by Spring Trees
“Is there any side effects?” Nan Ge Er nodded, reaching his hand out to knock on the door, “Mn, there is no other meanings behind the question. Besides, an elder brother should yield to his younger brother; you don’t have to be guilty about it.” Moreover, Mo Shu doesn’t have any clue at all.
“Who would feel guilty about it?!” Zhu Xi howled again.
“Yes, yes, yes.” Nan Ge Er replied without any sincerity, “I’m the one feeling guilty. I’m guilty of not even realizing the two of you surprisingly look a little similar. How amazing.”
“Hey!” Zhu Xi’s tone was slightly fuming, “Xiao Nan, you’re starting to get naughty.”
“All thanks to the teachings from citizens of Guang Tian,” Nan Ge Er smiled as his brows leaped up, “and many thanks for the care from Advisor.”
Zhu Xi noticed Nan Ge Er had an unrivaled glib tongue today. Thus, he shut his mouth up knowingly, while secretly noting down this grudge in his heart.
Hearing Nan Ge Er wanted to take some food away for Mo Shu, who was working at the government office then, Auntie Zhu cooked a few more dishes in joy, and let Nan Ge Er carry them back.
By the time they returned to the government office, meal time had already passed. Furthermore, the poor Mo Shu-xian sheng was still working and missed his lunch time. Coincidentally, Zhu Xi had to settle an urgent matter and left in a hurry. With that, only Nan Ge Er and Mo Shu, who buried his head in the takeaway, were left in the canteen.
“Is it nice?” Nan Ge Er sat by Mo Shu’s side, asking him.
After swallowing the food in his mouth, he turned his head towards Nan Ge Er and smiled, “Mn.” He then swooped down to eat again.
It felt as if he was making Nan Ge Er one of his side dishes.
Due to that, Nan Ge Er, being treated as his side dish, felt extreme pressure.
Nan Ge Er coughed and asked again, “What do you think about today’s lunch?”
Mo Shu lifted his head, glancing at him in confusion, “It is pretty good.” Didn’t I answer it just now?
As Nan Ge Er looked at that innocent expression on Mo Shu, he couldn’t control himself from wanting to whack him.
“Don’t you find anything different?” He probed.
Mo Shu blinked, before revealing a look as though light had dawned on him in that second. He gazed at Nan Ge Er with an expression as tender as dew while speaking lovingly, “It is something Xiao Nan specially brought back for me, of course it is delicious.”
…
What in the world am I conflicted about just now?!
Black lines fall on Nan Ge Er’s head.
“But,” Mo Shu chuckled, “Homemade food like this is indeed rare for me.” In the past, before Nan Ge Er’s arrival, the kitchen auntie always cooked using a large pot. When Nan Ge Er arrived, Mo Shu would usually prepare his meals himself.
There really was nothing wrong with his reply.
However, once Nan Ge Er heard it, he felt something seemingly pricking at a particular area in his heart.
The pain was fragmented.
Mo Shu would never know, contrary to what he thought, his mother hadn’t died.
He would never know that his brother of the same mother could eat his mother’s homemade cooking almost daily.
And yet he was alone. In an ignorant, fearless state, he grew up gradually—he wasn’t even capable of learning pain and loneliness.
This was too unfair to Mo Shu.
At that moment, Nan Ge Er even had the urge to tell Mo Shu.
You deserve the love of your mother, instead of living in loneliness by yourself.
“What’s wrong?” When Mo Shu noticed Nan Ge Er frowning as he looked at him, he placed the bowl and chopsticks down.
Nan Ge Er came back to his sense, before smiling towards Mo Shu, “Mo Shu.”
“Hmm?” Mo Shu reached out to stroke Nan Ge Er’s head.
“Are your parents close?”
“I guess so.” Mo Shu pondered, “Since I remembered Father being depressed all day long. Once I was able to take over the work in Guang Tian, he simply contracted a serious illness, releasing himself to the other world.”
Nan Ge Er smiled, “Mn, judging from that, your parents must be really close.”
Mo Shu didn’t know why Nan Ge Er mentioned this to him, but still, he nodded cooperatively.
“Mo Shu is the proof of their love.” Nan Ge Er chuckled, taking the initiative and hugged Mo Shu, “Although your parents have passed, you have me now.” This will do. No need to mention anything in the past. Since scabs are already formed on the wounds, there’s no need to scratch out fresh blood from them.
Having me here is enough…
Mo Shu was rather astonished by how initiative Nan Ge Er was, but he would never reject Nan Ge Er’s hugs. Hence, he followed suit and embraced Nan Ge Er, “You have me too.”
Chapter 52
* * *
Time rapidly swept past once spring arrived.
In a blink of an eye, it was already midsummer.
As always, Nan Ge Er opened his tea stall to supplement for the domestic expenses.
Mo Shu-xian sheng was busy every single day—of course, Mo Shu-xian sheng could be considered a family man now. The moment he returned home, he jubilantly took on the role of a househusband.
Today, Mo Shu-xian sheng came back home early to cook their lunch.
“Is it nice?” Mo Shu sat by the opposite edge of the table, looking at Nan Ge Er placing a chopstick-full of food into his mouth.
Nan Ge Er nodded—although he didn’t get to taste the cooking of everyone in Guang Tian, Mo Shu’s culinary prowess was indeed the best out of all that he knew of.
Even though Nan Ge Er gave affirmation to Mo Shu’s cooking skills every single time, Mo Shu still felt joyful about Nan Ge Er’s approval. He stuffed a few more food items into Nan Ge Er’s bowl, “Eat more; you must get stronger.”
Why does Mo Shu sound like a butcher? Nan Ge Er murmured in his heart. Eat more, so I can be easily slaughtered when New Year comes?
“You don’t need to go out today?” Noticing how carefree Mo Shu looked, Nan Ge Er asked involuntarily.
“I’ve completed today’s work,” after a light chuckle, Mo Shu picked some food up and deliver it towards Nan Ge Er’s mouth. “Ahh…”
…Ahh…Ahh, my ass! Do you think I’m a baby, you bastard!
Nan Ge Er felt a strong urge to flip the table, but once his eyes came in contact with Mo Shu’s smiling face, his temper vanished.
What can I do? What can I do about him? This guy seems to know I’m weak to coaxing instead of intimidation!
Thus, Nan Ge Er had no choice but to open his mouth up, chomping down the food Mo Shu fed him, before staring daggers at him. “Don’t talk when eating or sleeping!”
This rule wasn’t really popular in Guang Tian, so basically no one abided by it during mealtimes. However, as Nan Ge Er was teased mercilessly at present, the only thing he could do was to spout out that sentence.
Mo Shu didn’t refute either. He simply closed the gap between them with a smile, naturally kissing Nan Ge Er’s cheeks, then his forehead, before pinching his ears lightly. Only then did he pick up his bowl and start eating.
True enough, he didn’t utter any words.
Nonetheless, Nan Ge Er still felt hundreds of ‘fuck you’s racing across his mind—Are you for real? You’re treating it too literally, Da Ge!
I really feel I have no strength to respond, god damn!
He finally finished his meal in silence—if only he could just ignore the five times Mo Shu fed him, the seven times he stuffed food into his bowl, the ten times he reached over to touch him, and his endless gazing at him eating…
Nan Ge Er felt his stress level building up.
Nan Ge Er had no idea if it was just his imagination, but after they returned to Guang Tian, the level of Mo Shu’s infatuation and stickiness towards him multiplied.
The most unfair part of it was that he used such an ethere
al face to display his obviously love-struck expression.
Exactly what kind of magical arrangement was required to form such an absurd look?
After his lunch, Nan Ge Er shifted his gaze towards Mo Shu, who was cleaning up the table—Isn’t my life a bit too laid-back?
There’s no need for me to cook or clean up after a meal. Laundry and cooking is all done by him…
I just need to eat and sleep -ugh- and pose myself so Mo Shu can hug or touch me any time.
Thinking about it, this is actually a stressful job!
When Mo Shu finished packing up, he came back and sat beside Nan Ge Er. He wrapped his arm around Nan Ge Er’s shoulder while stroking Nan Ge Er’s head with the other, “Are you tired today?”
My only daily task is to circle around my tea stall and come back home once I earn enough. Unlike me, you need to run around outside every day and even have to cook and clean when you return home. You’re much more tired than I am!
Nan Ge Er twitched his lips, forcefully stopping his impulse to diss at him.
“Are you full?” Mo Shu reached out his hand again to rub Nan Ge Er’s stomach. He began pinching Nan Ge Er’s waist only after feeling that it had quite a bit of mass, “You gained a bit at last. Be good this time; you are not allowed to think too much, alright?”
Being told off by a love-struck fool, even more so an idiotic one, in such a pampering tone; how depressing is that…
Nan Ge Er stared at Mo Shu without a word.
“Do you want me to make anything else for you at night?” After having his fill of hugs, Mo Shu sat properly again as he questioned Nan Ge Er.
Under Nan Ge Er’s influence, Mo Shu slowly grew the habit of having three meals a day.
“Up to you,” Nan Ge Er gave a weak reply.
He did comment he wanted food with a heavier dash of flavor, like barbeque, but it was rejected by Mo Shu with the reason of it being harmful to his body.
Hence, he tactfully expressed no opinion about it.
“How obedient.” Mo Shu stroked his head, “Are you still going to storytell in the afternoon?”
“Mn.” Sitting in the cool, spacious hall after his lunch, Nan Ge Er swiftly began to feel drowsy under the warm summer breeze—what a great place Guang Tian is; its summer isn’t sweltering, while its winter, although chilly, isn’t as freezing as any other places.
“Sleepy?” Mo Shu chuckled as he helped Nan Ge Er tuck a few strands of hair behind his ear.
“Uh,” Nan Ge Er let out a muddled answer.
“Go sleep in your room. It’s windy here; be careful not to catch a cold.” Mo Shu shook his shoulders.
“I’m too lazy to move…” Nan Ge Er murmured.
“Alright, I’ll carry you over.” Mo Shu laughed faintly, before lifting him up effortlessly.
Of course, Nan Ge Er was startled once he was raised up the air. With that, even his drowsiness disappeared in a puff of smoke. He only came back to his senses after a long daze, crying out softly, “Mo Shu, let me down!”
This is so embarrassing!
“I’ll put you down when we’re in your room.” Mo Shu appeared to enjoy how helpless and fierce Nan Ge Er looked. He carried Nan Ge Er to his room uncooperatively.
Once the weather started warming up, Nan Ge Er and Mo Shu began sleeping in separate rooms.
One reason why Nan Ge Er did so was due to him finding it embarrassing, while another reason being his fear of sparking something off.
Although he could accept living the rest of his life together with a man, he found it difficult and too much of a burden the minute he thought about doing that with a man…
Strictly speaking, it was being done by a man…
This stressed him out furthermore.
In order to prevent himself from getting impetuous and Mo Shu from doing something uncontrollable, Nan Ge Er made a wise decision of separating their rooms.
Mo Shu disapproved it, but since he never forced Nan Ge Er into doing anything, he could only compromise unwillingly.
Mo Shu set Nan Ge Er onto his bed carefully, petting his head gently, “Be good and rest well.”
Even he himself didn’t know how tender his smile was.
Perhaps, Mo Shu doesn’t even know what kind of expression he wears when he’s looking at me.
But, I’m aware of it. I’m always aware of it, which is why I’m eroded by him bit by bit.
Nan Ge Er raised his head blankly, gazing at Mo Shu’s face.
“What is it?” Mo Shu realized Nan Ge Er didn’t plop down to the bed, but was grabbing his clothes and dazing at him instead. “Aren’t you sleepy?”
“…Mo Shu.” Nan Ge Er tugged on Mo Shu’s sleeves.
“Hmm?”
“My body condition is weak, so I might pass on before you, and leave you behind…” Nan Ge Er whispered; he knew his condition the best, “Is this…really alright?” He didn’t want to abandon Mo Shu after developing a deep relationship with him. That wasn’t fair.
When he remembered Mo Shu mentioning the melancholic life his father had, he began worrying unconsciously.
If he wouldn’t live much longer, then what would happen to Mo Shu once he left him?
The moment Nan Ge Er uttered those words, he noticed Mo Shu’s eyes fixed on him.
After biting his lips, Nan Ge Er repeated softly, “Is this really alright, Mo Shu?”
As a reply, Mo Shu inched over, sealing Nan Ge Er’s lips gently with his, stopping his attempts at continuing.
“I don’t like you talking about this.” After successfully shutting Nan Ge Er’s mouth, Mo Shu pressed against Nan Ge Er’s forehead, hugging him as he whispered, “You know I don’t like to hear about it.”
“Stop being willful,” Nan Ge Er gave him a slightly bitter smile for a short while. “You do know, even if I don’t mention it, it still doesn’t mean it won’t happen.”
“Mn, I know,” Mo Shu muttered. “But I don’t like to hear you talking about it.”
Nan Ge Er found the wilfulness in Mo Shu’s reply a little amusing and was tempted to grin. However, in the end, he merely twitched his lips slightly, keeping quiet. “Alright,” he answered softly. “I’m not going to talk about it.” Maybe because one would never be able to look at one’s truest expression, the person directly opposite was the one capable of doing that instead. Therefore, Nan Ge Er always could distinguish the slight fluctuations behind Mo Shu’s elegant and indifferent face.
Presently, the emotion Mo Shu wanted to express was—uneasiness.
Mo Shu stared at Nan Ge Er seriously for a long while again, before reaching out and taking Nan Ge Er into his arms, “Besides, isn’t it too late for you to talk about it?”
After a brief shock, Nan Ge Er curled his lips up, “True.”
It really is too late.
“I should have warned you earlier.”
“Your only request for me is to treat you well,” Mo Shu whispered. “I will follow it through. So, if you don’t want me to be upset, try your best to live a bit longer.”
“Alright,” Nan Ge Er lifted his head, touching Mo Shu’s lips. “Alright, I promise you.”
Chapter 53
* * *
Never am I willing to mull over too much; I only wish to live my life day by day. However, humans just can’t control how they think.
* * *
After a long quiet moment of locking eyes with Mo Shu, Nan Ge Er let out an abrupt smile silently. He sat onto Mo Shu’s legs, tugging on Mo Shu’s lapel.
Mo Shu didn’t utter a word. He simply reached his hand out, protecting Nan Ge Er from falling off accidentally.
Do you know what I want to do now?
Nan Ge Er looked at Mo Shu with a turn of his head, attempting to find a clue from his expression.
However, Mo Shu merely looked at him back, no difference in his expression.
“Mo Shu,” he called out to him softly.
Instead of answering, Mo Shu just fixed his gaze at him.
“
You really are cunning.”Even I..even I am willing to nibble away any bit of resistance in me because of you.
It was unknown if Mo Shu understood the meaning behind Nan Ge Er’s sentence. He curled his lips up, forming a light smile, as he reached out to stroke Nan Ge Er’s hair.
“Mn.”
“I don’t like you,” Nan Ge Er muttered with his head buried. “I don’t like this place.” For making me revive again, letting me be able to get injured and be miserable.
“Mn.” Mo Shu chuckled lightly. With his head lowered, he kissed Nan Ge Er’s forehead.
Nan Ge Er slightly broke Mo Shu’s shackles when he lifted his head, straightened his body, tilted his head up, and landed a gentle kiss onto Mo Shu’s lips.
“Do whatever you like.”
The wind of the midsummer soared past outside the windows, tousling the rustling leaves of the tree beside the window. The cicadas on the treetop rest for a moment before singing brightly along with the wind.
Peddlers hollered on the streets with their goods at their back. Faint noises of children playfully dashing past could be heard, as well as the whispers from passers-by.
Yet, the clamor was tranquil.
Just like the heartbeats thumping against his chest — chaotic yet peaceful.
Mo Shu froze initially, before reaching his hand out and stroking Nan Ge Er’s head, “There’s no need to force yourself.”
“No, I am not,” Nan Ge Er snuggled his head into Mo Shu’s arms, shaking his head. “I just feel a need to do it.” Since they were mutually in love, it was obviously natural for them to take this step forward.
This step was a result occurring naturally under the right conditions.
He lifted his head, “Mo Shu, don’t you want to?”
Mo Shu perked up his lips while poking Nan Ge Er’s cheeks, “You…”
“Hm?”
“-r face is so red.”