“Logan,” she breathed his name, trying to say something, but the words wouldn’t come.
“This painting is you. My final song was you. You have been my every waking thought since we met. I can’t sleep. I can’t focus. I can’t do anything, but think about you,” Logan continued, his face coming even closer to hers.
“Caroline…” Logan exhaled her name, leaning forward.
His forehead met with hers, as they looked down at each others’ lips. Both of their breathing was slightly ragged as his arms tightened around her. Her hands were on his chest, trying to keep some barrier between them. Her defenses were quickly melting away. He moved closer and she felt his lips brush against hers. It wasn’t a kiss, just a caress, but the sensation was like lightning, deliciously attacking her entire body.
“Caroline, I’ve never felt this way before. Tell me you feel this.” He was almost begging, yet somehow commanding at the same time. His lips brushed hers again, refusing to actually commit until she allowed him, until she told him that she felt it too. Her eyes were closed, her body was flush against his.
“Yes.” She was barely able to utter the word as she leaned further into him, willing his lips to finally meet hers. She was on fire and only his lips could cool her. But he didn’t move closer, he pulled further away.
“Caroline, I have to tell you-“ Logan started to say, still holding her and looking deeply into her eyes. He looked worried, an expression that she had never seen on him before. It quickly grounded her and brought her out of her hazy, lust-filled moment with him.
“What’s wrong?” she asked him, pulling back enough that his arms dropped to her hips, instead of around her back. Just as she was pulling back, a high pitched woman’s voice rang out from the other side of the curtain.
“LOGAN!”
He jumped back from Caroline hurriedly, letting go of her completely. She felt like someone had just ripped a bandage off of her with no warning, almost as if it was physically painful to not have his arms around her. He turned and walked toward the part in the curtains just as a tall woman with black hair, tied firmly into a bun, marched into the room.
Her face was pulled tight with irritation and her frail frame was held together by a tightly wrapped dress and way too high heels. Her eyes were a deep green, which was probably the most appealing thing about her. They drew you in and made you look past the snarl that seemed to permanently belong on her lips.
“Logan, you are late! You need to be finishing sound check for tomorrow’s show. Then you need to rest, so you will be able to perform!” She walked straight up to him and kissed him squarely on the mouth.
“Come on, babe. Let’s move it,” she commanded, pointing to the curtain. Finally, she seemed to notice Caroline standing in the back of the room. The mystery woman’s eyes narrowed as they appraised her.
“Oh, hello there. Didn’t know Logan had company.” She turned to Logan with an angry look before gesturing to Caroline. “Care to explain?”
“Gina, this is Caroline. Caroline, this is my girlfriend, Gina. Caroline was just looking at this painting. She is considering buying it when I’m done,” Logan flubbed through an explanation but Caroline hadn’t heard anything past the introduction of his “girlfriend”.
That sentence and the moment that they had just shared did not mix in her mind. She couldn’t understand what was going on. Logan was still talking to Gina, but it was all a fog to her. Caroline stood there, getting angrier by the moment, realizing she had been very close to kissing a man who was involved with another woman. Logan said something to her, but she didn’t hear him. He and Gina walked through the curtain and left her standing alone in the small room.
She looked back at the painting of her and a flash of fury jolted through her. With one swipe of her arm, she knocked the entire easel over and the painting lay face down on the floor. Feeling satisfied by the action, Caroline took a deep breath and mentally slapped herself for what seemed like the millionth time that day.
She can’t believe she had let herself get carried away like that. Twice!
He was a musician, a rock star, a man surrounded by groupies. Of course he would be the player type too. Of course he would have a girlfriend. Caroline felt so stupid as she headed to leave, pausing right before the curtains, she saw Logan’s shirt draped over a chair arm.
Her anger seemed to immediately dissipate and replaced with a sudden feeling of sadness. She didn’t know why she was doing it, but she grabbed his shirt and stuffed it into her purse. She then continued to storm out and go find Jackie and Aralia. They were still on the other side of the room when Caroline walked over to them angrily, Logan was nowhere in sight.
“Aralia, I want to go. Now,” Caroline said, sounding angry.
If she let out anything but anger, it was going to be an unending stream of tears. She was not going to give this jerk the satisfaction of seeing her cry. Caroline was strong, always had been and always will be. She didn’t cry over hurt feelings. Aralia and Jackie turned to look at her and immediately sensed her tone, understanding she was serious. They quickly said goodbye to the people they were with and followed her, heading back to the first door that they had entered through. As Caroline opened the door, Logan burst through and almost collided with her. He looked frantic and Caroline took a step back, startled. She quickly narrowed her eyes at him, clenching her jaw, and attempted to push past him.
“Caroline, please. Let me explain.” Logan grabbed her arm gently.
She yanked it away from him, shooting him an angry look. As hard as she tried, she couldn’t stop the tears that had begun to spill onto her eyelashes. She knew he could see them in now which only upset her more. Saying nothing, she forcefully pushed past him and walked out. Jackie and Aralia were right on her tail, supporting her, but both looking bewildered as to what had just taken place. Logan followed them out into the hall, but didn’t chase her.
“Caroline! Please!” he called after her. It wasn’t going to do any good, she was already through the double doors, leaving him and his world behind. Caroline didn’t cry over men.
Chapter Six
There was a full line of yellow taxis picking up concert attendees as the three girls added themselves to the line of people waiting. Everyone was dressed in varying degrees of night club clothing, ranging from fishnet stockings to bright neon colors. The girls blended in with their outfits. Caroline was still rocking her skinny leather pants, plus her green top had fallen even further off her shoulder during her encounter with Logan. As they slowly inched toward the front of the line, Caroline’s friends couldn’t hold their questions any longer.
“Are you going to tell us what happened back there? You rushed us out like the place was on fire,” Jackie said to her, Aralia nodding in agreement.
Caroline faced her friends, dropping her left hip, so her weight was being supported on her right leg. She looked down at her hands, fidgeting again.
“It really wasn’t that big of a deal. I was just ready to go home,” Caroline attempted to stay vague.
“Caroline, come on now. Logan Clay, a famous rock star, was calling your name down the hall, as we rushed away, like we were fleeing the scene of a crime. I mean, if your shoe had fallen off, it would be the rock and roll version of Cinderella,” Aralia scoffed back at Caroline, refusing to let the issue drop at vague.
“I thought we had a moment. I thought there was something there. It was stupid and I should have known better. Just like you said, he is a famous rock star.” Caroline sighed.
“What does that mean? Shit, Caroline! Did you hook up with Logan Clay? THE Logan Clay?” Jackie interjected, her eyes lit up.
“No! Of course not! I’m not like that. I mean, not really. Okay, there was just a quick moment where I thought we were going to kiss but, I don’t know, we didn’t,” Caroline stammered, trying to explain herself, but struggling to describe something she was just as confused about.
“Caroline, what happened?” Aralia probed again.r />
“I thought something was going to happen between him and I. He gave me this whole speech about how he couldn’t stop thinking about me since we met on Monday. It was all so romantic, I just got caught up. I shouldn’t have let my guard down. Just when I thought something was going to happen, he pulls away and then his fucking bitch girlfriend walks into the room,” Caroline started speaking faster with every syllable she uttered. She felt the anger rushing back to her, sitting like a rock in her stomach that she wanted to grab and throw right at his face.
“His girlfriend?!” Aralia and Jackie gasped in unison, gaping at her, and begging for further details.
“Yeah, the girlfriend he didn’t mention. Of course. He is just a player, a stereotypical musician. She walks right in and they kiss right in front of me, then he leaves with her. I mean, the nerve of him to try to seduce me, pretending he has feelings for me, painting a portrait of me, telling me that he never felt this way before. Seriously? What crap! I fell for every word, hook, line, and sinker until Gina walked into the room. BAM, fantasy shattered,” Caroline was ranting now, pacing back and forth in a tight circle.
“Wait, who is Gina?” Aralia asked.
“He painted a portrait of you?” Jackie asked at the same time.
Caroline took a deep breath to calm down. “Gina, his girlfriend. Well he said it was of me, but it’s probably just a ploy he uses to get women.”
Aralia and Jackie stared at her, their minds trying to absorb the breadth of information that she had just rained on them. At that point, they were at the front of the line and the cab driver opened the door for all of them. They squeezed into the backseat and gave directions back to Caroline’s place. The car took off in the typical New York taxi lurch into oncoming traffic, pulled an illegal u-turn, and headed in the direction of Caroline’s apartment.
“Don’t brush him off so quickly, Caroline. I mean, the guy is a rock star. That kind of scores him some bonus points, you know? Plus, I know you pretty well and your judgment is rarely off base. If you thought he meant those things he said, then maybe he really did. Aside from the entire girlfriend fiasco, it sounds unbelievably romantic,” Aralia said to Caroline in the cab.
“I guess, but the girlfriend is a pretty big part to leave out,” Caroline responded.
Jackie and Aralia both nodded in agreement. Deciding to change the subject, they began chatting about their night and the men that they had met. Jackie had met a security guard, whose phone number was written down the side of her arm, and Aralia had met a group of gay men that she was going to go clubbing with next weekend. It wasn’t long until the taxi jolted to a stop in front of Caroline’s apartment building. She climbed over Aralia and hopped out of the cab, waving goodbye to the girls. They smiled and shouted goodbye to her, then turned to give the driver the next address.
Caroline waved until the taxi pulled away, then walked over to her front door and thanked the doorman as he opened it for her. She slowly climbed the several flights of narrow stairs until she reached her apartment door. She had a large apartment for New York, but that still wasn’t saying very much. She let herself in and dropped her keys on the front table. Her home was dark and she didn’t bother to turn on any of the lights. Instead, she stepped out of her heels, wiggled out of her leather pants, and tossed off her shirt, leaving a trail of clothes on the floor to her bedroom.
Once in her room, she threw on the t-shirt that she had stolen from Logan, enjoying the soft fabric that hung loosely on her small frame. She climbed straight into bed and was already asleep when her head hit the pillow. The commotion, exhaustion, and emotions of the evening had zapped everything that she had.
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Caroline woke up to a stream of sunlight stealing its way into her room, through a gap in the blinds. She scrunched her eyes closed, trying to ignore Sunday altogether, and just go back to sleep. After about an hour of willing the sun to disappear and its defiant refusal to do so, Caroline yawned and lifted herself out of bed. She had no plans today and could just relax, which was exactly what she intended to do. The events of last night were behind her and she was back to real life, ready to move on.
She trotted into her kitchen and began rummaging through her fridge, finally settling on yogurt mixed with some granola. Grabbing a spoon, she balanced the yogurt in one hand and scooped up her sketch pad and pencil, heading to the living room. Her favorite part of her apartment was an alcove jutting out of the building that she had turned into a window seat with comfy pillows adorning it. It was the perfect spot to sit and people watch, looking for inspiration on what to draw that day.
She settled herself on the bench, leaning her bare legs against the window, as she was still wearing just the large t-shirt she had stolen from Logan. Her sketch pad sat behind her as she dove into her yogurt, enjoying each bite as she watched people walk by on the sidewalk below. She was on the second floor, so she was at the perfect angle that most people couldn’t, or wouldn’t, notice her, but still had a great panoramic view. Caroline spotted an older woman sitting on a bench reading a book a little ways down the block. For no particular reason, she knew that that woman was who she wanted to draw today. So, she put down her yogurt and started on her sketch pad.
First, she formed the shape of the woman’s body position and the bench, then went back to add more specific details, like her hair and clothes. Lastly, drawing in the final aspects of the scene, like the look in the woman’s eyes, the turning pages of the book, and the surrounding scenery. As she had been working, the sun had risen further in the sky and was now burning bright above her, causing the window seat to become uncomfortably hot. She hadn’t realized that so much time had elapsed, but she looked down at her sketch and smiled with pride.
She put the sketch pad down and stretched out her arms, preparing to get up. Just as she was unfolding her legs, she noticed a swift movement on the sidewalk close to her. She suddenly realized what she was looking at and jumped up, almost falling backwards. She pressed her face closer to the window to get a better view, but it only confirmed what she had seen. She turned to look at her apartment and immediately saw a million things wrong with it. She quickly tossed her yogurt away and picked up her clothes off the floor, rushing to her bedroom to toss them in the laundry bin. She was scrambling around the living room when her doorbell rang.
Coming to an abrupt halt, she looked down at the newspaper she had been taking to the trash and froze, unsure of what to do. She quickly tossed it behind a couch cushion, walking over to the front door. She tried to smooth down her hair with her hands, hoping that she looked somewhat presentable. Her hand grabbed the knob just as the bell rang a second time. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and opened the door.
“Hi,” he said gently, a smile in his words.
“Hi back,” Caroline exhaled, leaning against the door for support, in case her knees buckled in a rebellious attempt to embarrass her. The two stood in silence for a moment, just looking at one another.
“May I come in?”
Caroline nodded and stepped out of the way, her eyes glued to Logan as he walked into her apartment.
“How do you know where I live?” she asked. He turned back to look at her, clearly enjoying the view of her barely clad frame under a large t-shirt.
“George, from the Java Jolt. Then your nice door man downstairs helped pinpoint the specifics,” Logan told her.
Caroline made a mental note to have an angry talk with both Jeremy and George, but she couldn’t focus on that right now. Logan Clay was standing in her living room.
LOGAN CLAY IS STANDING IN MY LIVING ROOM. She took another deep breath, putting on a look of nonchalance, as she walked past him further into the living room.
“Well, why are you here? I think I made myself pretty clear last night. I have no interest in being another notch on your bed post, especially when you are already committed to another woman. I am not that kind of girl,” she said crossly, folding her arms and dropping her right hip
as she looked at him with accusation.
He didn’t respond right away and she couldn’t read his face. Part of him looked sad, the other part looked amused. They stood locked in a standoff until Logan took a step closer to her.
“That shirt looks better on you than it ever did on me.” Logan gave her half a smile, his head tilted to the side, as he looked down at her.
Caroline was puzzled, then realized what he was talking about. Her face turned bright red as she realized she had completely forgotten that not only had she stolen his shirt, but she had worn it to bed last night and was still wearing it now. She couldn’t explain why she had stolen it, all she knew is that the smell of him against her skin had been the best part of her night and was the sole cause for the amazing night’s sleep she had. She pulled down at the bottom of the shirt, trying to cover herself further, realizing how exposed her legs were.
“Crap, I’m sorry.” Caroline didn’t know what else to say.
She had stolen the man’s shirt. There really wasn’t any coming back from that.
“I was wondering where I had left that.” He chuckled, taking another step closer to her.
“I’ll be right back. I shouldn’t be standing here in nothing.” She slid around him, heading into her bedroom.
He had tried to reach out to grab her, but she avoided his grasp. Shutting the bedroom door behind her, she rested her back against it for a moment. She couldn’t believe he had just showed up at her house.
Why is he here? Where is his girlfriend?
She closed her eyes and let out a sigh, unsure of what to do. She liked Logan more than she wanted to admit, but he had a girlfriend and Caroline wasn’t that type of girl.
Or am I? She thought for a moment, then assured herself she was not. She grabbed a pair of leggings that were on the end of her bed and pulled them on under the shirt. She quickly slipped on a bra and some socks, then pulled her hair up into a ponytail. She glanced at herself in the mirror. She looked like she was heading off to yoga or the gym. Exactly what she was going for, she didn’t want to look like she was dressing up for him or like she cared.
Logan Clay: A Forbidden Rockers Box Set Page 12