by Lynn Hagen
“Hold his legs.”
Drew felt his legs being pinned down, his arms in a vise grip. “Get off me, damn you. Let me go! You fucking cocksuckers, get off me!” He fought against steel restraints, unrelenting, non-giving. Drew reverted to begging, “Please, it hurts. Just once, just once. Please. I promise, just once.”
“No, baby. Fight it. You have to fight it.”
“Fuck you!” He renewed his struggles, screaming to the top of his lungs. He was still trapped. Exhausted, he lay back, eyes still closed, panting.
“Bucket!”
Drew rolled over and vomited again before passing out.
It had been three days. Three days of vomiting, screaming, crying, begging, fighting, cursing, shaking, and fitful sleeping. Remi felt like roadkill.
The Sentries had taken turns helping him hold Drew down, bucket patrol and face wiping. Remi was indebted to them all. The moral support alone helped him handle this.
It was late afternoon on the third day when Drew had finally opened his eyes.
“Where am I?”
“Safe.” Remi pulled his mate closer, running his hands through his hair and watching for any signs of nausea or combativeness. Drew just lay there, looking like he had walked through the fires of hell.
“Who are you?”
“Remi. Someone who cares about what happens to you.” His mate’s voice was raspy, strained from the countless hours of screaming and vomiting. When his nausea dissipated, he would tend to it. For now, he just held him.
“I hurt.”
“I know, baby. I know.”
Chapter Two
Drew sat back and watched as Cecil beat Oliver in another game. They were two guys that lived here. He thought the guy Oliver a bit strange with all his piercings. Cecil seemed cool.
It had been four days since he woke in this housesince Remi changed his life.
He tugged at the cuffs of his long sleeves, a nervous habit he had developed with hiding his arms. Thoughts of escape were forefront, but every time he attempted to leave, someone was there to stop him. Drew got up, wanting to go back to Remi’s room. He didn’t like being around all these strangers. He didn’t like the fact that they all had witnessed his shame.
“Sure you don’t want to play, Drew?”
Drew stopped, turning back to the room to see Cecil’s arm extended, handing him the controller. He wasn’t into video games, much less having every eye on him in the room. Drew felt like a bug under a microscope, everyone watching his every move.
“No, thanks.” Drew left the den, wandering aimlessly around the enormous home. He stopped to study paintings of kids playing in a park or ancient cities. One in particular had caught his eye. Two wolves stood facing each other, nuzzling necks, the forest surrounding them and the moon silhouetting their beautifully colored coats. The painting drew him in, capturing his attention. He reached a hand out, lightly petting the fur that looked as though it were real, as if he could actually touch them.
Drew wanted to be one of those wolves. He wanted someone to look at him the way it was staring at its mate. Who would want a junkie? Who would want someone with all the issues he carried? Even if Remi succeeded in getting him clean, his body was marked, forever carrying the signs of humiliation. He was tired of hurting, tired of fighting. He didn’t want to do this anymore. “If only you were real,” Drew whispered to the pair. He continued on, wrapping his arms around his midsection, holding the pain in. If only he could go back in time before all this began, before that fateful day that had ruined his life.
“Hey, need some company?”
Drew looked up from his thoughts to find a young guy with long black hair down to his waist, brownish orange eyes that held pity in them. He didn’t want pity, just wanted to be left alone. Without an answer, he just continued on.
Drew stopped, leaned his back to the wall, and slid down. Pulling his knees in and hugging them to his chest, he felt so damn lost.
He woke with a start as he felt someone sitting next to him. Had he dozed off? Looking to his right, Remi sat silently in the same position, hugging his legs. Neither said a word.
“You’ll rise from the ashes and be a stronger man for this.” Remi broke the silence.
Drew laid his left cheek on his knee, staring at the strength he wanted to have, the confidence he used to possess. “I” Drew’s voice caught. He cleared it and tried again. “I wasn’t always like this, you know. I was actually pretty good in school, a good kid.” Drew wiped the tear that had managed to escape. He was struggling to hold back the tears and pain, only wanting peace right now.
Drew exhaled and then continued. “At first it was pills, to help me sleep. I suffer from insomnia. I found my tolerance was high. It took a large dosage to even take the edge off to relax, let alone sleep. It escalated from there, needing stronger stuff to work. Then one night at this party, me and this”Drew hesitated, locking gazes with Remi before continuing“guy I was dating at the time, well, let’s just say he saw something he shouldn’t have and, after that, he did everything he could to destroy me. Mike is a dealer. I didn’t know it at the time. He gave me something to help me sleep, and then he gave me something stronger, and so on. Until I got to where I am now.”
Drew waited for Remi’s disgust at his sexual preference. All through high school he was ostracized for being gay. It isolated him, made him work harder in school and at home. Hoping someone would notice and be proud of him.
Someone.
“We’ll get you through this. I’m not leaving you out there by yourself. There’s a whole house of people backing you up. Use them. Use all of us. That’s what we’re here for.” Drew was relieved Remi wasn’t judging him. The guy seemed pretty cool now that he was somewhat calmed. He wasn’t so sure about going to strangers for help, other than Remi.
“You want to go upstairs?”
“No. If you don’t mind, can we go back with everyone else? I kinda don’t want to be cooped up in that room right now.” Drew stood and stretched. His muscles sore from sitting in that position for so long.
“Want me to go with you?”
“To be honest…” Drew shoved his hands in his front pocket, looking down at his sneakers, “I don’t want you to leave my side.” He glanced up to see Remi’s reaction.
“Wouldn’t dream of it.”
“Anyone ever tell you that you look like Gerard Butler?” Only ten times as handsome.
Remi rolled his eyes.
Drew watched as a guy with blond curls down to his shoulders pointed his finger up into Oliver’s face, screaming at him. What the hell was going on?
“What do you mean the movie was gay? What’s wrong with gay? I’m gay. Are you trying to say something bad about gay people? You…you…weenie head!”
Drew stepped back. Whoa, the little guy was bringing out the big guns.
“I didn’t mean anything by it. You just took it the wrong way. Grow up!” Oliver smacked the blond guy’s finger from his face, and all hell broke loose.
The guy Remi introduced as Commander Hawk growled as he advanced toward Oliver as the guy Micah grabbed Oliver around the waist, hauling him from the den. Drew didn’t know what to do. He had never been in this kind of violent situation with men as large as these.
Hawk blocked Micah’s path, his canines punching through his gums.
“He will apologize to my mate!”
“He will. Give me a moment with him, Hawk,” Micah said.
Drew heard none of that. He was shocked. All reasoning fled as he ran from the room, losing himself down the maze of hallways. He couldn’t breathe. He needed air. Were those really canines he saw? No, he had to have been seeing things. He found a side door and bolted through it, out into the rain.
Drew ran for the forest, not caring that the rain was biting cold or that he didn’t even have a coat on. He came to a skidding halt, slipping in the wet grass and landing on his ass as two large wolves emerged from the trees, growling.
Drew flipped ov
er to his hands, pushing himself back up and took off to his right. The wolves ran on both sides of him, boxing him in. Drew slipped again, trying to turn to head in the opposite direction when another wolf cut him off. Three. There were three of them.
Drew fell into a crouch, his eyes shifting and his canines extending, ready to defend himself. A growl ripped from him, his heart pounding, his eyes darting everywhere, trying to find a break that he could use to run through.
Drew shifted to the left, taking off back toward the house when he ran right into a wall.
Remi.
“Get in the house, Remi. There are wolves out here!” Drew tried to grab Remi’s hand to run to safety, but Remi didn’t budge.
“Remi, hurry!”
Remi grabbed Drew by the back of his neck, yanking his jaw down. “You have canines. How? How can your eyes shift?” Drew whimpered at the shocked look on Remi’s face.
“It’s not my fault! Please. Let me go.” Drew tried to pull his head from Remi’s grip, but he wouldn’t release him. Now Remi knew his secret. He would yell at him to get out. Call him a freak. Try to destroy him just as Mike had.
“Stop, pup. Hold still now!”
Drew became still at the command. He felt a compulsion to obey. If Remi had used this voice outside of the mall, Drew wouldn’t have made it two feet.
“How? You’re human.” He continued to examine Drew’s small canines with curiosity. “Is this the secret Mike found out?”
“Yes.” Drew spoke around Remi’s fingers that were poking at his teeth.
“Half-breed?”
“Don’t call me that!” Drew snapped his head back, trying to rid himself of Remi’s hold.
“Pup or half-breed?”
Drew glared at him. Remi was being a smart-ass. He started shivering from the cold rain stinging his flesh.
Remi grabbed his arm, leading him inside, guiding Drew to their room. The wolf grabbed a handful of towels from the bathroom.
“Strip out of those wet clothes. Can you get sick?” Remi began to towel dry his hair as Drew pulled off the soaked jeans that were clinging to his body. They landed with a loud thud on the carpet. As he unbuttoned his shirt, he answered his question, “Yes, I can get sick. I’m an addict, aren’t I?” He was wrestling to free himself from the drenched material.
“Hold still.” Remi helped to untangled him and pulled it off, dropping it on top of the denim.
“Take the underwear off, too.” Remi ordered as he stood there waiting, ignoring Drew’s snide remark.
Drew hesitated. He would be standing in front of Remi naked. His erection would tell the man his desires. Remi wasn’t gay, was he? His cock was already bulging in his boxer briefs, showing exactly how he was feeling. He hooked his thumbs in the waistband and yanked the wet underwear down and off, tossing them as well.
Remi was looking directly at his hard on. Drew covered himself as Remi cleared his throat.
“Can you shift?”
“No. How do you know so much about my…creature?” Drew grabbed one of the towels in the guy’s hand and wrapped it around his waist. He felt a little better about being covered, but the towel was tenting in front of him. How embarrassing.
“It’s not a creature. You’re part wolf. How could you not know this?”
“I know who I am. My father is full grey wolf, and my mom is human. I call it a creature because it has caused me nothing but problems.” He turned his back, crossing the room and plopped down on the bed. He was tying his best not to react to the fact that he was in a house full of were-creatures. The only one he had ever known was his father. These wolves were huge!
“I don’t understand how you can be an addict if you have wolf in you. We don’t get addicted to human drugs or catch their diseases.”
“Half human, hello?” Drew couldn’t figure out why he was being so damn irritable. He wanted to rip Remi’s throat out, and all the guy had done was help him. Was it the withdrawals?
Drew started tasting it in his mouth as he thought about it. He could mentally smell the alluring aroma of the drug all the way to his lungs. He began to salivate, needing. His chest tightened as his mind started thinking of ways to get out of here. It started hurting again.
“Talk to me, pup. I can see a change coming over you.”
Drew start to rock back and forth. His chest was rising and falling rapidly. He had to get out of here. This wasn’t going to work. None of it was. At least the guy had tried.
“Fuck off! I don’t need your help. I want to leave. Let me go now!” He charged Remi, knocking into the rock hard chest with his shoulder. Remi stumbled back, not expecting the attack. Drew grabbed the door handle and pulled it open. Dammit!
Someone was standing there. Drew plowed into him, but he didn’t even flinch. The guy was almost as tall as the door and just as wide.
“Don’t think so, little buddy. I stopped you once outside. I’ll do it again.” The guy crossed his arms over his chest as Drew calculated the possibilities of getting around him.
“I got it, Tank. Thanks.” Remi swung his arm around Drew’s chest and pulled him off of his feet, tossing him on the bed. Tank closed the door as Remi crawled over him.
“Think you can get out of here? Think you can escape? Think again, pup.” Remi nipped him. “If you’re part grey wolf, then you know about mates, about the claiming?”
Drew nodded as he watched Remi from guarded eyes.
“Good. Then I won’t have to do a lot of explaining when I tell you that you are my mate.”
Drew’s eyes grew as big as saucers. He placed his hands on Remi’s chest and pushed, trying to get up. This couldn’t be. How? Remi wasn’t even gay. All his actions and body language said he was a fierce male. He exuded confidence, manliness. He was the perfect specimen of what a male should be. How the hell was he gay?
On second thought, how was Drew his mate? There was no way he would settle for a junkie as his mate. Drew felt in over his head. He wiggled and twisted, trying to get off of the bed.
When Remi wouldn’t relent, he bared his canines, growling at him.
“How dare you threaten me?” Remi’s canines dropped, his eyes shifting. Drew knew when to submit, when to back the hell up. He had made a grave error in his haste to free himself. He had a full-grown, full-breed wolf hovering over him. Had he lost his ever lovin’ mind? Drew whined, baring his throat.
Remi nipped at his exposed neck, showing him who was the dominant predator, and then kissed the sting away.
Remi rolled off of Drew. “Get dressed.”
Chapter Three
Remi pulled into the parking lot of the local recreation center. The place was somewhere safe the town’s children could play. He was hoping that interacting with these less than fortunate humans would help his mate.
Sometimes helping other people with their problems helped to take the focus off of your own.
They had Cecil, Johnny, and Blair sitting in the back seat. Remi noticed Drew hadn’t spoken a word the whole way. Another truck followed them with three of the wolves from the house following close behind.
Everyone got out and closed the doors, heading up the steps and into a large room filled with kids jumping rope, shooting hoops, and making arts and crafts. His mate stayed close to his side, probably not knowing what to expect.
Little kids squealed as they ran to the wolf Tank. The massive warrior hunched down, hugging the little ones and grabbing the basketball. He became a jungle gym for them.
Cecil took Blair off to one corner as they sat in large bean bag chairs. Cecil grabbed a book and scooted close to Blair. Remi was proud of the Alpha’s mate for helping the other mate learn to read. Blair had been tossed out onto the streets after his father had decided he was too old to molest anymore. Blair had no choice but to turn to prostitution to survive. No one judged him. His mate Kota had asked Cecil to help him with his illiteracy.
The wolves Storm and Evan walked around, watching everyone and everything that went on, gua
rding the place. Mates were high value to anyone wanting to hurt their pack.
Remi took Drew off to the side. “I need you to do me a favor. You see Johnny over there?” Remi nodded toward Johnny. “He used to be a happy-go-lucky pup until his brother kidnapped him and damn near killed him. I was wondering if maybe you could sit with him, be there for him. His brother put that mark on his face when he broke his cheekbone. He thinks he’s too ugly now to be seen.” Remi watched the emotions that played over Drew’s face, his brows creased in thought.
Drew walked over and took a seat and helped Johnny bead a necklace he was working on. Remi smiled at his mate.
He looked like he really didn’t want to be here. Drew knew that feeling.
Drew slid the next bead over to Johnny as he threaded it on the string. He looked as though he was lost in another world. Drew knew how he felt about ugly marks. He carried his own as well.
Without a word, he slid his sleeve up to reveal his track marks to Johnny. The guy stopped what he was doing and stared at his arm. Drew felt self-conscious, wanting to rip the garment back in place, but in this moment, it wasn’t about him. It was about healing someone else.
“How did you get those?” Johnny glanced up at Drew then looked back down at his arm. The guy reached his hand out and ran his fingers down Drew’s arm. His arm trembled as he waited for Johnny to pull his hand back in disgust. Instead, he reached up and pulled Drew’s sleeve down.
“I got an ugly mark, too.”
Drew reached his hand up and traced the scar on Johnny’s face. The guy really was handsome. Drew wanted to touch his golden locks. They looked so soft and silky. “It’s not ugly. It just shows everyone that you’re a hero. You survived what your brother did. I think it makes you look like a tough guy.”
Johnny’s eyes grew round, “Really? I look tough?”
“Yeah, I was kinda scared to come over here. I thought maybe you might beat me up.” Drew saw that he was getting through.