by C. A. Harms
I hoped I gave Ash a good reason for wearing them, and now I guess it was just one less thing I had to worry about when I was around him. I was still concerned he would notice my blond roots, so I dyed my hair more often than I should. I missed my real hair color, but it was safer this way.
“What are you thinking about?” he asked, gaining my attention.
My thoughts often wandered to my worries. It was so easy to get lost in the dark memories of my past.
“Baby, you’ve got that lost look in your eyes,” Ash said, lightly rubbing my lower back as he held me close.
I smiled reassuringly up at him. “I was just thinking about tonight. It’s been amazing. Everyone is so kind, and you . . . ,” I whispered, looking into his questioning eyes as I took a few seconds to plan what to say next. “You have been so sweet and attentive. You’ve made me feel perfectly at peace by your side tonight. Thank you for that.”
He stared back at me without speaking, and for a moment I could tell he was searching my eyes for more.
I wanted to tell him more, I truly did. I wanted to tell him about everything that had led me to this moment. I wanted to tell him that every event I’d gone to prior to this one involved me being trotted around like an expensive set of jewelry to be used as a distraction. Remembering it made me feel dirty and pointed out how Ashton gave me so much more than Jase ever had.
But I had to remain hidden behind this damn fake identity.
“Not to mention that you look incredibly handsome in this tux.” I had to do something to lighten the seriousness that had begun to develop between us, so I tugged on his jacket.
He chuckled, and his gaze became heated when I slipped my other had beneath the jacket and gently rubbed along his lower back. “I’ve never seen a man that wore one so well,” I said with a grin. “It makes me want to do dirty things to you.”
“Oh,” he whispered as he pulled me closer, “is that so?”
I nodded.
It was time to use sex as a distraction, which I’d found to be quite effective on Ashton.
“I’ve had a difficult time keeping my hands off you tonight.” I pressed my body closer and could feel him growing hard as he flexed his hips, showing me just how excited he too was becoming.
“Don’t keep your hands off me, sweetheart,” he said with a smirk. “Feel free to touch me any way you’d like.”
“How much longer do we need to stay here?” I asked, suddenly feeling the need to get him alone. The way his eyes narrowed as he once again moved his hips assured me he was feeling it too.
“Meet me in the small bathroom just outside the ballroom, to the left, down the long, narrow hall,” he whispered so close to my ear his heated breath gave me chills. “It’s private. Not many people know about it.”
If that was true, I wondered how he knew it was there, but I wasn’t naive enough to believe Ashton had never used that very location to do exactly what he was suggesting now.
I would just have to make sure he quickly forgot those other times.
“Okay,” I replied as I slowly stood and stepped back from him before turning in that direction.
I didn’t look behind me; I knew he would wait before following.
With each step I took, my heart raced faster. I’d grown more adventurous because of Ash and found myself doing and saying things I’d never even thought of in the past. The freedom was addicting.
I was in the bathroom for just a few seconds before the door came open. I looked up at the small mirror over the sink and saw Ashton enter. He turned the lock on the handle while he brought his other hand to rest on the button of his pants. He didn’t speak as he closed the distance between us.
My hands remained braced on the sink before me as I continued to look at him in the mirror. There was something erotic about watching him approach as he worked himself free.
He leaned over just enough to slip his hand beneath the hem of my long gown before standing again, bringing the silk material up my body, exposing my legs. The cloth bunched up as he continued to lift higher and finally brought it to rest on my hips. The cool air chilled my exposed backside, and I closed my eyes for just a moment when he glided a palm over my thigh.
“You’re so perfect,” he said appraisingly.
I wanted to argue, but the thoughts were long forgotten when he slipped his finger beneath the hem of my panties. I leaned over the counter, arching my ass higher, opening myself up more.
The growl that escaped him when he found I was already wet sent a rush of excitement through me. “You wanted this,” he said.
Biting my lip, I looked up at his reflection in the mirror. I didn’t need to agree with him; he already knew it was true. I couldn’t hide my desire for him even if I tried. Anticipation had my legs shaking as I gripped the edge of the sink while he lowered his boxers enough to free himself.
The moment the head of his cock nudged against me, I closed my eyes, waiting for him to fill me.
“Open your eyes.” His demanding tone didn’t frightened me; it only excited me more. “Don’t look away, baby. Look at me.”
I locked my eyes on him through our reflections in the mirror.
His jaw tensed with the intensity of the moment as he ever so slowly slipped inside me. The way his eyes drooped lazily showed that he too was lost in pleasure as he pulled back only to push into me once again.
I remained frozen in a trance from his thrusting. The way he gripped my hips to control his movements as he continued to move against me was mesmerizing. He slipped his strong hand farther beneath the material of my dress and brought it to rest on my lower back, sending chills over my sensitive skin. I was so fucking insanely turned on that nothing could penetrate the haze I had fallen into.
I pushed back against him with each thrust of his hips, allowing him that extra depth. At this angle he was hitting that sweet spot within me over and over, causing the knot in my stomach to tighten even more.
“Let go,” he cooed. “Come with me, sweetheart.”
I was thankful he didn’t call me Kiera. I didn’t want that ugliness of those lies to taint this moment.
I wanted to remember it forever.
I woke to the feeling of something tickling the space just above my left eyebrow.
I opened my eyes and found Ashton only a few inches away, staring at me as he stroked my forehead with a finger.
“What happened here?” he asked.
I realized he was referring to the small scar above my left eyebrow. I tried to hide my body’s reaction to the memory of the night I gained that particular mark, but it was hard. Jase was so angry that night, and the memories still haunted me.
“When I was a senior in college, I thought I could jump off the diving board and do a flip, like my friend’s brother,” I said, thinking of a story quickly. The lie left a bitter taste in my mouth. “I face-planted on the edge of the board, and this was the result.” I shrugged, touching the small indentation as my throat tightened.
“And this one?” he asked as he traced the half-moon scar along my jaw. Apparently Mr. Montgomery was taking this morning to analyze each imperfection of my past.
I tucked my chin and brought my hand to rest on the second scar. When he brushed my hand away, I laughed nervously to hide the uncomfortable feeling rising in my chest.
“Something tells me this one has an equally amusing story behind it,” he said, and I was thankful he hadn’t picked up on my nervousness.
If being hit by an angry, drunk man wearing a ring was amusing, then yeah, I guess you could call the story behind this scar humorous.
“I will never try roller-skating drunk again,” I said with a fake smile. “As if it isn’t hard enough without alcohol involved, I decided to take it a step further.”
“It would appear my girl is a real live daredevil,” he said with a chuckle. “Just another college mishap?” he asked, still giving me an amused smile.
“Yes, I have many,” I assured him. Only that too wasn’t
the case. I only had “mishaps” like these after I met Jase.
I felt like I was driving another wedge between us with each lie I told. And that thought saddened me more than anything else.
ASHTON
IT’D BEEN ONE MONTH SINCE I convinced Kiera to give in to my advances and seven weeks since she first walked into my office and knocked me on my ass without warning.
I’d tried to wait for her to be ready to tell me fully about her past, and I’d remained silent throughout each lie. The stories she told about herself sounded so fake and forced that I knew they were a far stretch from the truth.
Maybe she’d come from a broken family that was nothing like my own.
Maybe she was one of those unlucky children that suffered at the hands of some sick fuck who should have known better, but didn’t.
I didn’t know, and not knowing ate away at me every day. But I didn’t want to be that guy that didn’t trust his girlfriend enough to wait for her to be to tell him what was bothering her.
Still, no matter how hard I tried to bury my curiosity, it just kept hammering away inside my mind day after fucking day.
So after staring for hours at the same spot on the wall next to the bookshelf in my office, I caved. I made a call to a man I knew would do whatever he could to help me find the answers I craved.
“What’s up, brother?” Beckett said as he answered my call.
“I need a favor.” I leaned back in my chair, feeling like the world’s biggest asshole.
“Name it.”
I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose. “I need you to look into the past of the woman I’m dating.” It came out in a rush, as if saying it fast would make me feel like less of a prick. “Things just seem off at times.”
“What do you mean ‘off’?” he asked.
“I don’t know,” I whispered, feeling like I should have just kept this to myself, but knowing now that I brought it up, Beck would never let it go. “There’s this sadness about her, even though she tries so hard to hide it. All I want to do is find out what it is, what causes it, and make it all go away. I’ve never fucking felt like that before, Beckett. Most of the time I just didn’t give a shit about whatever the fuck the women I was with had going on in their heads, but I want to protect Kiera from whatever is bothering her or whatever has hurt her.” Silence set over us, and my mind rolled over all the stories she’d told me.
“She doesn’t give too many details about her past, ever. But sometimes it’s like she slips up and lets something resurface without knowing it. It is kind of like she gets lost in a thought, and her eyes get this sullen look. I don’t really know to describe it, but there is something there.” I leaned forward and rested my elbows on my desk as I held the phone securely to my ear. “I need to know where she came from, about her life before she arrived in New York. I know she’s hiding something, Beckett.”
“Get me her full name, her address, and anything else you know,” he told me. “I’ll find out what I can.”
“Okay,” I whispered.
I felt even worse now than I had before. But I had to know what she was hiding. And why.
I sat at the bar with a tumbler of scotch in my hand and my cell phone on the bar top, lightly tapping at the empty space next to the device that continued to ring and chirp with incoming calls and notifications. My head was so fucked up over the right and wrong thing to do. Every moment since I called my brother, I’ve felt guilty for prying. I knew I was violating her privacy, yet I also knew she wouldn’t tell me the truth, which meant I had to take matters into my own hands.
When my phone vibrated again, I looked down to find Kiera’s name on the screen. This was the third time she’d tried calling in the last hour and the third time I’d allowed her call to go to voice mail.
Knowing just what I’d asked my brother to do lay heavy on my chest, and I just wasn’t sure I could face her yet. At least not without her knowing something was wrong. I knew I couldn’t keep my guilt and nervousness hidden if we spoke now. I had originally thought of asking her to accompany me to L.A. on Monday, but now I was thinking that going alone would be better. I needed the distance from her until Beckett gave me the information I needed.
I knew she was hiding information from me to protect herself, rather than to hurt me, but I wasn’t sure why Kiera thought I wouldn’t understand. I thought I’d made it clear that I wanted her. We all had things in our pasts that we weren’t so proud of; things we wished we could change.
“I thought I was the only one of the two of us that still came to this place.” I looked up just as Sloane sat on the stool beside me. She and I used to come to Floaters often when we wanted to get away from the crowd of rich socialites. Or rather, I dragged her here when I needed to get away from them, so never in my wildest dreams did I expect her to show up on her own. I thought this would be my safe place away from anyone who knew me.
“Guess I wasn’t the only one this bar left an impression on,” she said as she placed her overpriced handbag on the bar top.
I was just about to call bullshit, thinking she had to have somehow gotten wind that I was here, when Jimmy the bartender approached.
“Hey, sweetheart, you want your regular?” He was looking directly at Sloane as if he knew her well.
“Yeah, J,” she replied. “But make this one a double.”
As he walked away I turned my head to the side, but she remained staring straight ahead. “Thought I was pulling some sort of stalkerish shit, didn’t ya?” Her lips curled up in a grin. “Don’t flatter yourself, Ashton. I may have fawned over you for months, but I am far from pathetic. You’ve made your point very clear,” she said, finally looking over to meet my stare. “You and I are over. I’m not here to win you back, I’m just here for the liquor and lack of expectations from those who are always watching, waiting for me to screw up.”
I didn’t say anything to that. I knew what she was talking about. It was something I dealt with often. In a place like Floaters, no one cared what the hell you wore or where you came from.
As an investment tycoon, I got a lot of unwanted attention, and every once in a while I just needed an escape where people weren’t watching me, trying to find a way to tear me down. This was one of those times—a time when I felt defeated by thoughts I no longer wanted to fight against. I just wanted to let them take over, even if only for a little while.
“I’ve come here at least twice a week since you and I ended things,” Sloane said as Jimmy placed her glass before her. “And not once have I seen you here. So whatever it is eating at you, it must be pretty bad.”
She had no idea, but I sure as hell wasn’t about to have a discussion with her regarding it. My feelings were torn, but sharing them with my ex wasn’t the right thing to do.
“What makes you think it’s anything bad? I just needed a little drink without anyone analyzing it,” I stated as I lifted my drink, then downed the last of it. “I sure as hell didn’t expect you to show up here and pick apart what I’m doing and why.”
“Well, the feeling is mutual, Ash, because I never expected to show up here to find you hanging at the bar.” The bitchy woman I had left behind months ago had reappeared. “In fact I assumed you’d be safely tucked in at home with your new girlfriend.”
And there it was. Not many things got past Sloane and her need to know everyone’s business. I turned my head to look at her once more but didn’t bite back. That’s what she wanted.
“Mira told me,” she said with a shrug. “Apparently the two of you weren’t too shy about sneaking off to that bathroom you and I visited a few times.”
Mira was Sloane’s ears and eyes, and she was the nosiest fucking bitch I had ever met.
“Did you tell her about the times you and I snuck off to relieve a little tension during all those stuffy events?” She smiled as if deep in thought just before she bit her lower lip. “I’d bet Little Miss Perfect didn’t drop to her knees in her cheap, blue dress and blow your mind,
did she?”
All right, now she was pissing me off.
I may be questioning Kiera and what she’d told me about herself, but there was no fucking way I was about to allow Sloane to talk about her like that.
“She didn’t drop to her knees, Sloane.” She smiled as if being a fucking slut was something she should be proud of. “But that’s just because she has class, and you have none.”
Her mouth dropped open in shock before she quickly gathered her wits and did her best to recover by offering a fake smile.
I set my glass on the bar top and stood, and she glared at me with displeased eyes. She didn’t say anything in return, but if looks could kill, I would have been dead on the spot.
I turned my back to her and pulled my phone from my pocket, then shot a message to Murray that I was ready to be retrieved.
I’d avoided facing Kiera for too long. It wasn’t fair to her.
KINSLEY
“SO EVERYTHING SEEMS NORMAL, THEN?” During the last ten minutes, I had a perpetual knot lodged deep in my stomach, and I’d had my hand fisted so long, it had begun to ache. Just being alone with my thoughts this evening had spooked me. It’d been weeks since I’d worried about Jase and the idea that somehow, some way he would find me. But tonight those fears hit me hard.
“Everything is still the same. No movement or changes in their operations,” Rig assured me. “I had my guys check everything out.” He paused for a moment, and I heard his satisfaction when he spoke again. “Jase seems to have found himself a new plaything, so I think he’s occupied for now.”
Most wives would be jealous to hear their husband had moved on and was sleeping with another woman. And maybe it was wrong of me, but I was silently rejoicing. I only hoped she wasn’t as naive as I was or allowed him to treat her badly.
Maybe things were safe. Maybe I was finally free from him and his father.
“I guess I just needed reassurance,” I explained. “Sometimes I get this weird feeling, like things are about to backfire, I don’t know where it comes from, but it hits me suddenly. I appreciate you checking on this for me.”