"Say you want me," he urged, withdrawing and holding himself back with such willpower that his whole body trembled from the force of it.
"Ian, I want you," she admitted in a choked voice, squirming to take him back into her.
The gossamer kisses Ian sprinkled across her breasts were like an aphrodesiac to her already inflamed body. He gathered her to him and rolled to his back, holding her firmly on top of him.
Emerada bit her lip and threw back her head when he eased her down onto his arousal.
Their lovemaking became frantic, as it always did. She rode the tide of ecstasy with him, cried out his name, and reached a bone-melting climax with him.
Her energy spent, Emerada collapsed beside him, and his hand moved soothingly up and down her back, while he placed feather-soft kisses on her cheek.
For now, for this moment in time, Emerada felt as if she had sole possession of him-of his mind and body. She had inflamed his desire, and she was his wife.
The other woman was far away, and Ian belonged to her... at least for tonight.
"You amaze me, Emerada," Ian whispered in wonder.
She nestled her head on his shoulder. "In what way?"
"Each time I take you, it's better than before. If I could, I would spend my lifetime in bed with you, making love."
She smiled against his neck. "Even when I am heavy with child?"
She felt him stiffen, and his whole attitude changed at the mention of the baby.
Ian firmly moved her away from him and sat up. "I had forgotten about the baby. Oh, God, how could I?"
She opened her mouth to tell him that the child was his and that he had done no harm to it, but he moved even farther away from her.
"You must think I'm an insensitive beast," Ian said in an impassioned voice. He ran his hand through his hair. "I'm sorry, Emerada. I never meant for this to happen. I promised myself it wouldn't." He dropped his head into his hands. "Can you forgive me?"
She was still feeling the glow of their lovemaking, and his sudden regret was like a dash of cold water in her face. She couldn't find words to answer him.
Her spirits plummeted.
Ian moved off the bed and walked to the window. She watched him as silvery moonlight fell across his naked body.
He swiveled around to face her, and although she couldn't see his expression, she could sense his troubled thoughts. "God forgive me if I have hurt you or the baby..."
She came to her knees, reached out her hand, then let it drop helplessly to her side. "No, Ian, you have not hurt me or the baby."
He took several steps toward her. "I always prided myself on being able to command my own emotions. But when it comes to you, I have no control at all."
"You have nothing to blame yourself for, Ian. I was a willing partner in what happened between us."
He sat down beside her, struggling with what he wanted to say. "It was my fault. I am experienced enough to make you want me, and I did just that. I should never have let it go so far." As if against his will, he reached out and touched her cheek. "I always seem to lose control when I'm near you."
She shook her head, her pride coming to her rescue. "There is no reason for you to torment yourself over me. What happened between us was nothing more than lust. We have talked about this before."
He sucked in his breath. "Yes, I do lust for you." Even now, just being this close to her, he swelled like a sex-starved youth, wanting to crush those lips beneath his and feel the velvet recesses of her body. He tried to ignore his urges and moved away from her. "You are in my blood, and I can't shake you loose."
By now the first glow of the morning sun pierced through the lace curtains, casting a golden pattern on the plank floor. Emerada felt so cold inside. She fought to suppress the trembling in her body. Ian wanted her, all right, but he loathed himself when he gave in to that temptation. This must be what happens when a man lusts without love, she thought sadly, or frequents a whorehouse.
A frown curved Ian's lips and deepened the tired lines about his eyes. "You have such a serious expression on your face. Will you not share your thoughts with me?"
San Antonio was coming to life. Emerada could hear the sound of the street vendors setting up their stalls, and the stagecoach stopping just below their window.
"What should I think, Ian?"
He raised his shoulders in a shrug. "I don't know. You tell me."
She moved out of bed and slipped into her nightgown, which lay crumpled on the floor. "I have some thinking to do. I will let you know when I have reached a decision."
His smile was pleasant enough, but didn't reached his eyes, which were hard and unyielding at that moment. "Any decisions you come to will involve me, Emerada. Don't ask me to let you go." He pulled on his pants and then his shirt. "Not until the baby is born."
"There is no reason for this farce to go on any longer. You have given my baby a name, which is more than could be expected of anyone."
He placed his hands on his hips and glanced upward. "I understand how you feel, but there is no time to talk about this right now. I hate to leave it like this between us, but I have to go to Victoria this morning, and I'll be gone several days. We'll talk about this when I get back."
She nodded her agreement. "You will eat before you leave?"
"Yes, of course, if you'll eat with me."
Ian had dressed in his uniform and was strapping his gun belt about his waist. "If you need anything, let Hank know."
I will. Do not be concerned about me while you are away. Just take care of yourself." Saying good-bye had always been difficult between them, as it was now. "Will you be...is there danger?"
"Not unless Houston loses his temper. Then who knows what could happen. As well you know, he's-"
There was a soft rap on the door, and Ian crossed the room. "Probably Corporal Dooley, reminding me I have tarried too long."
He opened the door and Emerada saw him freeze. In the next moment a woman threw herself into Ian's arms and kissed him soundly on the lips. Ian untangled her arms and held them in a firm grip, looking sheepishly at Emerada, then back to the woman.
"Pauline, what are you doing here?"
Emerada heard the woman speak in a soft Southern drawl. "You wouldn't come to me, so I came to you in this dusty, desolate old Texas that took you away from me."
The woman had a soft beauty, white skin, rosy cheeks, hair the color of wheat; she was slender, dainty, and petite. Emerada had hoped she would never meet this woman, but here she was in the flesh, looking more beautiful than any woman had a right to look.
Ian took Pauline's hand and led her forward to be introduced.
"Emerada," he stammered, "eh, Pauline. This is my-"
Ian was having a difficult time, and the last thing Emerada was going to do was make it easy for him. She stared at the woman he loved, wishing her in hell, or at least back in Virginia.
Pauline Harlandale glanced from Ian to the dark-haired woman. The man downstairs hadn't told her there was a woman in Ian's room. She knew men did this sort of thingher mother had explained to her about mistresses-but she never thought she'd have to face the situation.
Pauline sized up the woman, who was not even properly dressed, but wearing a dressing gown. Pauline blushed and clung to Ian's arm. "I should have written that I was coming, but I wanted to surprise you." She released his arm. "It seems I'm the one surprised," she murmured, backing toward the door.
Pauline had to admit the whore was beautiful, with the darkest hair and eyes she'd ever seen. She glanced up at Ian, who was looking more uncomfortable by the minute. Pauline gave the woman an icy stare. "Ian, perhaps I should wait downstairs until you get rid of this ...creature."
"Wait," Ian said, taking Pauline's arm and leading her back to Emerada. "Pauline, this is my wife, Emerada de la Rosa. Emerada, this is Pauline Harlandale. She's an... er... old friend from Virginia."
Emerada managed to hold her hands steady. "Actually, I am Emerada McCain, Senorita Harlandal
e. It is a pleasure to meet any of my husband's friends."
It took Pauline a moment to recover. She would have accepted the woman if she had been just a mistress-but a wife! Fury tore through her and she clutched her hands tightly.
"Your... wife?"
Ian looked to Emerada for help, but she only gave him a half smile. "Pauline, I had no idea that you would come to Texas. I should have written to you about Emerada."
"It was obviously a mistake for me to come." Her anger was directed at Emerada. "No one told me about her. I'm sure your mother doesn't know; or she would have advised me not to come."
"I have not written her about the marriage." His gaze went to Emerada. "It happened so quickly."
For the first time Pauline noticed the swell of the woman's stomach. "I can see why."
"Pauline," Ian said quickly, almost too quickly, saying the first thing that came into his mind. "Surely you didn't travel to Texas alone?"
"No. My cousin, Sara, came with me. You remember her, Ian-she's my older cousin, who never married. She would have come with me to say hello, but I wanted to see you alone." Pauline looked as if she might cry. "I couldn't wait to see..." Her voice trailed off.
Emerada moved to the window and opened it to allow a breeze to circulate, and because she needed something to occupy her hands. "Why do you not take your... friend to her room, Ian? Perhaps she has not yet had breakfast, and you can see to it for her."
"Oh, yes, Ian," Pauline said eagerly. "Everything is so primitive here." Her glare bore into Emerada as she spoke. "The town, the people, the women."
Ian glanced down at the woman he'd been betrothed to, feeling like the worst kind of cad. Pauline deserved better than he'd given her. Why hadn't he written to let her know he was married?
"I will see you settled, and then I have to leave, Pauline."
Pauline placed a gloved hand on his arm. "Must you leave?"
"I'm afraid so." He glanced at Emerada. "My wife will see to your comfort-won't you, Emerada?"
"I will do whatever I can," she answered, damning Ian in her mind. She wanted to rip that woman's hand off her husbands arm. Didn't Ian see that Pauline was being deliberately vicious? She forced a smile. "I hope you are not of a delicate nature. As you said, Texas is a dusty, desolate place, and the women here are of hardy stock."
Ian frowned. There was friction in the room, and it was between the two women. He was almost glad he had to leave. He led Pauline to the door and spoke to Emerada as he went. "I will see you next week."
Emerada sat down in a chair to consider what had just happened. How could Ian love a woman who was so spiteful? Why did she have to be confined in the same boardinghouse with Pauline Harlandale?
She propped her elbows on her lap and rested her chin on her hands. Ian was to be pitied. He'd done a good deed in marrying her, and now he had to explain everything to the woman he should have married. Would he tell her the whole truth? she wondered.
Emerada sighed. She could have made it easier for him, but she wasn't feeling charitable at the moment, at least not toward the goldenhaired woman with the soft Southern manners and asplike insinuations.
She touched her stomach, loving the baby who nestled there. "It looks like it is going to be just the two of us, little one," she said aloud.
"Your father has done more than anyone could ask of him. He must be free to marry the woman he loves."
She stood up and went to the trunk, removing her prettiest gown. She had to rally her courage. It was up to her to set things right between Ian and Pauline Harlandale.
She owed Ian that much.
Pauline paced the floor, stopping to kick at a hatbox and send a feathered and beribboned bonnet flying across the floor.
"Its insufferable!" she raged. "Ian is mine! He always has been. Everyone knows that!"
Sara Harlandale was of a lesser-known branch of the Virginia Harlandales. She reclined on the bed, fanning herself with a silk fan, watching her cousin's tantrum. "As I recall, you told me that Ian never actually asked you to marry him. It was more that everyone imagined he would one day."
Pauline glared at Sara, who was thirty-three and slender as a rail. Her brown hair was pulled away from her face in a matronly fashion, and she was pale from years of lung sick ness. "What would you know? You have never gotten a marriage proposal, real or imagined."
Sara hid her face behind her fan until she could control her anger. Three weeks of being cooped up with Pauline in a public stagecoach had frayed her nerves beyond endurance. "That's true. But then I'm not a beauty like you, Pauline. In fact, I believe I have heard you refer to me more than once as rather plain. How many proposals had you received at last count-a dozen, fourteen? It seems that every eligible bachelor in the county has asked you to marry him-every one except the one you wanted," she said, glad when she heard Pauline gasp.
"What do you know? You have always lived in my shadow, and you resent me for it."
"You couldn't be more wrong, Pauline. I have kept quiet for years and taken all the abuse that you've thrown at my head, but there seems to be something in this Texas air that helps me find my voice."
She wondered who the woman was who had stolen Ian away from Pauline. He'd been the catch of Lee County, and many a young girl had pined when he'd gone away to military school and then set out for Texas.
"Shouldn't we be making plans to return home?" Sara asked, feeling exhilarated by a rush of newfound independence. "I don't think we are needed here."
"Little you know, you scrawny old maid. And what gives you the right to say these things to me?"
"Yes, it must be something in the Texas air," Sara repeated with a smile. "I guess it fills a person's mind with thoughts of independence."
"You don't know anything. Ian didn't marry that woman out of love. She's having his byblow. He married her out of a sense of honor."
"If it gives you comfort to think so."
Pauline rounded on her cousin. "Why are you talking to me in this insulting manner? If it weren't for my family's charity, you would have no place to live. None of the other relatives would take in a skinny old maid."
"I know. I have heard this same speech every day for the last ten years. Maybe I won't go back with you. Perhaps I will remain here in Texas. It's a new country, bursting at the seams with men, and women are scarce here."
"Not that you would find anyone who'd want you," Pauline taunted.
"And you speak from experience?" Sara was amazed by her own daring, but she couldn't seem to stop. "You came to Texas intending to take Ian home like a trophy on your arm. I'd like to meet the woman who took him away from you-not that he was ever truly yours. I always saw more interest on your side than on his."
"How dare you! After all I've done for you."
Sara moved off the bed. "I have been reborn. Have you noticed that I haven't coughed once since we got here? I haven't even taken my medicine in days. The fresh air must have cured me."
Paulines eyes narrowed. "Never mind about that. I'm going to visit Ian's wife. It's time I found out just how she trapped him into marrying her."
Sara knew just how destructive her cousin could be, so she went to the door to block her path. "You said she was going to have his baby. Don't do anything that might make her lose the child. Leave them alone, Pauline."
Pauline shoved Sara out of the way and wrenched the door open. "I know he couldn't love that woman-she's not like us. She looks foreign, and speaks English with an accent. Ian's mother would never approve of such a wife for her son."
Pauline was out the door and rushing down the hallway before Sara could say anything further.
Sara gathered her shawl about her and went down the stairs. Someone had to help Ian's wife. Perhaps the man who ran the boardinghouse, Mr. Glover, would protect her from Pauline. He seemed a nice enough fellow.
Emerada was packing her trunks. She would ask Hank if he would store them in his back room until she could send for them. She had just buckled the strap on the l
ast trunk when the door handle rattled and someone pushed the door open. She had forgotten to lock it as she'd promised Ian. It didn't matter now anyway. She would be leaving today.
Emerada watched Pauline advance into the room, leaving the door ajar. She straightened so she could give the woman her full attention. "I am glad you are here, Senorita Harlandale," Emerada said. "I wanted to speak to you."
"I'm sure you do." Pauline strolled closer to Emerada. "And for your information, I am not a senorita-you are!"
"No, Miss Harlandale, I am a senora, since I am married to Ian." Emerada didn't like the woman at all, and she couldn't see how Ian could love someone so obviously hateful.
"You stole him from me, you know."
"It was never my intention to-"
"Suppose you just be quiet and listen to what I have to say."
Emerada was trying not to lose her temper, but the woman was testing her. "Will you not be seated?" she asked, biting her lip to keep back the angry retort that begged to be spoken. She must get through this for Ian's sake.
"I'm not staying long enough to get comfortable. I just want to know one thing-how did you lure Ian into marriage?"
"My personal life is my own. I will not discuss my relationship with my husband with you."
Pauline walked around Emerada, looking her over critically. It infuriated her that this dark, mysterious woman was almost too beautiful to be real. "Did Ian ever tell you about us? Did he tell you we were supposed to be married?"
"Si, he did."
"And it made no difference to you that you were taking him away from the woman he loves? He does love me, no matter what he's said to you."
"I am sure he does, Miss Harlandale. Surely you do not need me to confirm what you already know."
Pauline was confused. "Did he tell you he loved me?"
"He is too much a gentleman to say such a thing in my hearing. But if you know him well, you are aware that he is a man of honor."
"Yes, and you took advantage of his honorable creed. What did you do, lure him into your bed and force him to marry you when the damage was done? Or, more probably, Ian gave his name to someone else's brat!"
San Antonio Rose (Historical Romance) Page 21