by Hart, Alana
Lucy
It was the first time I had let any of that stuff out. I could hardly believe my own ears, as everything I'd been holding back for that last few years seemed to just tumble out of me. Oddly, having finally admitted to it all, I felt lighter.
He didn’t seem to be shocked by anything I had said. He had always known me so well and it seemed he still got me better than anyone else ever had, even Alison.
I raised my eyes to look at Cole and instantly remembered our kiss, the one that had made my knees tremble. I bit my lip trying to force myself not to think about it, not right now. I had to hold onto my fury. It was the only thing that had kept me going all these years… and yet, one look at his soft kissable lips was melting my resolve. I wanted him to do it all over again; to touch me, to slip his tongue into my mouth and make those shivers dance like static over my arms again.
“Luce, you have carried all that for all these years. I hated it that you suddenly became my sister too. It sucked having to see your sexy legs everywhere I turned in the house, and the memories of those times I caught you in the shower have been imprinted in my memory ever since, but none of it was like you think it was. Mom and Tom didn’t ever betray your mom. Jo wanted them to get together, wanted them to keep our families together, wanted to make sure that two heartbroken people wouldn’t be lonely. Yes, they did fall in love too – but your mom was pushing them together before she was even gone.”
“Yes, everyone kept trying to tell me when I was sixteen. I remember all the excuses. I know nobody thought I was listening, but seriously, did anyone expect me to believe that crap?” I retorted, angry again.
“My mother would have been mortified to think her husband cared for her so little that he could remarry, and even worse have a child with anyone within a year of her dying. It is sick and twisted, and just too damn convenient to blame the dead woman. No Cole, you won’t get me to forgive them. I think maybe I forgave you a long time ago, but I am not even close to being ready for that.”
He looked at me sadly, and I knew he felt that I meant that this was goodbye.
Our burgers arrived, and we ate in silence.
Every bite was like sawdust, and I almost choked trying to swallow it down. I just wanted to escape and mourn the loss of my best friend all over again. Not only had I lost Cole all for the second time, but my beloved Apollo, the guy who had made me feel so safe, had given me such hope for the future.
I tried not to think about the kiss, that brutal and bruising clinch we had shared in the alleyway. My body so clearly still wanted him, badly, and I tried to banish thoughts of his wanting manhood pressing hard against me away.
I had never felt such a connection with anyone other than Cole, though I didn’t have much to compare it with. I didn’t exactly let anyone get close to me anymore. But just sitting near him there was electricity tingling through every cell of my body, and I wanted him, even now.
He suddenly put his burger down, without having taken a bite. “Lucy, I don’t know if I can just get up and walk away from you when we finish this meal.”
I put my fork down, and took a sip of my root beer. I needed to give myself time to think about what he was saying. I didn’t want to walk away from him either, but I couldn’t see a way we could ever be together. He was still a part of the family I still wanted nothing to do with.
He was still my stepbrother.
“I don’t either, but I can’t ask you to turn your back on your mom. I won’t. It sucks having no family, and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone – but I can’t accept them, not yet, maybe not ever.”
“Would you maybe be able to accept me if I don’t rub it in your face about them, or anything about back home? Could you take just me, no other baggage?”
His eyes pleaded with mine, the deep and melting brown irises so warm and inviting. I didn’t want to say no, but didn’t know if either of us were making any kind of a realistic decision. His family was such a huge part of him, of who he was. His emails and texts had told me that – even if I hadn’t known it about him from all those years of friendship. Could he really be expected to never talk about them with me? Would he even want to?
It was madness and selfish to ask it of him. I shook my head. “Cole, you love them. Steph, Dad, and is it…Morgan? You’ve talked of virtually nothing else in your emails. I don’t think I can ask you to do that, to never mention them around me. It would be unfair and cruel.”
“No, I can do it. I can keep it separate.”
I shook my head again, trying to stop the tears that were threatening to fall all over again from coming as I saw the desperate look in his eyes, pleading with me.
“Seriously Lucy, I can do it. I have more than enough things in my life I can talk about with you. My work, your work, my studies, music, friends. We can do this. I can’t lose you again, I just can’t.”
I wanted to be selfless, and knew it was the right thing to do. I wanted to make him walk away from me and never come back, but I wanted him too badly to let him go. I knew it would only ever end in heartbreak for us both, all over again, but I needed him. I always had. Stepbrother or not, he was the only guy who had ever made my heart flutter and my body react with such fire. I wasn’t strong enough to do what was right.
“You’re sure?” I asked tentatively.
He nodded, and grasped my hand tightly as if he never wanted to let it go. I reached up to cup his cheek. I stroked the soft skin, feeling the slight stubble of his beard and looked for the sweet boy I had known. He was still in there, behind all the sharp masculine lines, but the changes on him looked so much better than any man had a right to look.
“Then I think we should get the check and get out of here, before I let you kiss me again.” I said, trying to make a joke.
He didn’t need asking twice, and within minutes a cab was dropping us off at his apartment. It was tiny, just a combined kitchen and living room, bathroom, and bedroom. It looked a little shabby, but it was clean and tidy. Cole had always been that way. I smiled; glad to see that hadn’t changed. I was the messy one – for all my passion for gorgeous interiors I could turn a clean room into an artistic whirlwind in a matter of minutes.
He had barely shut the door when I flung myself at him. I didn’t want any more talk tonight. I just wanted to lose myself in him, and then take each day minute by minute until the inevitable would happen and it would become too difficult. I would let myself have this night with him; there would be no guilt, no thoughts of anyone else. Just me and him... as it was supposed to be.
* * *
I kissed him fiercely, feeling my body react as soon as I touched him and he touched me. Every bit of me was so hypersensitive, and the lightest caress made me quiver with anticipation. He lifted me up and carried me to his bed, laid me down as if I were the most precious treasure in the world. I reached up and pushed the curtain of shiny nut brown hair out of his eyes as he leaned down to kiss me on my already-parted lips. I arched up toward him and our mouths met, more gently this time. This was a kiss of exploration, not domination, and I welcomed his probing tongue. I sucked on it gently and was delighted by a little groan that escaped his throat.
My hand slipped up his hard torso, pushing up his shirt, eager to see in person the beautiful body he had sent me a picture of. I traced every ridge, licked at his nipples and kissed the firm ridges of his abs once he collapsed beside me.
Feeling oddly empowered, I straddled his body, and slowly undid the buttons on my little black dress. I watched his face, and was rewarded as pure lust flashed across his features as I lifted the hem up and over my head.
Starting with his hands on my waist he traced a heavenly line up toward my bra. He slipped his fingers over the material, cupping my breasts, as my nipples strained against the lace of my black and pink bra. He moved the fabric aside, and teased the nipple, leaning up to take it in his mouth. He sucked gently, the tip of his tongue fluttering around my bud, causing me to moan.
I could feel myself g
etting wetter with his every touch, his every look. My hips strained against his, rubbing at his engorged cock. We both cried out softly from the exquisite torture.
Suddenly he grabbed me by the arms, and rolled me underneath him. He trailed kisses from my lips, down my throat, the cleft between my breasts, moving farther and farther down until he reached the tiny wisp of lace that were my panties. I was almost embarrassed I was so wet for him, but he seemed to delight in having brought me to such a peak of arousal.
“You want me to kiss you there?” he asked, a knowing smile on his face.
I nodded and clutched at the bars of the metal bed frame behind my head as he nibbled and teased at my nipples once more. His hands eased the panties down my legs, and he dipped a finger between my lower lips.
“Oh, god yes.”
“You’re so beautiful, Lucy. And I’m going to show you how much I’ve missed you… and how much I love you.”
His words sent my clit throbbing, not to mention the way he rubbed at it, gently back and forth then circling it lazily. I gasped and felt my hips pushing up to meet his hand. He dipped his fingers lower, and pushed a finger up inside me, still caressing my clit with his thumb. I was on fire with him inside me, but desperately wanted more.
He kissed me deeply, capturing my tongue, suckling at my bottom lip as a rush of lightning deep within my core ignited as he worked his magical fingers, thrusting hard until I quivered all over from my first release. I could feel the walls of my pussy tightening round his fingers, and the wave of pleasure left me feeling all floaty and light. But he wasn’t done with me yet.
He moved to the end of the bed, and pushed my legs wide apart. Gazing for a moment at my exposed center I had the sudden urge to cover myself.
“Don’t you dare,” he warned as if he knew what I was thinking, and then licked his lips. I felt my cheeks redden. The way he looked at me, at my pussy, as if he wanted to devour me… no one had ever looked at me like that before.
Cole lifted up my buttocks slightly and placed a pillow beneath them. He dipped his head and disappeared from view, his hot breath my only way of knowing where he was. And then suddenly he began to taste and lick, nibble and caress.
He focused all his skill on my tender clit and I almost cried out from the sheer pleasure. But I simply couldn’t stop myself from crying out when he plunged his fingers into my pussy while he continued to lavish his attention on my sensitive nub.
“Oh my God, Cole, stop, please I don’t know if I can take anymore!”
He looked up at me, a lascivious look in his eyes.
“Are you sure you want me to stop?” he asked as he kept up the rhythmic thrusts.
“No, yes. Oh I don’t know. I want you inside me Cole, I need you inside me!” I cried.
He was more than happy to oblige me. He ripped off his briefs and grabbed a condom from a drawer by the side of the bed. He slipped it on and moved carefully so the tip of his cock was poised right at the entrance to my pussy.
For a fleeting moment I managed to get a glimpse of his engorged cock, so thick and ready. And then it was gone as he plunged himself inside me, obliterating any coherent thoughts I may have had.
I gasped. I had never felt so full.
He eased in, right up to the hilt and bent to kiss me tenderly, his fingers finding and playing with my nipples at the same time. I raised my legs up around his back as my feet pressed gently against his firm butt, and encouraged him to move within me.
Our eyes held and locked and we gazed at each other as the tension built.
With each slap against my rump, as he pushed into me and I pushed towards him, his cock found its way deeper and deeper inside me with every thrust. He pushed my legs up onto his shoulders and I felt him even deeper within, right at my very core. The friction of his pelvis against mine made me cry out over and over again until I was breathless and at his rhythmic mercy.
“I can’t hold on any longer Lucy,” he rasped throatily, his fingers kneading into the flesh upon my hips.
“I’m nearly there, fuck me harder,” I burst out. He increased the grip he had upon me and picked up speed, thrusting within me, the sound of our panting and our skin slapping together echoing around the room as we moaned with abandon.
“Cole, yes. Oh, fuck…”
I began to feel his penis begin to contract within me, and my own internal muscles began a series of spasms that took me headlong into the most overwhelming orgasm of my life.
Lights sparked across my eyes and I clawed at his back, holding on tight, never wanting the feeling to disappear, as my toes curled and my whole body went rigid.
I loosened my grip, leaving little half-moon shaped indents left in his skin. He withdrew tenderly, then we collapsed back onto the bed. He turned to dispose of the condom quickly, then returned to hold me against his chest.
“I’m never letting you go,” he whispered from behind me.
I nodded and leaned back against him. I finally felt that I was where I belonged, in the arms of the man I loved, the only man I had ever loved.
I knew it wouldn’t last, but I was selfish enough to want to grab what I could get before the real world intruded on us once again. I shivered as I thought of life without him. He gently pulled up the covers, thinking I was cold. I snuggled even tighter into his body, content to lie there in silence until we both drifted off to sleep.
* * *
I woke up in the morning, and had to pinch myself to check if it had all been real. I gazed sleepily around me at Cole’s tidy man cave, and reached out to the other side of the bed. He wasn’t there, but it was still warm. He clearly hadn’t been gone long. I lazed happily, listening to the sound of him puttering around in the room next door.
He appeared with a tray and a grin, dressed in only his suit trousers. True to his word he didn’t mention anything about family, kissed me good morning like he’d been doing it for years, and pulled on a freshly ironed shirt.
“God, you look so hot in my bed,” he groaned, “I don’t want to go, but I have to get to work. I promise I will call you later, and I want to see you tonight. I have to see you again tonight, no questions asked.”
I shuffled my butt up the bed, bringing the covers to my chest as I watched him get dressed. It felt good to be wanted, to be needed. And most of all to have him back in my life.
“And what if I was busy washing my hair?” I teased.
“In that case,” he said as he stopped wrapping his tie around his neck and stalked back over to the bed, leaning down close so that I could feel his breath on my neck, “I’m just going to have to lock you up, won’t I?”
I shuddered as a thousand tingles tap-danced all over my bare skin. I’d willingly stay chained to his bed if he continued to talk to me like that, I thought.
“Well, how about I cook you dinner here tonight? You can keep an eye on me as much as you want then,” I proposed as he took my breath away and kissed me thoroughly. His lips left mine and I felt a sudden loss; if only we could stay in bed forever and forget about the whole world, shut it all out and catch upon the years we'd lost by being apart.
“Sounds perfect.” He slipped his hand under the covers to find my own, grazing my naked wanting flesh as he went, then placed a cool metal object into my palm. “So you can lock up after you, and so you can be here whenever you want.”
I grinned while holding on tight to the key. I knew, in the normal world, him giving me the key to his apartment, after just one night, would send most women screaming in the other direction. But this was not just any guy; this was Cole. It felt like we were making up for lost time. All those years we could’ve had together, I thought wistfully, and it was my fault. The ball of guilt trying to hide in the pit of my stomach told me so.
“Luce, you okay?”
“I’m fine,” I replied as I told myself to stop lingering on the past. “Go do some good. I’ll be here waiting for you, later.”
“Okay, then. I‘ll see you tonight… I already miss yo
u,” he said as he reluctantly tore himself from my arms and headed out of the door.
I stretched languorously then drank the tea and ate the toast he’d brought me, slathered in peanut butter just the way I liked it. I looked around. I hadn’t had much time to really take in my surroundings the night before. There had been much more pressing things on my mind. The apartment was cozy, and he had done the best he could with it. I wondered if Steph had given him a hand picking out things, but then scolded myself for breaking my own taboos. Don’t think about them…
I got up, and showered slowly. The water was warm, and my much loved body felt a little sore in places, but each little twinge brought back a perfect memory. I got dressed and towel dried my hair quickly and was just on my way out back home, locking Cole’s door, when my phone rang.
“Hello?”
“Hi, is that Lucy Rivers?” a smooth voice with a hint of Californian twang asked politely.
“Yes, yes it is. How can I help you?”
I didn’t know anyone from California, and I just prayed it wasn’t someone collecting for my credit card debts. I was a little late in making the payments, but with my windfall it was on my to-do list at the bank this morning.
“Well, a friend of mine told me that you are an incredible interior designer, and I have an entire office building that is in desperate need of some tender loving care. Would you be able to give me a quote on a few rooms - maybe today if you aren’t busy?”
“Sure, um, of course.” My mind was in overdrive, preoccupied, as I nearly bumped into a pedestrian on the street outside Cole’s place. The Trents certainly hadn’t wasted any time in telling their friends I was available. I sent up a little prayer of thanks to them. “Sorry, where are you?”
“I run Glitch, we’re at the Exchange. You know the big old Victorian block?”
Oh my god! Keep calm and don’t say anything stupid!
“Yes! I do! It has been my dream to renovate that place since I moved here. I have been trying to get a meeting with the owners since you bought it!” I said breathlessly. I slammed my eyes shut in regret, I was being too eager, and at this rate I was going to drive her away, I thought. Thankfully my worries were soon soothed.