The Widow and the Rock Star

by J. Thomas-Like

“That’s okay. I like doofuses.” He reached behind me for the TV remote resting on the coffee table. “What do you say we watch a movie now? Lighten the mood?”

  We cuddled together on the couch while he brought up the movie menu on the TV. “What’s your pleasure? Drama? Action/adventure? Romance? Classic black and white?”

  “Fight Club!” I shouted, pointing at the screen. “I love that movie!”

  “Well, it’s not exactly a lighthearted flick, but it’s one of my favorites, too,” Will agreed.

  As the movie ended, I felt myself getting sleepy. I closed my eyes and nestled closer to Will, leaning my head on his shoulder. From far away, I thought I heard Bruce Springsteen’s voice singing. After a few seconds, I recognized my phone ringing and jumped up. I banged my knees on the coffee table. “Shit!”

  “What’s wrong?” Will’s eyes shot open. He had been dozing too.

  “That’s my phone. I’m sorry!” I moved around the edge of the table and strode toward the living room to find my bag. As I reached inside, it stopped ringing and the screen went black. I palmed the device and swiped my thumb to the right, bringing it back to life. The missed call was from Jake. I saw the time was 10:30 p.m. and thought it was way too late for a call from my agent. Given the circumstances, I thought it important to call him back. There might be news about Tony. He picked up on the first ring.

  “Good news, kiddo!” he shouted, probably knowing it was me from the caller ID. I could hear loud music and many voices in the background.

  “Where are you?”

  “I’m at a club with another client, but I just got a call from the police. They got him!”

  “What?” I broke out in a cold sweat.

  “Tony was apprehended about an hour ago trying to fly out of Amsterdam.”

  “YES!” I pumped my fist in the air. “What happens next?”

  “They’ll process him over there and then shuttle his ass back on the first flight available. He will be met by representatives of the Los Angeles Police Department.” Jake cackled—I think he’d had one too many cocktails.

  “That is the best news I’ve heard all night!” I wiggled my hips and did a little dance.

  “Oh no, it’s not!” Jake crowed. “The best news is they found the money! Not all of it, but about ninety percent!”

  I screamed with joy, causing Will to rush into the room, a look of stark terror on his face. He could tell I was happy about something, so he just smiled at me and leaned against the door frame, waiting for me to get off the phone.

  No curse word or euphemism would do, I simply screeched out my happiness as if I’d just been told I won the lottery. In a manner of speaking, I had. No longer would I be burdened with three-quarters of a million dollar debt or the pressure to produce in order to repay it. I couldn’t remember having felt so good in… well, ever.

  “Jake, thank you so much for calling!”

  “You got it, kid. I’m going to have a whole new round of appearances and interviews for you to do now.”

  “Hah! Go celebrate and we’ll talk about that later.”

  I ended the call and crumpled to the floor, overwhelmed by the adrenaline dump. My arms and legs felt like Jell-O.

  “Well?” Will held up his hands in front of him. “Don’t leave me on tender hooks! What’s going on?”

  “Tony’s in custody and they found the money!” I squealed, jumping back up to my feet with a renewed sense of energy.

  “Fuckin’ A!” He crossed the room to sweep me up and swing me around as we both whooped with joy.

  “I have to call Pepper!” Will released me and I grabbed my phone from where it had landed on the floor. I tapped her speed dial icon. When I got her voicemail, I was a bit perturbed, but then remembered she was probably still on her date.

  I shouldn’t be the only one to get lucky, I thought cheekily. Grinning until I thought my face would split, I left her a breathless voicemail and told her to call me at her first opportunity, knowing full well it might not be until tomorrow.

  “Now I need to call my mom!”

  “It’s 1:30 a.m.,” Will reminded me.

  “Doesn’t matter,” I whispered. I’d already dialed and it was ringing. “If I didn’t call her right away, she’d kill— Hi Mom!”

  Mom was scared to death something was wrong because it was so late. It took a good five minutes for her to wake up somewhat and comprehend that nothing bad had happened, and that I was okay.

  Will watched me talk and I had a difficult time keeping my focus on the conversation. As Mom rapid-fired questions, I answered just as fast. Movement caught my eye and I noticed Will taking off his tee-shirt.

  “I’m sorry, Mom, what did you say?” I couldn’t look away.

  Will unbuttoned his jeans and slowly pulled the zipper down.

  “N-no, I’m not sure when I’ll be home.”

  He took a step toward me and eased his pants a little lower on his naked hips.

  “Yes, I’m fine. I-it’s late, Mom. I should let you get back to sleep.”

  Will pushed a little harder and I caught a glimpse of dark, curly hair before I quickly pivoted away.

  “Oh, I’m grateful they found any of the money. But it’s awesome to know they got most of it.” I gasped when I heard the denim hit the floor.

  “I’m fine, just got a shock when I touched the metal lamp next to the bed.” I only just managed to stifle a hiss of breath when I felt Will press up against me and his lips land on my neck.

  “O-okay, Mom. You get back to sleep. I’ll call you again tomorrow when I know more.” I was barely able to hang up the phone when I felt Will’s hands reach around to my midsection.

  “You’re bad,” I panted.

  “Yes, I am.”

  Chapter 42

  Having no idea of what was up with Vivienne, Pepper slipped her key into her apartment door and opened it nervously. She prayed Gabriel would not be shocked or offended at its simplicity. She turned to allow him in, surprised when he grabbed her and pulled her close for a passionate kiss.

  Not surprised enough, Pepper dropped her keys and purse and wrapped her arms around Gabriel’s neck, returning the kiss with just as much intensity. They remained locked in the embrace for several minutes before Pepper finally had to come up for air.

  “Wow!” She felt breathless and lightheaded with arousal. Gabriel grinned, squeezing her closer, trying to move in for another kiss.

  “Wait,” Pepper laughed. She extricated herself from his arms and shut the apartment door, throwing the deadbolt. “No need to give the neighbors a show, for cryin’ out loud.”

  “I suppose not.” Gabriel grinned, but the moment seemed stalled. “I apologize, dear. Having stared at you all evening, I couldn’t help myself. I was overcome.”

  Pepper stepped back next to him, putting her arms around his waist and smiled.

  “You have nothing to apologize for. This may only be date number two, but since both of them have been multiple hours long, I think we’re probably more on number four or five at this point.”

  Gabriel put his hands on her elbows and rubbed, while pressing his forehead against hers. His blue eyes sparkled and a smile so genuine spread over his face that Pepper was overcome with a warm sensation, making her heart beat faster.

  “I have so enjoyed spending time with you, Pepper.”

  “It’s been fun!” She nodded her head against his. “I can’t remember the last time I had this much fun with a man.”

  Pulling away from her, Gabriel took her hand and led her to the couch to sit down. When she tried to sit a respectable distance away, he pulled her by the waist until she was pressed up against him. Pepper wondered if he planned it that way so he wouldn’t have to face her as he spoke.

  “I have never been comfortable with women my entire life, but our two dates have given me the ability to be as close to myself as possible. There’s something about you that inspires me not to hide.”

  Pepper was honored by his admission, but
was still too afraid to make any of her own. She wasn’t prepared to tell him about her past experiences with love and how awful they’d been. The alcoholic abuser who had put her in the hospital for a month, causing her to almost end up living out of her car when she couldn’t get work because of the bruises and scars to her face. The pedophile who’d been hauled off to jail for preying on preteen girls in the apartment complex where they lived. It had taken a fair amount of bribing to keep her name out of the papers on that one, otherwise her entire career and life would have been destroyed. The long line of jobless, aimless, pretty bums who claimed they were going to make it big and take care of her for the rest of her life, while she was the one out earning the paycheck and paying the bills. What would Gabriel think of her, knowing how poorly she had chosen up to that point? Instead of revealing any of her shame, she encouraged and praised him for his disclosure.

  “I’m so glad you feel comfortable with me,” Pepper said as she rested her cheek against his chest. “I don’t know why you’re so worried. You’re funny and charming and intelligent. I’ve probably learned more from you in our time together than I would have learned if I went to college.”

  Gabriel chuckled and squeezed her, making her giggle too.

  “I rather doubt that. You aren’t like the other women I’ve come into contact with. You’re absolutely gorgeous. You never judge me or anyone else that I’ve noticed. And it seems as though you are always attempting to make others feel at ease, never once thinking of yourself.”

  Pepper’s eyebrows raised as she considered how Gabriel viewed her. It certainly wasn’t the way she saw herself.

  I’m the loud, crazy one, she thought. Always looking for attention.

  “I don’t think of you as loud or crazy or seeking attention. You’re vivacious and happy and interesting.”

  Pepper gasped, sitting up to look at him in shock. “I swear, I was just thinking that. Freaky!”

  Laughing, he stroked her head. “I don’t think you’re that difficult to understand.”

  Pepper wanted to kick herself in the ass when she felt tears threaten to fill her eyes. No one but Vivienne had said anything so kind to her and actually meant it. Sure, the idiots she’d been with all her life had spewed flowery sentiments all the time, but Pepper had known they meant none of it. Gabriel’s words were true and honest, coming directly from his heart.

  “Thank you,” she whispered. She kissed him then, softly and gently.

  *****

  Pepper breezed into Starbucks, looking as gorgeous as ever, full of energy and with a gleam in her eye. She squinted and scanned around until she saw Vivienne sitting by the windows, staring out into the hot California sunshine. Uh-oh, she looks like she’s been thinking too much.

  Earlier that morning, after seeing Gabriel off, Pepper had finally gotten around to checking her phone to see the missed call and numerous texts from Viv. Feeling guilty, she had texted back immediately saying she was okay and glad about Tony. A response came back within a minute asking her to meet at the coffee shop a block from the hotel to talk. Agreeing, Pepper had gotten ready and headed over.

  “So how’s my almost-millionaire writer bestie?” she bubbled, taking a seat across from Vivienne.

  Vivienne laughed.

  “I’m great. Obviously, very relieved and elated that I no longer have to worry about paying back all that money.”

  “I bet!” Pepper reached into her pocket to pull out some bills. “I’m going to get my coffee. You need anything?”

  “Nope, I’m all set.” Vivienne tapped the venti cup on the table.

  When Pepper returned, she carried an iced coffee and two blueberry muffins.

  “Here. You look like you need a nosh.”

  “Where have you been?” Vivienne demanded, ignoring the food.

  Pepper gave a wicked smile and shook her head.

  “Not tellin’. Not yet, anyway.”

  “But—”

  “No buts. I’ll give you all the details when I’m ready. Suffice it to say, I’ve spent some time with a very nice man and I’m worried about jinxing it by talking about him too soon.”

  Vivienne held up her hands in defeat.

  “Fair enough.”

  “What about you? What’s all the news?”

  Vivienne’s shoulders tensed and her toe began to bounce.

  “Well, I’m thinking about staying in California a little longer.”

  Pepper’s eyes nearly bugged out of her head.

  “What?!”

  “Calm down!” Vivienne snorted. “I’m only thinking about it.”

  “Why the change of heart?”

  Vivienne paused to take a sip of her latte.

  “I can’t really give you a defining moment. But I keep wondering to myself about things.”

  “Like what?”

  “Well, what it would be like to wake up beside someone every day. How it would feel to go to the beach every day. How nice it would be to see you all the time instead of once every two decades.”

  Pepper laughed and grabbed Vivienne’s hand, squeezing tightly.

  “Those are wonderful things to wonder about.”

  “I’m scared, though.”

  Pepper nodded slowly.

  “I know you are.”

  “Things are happening way too fast.”

  “With Will?”

  “With everything!” Vivienne threw her hands up in exasperation. “Ever since I published the book, it seems like life has gone crazy. First with Sunny Pen snatching it up and all the publicity over that. Then starting the foundation and traveling around all over the place trying to get money. Just when I thought things had finally calmed down and I could go back to my quiet existence, Tony pulls his shit.”

  Pepper tried not to roll her eyes and snicker.

  “That’s life, hun. You’ve just managed to avoid living a real one since Bruce died.”

  Vivienne sighed.

  “Just because I chose a path less flamboyant than yours, doesn’t mean it’s less valid.”

  “Touché.” Pepper took another long sip from her straw. “But you can’t avoid the fact that things have changed.”

  “No. That’s why I’ve been thinking about it so much.” Vivienne wrung her hands in frustration. “But I’m afraid I’ll take on too much all at once. I’m not used to having to switch gears like this.”

  “Well, one thing at a time, then. Stay just a few weeks and camp out with me.” Pepper grinned, bobbing her head up and down, thinking it the perfect solution.

  “I could. But I would still have to figure out a way to write. Figure out what to do with the foundation. Figure out a way to keep Jake from taking over my whole life.” Vivienne stopped and looked away.

  “Figure out a way to deal with Will,” Pepper said for her.

  “There is that,” Vivienne admitted, chewing on her bottom lip. “I think that would have to be the first thing on the list if I decided to stay.”

  “Why do you have to ‘deal’ with it at all? Why not just let things happen naturally?” Pepper was beginning to get frustrated with how complicated Vivienne was making things out to be.

  “Because it’s scary, Pep. Let’s face facts here,” she held up her right hand, closing each finger as she ticked things off. “If I stay, I’m staying because of Will and you, not because of any other reason. If I admit that, then I have to admit Will means more to me than is reasonable for having known him less than a week. If it doesn’t work out with him, I’m crushed emotionally and will probably resort to old habits and run home to Michigan. If you think I’ve been a hermit the last seventeen years, can you imagine what I’d do with the next seventeen?”

  Pepper chuckled as she listened to Vivienne come up with excuse after excuse. When she couldn’t take any more, she shushed her friend.

  “Look, enough is enough. I know you’re afraid, but you have to take a chance somewhere, sometime. If love isn’t a good enough risk to bet on, what will be?”

  “I
’m not in love with him!” Vivienne’s look was horrified.

  Are you sure about that? Pepper replied silently. She decided not to push the issue. Getting her to stay, period, is the goal.

  “I’m also worried that I won’t be able to write if I stay out here. Between you and Will and what the two of you would cook up, I’ll probably never get a thing done.”

  “Bah, you’re making more excuses.”

  “No I’m not,” Vivienne insisted. “I’m trying to be honest with myself and you. I’m a pretty screwed up person in a lot of ways and it’s not fair to lay waste to our friendship or whatever is developing with Will just because I can’t figure shit out.”

  Pepper sighed.

  “What am I going to do with you? Do you want me to tell you to go home? Give up? Walk away? Fine. Go. But don’t blame me when you become a crazy cat lady.”

  Chapter 43

  Pepper just didn’t get it. I was trying to explain to her what I was feeling, but she just glossed over all of it like it was no big deal. Why couldn’t she see how monumental a decision this was for me? Well, that was unfair. She’d never been widowed. How could I possibly expect her to understand what it would be like to lose a husband and then mourn for seventeen years?

  “What if I stay out here and try to follow this thing with Will. What if it doesn’t end up working out because of me or my issues?” I asked her. I squirmed in my seat, hating how weak I sounded.

  “He’s a big boy. He can handle it.”

  “No, that just makes him collateral damage because I’m an idiot. I would never want that to happen.”

  “Of course you wouldn’t,” Pepper agreed. She gave me a sympathetic look. “But it’s not going to happen.”

  “How can you be so sure?” I dared her. “I’ve got a lot of baggage to deal with. I don’t think it’s fair to ask him to wait around while I deal with it. And it’s definitely not fair to be involved with him while I deal with it.”

  Pepper sat back and her brows knitted while she thought. Maybe now she was finally seeing things from my point of view.

  “It would seem to me,” she began, “that it’s all about balance. And boundaries. If you’re up front and honest with Will about things, he should be the one to decide whether or not he wants to hang with you.”