Leif shuddered. “I still can’t believe I did that.”
“It’s fine. You had the Idiot Ball. I saw it.”
“That just makes it more embarrassing,” he answered. “What other things?”
“Being fed up with manipulation on all sides, for one. Zeus, Hermes, even Thalia and Apollo, though I don’t really blame them as much. That anti-betrayal safeguard Zeus threw in, like he couldn’t even trust us—”
“Well, he couldn’t,” Leif pointed out. “Frankly it wasn’t a bad idea.”
“Doesn’t mean it didn’t get on my nerves. Plus, Jason’s last request was that I try to get rid of the monsters.”
“I’d have figured it’d be, ‘Bury me at Make-Out Creek’ or something. So that part was just for him?”
“No, not just for him. Did I ever tell you what I learned on the way to Hades? That the gods themselves sent the monsters into the world just for the fun of it?”
“Um, no, I think I missed you mentioning that one. You know you made a living off of that, right?” he asked meekly. “Er, not to judge or anything.”
She smirked at the addition. “I always thought it was a side effect. You get gods, you get monsters. Tornado-chasers aren’t happy about the tornado’s damage, but they’re a force of nature; no one’s responsible for them.”
Leif considered pointing out that it depended on who you asked lately but, to his credit, actually kept his mouth shut.
“I didn’t think I cared that much when I first heard they created the monsters—too much on my plate, maybe. But I think it bothered me more than I realized at first. Dionysus tossing minotaurs at people, hydras loosed to wander around probably just to see how long it takes us to deal with them . . .” She shrugged. “I just saw the opportunity to really do something good for the world, and it seemed like that demanding that things go back to the way they were was the way to do it. The new Olympian world order was interesting, but I’d had enough. Oh, plus I think Zeus killed my grandparents.”
Leif nearly choked. “What?”
Tracy blinked thoughtfully back at him. “It tracks. I never knew them, but they disowned my mom after she got pregnant from a one- night stand. Up and booted her out of the house. A few weeks later, they died in a lightning storm.”
“Dick move on Zeus’s part.”
“On everyone’s part, I figure, but yeah. If he did it. I should probably call my mom and tell her about everything. Ten-to-one she’ll complain about me giving up his genes before she gets mad at him, though.”
“I still can’t believe you did that—or figure out how ‘giving up genes’ even works. And anyway, no one says basketball players are any less talented for being naturally tall.”
“I thought you didn’t watch basketball?”
Leif shrugged.
“Billions of people get by with regular human genes. I can too.”
“Not going to try to take even an ounce of advantage of it.” Leif shook his head. “You at least ought to use your career connections, star in your own reality series. ‘Zeus’s Daughter Does . . . Stuff.’”
“Nope. I stay behind the camera. Why don’t you do it?”
“A reality show?” Leif laughed. “No way. Though we should at least sell the story.”
“How about this: you sell yours; I’ll manage you.”
Leif grinned. “A partnership?”
“Of a sort. We’ll have to figure out a strategy.”
“Deal.” Leif grinned wider. “We’ll go out tonight to celebrate.”
She chuckled. “I told you: no dating.”
Leif pouted. In his defense, he was only half-serious. “Oh, come on, you’re supposed to finally fall for my charms at the end.”
“The end of what?”
“The end of the thing! You know, the whole . . .” Leif waved his glass about, searching for the word. “Adventure!”
“But this isn’t the end. We’re going to do this project together, right? Heck, we haven’t even finished lunch.” Tracy smirked. “Or do you mean the end of our association? I fall for these charms of yours and never see you again? Want me to leave right now?” she teased.
“You need to watch more movies.”
“Don’t try to change me, Karlson.”
“Hey, that’s another thing people do at the end of things,” Leif added. “They change somehow so . . .”
“I told you this wasn’t an end,” she said.
“Yeah, well.”
“Ooh, good comeback.”
Searching for a better one, Leif glanced out the window at someone busily painting over a mural of the Olympians with an ad for the latest smartphone. Poseidon’s face, half covered already, stared blankly out at them with his single remaining eye.
“Hey, whatever happened to Dave and the doctor, anyway?” Leif asked suddenly.
“Geez!” Tracy smacked her forehead. “I have to call them back!”
They’re still fine, by the way.
The End
"MYTHOLOGICAL" WHO'S WHO
For the uninitiated, the forgetful, or those who just like to read stuff
Alecto—One of the three Erinyes. Also known as "Alecto the Unceasing."
Aphrodite—Daughter of Zeus. Goddess of beauty, love, lust, and much of the entertainment industry.
Apollo—Son of Zeus and the minor goddess Leto. God of the sun as well as medicine and healing. Also music, poetry, prophecy, and light. Plus archery, gelatin desserts, and a few other things. Nicknamed "the multipurpose god" by his twin sister Artemis.
Ares—Son of Zeus and Hera. God of war and strife. Involved in a millennia-long affair with Aphrodite. Shoots first, asks questions only if drunk.
Artemis—Daughter of Zeus and Leto, twin sister to Apollo. Goddess of the moon, hunting, and nature. One of the last chaste goddesses.
Athena—Daughter and former bodyguard of Zeus. Goddess of wisdom, defense, and tactics.
Atropos—One of the three Fates. Responsible for cutting the threads of mortal lives.
Calliope—Leader of the nine Muses. Responsible for inspiring epic poetry and fantasy novels.
Cerberus—Fearsome, three-headed dog-beast who guards the entrance to the Underworld. Music aficionado.
Charon—Lesser immortal in charge of the ferry across the river Acheron to the Underworld.
Clio—One of the nine Muses. Responsible for inspiring histories, historical fiction, and travel writing.
Clotho—One of the three Fates. Responsible for spinning the threads of mortal lives.
Demeter—Oldest sister of Zeus. Goddess of agriculture, grain, and textiles. Also enjoys baking and knitting.
Dionysus—Debaucherous god of wine and revelry. Son of Zeus and a mortal woman, but elevated to full godhood by Zeus via "a bit of star-stuff and some really good fudge."
Elvis—Not actually a god. Sorry.
Erato—One of the nine Muses. Responsible for inspiring romance, erotica, love songs, and crossword puzzles.
Erinyes, The—A trio of lesser immortals (consisting of Alecto, Megaera, and Tisiphone) responsible for wreaking vengeance and protecting the natural order. Not usually welcome at parties.
Euterpe—One of the nine Muses. Responsible for inspiring music, lyric poetry, television theme songs, and movie scores.
Fates, The—A mysterious trio of figures (Clotho, Lachesis, and Atropos) who spin, measure, and cut the threads of mortal lives. Also known as The Moirae.
Hades—Older brother of Zeus. God of the Underworld a.k.a. Hades (he named it after himself), death, and precious metals. Not evil, just strict.
Hecate—Goddess of the night, magic, and the supernatural. Also known as "Queen of Secrets" and "Queen of All Witches." Adopted member of the pantheon. Reported to make a fantastic dark chocolate sundae.
Hephaestus—Son of Zeus and Hera. Gentle god of the forge, building, volcanoes, and technology. Married to Aphrodite. Also known by his Roman name of Vulcan. Star Trek fan.
Hera—Queen of the gods
, sister and former wife of Zeus, and married to her brother Poseidon following Zeus’ murder. (It's okay, they're gods.) Goddess of marriage, women, and childbirth. Loves pomegranates.
Hermes—Mischievous son of Zeus and an immortal mountain nymph. God of merchants, thieves, travelers, messengers, and spies. Has a British accent due to extensive time spent in Britain during his formative years.
Hestia—Sister of Zeus. Goddess of the home and hearth. Doesn't get out much. Doesn't want to, either.
Lachesis—One of the three Fates. Responsible for measuring the threads of mortal lives.
Leto—A minor goddess. So minor she's not even mentioned in this book by name. Except here, but that doesn't count. Also mother of Apollo and Artemis, so at least she's got that going for her.
Megaera—One of the three Erinyes. Handles most of their paperwork and hotel reservations.
Melpomene—One of the nine Muses. Responsible for inspiring tragedy, horror, and children's books.
Muses, The—A group of nine lesser immortals, led by Calliope, who collectively inspire the creative and scientific arts. Assistants to Apollo.
Polymnia—One of the nine Muses. Responsible for inspiring sacred songs, speeches, and lyrics. Also rhetoric and advertising copy.
Poseidon—Brother of Zeus, elected king of the gods and married to Hera following Zeus' murder. Also god of the sea, earthquakes, and horses. Inventor of the motorcycle.
Terpsichore—One of the nine Muses. Responsible for inspiring choral song and dance, business correspondence, mysteries, and thrillers.
Thalia—One of the nine Muses. Responsible for inspiring comedy, science fiction, and poems about farming.
Tisiphone—One of the three Erinyes. Not a good speller.
Titans, The—Ancestors of the Olympian gods, deposed by Zeus after the Titan War. Nine of the most dangerous Titans became trapped in the Underworld prison of Tartarus. Their leader is Cronus, father of Zeus and his siblings.
Urania—One of the nine Muses. Responsible for inspiring astronomy writings, calendar photos, and sayings on coffee cups.
Zeus—Son of the Titan leader Cronus. Youngest and strongest brother of Demeter, Hades, Hera, Hestia, and Poseidon. King of the gods as well as god of the sky, lightning, and law until his assassination at the end of Chapter One.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
An award-winning writer of speculative fiction, Michael G. Munz was born in Pennsylvania but moved to Washington State in 1977 at the age of three. Unable to escape the state's gravity, he has spent most of his life there and studied writing at the University of Washington.
Michael developed his creative bug in college, writing and filming four exceedingly amateur films before setting his sights on becoming a novelist. Driving this goal is the desire to tell entertaining stories that give to others the same pleasure as other writers have given to him. He enjoys writing tales that combine the modern world with the futuristic or fantastic.
Michael has traveled to three continents and has an interest in Celtic and Classical mythology. He also possesses what most “normal” people would likely deem far too much familiarity with a wide range of geek culture, though Michael prefers the term geek-bard: a jack of all geek- trades, but master of none—except possibly Farscape and Twin Peaks.
Michael dwells in Seattle where he continues his quest to write the most entertaining novel known to humankind and find a really fantastic clam linguini.
Connect with Michael online:
Website: www.michaelgmunz.com
Twitter: @TheWriteMunz
Facebook: www.facebook.com/MichaelGMunz
Want to read a trio of “prequel” short stories for Zeus Is Dead? Sign up for the email list on Michael’s website and get a free e-copy of Mythed Connections: A Short Story of Classical Myth in the Modern World!
~~~
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Thank you!
Maybe next time you’ll learn not to antagonize a badger, huh?
Good luck with that.
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