“We have a chance, you and I, a chance not many people have. We can do things, big things. It’s terrifying to know the fate of so many hangs in the balance, but doesn’t it also make you feel…in awe? Doesn’t it make you want to be a better person, overcome your own limitations?”
“What if I fail?” He looked at her again.
“I understand that fear. I worry about failure every day, but I try not to let it cripple me. Besides, had Tanvir been the first born, do you think he’d never have made mistakes? Either you overestimate him or underestimate yourself.”
“Maybe,” he said grudgingly.
“I’ll help you, Dev. And you can help me. Just like we’ve always done.”
“Promise?” he asked, his throat tightening.
“Promise,” she said, holding her hand out to him. He took it and they sat for a long while, just holding hands and looking at the stars. Her hand felt like a lifeline and he clung to it, trusting her to be his anchor.
Chapter 20
Jess didn’t have a chance to speak to Tanvir before dinner, which featured yet more wine and entertainment. Nishana, Adar, and Tanvir were all starting to show signs of strain. The king and queen still maintained the façades of the perfect hosts, but Jess could see a growing impatience in their eyes. She wondered if they, like her, suspected Beland was taking advantage of their show of good will, indulging himself as they plied him with fine wine and exquisite food while he strung them along.
Would I be so eager to jump into a conflict if it weren’t for the fact that Dev was taken?
The honest answer was no. Here, where they were enjoying the beauty and bounty that Rillas had to offer, it was difficult to believe that a storm was brewing. Jess had seen inaction before, knew that indifference often hid a great anxiety. It was usually easier to pretend as though nothing was wrong than it was to face problems. Dev’s disappearance was Jess’s drama, and she was caught up in it, so it made it difficult for her to maintain perspective. But watching Beland engage with Mahlia, thinking of the conversation she’d shared with the Deshiran queen, made Jess realize that they were caught up in their own dramas which, naturally, seemed more immediate to them than anything about which the Lyranians and Estorians were fretting.
The realization worried Jess, made her feel on the edge of despair. If she couldn’t hope to persuade them, what could she do? It was difficult to believe that Ellaria’s forces could possibly match the combined might of Estoria and Lyrane, but Jess didn’t want to be overconfident. Ellaria had already surprised them once, and Jess wasn’t eager to do anything that might help Ellaria gain the upper hand a second time.
“It has been a productive year in Corland,” Beland said, his voice penetrating Jess’s gloomy thoughts. He spoke to Tanvir, who was seated to his right. Jess was on his left, between Beland and Toran, and Jess was relieved that Toran didn’t seem to notice that she was poor company. He was content to scowl at his plate and scream the occasional abuse at the entertainers. More of his food splattered their costumes than had made it into his twisted little mouth, and Jess had to refrain from taking it upon herself to show him some proper discipline. Such behavior would never have been tolerated of Jess, princess or not.
“I’m glad to hear it,” Tanvir said, his voice pleasant, his face a picture of polite interest. Still, years of being around him had taught Jess how to spot his tells, and she could see from the way he gripped his knife just a little too tightly that Tanvir didn’t feel much more incentive to be a gracious companion than she did.
“It hasn’t been easy, what with the trade restrictions.”
“I can imagine,” Tanvir said, sounding sympathetic. The fierce gleam in his eye escaped Beland’s notice. “But as your brother, the good King Rylan—gods rest his soul, agreed with my father, it is important to be sure that a sudden influx of goods doesn’t drive down the overall value of the market. Let’s not forget the straits that caused the people of both Estoria and Corland when last it happened.”
“Oh, we wouldn’t want that. Of course not. But there may be room to open the lines of trade a bit more, make it more beneficial for both our Realms. I’m hoping His Majesty, King Omar, might also see the advantages to such arrangements.”
Her attention now fully focused on the conversation between the two men, Jess tried to read between the lines of what Beland was saying. He’d been petitioning her father to loosen restrictions, much to her father’s annoyance, but she hadn’t paid much attention. Though Beland smiled pleasantly at Tanvir, his eyes floated over to Mahlia, who sat on Omar’s left, laughing at a joke with him. His mouth tightened ever so slightly, and Jess knew he was worried that Mahlia had ingratiated herself with the Lyranian king.
“It’s worth considering,” Tanvir said.
Beland’s displeasure with this noncommittal response was obvious. “Shame on me, discussing trade when we should be enjoying this generous feast with which your lady mother and lord father have provided us.”
“These are the worst jesters I’ve ever seen,” Toran said, his face sulky. “I suppose I should have expected no less in such a place as this.”
Beland laughed as if his nephew had just made the wittiest joke he’d ever heard. “Yes, I suppose Estorian humor is rather different from Corlandian humor. Just give it time, my lad. You’ll learn to appreciate its subtleties.”
Tanvir looked as if he wanted to teach Toran something, and he gave the boy the frostiest smile Jess had ever seen on his face. “Would you prefer I send the jesters away and call the minstrels closer, Your Majesty?”
“The minstrels bore me as well. Imagine, ballads about olive groves! As if anyone would be interested in such a thing! At least the minstrels in Lyrane know how to make music.” Toran grinned at Jess as if they were in on the joke together.
“The ballad about the groves is quite interesting when one delves into the deeper meaning,” Jess said, wishing she could lock Toran in the dungeon and throw away the key.
“Ah yes, well, such double meaning is a bit difficult to discern when one is ten. A boy of ten wants only to hear ballads about knights and feats of glory, isn’t that so, my lad?” Beland asked, his smile indulgent.
“I am your king! Do not speak to me as if I’m a foolish child!” Toran shouted, his voice shrill. Even in the noise of the great hall it carried, and Jess saw people looking their way, including Mahlia, who caught Jess’s eye and smirked. Jess felt a new sympathy for Mahlia’s unwillingness to make a match that would tie her to the royal family of Corland. Given the boy’s capricious nature, it was wise of Mahlia to seek allies within the other Realms.
“Now, Toran, you’ll make our hosts think you’re not enjoying their hospitality. Look, the puddings are coming. Is that the honey and nut cake you so love? I’m certain it is. King Adar and Queen Nishana must have remembered how much you like it, and they’ve made it for you especially,” Beland wheedled.
Tanvir met Jess’s eye and they exchanged looks of disgust. As leery as she’d been of Mahlia’s request, Jess found she liked the idea of striking a deal with Corland even less. Mercenary Mahlia might be, but she was a good monarch. She managed her Realm competently, took good care of her people, and worked hard to secure the safety of her Realm.
Toran, on the other hand, was driven by nothing more than his own whims, and judging by the way Beland handled him, she doubted the boy would ever grow out of that selfishness. Jess had met Rylan on a few occasions, and she remembered him as a reasonable man, so she imagined he would not be happy with the way his brother was raising his son. Yet Jess suspected Beland acted not out of an unwillingness or inability to help his nephew learn to control his impulsive nature, but out of a sense that all but condoning his nephew’s wildness would make his own attempts to control the throne that much easier. By handling the things Toran couldn’t be bothered with, Beland would make himself indispensable to his nephew, securing his own future. The thought of a puppet king on the throne of Corland worried Jess. If Ellaria were
to succeed in usurping the Moritanian throne, she would find Toran a valuable pawn.
It was a relief when the feasting ended and Jess could put some distance between herself and the Corland royals. As Jess headed out of the great hall, Mahlia passed, a broad, satisfied smile on her face.
“I see you’ve been enjoying the charms of the good King Toran,” Mahlia purred. “Perhaps you now better understand why I find the idea of a union between my Realm and his…distasteful. I wonder what a woman like Ellaria would think of the prospect of marriage with Beland? Perhaps one as tempted by pure power as she is would not be as discerning as I am.”
It was Mahlia’s ace, and Jess could tell from the self-congratulatory expression on the queen’s face that she knew it. The mere thought sent a chill up Jess’s spine. From what she’d seen of Beland, she doubted he’d have any scruples about marrying a king slayer. In fact, Jess suspected that, if he possessed the daring, he might be tempted to commit regicide himself.
“Have a pleasant evening, Princess Jessmyn. I look forward to chatting with you tomorrow.” Mahlia flitted off down the corridor without looking back.
Hurrying out to the gardens, Jess found Tanvir waiting for her. He paced, wearing a groove in the smooth, emerald grass, and his relief at the sight of her was obvious.
“You heard much of the conversation, I imagine,” Tanvir said without preamble, holding his arm out so that Jess could choose the path they’d stroll.
“More than I would have liked to hear,” Jess muttered, leading him deeper into the gardens, away from prying ears. “I think Mahlia was positively delighted by the way things turned out.”
“I find myself sympathizing with her.”
“As do I,” Jess admitted. “We ought to thank our lucky stars Mahlia is too clever to fall for Beland’s ploys.”
“Indeed. Mahlia seems to have her own aspirations, but as far as I can tell, they all lie within her own Realm.”
“Yes, well, I now know quite well what it is Mahlia seeks.” Jess gave him a brief recap of her conversation with Mahlia, and Tanvir tugged on his beard thoughtfully.
“A marriage with a noble from Lyrane,” he mused. “Yes, I can see how that would be very favorable to her.”
“Perhaps to us as well. I didn’t think so at the time of my conversation with her, but after seeing what took place at dinner tonight…”
“I agree. I think we would be wise to pay closer attention to what’s going on in Corland.”
“Mahlia thinks Ellaria might be tempted by Beland if she’s successful at usurping the Moritanian throne.”
“That’s an excellent supposition. I should have thought of it myself.” Tanvir sighed deeply and rubbed his forehead. “It would seem things are becoming far more complex than we anticipated.”
Chapter 21
When the Lyranian royal visit ended, Dev felt oddly unsettled. He and Jess had eventually returned to the ball and Dev had been cordial with the noble ladies as was expected of him, but he had spent the rest of the night scanning the ballroom for Jess, drinking in her reassuring smile whenever he managed to catch her eye.
Dev was painfully aware that his mother had been keeping a close watch over him whenever he had interacted with one of the unmarried courtiers, and it irritated him. He didn’t like that his actions were subject to her constant scrutiny, particularly when it came to the issue of with whom he’d choose to spend the rest of his life.
At heart, Dev was a romantic. He wanted to marry a woman he loved, a woman he respected and admired. He wanted to be devoted to someone until the end of his days, and none of the women of the court inspired such feelings of commitment. What was worse, he had come to realize that many women had already made marriage with him their goal, and it made him cringe when they flirted with him, lavishing him with flattery. Marrying someone solely to gain power and position was so crass to him, so base.
It was only a matter of time. Nishana had thrown a ball yearly ever since he was a boy, but the last several had taken on a new tone, and he knew she was trying to spur him to fall in love—or at least infatuation. It was part of the reason he’d refused to be measured for a costume. The subject of his marriage had become a major point of contention between himself and his parents.
“Did you enjoy the ball?” his mother asked when they sat down to dinner. Adar and Tanvir exchanged glances, preparing themselves for the battle they were sure was to come.
“Come now, Mother. You know that, as a general rule, I don’t enjoy balls,” Dev replied.
She frowned, displeased with his refusal to disclose anything of interest to her. “There were so many lovely young ladies. And the costumes! I thought Tula, Lord Heshian’s daughter, was stunning. What a clever use of birdseed!”
“Tula?” Dev asked blankly, because it would annoy his mother. He knew perfectly well who Tula was, and clever wasn’t the word he’d have chosen for her use of birdseed. Nishana’s mouth tightened.
“I thought the music was a little too loud. Wouldn’t you agree, Tanvir?” Adar asked.
“Yes, it was rather,” Tanvir said with a vigorous nod.
“You danced with most of the young ladies. You must have noticed one of them,” Nishana persisted.
“Not really.” Dev shrugged and took another bite of roasted fowl. If he looked at his mother from just the right angle, he could almost see the steam billowing from her ears.
“You were gone for a stretch. Where did you disappear to?”
“I just went outside to get some air.” He didn’t want to talk to her about Jess. She would start asking questions, and his feelings were so jumbled he didn’t know what to make of them. The last thing he wanted was his mother picking through the details of the time he’d spent with Jess. She had been his friend for so long, and if Nishana started getting ideas in her head…
“Devaran, you do understand your duty to your Realm, do you not?” his mother asked, her voice hard.
“Of course I do,” he snapped. “But I’m not livestock at the market, Mother. When I marry, I want it to be for some reason other than political advantage.”
“Then let’s just hope you can find the mythical, perfect woman who won’t force you to compromise your ideals,” his mother shot back.
The words stung. After their last fight he’d told her how he felt, hoping that if he explained things to her she’d lay off. He hadn’t expected her to fling his hopes back in his face.
“May I be excused? I seem to have lost my appetite,” he said, tossing his napkin aside.
“Go,” Adar sighed. Tanvir bent his head over his plate, giving his food far more attention than it merited, and Dev’s resentment for his brother was so strong he could taste it. It wasn’t Tanvir’s fault, he knew that, but he couldn’t prevent the petty anger.
Striding from the chamber, he heard his mother turn on his father with furious, hissing words while his father tried placating her. It bothered him that he was putting his father in the middle but he didn’t know what else to do. He had given up so much of himself in trying to appease her, trying to be the prince she demanded he be. But on the subject of marriage he would not compromise. It was too important to him. He had sacrificed much for his Realm, would sacrifice more, but sacrificing his happiness seemed too much to ask.
Alone in his chambers, he thought about Jess. More than likely, she was starting to feel the same pressure he was, though he wondered if it was worse for her, being that she was an only child. After all, at least if anything happened to him the Realm would have perfect Prince Tanvir to fall back on.
When he probed his feelings about what had happened in the gardens, things became complicated. He thought Jess was the most beautiful woman in the Realms. Everyone did; all of the flowery, ridiculous ballads about her proved it. But beauty alone wasn’t everything, and defining Jess by her beauty was an insult. Though they sometimes went years without seeing one another, they had grown up together. He could remember what she looked like as a dirty seven-year-old
, and it felt so strange to contrast that image of her with the one of her at the ball. The white-gowned Jess posing as a huntress was not the same woman as the Jess who could best him when sparring with a longsword. No matter which version of Jess he saw, he always admired her, always liked her, and now he was confused.
Isn’t it possible that Jess is the woman you’re looking for?
Yet it wasn’t that simple. He had no idea what Jess felt for him. She considered him a friend, that much he knew. But Jess was a soldier, a warrior. Wouldn’t she want a man who was as well? Dev could fight, but he was no brash knight riding off into battle. Jess laughed at his jokes, but could she take him seriously?
Have I ever given her reason to take me seriously? he wondered.
Blowing out a breath, he began pacing his chamber. The constant talk of marriage made him want to jump on his horse and run off to one of his father’s remote hunting lodges. What Jess had said at the ball made sense. He could be a force for good if he tried. What he didn’t know was if he could ever get over the resentment of having every aspect of his life exposed to public view.
Someone knocked on his door, but he was confident it wasn’t his mother. She probably would have blazed right in and started expressing her displeasure with him. Sighing, he went to answer it. He didn’t feel like seeing anyone at the moment, but he couldn’t hide out from his family forever, no matter how much he might like to do so.
“Tanvir,” Dev said, surprised to see his brother standing outside.
“Can I come in?”
“Yes, of course.” Dev stood aside and Tanvir stepped into the chamber. Tanvir’s gravity gave Dev the disconcerting sense that it was Tanvir who was the older brother.
“Mother’s not very happy with you,” Tanvir said as Dev closed the door.
“When is she ever?” Dev sighed.
“She’s just looking out for you, you know.”
“Don’t you start in on me too,” Dev said, his irritation with his brother returning.
[Fairytale 02] - Asleep (2013) Page 12