What could it be?
On the morning of the 24th, before the guests were meant to arrive, she started preparing the side dishes. The oven in their kitchen was big enough to fit the turkey as well as a tray of potatoes and vegetables all at once, so it was just a matter of timing everything to be ready at the same time. No big deal, right?
Clarice peeled more potatoes than she'd ever had to peel before. Then came the carrots, parsnips, and other winter vegetables. By the end, she could do nothing more than slump down on one of the wooden chairs in the kitchen and rest her tired hands. She was right on schedule, and yet...
Clariiiice , that same whisper she'd heard before entered her mind again.
When she tried to shake it off and get back on task, the sight of the freshly cleaned vegetables made her nauseous.
Clarice closed her eyes and covered her face with her hands, but the earthy smell of raw potato on her fingers just made things worse.
Clariiiice!
The voice seemed to get clearer and more distinct every time she heard it.
The room started to spin, faster and faster. In the end, she could do nothing but run to the nearest bathroom. Of all the times to catch the stomach flu, did it have to be now, on the morning of Christmas Eve? She still had so much to do!
She took a deep breath and washed her face, noting that she felt much better already. That was weird, right? When you have the stomach flu, you don't just feel okay like that.
She studied her face in the mirror, noting that there was something different about her reflection, but she couldn't figure out what exactly. The healthy blush on her cheeks also suggested that whatever was ailing her wasn't the flu.
A little twitch in her stomach distracted her from her mirror image, and the voice seemed to have come back as well. God, don't make it start all over again!
Clarice rested her hand on her lower abdomen and immediately the funny feeling passed and her mind became quiet again. Odd.
Derek was out doing his daily chores around the farm and Clarice didn't want to bother him, so she headed back to the kitchen for a well-earned cup of tea. Perhaps it would settle her stomach.
She cleared all the prepped food away, though the smell had stopped bothering her, and put on the kettle. Despite her earlier discomfort, she couldn't resist a quick bite to eat while waiting. This was really very strange.
Steaming mug in hand, she left the kitchen and settled down in one of the armchairs facing the Christmas tree. That's when she noticed it had started to shed, badly. The previously lush and green needles were thinning so much that some of the branches had started to look much like the tall trees surrounding the farm: barren.
That pile of dried up needles underneath the tree was threatening the perfection Clarice was aiming for. She sighed, put her tea back down and cleared up the mess, which seemed never-ending, with new needles falling where old ones had just been picked up. It was hopeless.
By the time she gave up, her tea was lukewarm. Bloody brilliant, can't I catch a break?
"Darling, a moment?" Derek stuck his head around the door.
She took a big sip. Ugh. Clarice put her mug down again and followed Derek into the entrance hall.
"The first arrival is here," he said, nodding at the front door. "I guess it's your friend from London."
Only then did Clarice hear the car creep over the gravel in front of the house. No rest for the wicked...
"Are you all right?" Derek asked, studying her face.
"Yeah. Fine." Clarice took a deep breath and headed outside into the cold, leaving Derek in the doorway. "Lily, you made it!"
On the eve of the big day, Derek was struggling to maintain the obligatory festive mood.
When Clarice had first brought up the idea of organizing a big Christmas party, inviting family as well as friends, Derek McMillan hadn't really liked the idea. He loved his farm as it was: quiet, peaceful, with only the occasional guest staying in one of the cottages. His brother Aidan's occasional visits had been enough of a distraction from his daily routine to keep him happy.
But the sparkle in Clarice's eyes when she told him about all her plans for the perfect holidays had swayed him. She was so intent on having a picture-postcard Christmas during her first winter at the farm, he couldn't bring himself to refuse it.
Christmas was a painful time for Derek, and for Aidan as well. Some of their favorite childhood memories involved a roaring fire, homemade cookies and Christmas pudding, enjoyed by the elaborately decorated tree. But a large part of those cherished memories was missing forever; their parents had died in a car accident when Derek was only a teenager.
Ever since that dark day so many years ago, Derek and Aidan had stopped celebrating their favorite holiday.
Until now.
Derek had kept his concerns to himself while he watched Clarice sort through the old Christmas decorations hidden away in the attic of McMillan Farm. She'd selected a set of old-fashioned painted wood ornaments to go with the green and red glass baubles. Funny how a few boxes of decorations and a pine tree could completely transform the living room.
He'd even baked a Christmas pudding and helped her pick the recipe for the roast she was planning to make on the big day. It was Clarice's first attempt at cooking for more than just the two of them.
The guest list had started simple: Aidan and his mate, Heidi, whom Derek had only briefly met a couple of months earlier, and Clarice's best friend from London, Lily. Their cousin Elise and her mate Jack had been invited as well but declined because of earlier commitments.
Five people in total, that was quite manageable.
From there, though, things had gotten out of hand. Before setting off from Edinburgh, Aidan had suggested they invite his colleague from the Alliance, Jamie, along with his human mate Alison. That made seven.
Now, when Aidan phoned up to let Derek know he was on the way, it turned out he'd invited yet another guest! Aidan and Jamie's colleague Kyle had tagged along at the last minute. Derek was happy enough to indulge Clarice and let her have her party, but this wasn't what he'd signed up for.
Not only would the farm be overrun with bears and their various non-traditional mates, there were also going to be two loose cannons to deal with: Kyle, whose loyalties were as yet unknown, and Lily, who under no circumstance could find out about the shifters' real nature.
Derek valued the opportunity to shift at will and go for a run through the nearby wilderness whenever the urge arose, but with so many people around - human as well as shifter - there wouldn't be any point. Wherever he could go, he'd be sure to run into someone or other. And so, his mood had soured significantly.
Lily was the first to arrive, and despite Derek's grumpiness, he had to admit she seemed nice enough. He left the two friends to themselves for the rest of the afternoon, instead making sure that everything was ready for the remaining guests.
The two holiday cottages at McMillan farm each had a cozy little living area with open plan kitchen, and a bedroom with a king-sized bed. That took care of the two couples they were expecting. Where to put Kyle, the fifth wheel, though? There was another bedroom in the house, of course, but it was far from appropriate – Derek’s childhood room.
He hadn't spent much time in there, especially not lately. Over the years - ever since he'd started to use the master bedroom himself - his old room had turned into more of a dumping ground than anything else. The bed was still there, but unfortunately so were boxes of random things that had been thoughtlessly discarded.
Of all the things he wanted to do today, reorganizing and sorting through old crap wasn't one of them, but Aidan hadn't left him much of a choice.
Derek pulled himself together and started piling boxes and other random things together, carrying them up to the attic. It took multiple trips until the bed underneath even became visible. Every trip up the flight of stairs leading to the attic was like another journey into the past.
Old items of furniture that no longer had
a place downstairs stood around gathering dust. He hadn't been up here in so long he'd forgotten about a lot of it. There was even an old crib standing in the corner, no doubt the one he and Aidan had both slept in as babies. Derek recognized it from old photographs. Their dad had built it himself, but by now it had seen better days.
Derek wasn't sure why, but seeing it there, abandoned in the corner, paint flaking off the sides, made him feel funny. Like it deserved a better fate.
All of this stuff actually... Perhaps he ought to take a few days, after all the guests left, to sort through these things to make sure they were even worth keeping. Perhaps it was time to take some stuff out of storage and put it back to use.
But now wasn't the right moment to consider any of that. Derek dusted himself off, and made the final trip down, shutting the hatch to the attic behind him for the time being.
The room wasn't perfect, but it had to do. He laid out some fresh linens and bedding and declared it ready. If the guy, Kyle, didn't like it, he could sleep in the damn barn for all Derek cared.
It was getting late, and dusk had already set in by the time Derek was done. Lily and Clarice were still in the living room, chatting like they had years to catch up on, so he went out to tend to the animals. He finished his evening routine in a rush when another car rolled into the drive.
Aidan and company, Derek grudgingly thought. He should probably go out there to say hello, but decided instead to head out on his own for a bit of alone time in the woods. He'd see them all soon enough...
By the time Derek returned to McMillan farm, it was getting close to dinner time. Feeding a bunch of hungry shifters, especially bears, wasn't an easy task if one wasn't used to that kind of thing. No way could he leave Clarice to her own devices for this.
He went inside and said a quick hello to all the guests, who had made themselves at home in the lounge. Aidan had even lit the fireplace already, making the place look a whole lot like it used to, so many years ago when they were still kids.
Derek had to admit that it was nice, coming back to a house full of people for a change. Their cheer was infectious.
"Glad you could make it," Derek said while giving Aidan a quick hug.
"Any time." Aidan responded, then turned to face the decorated tree in the corner, his arm still around Derek's shoulder. "It's nice seeing all this stuff again, don't you think? Mom would be pleased it's still in use."
Derek had to admit Aidan was right. Their folks been gone a long time, but in a way parts of them would always be around. He caught a glimpse of Clarice leaving the room to heat up dinner.
Aidan let go of him and joined Heidi on the sofa.
They'd both found someone to share their lives with. That, too, would have pleased their parents. It was time to leave the painful past behind and look ahead.
It was hours before Clarice got another chance to sit and relax. The voice that had been plaguing her all morning never really got totally quiet but was drowned out by the conversation of the guests descending upon McMillan Farm for the holidays.
But by the time was in the kitchen on her own, filling the dishwasher with the empty remnants of dinner, her thoughts returned to the weird bout of sickness as well as everything else that had been going on.
Clariiice! Soon! The strange voice seemed to whisper.
What could it be? Had this been one of her novels, the sudden nausea would trigger suspicion.
Wait, how long had it been since her last period?
Clarice's heart raced as she tried to remember. It had been a while, for sure, but in all her planning for the holidays she'd completely lost track.
But that's not possible, is it?
She used to be on the pill but hadn’t seen the need since Derek was pretty sure nothing could happen. She was human; he was a bear. They wouldn't be compatible enough to be able to have a baby. And yet...
Clarice sunk down onto one of the chairs and rested her elbows on the wooden table. Was this actually happening?
She wasn't sure how to feel about it and didn't get the chance to make up her mind.
"Sweetheart?" Derek opened the door and gave her a concerned look. "I know I've been asking this all day but are you okay? I was just walking by and could hear your heart beating much faster than normal."
Clarice didn't know what to say. I don't know!
He came up to her, resting one of his hands on her shoulder. She closed her eyes and tried to collect herself again.
I think perhaps I might be pregnant...
"You what?" Derek blurted out.
His eyes were wide open, mouth agape. Shit. We're not ready, are we? I never even thought this was possible!
"Are you sure?" Derek asked, and kneeled down on the floor beside her.
Clarice covered her face with her hands. "No. I'm not sure of anything right now."
He paused for a moment, then placed his hand on her stomach. "It's not possible," he whispered.
And yet... Clarice looked up again. Derek's brown eyes seemed to have turned a few shades darker.
"I never thought..." He took a deep breath and pressed his lips together.
Oh God, they were so totally not ready for this.
"I never expected I'd ever become a father." Derek looked helpless, his eyes moistening slightly.
"I'm sorry, I feel like I should have been more prepared," Clarice whispered.
He shook his head. "No. Don't."
She bit her lip. What were they going to do?
"This is nothing short of a miracle." He reached out to her, wrapping his arms tightly around her. His embrace filled her with warmth.
Clarice had been so distracted by all that had happened that she hadn't listened to her gut. She was scared. So was he, but more than that she felt a different emotion spill over from him into her. Derek, more than anything, was ecstatic.
Silent tears ran down his cheeks before falling onto her shoulder. "You'll make a great mom," Derek mumbled.
It was too intense, too much. Clarice couldn't help herself and started to cry as well.
"So will you. A great dad, I mean," she said, her voice cracking as she spoke.
Somewhere deep inside of her something else demanded attention. The mysterious voice was back.
Soon. I'm coming!
"Did you hear that?" Derek asked, pulling back and looking her in the face.
Although she wanted to remain serious, she simply couldn't. It started as a smile, quickly turned into a giggle and then a laugh.
"Oh my God, I've been losing my mind hearing this voice! It never occurred to me that you'd be able to hear it too," Clarice blurted out.
Derek wiped his face and eyes with the back of his hand and smiled back at her.
"That's her. Our daughter," he said.
"How do you know?" Clarice asked. "Is this normal?"
"It only happens with some couples; when the bond is particularly strong, they can hear the baby before it's born. Unfortunately not after, though."
"So she won't be able to simply tell us if she's hungry, huh?"
"Sadly, no. The connection is lost after birth."
"Wow. So much to learn," Clarice said.
"Yeah. We'll figure it out."
"I hope so." Clarice rested her forehead on his shoulder and closed her eyes. Should we tell people?
Derek got up, took Clarice by the hand and then gathered her up in his arms in one swift move. No matter how often he did it, she'd never grow tired of this.
"We'll get an appointment to see the doctor after the holidays and see how it goes. It's still early days, isn't it?"
Clarice wrapped her arms around his neck and rested her face in the crook of his neck. It had been a long and emotional day and tomorrow would perhaps be even longer, but his scent was stirring up something inside her that she couldn't ignore.
"How about we get some rest. I'll tidy up the rest of the kitchen in the morning before you get up," Derek suggested.
Clarice just smiled and held
on tightly as he carried her through the now empty living room and hallway. She hoped he wasn't all that serious about resting just yet. She needed him more than ever right now.
Just before he carried her into their bedroom, she noted the two muffled voices filtering through the adjoining door; Lily's room. Clearly she'd had made up her mind on what to do about Kyle.
You've got to be joking! Derek thought, causing Clarice to chuckle.
They already knew each other. It's a long story.
Derek shook his head and walked over to the bed, laying her down gently against the pillows. He'd always been an attentive lover, but tonight he was even more so.
He undressed her slowly, savoring the view as he exposed more of her with each item of clothing removed. He lit up her skin with gentle kisses, worshiping her body even more so than normal. When he slipped his hand between her legs, she couldn't suppress a soft moan. Hopefully, they were too busy to hear her next door. But it wasn't just Lily and Kyle who were potentially listening in! What about the young life growing inside of her?
"You don't think she'll mind, do you?" Clarice whispered.
"I think as long as you're happy, she'll be happy," Derek responded.
That made sense, or at least, it was close enough to what Clarice wanted to believe. She relaxed again and focused only on Derek's fingers – how they traced her folds, caressing her, teasing her until she no longer cared about who heard what.
By the time he spread her legs wide, and kissed her most intimate lips, she had reached a different plane of existence. There was no room next door, no potential audience. There was only Derek, his tongue, and her pleasure.
She wanted to repay the favor, take him into her mouth and please him as he was pleasing her, but he wouldn't hear of it. Stubbornly he remained down there between her thighs: licking, tasting, tickling her.
Clarice's mind fogged over. All she was able to do was hang on tightly to the sheets beneath her and enjoy the ride.
Just before reaching the edge of her orgasm, Derek pulled away and guided his thick cock into her slick entrance. She twitched and spasmed, eager for him to fill her completely. He was equally swept up in emotions as well as lust.
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