Learning to Breathe

by J. C. McClean

  The rest of the week passed without any further run-ins with Danny. This was mostly due to the fact that I had taken to sitting in the stands, as far away from him as possible. Though, I did catch him glancing my way every now and then.

  As much as I tried to convince myself that Danny would never discover anything about my past, I really didn’t feel confident. Sure, I could avoid him now but what happened in two weeks time when we were attending the same school?

  I was deeply troubled by the thought that he might unearth the secrets that I was determined to keep hidden. What if he started digging for information about my life in Langley Falls? I figured the only way I could prepare myself for such an occasion was to dig up some dirt on Danny himself.

  That very weekend, I tried my best to interrogate Harriet about him but she couldn’t tell me a lot. All I managed to discover was that he – along with his parents – had arrived in Dover Springs two years ago but nobody really knew a lot about his life before or why he moved here. Harriet just told me that he was a nice guy and a really talented swimmer, which was why he was captain of the school’s swim team.

  Honestly, it appeared that Danny wasn’t hiding anything but something kept telling me that there was a reason why he was so cocky and sure of himself all of the time – and there were his scars to consider too. What exactly it was, I didn’t know but I had an inkling that he was keeping something a secret and I was determined to prove that I was right.

  Then again, maybe I was clutching at straws. Perhaps I was so desperate for my past to remain behind me that I was inventing a mystery to solve where there wasn’t one. Nevertheless, I thought it best to avoid contact with Danny at all costs … I had a feeling that it would be very dangerous otherwise.

  Chapter Five

  The rest of the summer seemed to pass in a blur. It was hard to believe that today would be my first day at Dover High. For the past two weeks, I had managed to steer clear of Danny but today I wouldn’t be able to. I wasn’t exactly sure why I felt that it was necessary to avoid him because he hadn’t exactly done anything wrong but it was just easier than dealing with his questions about my past.

  I quickly showered and then pondered about what to wear. I ransacked my wardrobe and managed to decide on navy jeans, a grey v-neck t-shirt and grey Converse – I thought it was quite apt as the colours seemed to suit my mood.

  I grabbed my shoulder bag and then headed downstairs to make some coffee. I met my mother coming out of the kitchen in quite a hurry.

  “Morning honey, sorry I can’t drop you off for your first day but I’m late for work. Have fun though!” She then rushed out the door, leaving me alone wondering if today was going to be as horrible as I was imagining it would be.

  After consuming some much-needed caffeine, I locked up the house and had just started heading towards the bus stop when I heard a horn honking. I turned and saw that it was Harriet. Over the last two weeks, I had seen her very seldom and last week, I hadn’t seen her at all since she had been away on holiday to Spain.

  I approached the car and she wound down the window. “Hey Darcie, want a lift?”

  I nodded. “Sure, thanks.” I hopped into the passenger seat and felt relieved that I wouldn’t have to get the bus after all.

  “So, you have a nice holiday?” I ventured at Harriet who was looking very brown.

  She turned to glance at me and smiled. “Yeah, it was great. How was the rest of yours?”

  I shrugged. “Very uneventful.”

  I watched her smirk for a minute. “Really? Well what’s this I hear about you and Danny not speaking to each other?”

  I rolled my eyes. “Why does it matter? Who told you anyway?”

  She chuckled. “My little sister – Faye, she’s best friends with Ellie. Ellie updated her on all of the gossip when we came home from holiday. Apparently they both think that you and Danny would make a cute couple.”

  “Please!” I scoffed. “They’re eight years old – they still think Barbie and Ken make a cute couple!”

  Harriet giggled loudly and then suddenly turned serious. “So you’re not interested in Danny at all?”

  I shook my head. “No, I’m not.” I told her vehemently – determined to let her know that it was the truth.

  “Fair enough. What happened between you guys though?” She frowned at me, eagerly awaiting my answer.

  “It was actually about him asking me out. I don’t date but he couldn’t seem to accept that the first time so I had to tell him again.” I shrugged and watched as Harriet looked confused.

  “Why don’t you date?” She asked with a puzzled look.

  “I just don’t. Never have.” I told her firmly so that she knew to change the subject.

  She merely nodded, pulled into the school car park and said, “Welcome to Dover High – the place that will suck the life out of you for the next year – enjoy.”

  I chuckled. “It can’t be that bad. Can it?”

  Harriet faced me with a sombre expression. “I guess you’ll find out, won’t you?” She then winked and got out of the car.

  Dover High was a rather large building and I idly found myself wondering how I would ever remember my way around. I was just thankful that today was only a half day and I wouldn’t have to worry about it properly until Monday. However, my mind was put at ease a little when Harriet offered to be my guide for the following week. We made our way to our tutor class where I met several more of Harriet’s friends – not that I managed to recall any of their names – and waited for our teacher to arrive.

  Ten minutes later and Mr Fennell walked into the room and began to hand out timetables. I watched as they were then passed out to everyone except me. Mr Fennell approached my desk and then informed that my timetable had been delayed. I vaguely wondered what I was meant to do until 12.30. Before I could voice this concern, Mr Fennell beat me to it and answered my unasked question.

  “There’s nothing to worry about Darcie, classes don’t start until Monday. I’m sure they’ll have it all sorted out by then. Today is just a chance for everyone to gather up the various textbooks and supplies they’ll need for this year. Okay?”

  I nodded and watched as Mr Fennell addressed the rest of the class.

  “Okay everyone, I hope you all had a nice summer but I also hope that you’re all ready for a year of hard work …” He trailed off at the collective groan that rippled around the classroom.

  Mr Fennell shushed everyone and continued on with his lecture.

  “Hey, there’s no need for that. You all know how important this year is. You must all be focused and …” He suddenly trailed off at hearing a knock on the door. We all watched as he stepped outside to talk to the principal, Ms Greenly.

  Everybody’s attention was focused on the door but pretty soon the noise level began to creep up again when most people realised that they couldn’t hear anything. I was just about to start a conversation with Harriet when the door opened again.

  Mr Fennell addressed the class once more. “Hey! Quiet down or I just might not tell you the good news…” he paused and waited for complete silence before he continued.

  “I talked to Ms Greenly and she’s just informed me that some of the supplies have been delayed which means…” He trailed off and looked around, waiting for someone to realise what he meant and fill in the blanks.

  A guy at the front suddenly perked up in his seat. “Dude, do we like get to go home?”

  Mr Fennell nodded. “Yes Frankie, good to see you haven’t let the old brain matter turn to mush over the summer. Yes, after I hand out whatever textbooks we do have, you can all get a jump-start on the weekend.”

  And with that he proceeded to dole out various heavy books.

  An hour later and we were free.

  “This is so cool,” Harriet gushed. “I tried to tell Mum that it was stupid going back on a Friday! I guess I’ll have more time to get ready for tonight – there’s a party later, do you wanna come?”

  She turn
ed to me expectantly and I shrugged.

  “Where is it?”

  “Well a whole load of us are going to the spring. It’s kind of a tradition … every year, the first Friday in September we have a party there.” She explained while I debated about whether I should go or not.

  I eventually nodded my head. “Sure, why not?”

  One little party wasn’t going to hurt and I really didn’t want to be stuck indoors with my mother and her worried glances. Besides, she was always telling me to get out more – here was my chance.

  I arrived home after having lunch in town with Harriet and some of her friends. After agreeing to leave around 7pm later that evening, I made my way into the empty house and flopped down on the sofa to watch some TV.

  Halfway through a re-run of ‘Chuck’, my phone bleeped. I rummaged around in my bag and took it out to find that I had a text message from one Danny Fletcher:

  ‘U goin 2 party 2nite?’

  To be honest, I was quite shocked to hear from him – I hadn’t talked to him at all from our first encounter at the pool and I was intrigued as to why he was texting me now. I decided to give in to my curiosity and typed a reply:

  ‘Yep. Why?’

  A minute later and my phone bleeped again:

  ‘I want 2 tlk n u cnt avoid me 4evr!’

  I sighed heavily and wondered what he wanted to talk about. I really wasn’t sure I wanted to speak to him at all. However, I found myself reluctantly replying back:

  ‘Fine. C u 2nite.’

  My phone bleeped yet again and I had to laugh when I read his reply:

  ‘Ooh dnt snd so xcitd! I luk 4wrd 2 it ;)’

  I rolled my eyes and sent back:

  ‘Whatever. C u l8r.’

  When Danny didn’t reply again, I decided to look for something to wear later that night. I wasn’t really sure what would be appropriate for the party as I didn’t want to look too casual or dressed up. I sighed as I scanned the rail for something that appealed to me.

  Twenty minutes later and I picked out a denim skirt and a dressy top, I then added a cardigan in case it got cold later. Finally happy with my outfit choice, I decided to start cooking dinner since I would be leaving for the party quite early.

  My mother arrived home just after 5.30pm and was pleasantly surprised to discover that I had chicken curry waiting for her.

  “Thanks honey, you’re a star.” she told me, taking a forkful and savouring the taste.

  I smiled at her and she addressed me again. “So, how was school?”

  “Very uneventful – they let us leave about two hours after we arrived. Some stuff was delayed so they told us to go home at about ten-thirty.” I shrugged, watching for her reaction.

  My mother chuckled. “I’m sure you didn’t mind. I did think it was rather odd going back on a Friday – then again, it’s probably because it’s technically the start of September. Anyway, do you have plans for tonight?”

  I nodded. “There’s a party at the spring. I said I’d go … you don’t mind, do you?”

  She shook her head. “No honey, it’ll be good for you to get out. Just be careful, okay?”

  “I always am.” I reassured her.

  She nodded. “Okay, well I’m going to crash in front of the TV. What time are you headed out at?”

  “In about an hour so I need to get ready.” I told her as I began to wash up the dishes.

  She started to leave the room but then paused in the doorway. “Have fun tonight. Oh, and try not to be too late back … or do anything that I wouldn’t do.”

  I nodded obediently and breathed a sigh of relief when she then left the room without any further cryptic comments. My mother wasn’t naïve enough to believe that there wouldn’t be any alcohol at the party tonight but she trusted me enough to know that I wouldn’t drink too much – if at all. With the thought that it would probably be the latter, I hurriedly finished off washing up and then made my way upstairs to get ready.

  I decided to leave my hair in my natural waves but I did put on a little bit of make up. I then put on my skirt and top along with my Converse sneakers and looked in the mirror – all in all, I didn’t look too bad.

  I glanced at my watch and found that I was ten minutes early. I grabbed my phone, cardigan and bag and made my way downstairs. I didn’t want to sit and wait with my mother so I peeked my head around the living room door and told her I was leaving. She waved me off and I went outside to call for Harriet.

  Harriet was ready five minutes later and looked great in a summery dress with flip-flops. We got into her car and drove to the spring, listening to Katy Perry’s ‘Firework’ on the way.

  We arrived at the party and I instantly felt suffocated. There were too many people around and the music was deafening. I looked around and seriously debated about going home again – I couldn’t remember why I had agreed to come in the first place. I didn’t want to be a buzz kill but it wasn’t really my scene and I felt uncomfortable – even more so when I noticed most of the people appeared to be intoxicated.

  I sucked in a deep breath and told myself to grin and bear it – after all, Harriet was my lift home and she didn’t appear to be willing to leave in a hurry. I watched as she scoped out the crowd, searching for someone.

  “Hey!” she yelled in my ear, over the loud music, “Let’s see if we can find Samuel and the rest of the guys. Is that okay?”

  I nodded and let her drag me through the various closely packed bodies while she looked out for any sign of Samuel. Eventually we found him near the water’s edge, handing out bottles of beer to a queue of people. Harriet bounded over to him and he offered her a bottle.

  She took it but I noticed that she glanced at me before asking, “You don’t mind, do you? We can get someone to leave us home later.”

  I shrugged at her, who was I to argue? I couldn’t stop her from having a good time but now it looked like that I would be stuck here for a while – I certainly didn’t want to chance driving her car home. I sighed and Samuel offered me a beer too but I kindly declined his offer. Harriet threw me a questioning look but didn’t say anything, instead, she turned to Samuel and planted a kiss on his cheek.

  After five minutes, I decided to leave them to it and tried to find a quiet spot to sit. I had just managed to sit down in a secluded area when a figure approached me – Danny – I ought to have known that he would be the one who would find my hiding spot.

  I sighed as he sat down next to me.

  “Shouldn’t you be over there hitting on several girls?” I asked with a smirk. “Or do you save that for working in the book shop?”

  He grinned. “Ouch. You think so little of me? I’ll have you know that I was only helping out the owner that day. I don’t work in the bookshop.”

  I threw him a sceptical look. “So why give me your number then?”

  He shrugged. “You intrigued me.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Uh huh.”

  He smirked and then turned serious. “So, I take it parties aren’t your thing?”

  I shrugged. “I don’t like big crowds.”

  He nodded.

  “Right,” he drawled out. “You don’t like to socialise much, do you?”

  I shrugged again. “I’ve never been into the whole party scene.”

  He looked at me curiously but he didn’t question my answer at which I was relieved. Instead, he tactfully changed the subject.

  “So, why have you been avoiding me?”

  I glanced at him and noticed that his hazel eyes were looking at me intently.

  I sighed. “I haven’t. I just …” I trailed off, wondering how to explain to him that I was probably the biggest loner he’d ever had the misfortune of meeting.

  Danny frowned at me. “You just what?”

  “I’m just not used to people wanting to hang out with me.” I told him, rushing the words out rather quickly.

  He looked very confused. “Why?”

  “I don’t find it easy to talk to people – and I
don’t like anyone knowing everything about me.”

  “Yeah, I’ve noticed.” he commented but he smiled at me nonetheless.

  I didn’t want to say anything else on the subject so I waited for him to speak again.

  “Well, I hope you’re willing to change that and start talking because I wanna get to know you.” Danny half-smiled at me and I found myself cautious.

  Was I ready to open up and actually let someone into my life? I had already freaked out on him several times when he’d tried to pry into my life but I couldn’t keep that up forever. I had a funny feeling that he wasn’t going to leave me alone.

  I could tell that he wasn’t going to give up too easily and I would have no choice but to deal with it. As my mother had said – moving here was a chance to start over – I would be a fool to let this opportunity to pass me by. It couldn’t be that hard letting Danny be my friend, could it?

  After I eventually decided to give Danny a chance at getting to know me – within reason, of course – he took it upon himself to ask me the most random questions. He didn’t ask about anything too personal – it ranged from what my favourite colour was to my favourite band – and I was happy to answer them.

  Despite my initial promise that I would not reveal anything to Danny, I quickly found myself charmed by him and keeping my word was soon becoming very difficult. He had barely scratched the surface with his interrogation but I knew that I could easily forget myself and slip up – I was determined not to let that happen.

  “So,” I began – keen to take the heat off me for a moment, “What about you? What’s your story?”

  Danny chuckled. “Nice deflection! Okay, I’ll humour you. What do you wanna know?”

  “As much as you wanna tell me.” I told him with a half smile.

  Danny then proceeded to tell me his life story – well the abridged version anyway – and I found myself intrigued. He was quite open with details about his life in Dover Springs and I was curious as to how he could be so comfortable sharing it all with me. Then again, maybe it was normal for people here to tell you everything about themselves and I was just the exception to the rule.