“Someday, I’m gonna bake and sell my bread to the fancy people like they do at the bakery.”
And just that quickly, Nancy was thrown back into her imaginings, wondering again whatever had happened to Gregory Smith.
Chapter Six
Faith traipsed all through town, swallowing her nerves and asking everyone about any Nancy’s they might know. She worked hard to be casual, almost flippant, about her asking—even as her heart beat wildly each time.
When the day was over, she had a heard of four women named Nancy, not counting the young Beiler girl. She’d already spied on Nancy Hershberger. And she’d seen another Nancy at the local dry goods shop. That Nancy had to have been at least fifty years old, an age that could work, but wouldn’t match a young girl giving a baby away.
Which left two more Nancy’s to explore.
Faith counted on the woman at the bakery asking her aunt. Not that the aunt would recognize her mother’s name, but it could reopen the conversation so that Faith might be able to squeeze out some more information about her. Faith was going to give herself another day or two there in Landover Creek. After that, she’d move on to Hollybrook, hoping someone there might know something.
Faith slept soundly that night. She woke up to a rooster greeting the day with a hearty crow. She smiled as she stirred beneath the light quilt. It was lovely there in Landover Creek. She could see herself living there contentedly. She climbed out of bed and padded over to the dresser to pick up her phone. She’d charged it through the night, marveling again how it was all right for part of the house to have electricity, but the other part not.
Five text messages. She thumbed through them. They were all from Seth. She hadn’t spoken with him the night before. She’d turned off her phone and spent the evening using no electricity. Pretending, like a child, that she was Amish. The summer days were long, and she’d had enough light until about nine-thirty. Then, right before climbing into bed, she’d plugged in her phone.
Now, she pressed Seth’s number.
“Faith? I was worried! Where were you last night?” His voice held both concern and irritation.
“I’m sorry, Seth. I turned off my phone.”
“Why?”
Why, indeed. She hesitated before answering. “I just did. But it’s on now. How are you?”
“How am I?” he asked. “How are you?”
Again, she hesitated. Finally, she took a deep breath. “I’m fine. I like it here.”
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t know exactly. It’s nice here.”
“Are you making friends or something? You’re only going to be there for a little while, you know.” There was poorly disguised worry in his voice now.
“We don’t know that for sure,” she said, wondering why she was contesting him. Was she trying to pick a fight?
“What do you mean?” he asked again.
“If I find my birth mother, I might want to stay longer.”
There was silence across the line.
“Seth?”
A sigh. “What?”
“You still there?”
“I’ll always be here for you, Faith. You know that.”
“You mad at me?”
“Of course not.” He blew out his breath. “I’m worried is all. Please don’t turn off your phone again.”
“Fine.”
“Any way I can help you?”
Faith considered his question. “I’m not sure you can. Pray for me, I guess.”
Never in all their months together had she asked him to pray for her. In fact, they didn’t really discuss their faith together. Not that it was taboo or anything; they just didn’t do it.
“I’d like to do more than pray.”
“I found out about four different Nancy’s,” Faith said. “I’ve already checked on two of them. I have two more.”
“And how do you plan to check on them?”
“I’m not sure yet.”
“Please keep me in the loop, Faith. I don’t like you being there alone.”
“I’m fine. Fine.” She ran her hand over the back of her neck. “I need to go, Seth. I’ll call you tonight. I promise.”
“Cross your heart and hope to die?” he asked, humor returning to his voice.
“Yep. Cross my heart and hope to die.” She laughed and disconnected the call.
Breakfast that morning was fried eggs, hash browns, toast, peaches, and coffee. Faith ate heartily. She was surprised at the difference in how she felt that morning. A new confidence surged through her, and her nerves were calm. She had a good feeling. Something was going to happen that day. Something good. She just knew it.
Nancy approached her husband in the barn. “Abel?”
“Ach! You startled me,” Abel said, turning to her. He reached forward and tickled Miriam under her chin as she sat on Nancy’s hip. “What did you need?”
“I’m running low on supplies. Do you mind if I take the cart into town and pick them up. I can take all the kinner if you’d like, but I’d rather leave them here to do their chores. Except Miriam, of course.” She smiled at the baby.
“Leave them here,” Abel said. “I’ll check on them.”
“Thank you.”
“And I’ll hitch up Blackie for you.” Abel set down the feed bag he’d been carrying. “You aim to head out right away?”
“Jah. Right away.”
Abel nodded and set to getting the pony cart ready. “You sure you don’t want to take Jeremy to drive you?”
Nancy considered this. She looked again at Miriam who was looking droopy-eyed. “Maybe it would be better.”
She went to the barn door and craned her neck, trying to catch a glimpse of her eldest at the chicken coop. “Jeremy!” she called. “I need you!”
Jeremy appeared within minutes and helped his dad hitch up the horse. In no time at all, he was sitting on the cart bench holding the reins. Nancy climbed in beside him, balancing the baby on her lap.
“Thank you, son. Let’s go.” Nancy tightened her grip on Miriam as the cart lurched into motion.
The ride to the dry goods store was short. Jeremy decided to stay put in the cart while Nancy went inside to make her purchases.
“Hand Miriam to me, Mamm. I’ll watch her.”
“The sun’s not too hot?”
“We’re a bit in the shade. If it gets too hot, I’ll jump down and wait under the tree.”
“I won’t be long.”
Nancy hustled into the store to take care of her business. And true to her word, she was back within twenty minutes.
“Can you pull the cart up to the loading bay?” she asked. “Mr. Winstrom will load my sacks of flour and sugar.”
Jeremy handed the baby back to his mother and clucked his tongue at Blackie. He gave a low whistle under his breath. “Mamm! There she is,” he whispered.
“There who is?”
“That fancy girl who was spying on our house.”
Nancy’s attention went directly to a tall thin young woman who was striding down the road as if she were late to a meeting. Her long brown hair fell gracefully down her back and swayed gently with each step. Nancy wasn’t close enough to get a good look at her face, and anyway, she wasn’t one to stare in the first place. But there was something about the girl that drew her. Maybe it was the eagerness of her movements. Or the way that, even at such a distance, Nancy could see her lips curled slightly up as if she was smiling, even though she wasn’t. Something about her was intriguing.
Abel snapped the reins on Blackie’s back. “Come on there, Blackie. Back up. That’s a boy.”
Nancy craned her head to continue watching the girl.
“Mamm, what is it? You’re staring at her.”
Nancy felt a shudder move through her and settle deep in her stomach. Something about the girl disturbed her.
“It’s nothing,” she said, controlling a sudden tremor in her voice. “Nothing at all. Just questioning why the girl was snooping.”
“Aw, Mamm. Them Englischers all spy on us. Sometimes, I feel like a display item from the dry goods. You know, like they’re fixing to purchase me or something.” Jeremy laughed at himself.
Nancy tried to join in, but something tugged at her, and she fixed her mouth in a straight line all the way home.
Chapter Seven
Faith walked into the bakery and scanned the place for the Amish girl she’d spoken to the day before. She spotted her bending over behind the counter organizing take-out boxes. She walked to the counter and waited until she straightened up and turned around.
“Good morning,” Faith said with a broad smile. “I was wondering if you’d had a chance to speak with your aunt.”
The girl frowned slightly, and Faith’s heart sank. Maybe she was pushing too hard. She knew the Amish cherished their privacy. But the girl didn’t rebuff Faith right away, so she kept the smile fixed on her face and waited.
The girl’s eyes narrowed, and she ran a dust cloth over the top counter. “My aenti doesn’t know anyone by the name of Margaret Baldwin.”
Faith bit her lower lip. She wasn’t surprised. After all, the unwed mother probably didn’t even know who took her baby.
“Thank you for asking,” she said, searching her mind for a way to extend the conversation. “How nice that your aunt lives close by.”
The girl’s face closed off, and Faith tried to brighten her smile further. “Has she always lived here?”
The girl took a step back, and Faith feared she wouldn’t answer her. But after a moment’s pause, she said. “Nee. She spent her childhood in Ohio.”
Faith’s breath whooshed out. “That’s nice that she moved here then. So you could know her.”
The girl nodded. “Do you want anything else? A pie? More cookies?”
Faith grabbed a package of rolls. “I’ll take these,” she said, digging in her purse for her money. She paid for her purchase and exited the shop. Her childhood in Ohio. Didn’t that mean it couldn’t have been her? Didn’t childhood extend to the teenage years?
Faith pressed her back against the shop’s outside wall. Another Nancy marked off her list. That left Nancy Yoder, and Faith had no idea where to find her. She spotted a cement bench beneath a flowering tree and made her way to it. She sat and glanced up and down the street, trying to discern which shop to go into and inquire. And if asked why she wanted Nancy Yoder, what was she to say?
She hadn’t a clue. Not one clue.
She spotted a furniture store with beautifully carved cradles in the display window. On impulse, she decided to inquire there. She walked across the street and a tinkling bell announced her entry into the store.
“Good morning,” an elderly gentleman greeted her. He hooked his thumbs under his suspenders and scrutinized her. “What can I do for you?”
“Your cradles are lovely,” Faith said. “Someday, when I am in need of one, I’ll be back.” And the minute the words left her lips, she knew it was true. Nothing would give her more satisfaction than laying her future baby down in one of the beautiful Amish-crafted cradles.
The man shrugged her compliment away and moved to a heavy table with six chairs. “So, what are you needing now?”
She swallowed. “I was wondering if you could tell me where I might find Nancy Yoder.”
“Nancy Yoder?” His eyebrows raised high on his forehead. “She’s right poorly these days. That’s what age will do to you. Why might you be asking?”
Faith’s shoulders sagged. Nancy Yoder had to be old if he was talking about what age was doing to her. There was no way Nancy Yoder could be her mother.
“Oh, I’d heard something. Well, I was mistaken. Uh … never mind.” She backed up toward the door. “But I’ll be seeing you in the future when I’m in need of a cradle.”
She turned and fled the shop, her spirits in her shoe. She’d struck out on every Nancy in Landover Creek. Tears filled her eyes and try as she might, she couldn’t keep them from falling down her cheeks. She felt an overwhelming urge to talk to Seth. She checked her phone for the time. He might be on a break.
She pressed his number and within seconds he was on the line.
“Faith?”
She opened her mouth to speak but all that came out were sobs.
“Faith! What’s happened?”
Again, she tried to speak but could do no more than cry.
“Faith, talk to me. Are you all right? What happened? Why are you crying?”
“None of them…” She put her hand over her mouth and gulped, trying to calm herself. “I’ve checked them all,” she said. “None of the Nancy’s here are my birth mother.”
“Aw, Faith. So fast? You found out so fast? I’m sorry.”
She sniffed and wiped her nose with her forearm. “It’s stupid. I don’t know why I’m crying.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“What did I expect?” she said, her voice trembling. “I’m so stupid.”
“Don’t say that. You’re not stupid. You were just hopeful.”
“Tell me the truth. Do you think this whole trip is stupid?” Faith knew she was acting petulant, but at that moment, she couldn’t help it. All her hopes seemed like those of a deluded little girl.
“Faith, you’ve only just begun looking. Didn’t you say that you were going to head south in Indiana if Landover Creek was a bust?”
She nodded, knowing Seth couldn’t see her. She blinked the last of her tears away, feeling some better after hearing Seth’s even, calm voice. “I was going to go to Hollybrook next.”
“So, there you are. And there are more places where the Amish live, aren’t there? I thought Indiana had quite a few settlements.”
“They do.”
“You’re going to find her, Faith. You are.” His voice held a note of urgency then, and Faith was surprised to hear it. She knew he hadn’t been excited about her trip, despite his reassurances. But now, hearing his voice, she realized he truly was rooting for her.
“Seth?”
“Yeah?”
“Thanks.”
She heard his quiet laugh. “Of course. Anytime.”
“I’ll head to Hollybrook tomorrow. I know they have a bed and breakfast, too. I’ll stay there.”
“Let me know when you arrive, will you?”
“I will.”
“Faith?”
“What?”
“Chin up.”
Her eyes misted over. “You’re right. Chin up.”
“I love you.”
She clenched her phone. “I love you, too. Talk to you later.”
Nancy fixed the evening meal with automatic movements. Set out the cold cuts. Rewarm the mashed potatoes. Slice the bread. Get out the mustard and mayonnaise. Fill a platter with celery, carrots, and cauliflower. Ask Debbie to set the table. Send the napkins out to the table with Gracie. Mash a bit of banana for the baby. Ask Jeremy to fetch his dat and little Jimmy—who would no doubt be helping Abel with the cows.
Nancy moved with practiced efficiency, but her mind was not on her tasks. An uneasy feeling had planted itself and grown in her all afternoon. She felt unbalanced. Unsettled. And she had no idea why. She was jumpy, as if at any moment, someone was going to leap out at her and spook her. Her eyes kept darting toward the kitchen door, expectantly.
But all she saw was her children, bustling about, helping her. Like usual.
Nancy wiped her hand over her forehead and was surprised to feel perspiration there. She leaned against the counter. What was the matter with her? With five children and a husband, she had no time for illness, or whatever it was that ailed her. No time at all.
“Mamm?” Gracie asked, tugging on her mother’s apron. “Can I go play with Annie after supper? I never got to see her for a lot of days.”
Nancy looked at Gracie’s wide gray eyes. “Jah, that should be fine. Debbie can go with you.”
Gracie grinned and turned to her big sister. “Will you come?”
Debbie nodded. “We ca
n play hide and seek.”
“But I don’t want to be it. I’m always stuck being it.”
“You have to be it if you get caught.”
“But I can’t run as fast as you guys.”
“Don’t matter. If you get caught, you get caught.”
Nancy watched Gracie’s face wrinkle in frustration. She turned to her older daughter. “Now, Debbie, you make sure that Gracie isn’t always it. If she’s always the one seeking and never the one hiding, it won’t be a bit of fun for her.”
“Aw, Mamm. I can’t help it if she runs like a crippled turtle.” Debbie giggled at her own silliness.
“I ain’t no turtle!” Gracie cried.
“Of course, you’re not,” Nancy assured her. “And you will get your chance to hide. Won’t she, Debbie?” Nancy gave her oldest girl a stern look.
“Jah, Mamm. She’ll get her turn.”
“More than once,” Nancy added.
“More than once,” Debbie repeated.
Nancy shooed them out to the dining area and finished carrying the food out just as the baby let out a howl. She quickly went back for the banana to feel her. She noticed that her hand trembled slightly as she reached for the small bowl of mashed fruit.
Chapter Eight
The next morning, Faith paid what she owed at the bed and breakfast, and with both regret and anticipation, she got into her car to head for Hollybrook. In her short time at Landover Creek, she’d grown unusually fond of the place. And after talking to both Seth and her mother the night before, her hopes of discovering something were renewed. She just needed to lower her expectations. Thinking that she was going to find her mother so easily was foolish and childish on her part. She was in this for the long haul, and she had to realize that it could indeed be a long haul.
Hollybrook was a few hours southwest of Landover Creek. She should easily be there by lunchtime. Her tank was full of gas, and the weather dawned bright and sunny. It was a perfect day for a drive.
And a perfect day to meet her birth mother.
Faith sighed. “Stop it!” she chastised herself. “I refuse to be unrealistic. I refuse.” She said it with force trying to convince herself. Then she laughed. “I guess I’m talking to myself out loud these days. Hmm. By the end of the trip, I’ll probably be answering myself.” She laughed again and rolled down her window.
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