Entrelacen

by Morales, Dani

  It had been a few days, and I still hadn’t heard from James. I started to get really worried. I thought maybe he wasn't just blowing me off that night. Maybe something happened to him. I finally got an alert on my phone from Myspace. I logged on and went into my messages:

  Hey April. This is James’s mom. He wanted me to get a hold of you and let you know that he’s in jail and won’t be able to call you like he said. As soon as he can, he’ll call you.

  So that was... well I don’t know what that was. I know what it’s like to be in jail because of my brother. He is all too familiar with it, so I replied to her message.

  Hey, I know you don’t know me, and you’re only letting me know what’s going on because he asked you to. I was wondering if I could have his inmate number and the address. I know from experience that mail helps them get through it in there. I appreciate you letting me know what’s going on.

  For the next few months we wrote back and forth, at least twice a week. I found out that he got arrested for assault down on the Las Vegas Strip because some guys pushed him, and he defended himself. For the first time I did something I never thought I would and actually sent him pictures of myself. It’s insecurity in its finest form. I knew he had seen me, but that was once and over a year ago. I'm a little embarrassed to admit that his letters were what really did me in. I was completely and totally in love with him. At least I thinkI’m.

  Summer came and went. I saved every single pay check from the Water Park, and boy were they nice pay checks! Working over 100 hours every two weeks seems like a lot, but I loved working at the water park. I was the front end manager and had a lot of fun. Nothing could be better than that. It’s August 31, 2007. Lee turned one! We was hanging out in a hanging bouncer on the porch while Matthew was running up and down the UHaul truck’s ramp.

  It was thrilling and unnerving at the same time. Picking up and moving to a completely new life, going somewhere that nobody knows my past felt…. wonderful. No one would know that I ran away once, that I was a cutter, or that I was once so shy that I let people walk all over me. This was my second chance at something new, and this was my chance to really be me. It’s funny when I looked back to when I was thirteen; I had such high hopes and dreams, yet nothing really accomplished. Next thing I knew I was twenty years old and running away from my old life into something new.

  We drove the eight hundred plus miles from Texas to Nevada. Getting a job was top priority. I started working two jobs. I was already making new friends. One of the best type of friend I could have made was this crazy girl Nicole. We started working at this retail shop at the same time and instantly clicked, which is beyond crazy since we both despise most girls. Nicole was a bit outspoken and hilarious. I was never bored when she was around. She had these amazingly expressive brown eyes, black hair, tattoos and piercings, and was totally not what you would expect. Then again when people first look at me, I’m probably not what they expect either. I got my first tattoo when I was fifteen. Everything in my life changed during that time in my life, and I felt like it needed to be documented. I don’t believe in getting random designs. Each one of my tattoos has a special meaning to me. The first one I got was my name; it’s on my right ankle. It’s something that’s not ever going to change but reminds me of who I’m every day. I think I got it because I really wanted to get my nose pierced, but my mom wouldn’t let me, however she allowed a tattoo. Backwards, right? Well she figured my name was never going to change, so oh well. Little did she know she just set me up for the biggest addiction of my life. I ended up getting my nose pierced when I turned sixteen anyways.

  It was downhill from there. The next tattoo was the Chinese symbol for faith. It covers the scar that was left behind from one of the bad times in my life. I remember it like it was yesterday...

  This floor is hard. It reminds me of life. Everyone always walking all over me, like the floor, no one cares if they scratch or destroy me. How pathetic I’m comparing myself to a floor. I don’t know what’s more pathetic: the fact that I’m doing the comparison or the fact that it’s true. Its funny how you can be surrounded many people but feel so alone. I woke up this morning so damn depressed that I decided I couldn't do it anymore, so I go get a towel and lay it down. I grab a razor and sit down on top of the towel. As I swipe the razor over my left wrist, I get interrupted, but not before I make contact.

  The past is supposed to stay in the past, but it never does. I got three more tattoos along the way: a trinity with my mom, a crescent moon and stars, and then a butterfly. Nicole was surprised when I let her know all about my tattoos because I still have that nerdy vibe. Hanging out with her put me at ease. She accepted me as me. She didn't ask about my past. It was a silent mutual understanding of each other. I knew she had a hard life and vice versa.

  We started working on the jean wall, and we ended up talking about James. I started to feel guilty because I hadn't written to him since we moved to Las Vegas; its now been six months. Our thing started to become too real, and my insecurities started to show their ugly headmore often now that I’m in the same state as him. I’ve never been the type to be overly confident or conceded, but I know I have a pretty face and I have a great personality once people get past my shyness. My problem is that I don’t have that “perfect” figure all guys want.

  A few months went by and my twenty-first birthday came around, so I went back to Texas to celebrate. You’re probably wondering why I would leave Vegas to go to Texas to celebrate right? Well to put it simply, I missed my group of friends. No one knows how to party like they do. So that’s what we did the whole week I was there. Days were filled with playing with Mathew and Lee. Nights were occupied with parties. Speaking of Mathew and Lee, the moment I stepped off the plane, I knew I was going to be getting some interesting news. Well, interesting might be the wrong word. Shocked, pissed off, and hundreds of other names that I won’t repeat work a lot better. Why, you ask. Well guess who was going to be having another baby, as if two weren’t enough? That’s right. My father and his wife Tiffany were having another child in about two months. I just looked at them, took the boys, and walked out. What the hell were they thinking? It’s like they didn't realize they weren't even able to raise the two they had. Why did they think they could take care of another one?

  One of the things that have always remained constant in my life was the guarantee that my father would always be unemployed. It amazed me that he still put himself first. I know he did it with me and my brother, but we were lucky enough to have a mother that cared enough to take notice. When I brought the boys home from the walk, I decided it was time to have chat with my dad. I mean someone had to, right? If he wasn’t going to man up, someone needed to step in and let him know how ridiculous he had been. Why not me?

  “Hey Dad. Can I talk to you for a second?” The whole time I was cringing inside because I knew that this conversation could turn into a major fight. Oh well. Guns up, right?

  “What’s up daughter?”

  “I know you’re supposed to be the adult, but you are acting childish. I absolutely adore my little brothers, but what the hell are you thinking by bringing another child into this world, into your family when you can’t even support the ones you have?”

  The look he had on his face was priceless. I don’t think I had ever seen my dad this shocked before. Immediately after, anger replaced the look of shock. You know when people say that the eyes are windows to the soul? Well, it’s true. I knew the moment he got angry just by looking at his eyes, and I braced myself. I seriously planted my feet and took on a fighting stance. Since that one night, fighting with him is something I take very seriously.

  “You’re right. I’m the adult, and what I do with MY family is my business, not yours. If we want to have more kids,we’re going to have more kids. It’s as simple as that. If you don’t like it, that’s too damn bad. You don’t have to be a part of it.”

  “One of these days those boys are going to be mine. At the rate you�
�re going, it’s going to be sooner rather than later.”

  With that said, I left. I don’t know why I even tried. He didn’t hear anything that was said. I’m so glad that I’m like my mother. She truly was my saving grace. Without her, who knows what my life would have ended up like?

  Chapter 12

  Logan I’m walking down Gillespie heading toward the first empty field. I see water bubblingupfrom the ground,but as I get closer, I can tellthesmellisdefinitely not water. It’s getting dark, and the sun is startingtoset behind the Red Rock Mountains, castingpinksandorangesinto the sky. It’s quiet, too quiet. My sensesare strainingtopick upanysound or movement. That’s when I catch it. A small flicker of light shinesthroughan opening in the abandoned house on the corner adjacent tothe field. Everythingis

  screamingat metorun.Idothe opposite. Iignore my intuitiontoflee andcreepmy way toawindow. The gravelisloud, crunchingunderneathmy shoes. My heart isbeatingfast, spreadingadrenaline into byblood stream; that’s the only thing I hear. The alternatingtempoof crunching gravelandmy rapidly beatingheart have caused even the birdstogostill.

  Imake it tothe window on the side of the house that the light shone from, but allIsee isempty shadows, cold and dark. Could it be possible that my mind was playingatrick on me?If that wasthe case, then why isevery single hair on my body standingat attention? That prickly feelingyou get when someone iswatching you makesits way downmy neck. Fear envelopesevery molecule of my being. This isit. He hasfinally come back for me. It takes everything in me to not run. I don’t want him tosense the fear that Iimagine isbeingbroadcastedtowhoever it was behindme. How didhe sneak upon me?

  Then comes the most chillingvoice I have ever heard. It was dark, deep, and terrifying. “It’stime Logan.We gave you the opportunity tocome touson your own, but we can wait no longer.”

  “Nothing was supposed to happen untilmy 18thbirthday unlessmy anger was able totake control. I stillhave afew months.”

  “No. We won’t wait that long, so make your choice now.”

  “My choice is the same as it was the day you stood infront of my house. I’llnot bend toyou or whoever you serve. My life is my own to command.”

  “So be it, but you are makinga huge mistake. I hope you are ready todeal withthe consequencesthat willcome from this.”

  He was gone.Iturnaround incircles tryingtolocate where he was,but allthat was around me was darkness. A breeze tore throughthe house, makingit come alive withcreepy soundsandcausingme toshiver. My attention isdrawnback to the empty lot. The sound of bubbling water is replaced by a gurgling. I startto make my way over tothe hole in the ground and see what Ithought waswater isthick and reekedof decayingflesh. The street light castsan eerie glow on the street. The ground that wasonce sandy in color is now a deepred.

  Istart toback away when the light catcheson somethingin the poolof blood, asilver bracelet. Abracelet that Inever wanted tosee covered by blood. In that instant,my feet have amind of their own andare makingtheir way tothe armI see. The body comes intofocus,andIdrop to my knees. It’s flowing all around me now, encasingme in thistorment and agony. My mother.

  I woke up gasping for air, tangled in the sheets of my bed. It was just a dream Logan. I knew it wasn’t though. It was a warning of what was to come. The smell of death was still clinging to my skin. I still felt the warmth of the blood on my knees and the overwhelming heartache of seeing her lying there motionless.

  I kept having this dream over and over again over the following few weeks. Before I knew it, Deandra would be coming into town for Christmas. I couldn't help but not want D here. I wanted to see her, but if this was going to happen soon, and I know it would, I wanted her far from here. Have you ever heard of the saying, “Be careful what you wish for??” Well it’s true. I got a call from Deandra the next day saying she wasn’t going to make it because her dad had to go away on business. The relief of hearing this was instantaneous. I knew D would have gotten hurt if she was here when

  everything went down. She is fierce and protective and would have done anything she could to help me.

  I could feel it coming closer. It’s like a black cloud was hanging around and slowly expanding to cover the valley. The air was charged with an unseen electrical force. The pigeons that were usually walking in the streets ignoring the cars have all but disappeared. The spiders and bugs went into hiding. The dogs that used to bark constantly were suddenly quiet.

  Time moves slow when you are waiting for something that you really want. It’s like the clock stops just to piss you off. I wished it would have stopped in this instance. Though I knew I needed to be ready for whatever was coming for me, or my mom, I was not. I wasn't prepared for this fight; I didn't even know what I would be fighting. All I knew was that I wouldn't let anyone tell me what to do. The darkness had been growing within me. I felt it the moment it came alive. It was at the same time I noticed all the subtle changes taking place in the neighborhood. It was once bright and full of life. Kids would play in the yard, dogs would bark, and laughter was all around me. Not anymore! Toys were deserted around people’s yards. I had not seen or heard a dog in weeks.

  It was the end of January, which meant I had 16 days until the big day. The month had passed by in matter of moments. It was Christmas one day and the countdown to my birthday the next. My birthday was not going to be epic because I would finally be an adult. It would be life changing because well, my life was going to be forever altered. The one thing I wanted to do before my life could possibly end was graduate. Since I was always focused on school, I already had enough credits to graduate, so I talked to the principle and guidance counsellor. They agreed that I could get my diploma. They tried to talk me into staying and graduating with honors’, but I declined. I knew things were about to get hard, and going to school was one less thing for me to worry about.

  I was outside looking at all the gloomy houses, when I looked to the right at my next door neighbors’ house. Agatha was sitting outside on her porch looking around like I was. She had this look on her face that grew more somber as her face passed each house, lingering on the children’s toys. She then looked at the sky. It was like she was praying. It allowed me a moment to fully take her in. It had been a while since I had spoken to her. She looked the same, no older but maybe more wise. We had been living next door to each other for about 3 years.

  Agatha was this old lady about 5 foot 2 inches. She wore these summer dresses when the weather permitted it and wore these colorful wind suits when it was cold. Her eyes were always this electric blue like there was a constant neon light being cast through from the inside. Her smile was bright like the sun, even though she was missing some teeth. When she smiled at you, it was so

  contagious that you automatically smiled back. Being in a bad mood around Agatha was almost impossible. She reminded me of the sun actually, with her golden eyes, radiant smile, and a way to make you feel at ease.

  As if she could sense me thinking about her, she turned and looked straight at me with one of those megawatt smiles. Her face was different though. The smile was just as contagious, but her eyes lacked the happiness normally there. It’s like whatever affected the world around us was also affecting her. Maybe it was, but in a different way.

  “Well if It’sn’t Logan. What are doing sitting outside on a day like this? Shouldn’t you be at school right now?”

  “Well Agatha, if I sit inside too long, I end up thinking about everything that’s out here anyways, so I figured I might as well take in some fresh air. I’m done with school. Since I was ahead with credits, they let me graduate already.”

  “Boy you know this air isn’t fresh no more, but I understand. Congratulations on graduating. I bet your mom is proud!”

  I just smiled and began to wonder how Agatha fit into all of this. She definitely knew what was going on outside. It was obvious since we were the only two people out there. I’ve never been one to express my thoughts, being more of an introvert, but being around Agatha usually made me say whatever I
was thinking.

  “My mom told me what’s wrong with me and said when the time comes, I should trust you. Do you know when “it” is coming?”

  “Your mother is very wise, and you will learn to trust me in time boy. However, what is coming doesn’t go by one name but by many. It’s uncertain when it will be here, but it’s very close.”

  I knew she was lying to me about when it’s going to get here. I knew she felt it in the air like I did. Was Agatha like me or Mom?

  As if she could hear my thoughts, she said, “I’m more like your mom Logan, but she is from a family of protectors. I come from a family with no magical background.”

  “How is that possible?”

  “The same way people are born into magic, by being blessed by the goddess. Anyone can practice the craft Logan, but it takes a natural to bend the ways of the craft.”

  “I know you’re not being totally honest with me. I know you have your reasons, like they did when they came to me. I also know the darkness is closer than what we would like. He was able to reach me in my dreams.”

  That captured her full undivided attention. Her look made me think that what we were waiting for was just around the corner. Maybe it was.

  “What do you dream about Logan?”

  “He keeps giving me the chance to go with them, and when I turn them down, I see mom dead covered in blood.”

  The look on her face was one of awe and sadness. I understood the sadness, not so much the awe.

  “They can reach you in your

  dreams, and It’s the same every time? That speaks highly of what you are capable of. You should just be able to see and feel their presence when you are awake, but seeing them and turning them down constantly shows your strength. That’s very good.”

  I noticed that she ignored the part about me always seeing mom dead. That’s when I knew it was not a warning; it was the future, and it’s her destiny. Maybe that’s what the universe was saying that I was going to have to come to terms with in order to fulfil the path they saw before me. Maybe that’s why I was allowed to see that part of the dream. Usually when someone’s death was involved I would wake up immediately. I started preparing myself emotionally. I had been working on ways to block my anger; the sadness of feeling the death of my mom would trigger that anger. I needed to deal with it now.