Parents start collecting the bags of books they’ve bought as well as a few sleeping children. I carry Snow White out to the car with her mother and get ready to have lunch with Logan. Thinking about it sets my blood on fire, the butterflies that have been resting start to fly again, and my nerves make my palms sweat. I make my way back inside, head to the bathroom to wash my hands, and mentally prepare myself for this. It shouldn't be such a big deal though because we’re just friends, and friends have lunch, right?
I head to the new age section to see if Gran has made it here yet and see that she’s sitting at the table with enough food to feed everyone in the store.
“Good afternoon April.”
“Hey Gran. Are you planning to feed everyone here today?”
She chuckles, although it sounds more like a cackle. “No child, just you and my boy. Have you seen the way he eats? It might be best to get a plate now while he’s occupied up front.”
I laugh, and she looks at me surprised. “What is it gran?”
“It’s the first time I’ve heard you laugh and seem worry free.”
“I like being here. It feels like home. My boys are good, life is good.”
“Does life being good have anything to do with him?” she says, pointing out toward the front of the store. I had to stop and think about it. Does it? I was happy when I got custody of the boys, excited when we were able to move back to Las Vegas, and thrilled when I landed this job. So did Logan have anything to deal with the smile on my face right now? It’s very possible.
“I would be lying if I said no. Yes, he has something to do with it. It’s always good to make new friends, and I feel like I can trust him. It’s like we have a deeper connection somehow.”
“Who has something to do with what and has a deep connection with you?”
I turn around, though I already know who It’s by the voice, to see Logan standing in the door way looking slightly amused and worried. I could stare at him all day. He is wearing his typical jeans and a tshirt that has the word TRUTH written across his chest, along with his signature Vans. His hair is messy but neat. It’s always the eyes that draw me in though, so I try to avoid looking at them. Gran answers for me.
“Now boy, if that was any of your business, you would have been in here for the whole
conversation, now wouldn’t ya?”
“Ah Gran. Come on, you know I wasn’t trying to be nosey.”
I laugh. “It’s okay Logan. Maybe I’ll tell you about it over lunch.”
That earns me a smile from him and a look from Gran.
Be careful April. You deserve to be happy, but you have a bigger destiny ahead of you, and so does Logan. If you decide to go down this path, then be honest. He deserves to make the choice.
I look around, and my gaze to lands on Gran. She’s smiling at me, so I raise my eyebrows, and she nods discretely. So I decide to try something out.
Don’t worry Gran. I wouldn’t hurt him intentionally, and I know I have a bigger destiny, but is it wrong to want to include Logan in that too? I’ll let him know about my kiddos. You are right; he does deserve to know that. I’m not looking for anything more than friendship. I can keep him at arm’s length if needed.
Her eyes widen, showing me that I projected my words directly to her. I look at Logan to see him studying us. Wait, did I say it out loud?
“So are you ready for that lunch Logan? I have to leave soon.”
“Uh, yeah.” He’s looking at gran like he knows something is going but doesn’t want to be obvious about it.
“I’ll take the stuff outside. Can you grab the drinks?”
“Sure.” He walks out the door.
“He knows you are different April, but this is a conversation that needs to take place between the both of you.”
“Okay Gran. Thanks again for the lunch.” I smile and walk out the door to have lunch with Logan.
It’s a beautiful day, so I raise my face to the sky to feel the warmth on my skin. I smile
automatically. That's when I feel his eyes on me, so I open mine and look right at him. I don’t think I’m ever going to get over how gorgeous he is.
“What?”
I feel selfconscious, like there’s something wrong with what I’m wearing, or there’s something on my face.
“Nothing. So what just happened back there with Gram and this connection you share with someone? Who is he?”
“Well, I guess we can do this now. Okay, so you know that I’m originally from Texas, right? Well part of the reason I came to this bookstore was because I love to read. Books are somewhat of a passion of mine, but when I came here and ran into you, literally, the store felt like home. It's like I belong here.”
“So that didn’t answer any of my questions" he says while laughing.
“I’m getting to it.” I laugh, which only makes him smile. “I spoke to Gran that day and found out she can hear my thoughts, but just now, I don’t think it was her hearing my thoughts as much as it was me projecting mine. Before you think I’m crazy, that’s what just happened. We had a small conversation in our head.” I look everywhere but at him. He’s definitely going to think I’m crazy. I take the chance and look up at him. He is watching me with a look of wonder. Then, he speaks.
Chapter 26
Logan Okay, that explains what happened inside with Gran. Wow. That's awesome that she can project her thoughts. I wonder if she could do that with me. I’ve never thought about practicing whatever ‘ability’ I might have because I thought it was all over. Maybe it’s just beginning, and this is why I’m here. Maybe she’s the one I’m supposed to protect. Mom said it could be an object or a person, so maybe I’ve found my charge.
What I’m feeling toward her is more than protectiveness though. I wish I could ask Mom how I would know when I meet the person I’m meant to protect. So many questions are swirling through my mind.
“Okay you said you projected your thoughts to Gran. Did you do that the first time you were here?”
She is clearly trying not to look at me. When she finally does, I don't want to see what I see in her eyes. Indecision, worry, fear. I’m all too familiar with those feelings. Seeing her fight them makes me want to take it all away.
“No. I didn’t intentionally project them to her, but I was thinking loudly. Why aren’t you afraid of me or thinking that I’m crazy?”
Is that fear I see in her eyes? Is she afraid I’m going to think she’s crazy? If she only knew that all I want to do is take her away and protect her, she wouldn't be so terrified. She has to be the one I'm supposed to protect.
“April, I’m far from being afraid of you. You are not crazy, so don’t think that. Let me tell you something about myself, and then we can get back to the other question you seem to be avoiding.”
I smirk at her, knowing it will bring a blush. As if on cue, her face turns a gorgeous shade of light pink. So I debate on where to begin. I don’t want to lie to her; I’m not sure I could even if I wanted to. I’ll just gloss over some of it. That’s not the same thing as lying, right?
“As a kid my dad was abusive. My mom would try to hide me from him so he couldn’t hurt me. One night I tried to help her after she hid me. I was seven.”
I pause to let it sink in and take a look at her face. Horror lines her face. Her eyes are wide, and her hand covers her mouth, while the other is fisted over her heart.
I clear my throat, “That’s when my mom and I left. We were always on the run and never stayed in the same place long, until we moved here to Vegas. Then he found us. I was 13 and Agatha lived next door. I was able to get him away from my mom. He put me in the hospital that night. He’s in jail now.”
My head starts hurting. I don’t want to go on, but I know she deserves to know. So I continue, not looking at her, but past her.
“Then strange things started happening. I started having dreams about my mom’s death. This guy stalked me and talked to me inside my head. Then I had another dream saying I was dest
ined for something more." I sighed, “That’s when I talked to mom. She said we came from a long line of protectors. She told me about my dad and the amulet he stole from her. On my 18th birthday ‘they’ came for me and said I belonged to them. They killed my mom. I had a choice to make.
Apparently I made the right decision, but I ended up losing four years of my life.”
I finally look at her. She’s looking at me with... longing... That can’t be right. I basically just told her that my life is cursed. How can she look at me like that? She’s taking this all rather well. That has me concerned about what she could possibly be hiding from me.
“Do you think the coma was caused by the choice you made?" She asks in wonder.
“That’s a good question. I've thought about it a lot. It’s the only thing that makes sense because the doctors didn’t find anything wrong with me.”
I have only known April a few days, but it seems like so much longer. The only other person I’ve ever felt this comfortable around was Deandra, but this is
completely different. There’s more than the feeling of friendship. With Deandra, it was like we were the same. With April, there is a raw need, an ache that can only be taken away with nearness. She makes me feel something more than the
suppressed anger that I still carry around.
”Now back to the topic on hand. Don’t think I didn’t realize that you left part of my question unanswered.”
She looks down at the table, nibbling on her lip, and takes a deep breath. Maybe I don’t want to hear who’s making her happy now.
“I know we’ve only known each other a few days, but the connection I was talking to Gran about when you walked in was... well, it was you.”
She drops her gaze and looks around, not looking at my face. My heart skips a beat and then pounds the
pavement like it’s trying to escape my chest.
She continues on, “I know it sounds ridiculous, but that day I ran into you, I felt safe. I thought it was just because I haven’t had any real contact with a guy in two years. Wait! I, uh, I didn’t mean it like that, well hell.”
I'm smiling like an idiot. She's blushing because she's just realized what she said and she tried to back track with no success. I'm trying really hard not to laugh, but the longer she tries to avoid my gaze, it escapes.
She narrows her eyes at me in a scowl. Now I know I’m lacking in
experience when it comes to girls and relationships, but aren’t scowls supposed to make you cringe? I mean, when I would get the scowl from mom, I would drop everything and do what she told me to because it was scary. Well April has that look down, but it doesn’t make me stop laughing. It makes me laugh harder, and the scowl deepens. It only furthers my attraction towards her.
That scowl is quite possibly the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.
“If you’re just going to laugh at me, I think I’ll take off early.” She practically growls at me.
Have you ever heard a girl growl at you? Can you say hot? I want to grab her by the arms and pin her up against the door. “Wait, I’m not laughing at you. I’m laughing more at myself.”
“Whatever Logan.”
“Don’t be mad April. If it makes you feel any better, I feel that same
connection.”
That catches her attention. It also makes our gazes lock onto each other. I watch as her eyes, which are a deep green today, move back and forth trying to read mine. I can still tell that she is hiding something else, but she isn't totally sure about me yet. I don't want to push her, so I let it go. For now.
Chapter 27
April I can’t believe I just told him that I haven’t had any contact with a guy for two years. Epic fail April. I also learned some things about him, things that I wish I could takeaway Maybe that’s what the dream was about. I never did ask Gran about that. How was I able to be there and see everything without him seeing me? I know he felt a presence because he turned around to face me, but he was like he was looking through me without seeing me.
He feels the same connection I do? What does this all mean? How can it be so frustrating? I want to be friends with him, but this complicates things, especially when he looks at me like he wants to ravage me in front of everyone, damn the
consequences. I don’t think I’ll be able to stay away much longer.
As I search his eyes, I see honesty and trust. His eyes are begging me to trust him. I can’t though, not yet. He can see through me when he looks in my eyes, so I lower my gaze. It’s not just about me. I have the boys now; they will always be my priority. As much as I want this with him, it can’t happen. My heart breaks just a little.
“What is it April?” He sounds so concerned, like he would take away all of my pain if he could.
The bittersweet thing, is that I would do the same for him. It’s not the right time to tell him about the boys. I’m going to have to do it soon though. I won’t be able to stay away much longer.
“Ugh, I have to go. This was nice. Thanks again for filling in the blanks in your life and umm, listening to me.”
I get up and practically run to the door before he can try to stop me. Gran sees my face, shakes her head, and tells me to take the rest of the day off. I head straight out the door into the safety of my car. I make it home very quickly and have about forty-five minutes before I need to go pick up Michael, so I start cleaning. I set an alarm on my phone, put my ear buds in, and play some music.
I do the quickest cleaning job ever. The kitchen is spotless, the laundry is drying, downstairs bathrooms are cleaned, and the living room is in order. Jumping back in the car to go get Michael, I start thinking about everything. Would it really be so bad to let him know I have kids? I almost feel ashamed of myself that I’m keeping such a big secret from him. Putting it out of my mind for now, I focus on the kids. I decide to pick up the other two at the same time since I don’t have to go back in tonight. We get home, do some homework, and order some pizza for dinner.
SinceIt’s Friday, I let the boys pick out some movies, so we can stay up and hang out like we used to. They’re beyond excited. I decide we should do this every Friday. They all crash out pretty early, so I take each one of them upstairs to bed. I grab my book to read some more. It’s late when I get a text.
April, Logan is going to be taking a few weeks off, you don't mind opening and closing all week do you?
He can’t be taking off because of me, can he? I reply back and tell her that’s fine. Now I’m really not in the mood to finish the book, so I head up stairs to go to bed.
******
The next two weeks go by slowly. One morning, I get to work before Gran does and start opening up everything. As it gets closer to summer, the weather is getting warmer. Today it looks like it might rain though. That thought has me feeling excited. It doesn't rain much in Vegas, and the last two weeks have been long and slightly depressing, so it seems like a good time for gloomy weather. I haven’t talked to Logan since I bailed on our lunch. He’s supposed to come in around lunch today, and I’m slightly nervous. I don’t know what he’s been up to or where we stand, but I know it’s time he knows about the boys.
I had a talk with Mathew last night, and it went better than I thought it would. Preoccupied with thinking about our conversation, I’m running around the store on autopilot.
“Hey Mathew, can I talk to you for a few minutes?”
He stopped running after the boys outside and sat next to me on the dirt floor. The construction was still going on at the house. Apparently one of the guys hit a line while he was digging, and it set them back a few weeks.
Brushing some dirt off of his hands, “Sure April, I mean Mom, what’s up?”
“Mathew I told you, you don’t have to call me mom. Don't force it. It’s okay to call me April.”
“Okay.”
“Okay. I have this friend I work with at the bookstore, and I was wondering if you would like to meet him. I want you to know I’ll always ask you before I bring anyo
ne to our home. You boys come first, you understand?”
“I understand. You can bring him, maybe he’ll play with us like Anthony does when he comes over.”
His eyes lit up. The poor kid surrounded by women. The boys could use some male interaction. “Okay. If I see him at work tomorrow, I should ask him to come hangout with us?”
“Sure! Maybe he will play outside with us. We can team up and have a water balloon fight!”
I laughed so hard at the expression on his face. He gave me that look that said ‘what’, and I just laughed harder.
“Okay mom you are being weird. Can I go back to play before we take baths and go to bed?”
“Of course. You boys have another twenty minutes before coming in.” I shouted the last part, so Lee and Michael could hear me.
The door opens to the store, and my thoughts are pushed to the side. I look around to see no one in the store. Hmm, that’s odd. Maybe whoever it was walked out? I go to the door to look outside, and there’s no one there. Shrugging my shoulders, I make coffee and set the donuts I bought down on the counter. Then, I fix the few books I see that are out of place.
It’s eerily quiet. The hairs on the back of my neck stand up alerting me to someone or something behind me. The temperature around me is dropping fast. My breath is starting to show as I exhale. As much as I want to turn around to face whatever It’s, my body is frozen in place.
“You must be April.” The voice isn’t male or female, but a mixture of both. How’s that possible? It’s husky and deep like a man’s, but holds a feminine quality. It sets me on edge, and my walls go up.
“Obviously, you know that, or you wouldn’t be here.” I reply defensively.
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