I look at Logan and mouth 'Later' to him. He smiles, picks up Michael, and charges up the stairs to play with the boys. God, I love that man. That’s when my mom and Gran walk in. Everything is perfect, at least as perfect as it can be.
Epilogue
Logan
(1 year later) It’s crazy to think that exactly one year ago today I almost lost the love of my life. Is that cheesy to say? Probably. You would have never heard those words come out of my mouth until the day I met April. She completely turned my world around.
I’m standing in the doorway of the new age area staring at the beautiful girl behind the counter reading another book. I can stare at her for hours. Every day I memorize the way the sunlight plays in her hair and the way it casts shadows across her face. I’ve never seen such beauty, and I thank the stars for each moment I’m blessed with her presence. Tonight is the night that I take her away to make her my wife.
April wanted to wait to make sure nothing else was going to spring up on us. If it was up to me, we would have gotten married the day she came home to me. I had a few things to do at the store today, but now that I’m done, I couldn’t be more excited about going to get ready for the big day.
We decided to have a pagan ceremony since we met at the bookstore. Plus, after everything that had happened, it just seemed right. Mom and Gran are at the clearing setting everything up. There are a few things that have to be done, like casting a protective circle and finding friends to stand around us. Another interesting part of the ceremony is when the bride and groom get their hands tied together. I thought they were insane at first, but April really wants to do it, so how could I say no?
April starts to fidget under my stare and looks up. "What?”
“Nothing babe. I’m done. Are you ready?” I ask.
She looks at me shyly. “I’m always ready.”
We leave the store and head home to get ready. I won’t get to see April again until the ceremony. Her friend Nicole is at the house now, so she can help April. We pull up. I give her a kiss and tell her that I’ll see her in soon.
I drive to the clearing out in the Red Rock Mountains. The last time I was here, we were fighting to protect Mathew, and April died. I head to one of the tents that are set up to get changed. Luckily I don’t have to look like a penguin like most grooms do. I get to my tent and see that a pair of dark blues jeans, a royal blue button up, and my Vans are waiting for me. I start to get dressed and run through my vows. I chose to read a poem. I don’t think I’ve ever been this nervous.
I’m pacing in the tent when the boys come into it. They’re all wearing similar clothes, dark blue jeans and black button down shirts. I smile at them. I can tell that they’re so excited. I’m amazed at how easily they accepted me into their family.
“Momma looks really pretty, Dad,” Lee says.
It still surprises me when they call me Dad, but I love it. “Momma always looks pretty, Lee.”
Mathew is looking at me. “Let’s go out there before Mom starts freaking out.”
I laugh. “You're right. She will probably hunt us down.”
We all laugh as we make our way out of the tent. The priestess is standing in the circle that Mom, Gran, Nicole and her husband are starting to form. The boys close the circle in between their two grandmothers. I’m standing next to the priestess when April walks out of her tent and makes her way to the circle. All the nerves quickly leave my body and are replaced with undying love.
April can still take my breath away when she walks into a room. Everything fades away except for her and me. She’s in a strapless royal blue dress that flows around her legs. Her golden skin stands out against the blue dress. Her eyes are a blue-green outlined with black eyeliner, and her blonde hair is curled at the tips. She’s absolutely stunning, and I can’t take my eyes off her. She comes to stand in front of me and the Priestess. She has that gorgeous smile that’s brighter than the sun.
The instrumental song I chose to be played during our ceremony begins. April eyes water to the music of Rascal Flatts “God Bless the Broken Road” as the priestess begins our ceremony.
“I Ravenmoon, High Priestess call us together here to celebrate the joining together of April and Logan. There are many things to say about marriage. Much wisdom, concerning the joining together of two souls, has come our way through all paths of belief and from many cultures. With each union, more knowledge is gained and more wisdom gathered. Though we’re unable to give all this knowledge to these two, who stand before us, we can hope to leave with them the knowledge of love and its strengths and the anticipation of the wisdom that comes with time. The law of life is love unto all beings. Without love, life is nothing; without love, death has no redemption. Love is anterior to Life, posterior to Death, initial of Creation and the
exponent of Earth. If we learn no more in life, let it be this. “
“Marriage is a bond to be entered into only after considerable thought and reflection. As with any aspect of life, it has its cycles, its ups and its downs, its trials and its triumphs. With full understanding of this, Logan and April have come here today to be joined as one in marriage," she pauses for a second. ”Others would ask, at this time, who gives the bride in marriage, but, as a woman is not
property to be bought and sold, given and taken, I ask simply if she comes of her own will and if she has her family's blessing. “
April nods her head, and the priestess continues,“There are children who will share in this marriage. The gathering of this new family will have a deep influence upon them. It will both complicate and enrich their lives. They will also have much to contribute to this new family. We realize that in order for the home to be a happy one, It’s essential that there be love and understanding between the children and the adults being married. “
“Is your love for each other broad enough to include Mathew, Lee, Michael and deep enough to honor her presence in this marriage and to pledge yourselves to love and care for them?" Ravenmoon asks.
“Yes It’s,” April and I say together.
“Your family relationship is
symbolized through the pouring of these individual containers of sand; one,
representing April, one representing Logan, and one container for Mathew, Lee, and Michael.”
She hands me the container with blue sand, April the container with pink, and Mathew the container with purple sand. Then she turns to the boys.
“Mathew, Lee, and Michael, you are a vital part of this new marriage. April and Logan give you their unconditional love and honor your presence in their lives. You will have a share in this union, for your lives will be touched by the covenant being made here today. Your participation is requested to help develop the bonds of a new family. “
“As April and Logan have exchanged their pledges in holy union, we ask from you also a pledge, that you will join together to weave a fabric of mutual help and comfort, of challenge and support, and that you will help create a home and a way of life in which all of you may grow into the fullness of the best people you can be."
“As you each hold your sand, the separate containers of sand represent your lives to this moment; individual and unique. As you now combine your sand together, your lives also join together as one family.”
She motions for us to start pouring our containers of sand into a different one.
“Just as these grains of sand can never be separated and poured again into the individual containers, so will your marriage and your family be."
She grabs my right hand and puts April’s left hand in mine. She takes a pink, blue, black, red, and purple ribbon bunched together and ties our hands together. Once she’s done with that, she recites, “These are the hands of your best friend, young and strong and full of love for you, that are holding yours on your wedding day, as you promise to love each other today, tomorrow, and forever. These are the hands that will work alongside yours, as together you build your future. These are the hands that will passionately love yo
u and cherish you through the years, and with the slightest touch, will comfort you like no other. These are the hands that will hold you when fear or grief fills your mind. These are the hands that will countless times wipe the tears from your eyes; tears of sorrow, and tears of joy. These are the hands that will tenderly hold your children. These are the hands that will help you to hold your family as one. These are the hands that will give you strength when you need it. And lastly, these are the hands that, even when aged, will still be reaching for yours, still giving you the same unspoken
tenderness with just a touch."
April has a steady stream of tears coming down, and I use my free hand to wipe them away.
“If you have vows you wish to speak, now is your time," Ravenmoon states.
April clears her throat and says, “Maybe…We’re supposed to meet the wrong person before meeting the Right one, so that when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for that gift. Maybe...It’s true that we don't know what we have until we lose it, but It’s also true that we don't know what we have been missing until it arrives. Maybe...the happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes their Way. Maybe...the best kind of love is the kind where you can sit on a sofa Together never saying a word and then walk away feeling like it was the best Conversation you've ever had. Maybe...you shouldn't go for looks; they can deceive. Don't go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright. Maybe...you should hope for enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, and enough hope to make you happy. Maybe Love is not about finding the perfect person; it's about learning to see an imperfect person perfectly. When you do what you can, love will do what you can't.”
She brings our tied hands up to her mouth and kisses them. I hold back the tears in my eyes, clear my voice, and say the one poem I know she loves.
“ I carryyour heart with me I carry it in my heart I’m never without it anywhere I go
you go, my dear; and whatever is done by only me is you’re doing, my darling I fear no fate for you are my fate, my sweet I
want no world or beautiful you are my world, my true and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant and whatever a sun will always sing is you here is the deepest secret nobody knows here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart I carry your heart I carry it in my heart” Everyone is crying around us. Then Ravenmoon speaks, “Blessed be.”
Everyone around us whispers, “Blessed be.” Then April and I are jumping over the broom on the floor, sealing our marriage.
… 11 months later It’s like déjà vu. You know the moment when everything seems so surreal that you’re constantly looking over your shoulder and waiting for something? That’s how I feel right now. I’m holding a tiny 6lb 8oz baby girl in my hands. For the life of me, I can’t believe how right it feels.
I was sure when Logan and I got married, all hell was going to break loose. We both kept waiting for the other shoe to drop. We waited for the legion of darkness to rain on our parade, but it never happened. The only logical explanations I can come up with is that they either gave up, or they’re waiting for a specific moment to surprise us.
Logan keeps trying to reassure me tha t it’s over. He says that I already took care of our family, but the little girl in my arms is just too important to not consider the danger. I know it; he knows it, but he just refuses to acknowledge it. She is a gorgeous surprise, a dream fulfilled. You might be wondering why I consider her a dream, right? Well, when I had my miscarriage, I was also told that the chances of me having my own child were slim to none. If I did manage to get pregnant, it would most likely end in another miscarriage. Yet here she is.
I was so scared when we found out we were pregnant. Logan was thrilled. Then he became worried once I told him all of this. He was convinced that everything would be okay. The boys were excited when we found out that it was going to be a girl. I refused to buy anything or have a baby shower until the delivery date was closer. Why take the chance on jinxing myself?
I fully expected to blow up like a house because I was already overweight, but I didn’t. I just looked like I had gained a few pounds and had a ball under my shirt. I’ve never felt more beautiful than I did when I was pregnant. I felt like there was a constant light shining out of me. Logan couldn’t keep his hands off of me. We were like that before, always holding hands, but each month of the pregnancy it got more and more ridiculous. I loved every minute of it. He was always next to me, not letting me do anything. Even the boys started following him. The house was always clean, and the boys didn’t argue… it was perfect.
When she started moving around inside of me, I was so excited. Nothing compares to the feeling of life growing inside of you. The boys got a kick out of it. They would poke a spot on my tummy, and she would poke back. So much love was blessing us that I knew deep down that something was lurking on the horizon. Then it happened. I was walking from the bedroom to the kitchen to get some water when my water broke. The boys were at their Grandma's house, Logan was at the bookstore, and I was alone.
I went back to my room to grab the hospital bag and my cell phone. That’s when the pain started. I kept telling myself that it was going to be okay. I was silently cursing Logan for no reason other than the fact he was at our store instead of with me. When the pain let up, I called Logan.
“Hey baby -” he started to say.
“Logan, I need you to come home now,” I managed to squeeze out through another set of contractions.
“April, what’s wrong?” His voice was laced with worry.
“Well, it looks like she’s just as impatient to see us as we’re to see her. My water broke, and I can’t drive myself to the hospital. Before you tell me to call an ambulance, I refuse to ride in one of those, so just get your ass home. Now!” I said, hanging up the phone.
Holy hell! They never say how much pain you’re going to be in when the contractions start. At least our little girl was going to be here soon. I had not even picked out a name yet! Logan busted through the door and practically carried me to the car. I laughed the entire way to the car. Then I squeezed his hand the entire ride to the hospital. Luckily it was just a few miles down the road.
I checked into St. Rose Dominican Hospital on May 12 at 11am. I was put into a room immediately. Four hours later, my 6 pound baby girl was born at 3pm. It was so quick that I was able to do it without any drugs. After just a few pushes, I heard crying. The most beautiful sound ever. As soon as she was placed in my arms, I knew. I knew that this moment was going to be forever imprinted into my mind.
Now Logan is staring at us with such a proud expression.
“Well Dad, what should we name her?” I ask him. The look on his face is priceless.
“I’m a dad. I mean, I know I’m a dad, but April, I’m a dad," he goes on, in a state of shock.
I laugh at him and nod my head. "Yes youare.”
“How about we name her Amaya Rayne Mathews?" His eyes are glowing as he asks this.
I look at her and ask, “What do you think? Amaya Rayne? Do you like that?”
She opens her sparkling blue eyes wide and blinks a couple of times before she shuts them again.
“Amaya Rayne Mathews, It’s," I say as Logan leans down to kiss me.
I have heard stories about how most babies stay up all night, and the parents get so tired that they can't function. Not us. It’s the one time in my life that I wouldn’t mind staying up all night, but Amaya sleeps through the night. The boys have the rooms upstairs, just in case she does cry, she won't wake them up. Logan has gone into remodeling mode. He was able to add a small nursery downstairs next to our room.
Gran gave us t
he bookstore as our wedding gift, and it’s doing extremely well. Everything is wonderful. I was blessed with the boys, I found love with Logan, and now I have found the missing piece that I didn’t know was missing until Amaya was born. I know there is going to be a day when she is older that something bad is going to happen. I feel them around sometimes, lurking in the shadows, but they can’t get close. It doesn’t matter though. Like the day I had to protect Mathew, I’ll be there for her. So will Logan and her three over protective brothers.
Our lives, entrelacen. Forever and Always.
Acknowledgments
Every story comes from somewhere, an experience, a dream, an idea that’s taken off and completely consumes you until you are writing it down. Part of April is based on experiences from my own life, then fantasized and formed to be what It’s now. Entrelacen, though based on reality, came to be when I was talking to my friend Heather. After working on me for months, I finally decided to give it a try. What could it hurt? With the support of my friends Heather, Christina, Emma, and Rachel Entrelacen was able to take on a life of its own. To Katie Woodard a long-time friend who took the time to edit Entrelacen making it what It’s, thank you.
Thanks to my mom and my three boys for allowing me time to actually sit down and write, if not for them this wouldn’t be possible. I’ve always been a firm believer that everything happens for a reason and when one door closes another door opens. So here’s to closing the door on the past and opening the door to the future with each of them. I love each and every one of you and couldn’t be more proud of y’all.
To Emma Hart who is the creative genius to the Cover Art, it wouldn’t have been that amazing with you. You have some amazing talent in designing covers as well as in writing what goes between them. Thank you for everything, including hearing me freak out constantly about this book, and giving me the courage to move forward.
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