by Naomi West
She put Cutter's comb back on the lip of the sink and grabbed her clothes off the floor. As if on cue, her stomach grumbled again. She hadn't eaten anything all day, she realized, except for a light breakfast before leaving for the church that morning. She smiled to herself. She'd started out this day dreading how it would end, how this wedding would have been a change for the worse. By now, she would have been Mrs. Liona West. But, instead of locking her into a fate worse than death, this was a different change. It was one of rebirth. Her whole life stretched out ahead of her, a completely different one than she would have ever imagined a year before. This new life may have been a scary one, with its fair share of trials and tribulations, but at least that big and scary life would be hers and no one else's.
Chapter 12
Cutter
Liona took long enough to get dressed and find him in the kitchen that Cutter almost began to think she'd pulled another vanishing act, this time on him. Honestly, he wouldn't have blamed her for doing it a second time around. He and the rest of the MC weren't exactly the most savory of characters. They may have been knights to her damsel in distress, but they sure as hell weren't wearing shining armor.
He looked up from where he was prepping the cheese for their sandwiches when she walked through the swinging door into their small commercial-grade kitchen. “Took you long enough,” he said, jibing her a little.
She gave him a half-smile as she looked around. “Nice setup,” she replied, ignoring his comment.
“Thanks. When you gotta cook for a dozen or more people on a regular basis, it helps to have a full-scale kitchen. Should've seen this place when we first moved in.”
“That bad?”
“Yeah. Would've been lucky to gets eggs cooked in here. Even then, you would've wanted your shots before you ate 'em.”
She laughed. “Alright, what's for dinner?”
“You still like grilled cheese and tomato soup?”
“Haven't had it in years,” she replied. “But, yes, I still love it.”
He was shocked. “Really?” he asked. “You practically lived on it when we were in school together.”
“Well, Wyland didn't like tomato soup. He'd rant every time he saw it in the pantry, and a grilled cheese just isn't the same without it.”
“Easier to just stop buying it, I guess.”
She nodded, her movements tight.
“Pull up a stool,” he said, gesturing to one of the barstools tucked into the corner.
“What kind of soup are you doing?”
“One I canned last winter. Nice tomato basil bisque, with heirloom tomatoes from the farmer's market.”
“Oh,” she said, laughing as she pulled one of the barstools over. “I was expecting Campbell's or something.”
He grinned. “If I got caught with Campbell's in my pantry, I'd lose my localvore chef's license.”
“Oh, come on, they don't have that ... do they?”
“No,” he said, smiling as he easily unscrewed the top off his quart jar and popped the sealed inner lid. “But there should be.”
“Lemme get this straight,” she said as hopped up on the seat and situated herself. “You're a big bad biker dude, who shops at the local farmer's market?”
“Bikers are all about freedom,” he said as he pulled a pot down from pot-hanger over the central prep table. He put it down on one of the gas burners, poured in the soup, and turned on the flame and set it to low. “And, personally, I don't trust the government, or any big corporations, to look out for the little guy. So, yeah, I go down and buy my stuff at the local market.”
“Look at you being all libertarian,” she said, laughing.
“Liberty ain't free, lady,” he said, grinning as he began to stir the soup. He went back over to the table and began to work on the grilled cheese sandwiches, explaining the ingredients as went along. “Bread's from a local bakery, butter's from raw milk we bought at a farm, and—”
“Wait,” she interjected. “Did I just hear that right?”
“Hear what right?”
“You make your own butter?” she asked, clearly astonished.
“Well, yeah. It tastes better that way. Besides, churning is a good work out. Can I continue now?”
“Oh, by all means, Cutter,” she said, sarcasm heavy in her words as she emphasized his name for effect.
“Thank you,” he said, infusing his words with just as sarcastic a tone. “The cheeses are from a local importer who gets them from Vermont and Wisconsin, garlic infused cheddar and a Havarti to give it that creamy, melty texture.”
“Wow,” she said, her eyes wide. “Just, wow.”
“Wow's fucking right,” he said, putting the yet to be constructed sandwiches on the plate, and taking them back over to the stove. He set the plate on the counter and pulled down a skillet and slapped a slab of butter in the bottom. He started up the burner, got the flame down to a good low heat, and stirred the soup.
The secret, he thought, to a proper grilled cheese, was to have both sides grilled in butter. That way, you infused the slice with delicious fat and softened the bread in the process. When the butter had started to melt, he sprinkled a dash of salt over it and placed two slices of bread in the sizzling pan.
Liona got up from her barstool and came over to the stone. “Where'd you learn to cook?” she asked from behind him.
“You wouldn't believe me if I told you,” he said.
“Try me.”
“I borrowed a copy of Mastering the Art of French Cooking from the library, first.”
She laughed as she leaned back against the counter, arms crossed. “Go on.”
“Then, I watched a whole lot of videos on the Internet. Then, I practiced.”
“I bet the guys loved that. All that great food you were making for them.”
“Not quite,” he said as he flipped the bread over in the pan and placed the cheese down on the freshly browned side. He closed up the sandwich to let them continue cooking. “A few of 'em got sick off my first roasted chicken. And my steaks sucked for a while. But, thankfully the vote to make me stop cooking didn't go through. Also, I got better and could make it up to them eventually.”
She gave him a little half-smile that was heavy with ...something else, an emotion lying just below the surface. “It's all about making it up to people, isn't it?”
He knew where she was going with this, he thought. He didn't want her to feel guilty about how things had turned, about something from so many years ago. “Well, sometimes,” he said, choosing his words carefully, “but it's also about second chances too, isn't it?”
She looked away from his face, at the swinging door that led out into the rec room. “Teach them how to cook, too?” she asked. “The other guys, I mean.”
“The ones that wanted to, at least,” he replied with a shrug. “Not everybody wants to cook. So, they wait the tables instead. But, before I did that, and before I opened the restaurant, I went to work as a short order cook.”
Liona laughed, a good genuine laugh. It was music to Cutter's ears, especially after the way she'd looked when she was about to get in the shower. He flipped the sandwich over in the skillet and started to grill the other side.
“Where at?” she asked.
“Waffle House. Where else?”
“Oh, I love their hash browns.”
“You should try the ones we make at Farm to Fable,” he said, smiling. “They're fancy.”
“Probably won't be able to for a little while. Not exactly a great idea for someone in hiding to start appearing in public, is it?”
He frowned. He hadn't thought of that. “Nah, you're probably right. Not for a while, I guess.” He turned and smiled at her. “But, luckily, you're staying with the head chef. So, he can probably whip some up for you for breakfast in the morning.”
She grinned widely, just like Cutter remembered her being able to all those years ago. The light that he'd seen in her the first time, it hadn't gone out. Sure, it had been covered
by a bushel, just like in that old church song but it hadn’t been completely smothered by Wyland.
Deep down, Cutter knew there was hope. He smiled back at her as he felt something deep down inside himself begin to stir again. He stepped away from the stove and grabbed down a couple plates and bowls, then carefully removed the finished grilled cheese from the skillet and plated it. He cut the sandwich in half for her with his chef's knife.
“Sit,” he said as he handed the fresh, hot sandwich to her and began to ladle some soup into a bowl, “eat. You need your strength.”
“You know,” Liona said as she took the food from him and went over to sit down in her old spot at the prep table, “in this light, you do almost look like an Italian grandmother.”
“It comes from my mother's side,” he said, grabbing a spoon and placing it into the bowl. He slid the bowl of tomato bisque over to her.
She dipped one of the sandwich halves into her soup and took a bike. Her eyes nearly rolled back in her head. “Oh. My. God,” she said.
He hadn't bothered with the freshly cut basil on top, like he would have at the restaurant. He'd wanted to leave some new mystery for later on. Clearly, though, the lack of green didn't matter to Liona. “Good, I take it?”
“This is like fucking heaven,” she said through a mouthful of grilled cheese, forgetting her manners. “I don't remember a grilled cheese being this good. Ever.”
“Well, you'd never had one of mine, had you?”
She grinned and took another bite as he turned back to the stove and began working on his sandwich. “You made mine first?”
He looked back over his shoulder and smiled at her. “Everyone knows the chef eats last. It's tradition. Besides, I've had my own cooking before.”
She smiled back at him and dipped the corner of her sandwich in her bisque again. She took another bite and groaned, a sound that was borderline erotic. “I think I could marry this sandwich,” she said, dipping it in the soup again. “Seriously. I could have kids with this thing.”
“Little toast grandkids, even?” Cutter asked, laughing.
Yeah, he thought. Things might work out after all. She might be okay.
Chapter 13
Liona
They stayed up for a little while longer after they finished eating, and Cutter introduced her to the rest of the guys who lived at the clubhouse. He'd been right, they were rough around the edges. Coarse was a good word to describe them. But, even if they said some things that were inappropriate in polite company, or spoke in voices that were a little louder in volume than normally acceptable, she felt safe with them. They were straight forward. Honest.
Around Wyland, and even his friends and family, she'd always felt as if she had to be on guard. Something always lurked behind his eyes, something fundamentally dishonest and mercurial. What she thought was the right thing to do one day, may not be the right thing tomorrow, or the next day. With the Vanguard, she knew there was just one right thing to do: respect them and the club. Seemed simple enough, Liona figured.
A little before midnight, most of the guys that had to work the next morning began to turn in for the evening. They all had to be up early, she realized. Most of the time, she'd just gone to bed when Wyland had. She hadn't wanted to wake him up in the middle of the night, especially not if he had work in the morning.
Cutter walked her back to his room. Rather, her room, for the time being He shut the door behind them and leaned back against it. “What'd you think of the guys?” he asked.
She smiled. “They're nice,” she said with sincerity. “Smalls's sweet.”
He smiled, seemingly happy that they hadn't been too much for her. “Yeah, they're all good guys.”
“You turning in for the night, too?”
“Probably should,” he admitted.
There was a pause, and Liona's nervous heart began to beat a little faster.
“Yeah, I need to,” he said, shaking his head. “Smalls's gonna open for me tomorrow morning, but I'll still have to be up early. Got a breakfast date with our lawyer.”
That hadn't been exactly what Liona had wanted to hear. No, she'd wanted him to come over and take her into those caring work-strong arms of his. She wanted to feel his full lips crushing hers. Clearly, though, that wasn't going to happen. She quirked up the corners of her mouth.
“If you need anything,” he said as he touched the door handle beside him, “I'll be out on one of the couches. Alright?”
She did need something: to feel a kind touch, a reassuring warmth, a loving hand for once in her life. She simply nodded at him. “Yeah. I'll let you know.”
“Cool,” he said before turning to let himself out. He stopped before he left. “Night, Liona.”
“Night, Cutter,” she said, his name making her smile a little as it left her lips.
He smiled back and shook his head, before closing the door and heading off down the hallway, back to the rec room. Liona sighed again. She should have said something. Done something. What was that quote? “If you don't make a choice, life will choose for you?” Something like that, she thought. But, whatever the quote had been, her choice in that moment had been made for her, whether she liked the decision, or not.
# # #
Cutter
Cutter bedded down in the rec room, just like he'd decided a while ago. Heading off to bed early didn't help him with getting any sleep, though. Liona's face, smile, laughter, and the sound of her voice filled his mind as he tossed and turned on the overstuffed piece of furniture. When he closed his eyes, all he saw was her naked, beautiful body. It didn't matter that she'd been hurt. She was still Liona Copeland. He lay there, his head propped up on the scratchy pillow, eyes wide open and staring off into the darkness. Silence covered the clubhouse like a heavy down comforter, wrapped him in its embrace. The only thing it couldn't silence, though, were his thoughts.
Once, he imagined he'd gotten over her. Had finally forgotten how her touch felt. Had finally put her infectious grin behind him. Apparently, he hadn't. He sighed and rolled back over to face the back of the couch, pulled the covers tighter around his shoulders. The urge to just walk back into his room, to crawl into bed with her and pull her into his arms, was almost too much to control. Somehow, he managed to control himself, but in the end, it was only for her sake. He'd loved Liona once. Loved her like the air he breathed, or the roads his bike took him down. He'd spent years pulling that love out of his heart, ripping it out by the roots and throwing it as far away as he could. She'd been with Wyland, and forever out of his reach.
...Now she was within his reach but if he tried something and got shot down like he had before, he wouldn't know how to handle it. Could he take that kind of rejection again? Or, would it wreck him just like it had all those years ago?
He sighed and rolled back over, put his hands behind his head, and stared up at the ceiling. No, he couldn't risk the hurt. No matter how much he needed to. A heart was a fragile thing, like a soufflé or a bike's gearbox. You toyed with one at your peril. Cutter, though, was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't hear the soft footsteps as they padded down the hall and into the rec room. Even in the thundering silence, he was too focused on himself, only his own memories and mental arguments. He was so absorbed in his own echo chamber that he barely reacted when the soft, slender hand slipped over his mouth, and the perfectly shaped lips next to his ear whispered a quiet shush.
“Come with me,” Liona said, her soft, sweet breath tickling the inside of his ear. “I want to show you something.”
Chapter 14
Liona
Liona could feel the stubble on his chin beneath her fingers, and his skin was soft but weathered. He was so different form Wyland, different in every way she could imagine. Wyland used lotions on his face, moisturizers with SPF. She knew Cutter didn't. She'd been in his bathroom, after all. He was only wearing his boxer briefs as he slept on the couch, with a light quilt thrown over him. Wyland, though, refused to sleep in anything but silk pa
jamas.
She could tell from this close, too, how different they smelled. Wyland had smelled like expensive cologne and other pampered fragrances. Cutter smelled like motor oil, exhaust, and a little spiciness she couldn't quite place. Liona glanced down his body, allowing her eyes to travel over his broad chest and the tattoos and scars covering his flesh. She wanted to reach out to him, to feel his imperfections and old injuries. She wanted to kiss his tattoos, to let her lips travel down his naked body....
She couldn't believe she was doing this, throwing herself at this man whom she hadn't seen in so many years. And yet, here she stood, clad in only the panties she was supposed to get married in, and an oversized bike rally tee shirt she'd fished out of his dresser drawer. But, there was something liberating about these feelings. She wanted this. She wanted to explore her urges, instead of just subjecting herself to someone else's wants and desires.