by Sarah Biglow
It made sense now. He had in fact been there in the cemetery that day when he approached Belladonna. He’d used stolen magic and likely some of his own family’s power to control her. I knew there wasn’t anything I could say to him to make him realize what he’d done. I doubted he’d even been in control himself after the monster took hold. “I’m sorry.”
“Sorry? Why?” He scoffed, his voice tight as if he was still fighting smoke inhalation.
“You were just a kid. You were lonely and you wanted to know your family. The Order took advantage of that, twisted things to make you believe that they could give you power.”
“You’re wrong. I went to them willingly,” he said, puffing out his chest. No matter how tough he was trying to be, he still moved in the body of a badly burned teenage boy and his chest strained against the action.
“What did you do to get them to let the girls go? To leave your mother’s magic untouched?”
His confidence faltered. “They needed a willing vessel. I offered it to them.”
“But, why?”
“They said I would learn all about my power over death. And I have. I even made sure the girls weren’t hurt.” He pounded a clawed hand against the cloak. “I did that ... Me.”
“Adrian, they may not have physically hurt them, but their minds haven’t healed. Not entirely. You caused so much pain and for what? The promise of having control over death?”
“You grew up knowing you were special. But what was I? No one. Just some kid from Southie. Now, I have power. All of it. And I’m going to have yours, too.”
I caught the myriad of scents swirling around him. I picked up on Rueben’s vinegar and even Janty’s nauseating scent among them. This creature had turned its tactics against the Order, growing so power-hungry that it destroyed its own acolytes.
“So, say you’re right and you take me out. Then what?”
He laughed. “Why would I tell you?”
I gestured around at the empty space. “Who am I going to tell? Besides, in this scenario you’ve taken me off the playing board. Not like I’m in a position to blab the plan. So, what, world domination?”
“The time of darkness will reign, and magic will be wielded as it was meant to.”
“Except, if you keep taking people out, there will be no one left to use it and you’ll be reigning over no one. I saw Belladonna’s memories. I know you’ve basically wiped out most of the Order’s members already,” I pointed out.
“You’re stalling,” he scoffed.
“Damn right I am,” I admitted. “But you can’t blame a girl for trying.”
For all of my self-realization and acceptance on the walk here, now that I was facing down this monster, I didn’t want to take the last step off the proverbial cliff. He didn’t give me a chance to acclimate before a literal pulsing wave of magic shot out and knocked me backward. I landed hard on my back and I groaned when my head hit the ground with a ‘crack.’ Black spots danced in my vision for a few seconds before the nausea hit me. Fighting back the urge to vomit, I climbed to my feet.
I felt the world’s magic crackling around me like the beginning of a lightning storm. It may be the Winter Solstice, but the world still needed me to make this sacrifice. Even if this thing wanted hell on earth, the rest of reality wanted to maintain balance, which meant it was rooting for me. I let the magic pour through me, charging up my own power. It fed the kernel of dark magic within me and I was finally going to let it out to play. After all, Taggart had reminded me that dark magic was stronger today.
I pulled Taggart’s spell from the center of my body, willing it to liquify and pool in my hands. Adrian wanted dark magic; he was about to get some. I watched as the magic took on form, swirling and molding itself into a glowing grey mass like the stone it had once been. The smell of chlorine popped around me as the world lent me what magic it could. The tips of my fingers and my palms tingled with the spell.
Stop this thing in its tracks.
Lobbing it overhand like a baseball, I sent the spell hurtling toward the thing that used to be Adrian. The sphere collided with the creature and it staggered back a couple steps. I kept myself in check—no reason to cheer just yet—as I watched the spell spread outward, turning the creature to stone.
It lifted its head and laughed; a bone-chilling sound. “You didn’t think that through, did you Savior? Today of all days, you think darkness will stop me?”
The stone receded, turning liquid again and melted into the creature’s slender clawed hands. It shimmered, turning to fire and I went sailing backward again, my hair smelling singed. It had been a Hail Mary. If I was being honest with myself, I’d really just wanted to find a way to get it out of me and break the bond I had never intended to create.
My left side ached as I tried to stand and breathe in. I pressed my hand to my ribcage and could feel something shift. Wonderful. I almost regretted not bringing J.T. along to help with injuries, but I knew I couldn’t put him in the line of fire. None of the people I loved could be here.
I didn’t have time to eke out any of my own magic to ease the pain before a tidal wave of dark magic, smelling of so many scents my nose could no longer distinguish individual ones, hit me. I managed to stay on my feet, but I was now a good ten feet away from the creature.
“You must use all power at your disposal,” Aoife’s voice said from beside me.
I felt heat warm my fingers and my side. The pain lessened and while I was grateful not to have a broken rib anymore, I wanted to scold her for using up what little magic she’d left in the pendant.
“I have plenty enough for that,” she said, as if reading my mind.
Of course, she did. She’s part of me. Every person left who gave some of their magic is here within me, in the pendant. “This thing is kicking my ass,” I ground out.
“That’s what you get for trying to use dark magic,” Grandma noted, tilting her aviators down to give me side eye.
“You are incredibly strong, Ez. You were literally born to fight this monster,” Desmond said and squeezed my right hand.
He was right. I reached deep down into my own power, pulling it up from my core. I let it ripple over my skin like armor made of the ripest strawberries, tinged with the barest hint of honey. Even if he couldn’t be here with me in person, J.T. was still with me. Putting my intent out into the world was easy. I needed to protect this world and there was no purer intent out there.
The Common around me came into sharper focus as my senses zeroed in on the creature waiting for me. “I’d say you’re right, but you really don’t need the ego stroke,” I called out to it. “Besides, I don’t really care what you do with that spell. It just means it’s not there anymore trying to fight my own power.”
I got a running start and it was like space just shrunk. One moment we were several feet apart and then, my fist slammed into his face, sending him staggering backward. Ribbons of magic, swirling with bright red and orange light zipped out from my hands, binding its wrists together.
He struggled and I was about to offer up a quip about struggling making them tighter when the bonds broke. “You just don’t get it yet, Savior. You cannot beat me.” It didn’t bother using magic this time when it backhanded me.
I tasted blood as I went stumbling sideways into a tree trunk. Neveah’s words whispered in the back of my mind. The last of Harrow’s blood must flow forevermore. I was the last of Harrow’s blood now, but I carried an entire lineage with me, waiting to be unleashed. Wait, maybe the blood wasn’t literal. Magic lives in every part of us, including our blood.
It was time. No more avoiding the inevitable.
J.T.’s smiling face flashed before me along with Jacquie’s laughter filling my ears. The ghost of my dad’s fiercest hug wrapped around me, reminding me of everything I was about to lose and I couldn’t help but shed a few tears. I pushed myself away from the tree and wiped the tears I felt staining my cheeks. I wasn’t going to face death crying. I clasped the pendant i
n my right hand and felt the pink stone warm at its center. One by one, the remnants of my ancestor’s magic poured out around me, taking form until I was surrounded by dozens of people. Grandma and Desmond stood on either side of me. I caught Theodora and Aoife among the ranks behind me. The floral fragrances of heather and jasmine mixed with the earthy scents of wheat and moss.
“You’re right. I can’t beat you with only my magic. But that’s the thing you don’t seem to understand. I don’t just have my own magic. I am a vessel for my entire bloodline. You may have taken other people’s power, but each and every person in my bloodline gave a piece of themselves for this very moment. And that sort of sacrifice is so much more powerful than you are or ever will be.”
One by one I felt my family, who had given freely of their magic melt into my own power until their scents were indistinguishable from my own. The power built up around me, but it didn’t harden into armor or any sort of defense. Instead, it pooled in my core, building until I could feel it ready to burst.
I expected the feeling to make it difficult to breathe. Watching Adrian try to wield so much power had looked painful, but there was no pain, no sense of constriction. If anything, I felt lighter, freer.
The world fell away and all that remained were the creature and me. It came charging at me, but I was ready. Ready for all of this to end. I held my arms out at my sides and let the magic flow through me and out into the world with the simple intent to protect.
The creature collided with the outpouring of power. Ever so slowly, my magic coiled around its form, binding tight until it looked like a strawberry-wrapped mummy. The magic squeezed tighter and with a sudden ‘pop,’ the creature turned to dust and ash, carried away on the wind. With a pulse, all of the remaining magic fled my body, blanketing the city and the world beyond. My knees buckled and the edges of my vision began to darken. My breathing came in slow rasps as the wind tugged at my hair. I clung to the sounds of the city for just a little longer, chasing the rumble of the trains and cars speeding past.
I felt the vibration of the footsteps more than heard them as J.T.’s face appeared above me. How had he found me? I wanted to smile up at him, but I’d lost control of my body. It felt almost as if I were floating, barely tethered to this world anymore.
“Stay with me,” J.T. said.
I wanted to stay, so badly it hurt. Only it wasn’t how the world worked. I didn’t always get what I wanted. The Savior didn’t always get to go home at the end of the day. I watched as he did chest compressions and the sense of floating vanished as it started to pull me back in. However, no matter how much I wanted to cling to the world, death was inevitable. More than that, it was necessary. So many members of my family had sacrificed themselves, to get me here. One more sacrifice was needed to set the balance of the world to right. I was the last of Harrow’s blood and I was willing to pay that price.
Soon, J.T.’s face faded to nothing.
December 31, 2017
Epilogue
The sun sat low in the sky, already on its afternoon descent. The cemetery is quiet, peaceful. The city would be alive with parties and fireworks in just a few short hours as a new year rolled in. The ground was firm and hard, but clearly disturbed in a small plot located on the back row. There’s no headstone yet, but there will be soon. Footfalls crunched against the cold ground as J.T. appeared, his hood pulled up against the harsh winter air.
I wished I could feel that biting chill just one more time, but I was beyond the sensations of hot and cold now. I couldn’t help watching him as he bent down and brushed some stray earth back into place. His body obscured my view so I couldn’t tell what he was doing. When he finally stood up, I could see he’d placed the pentacle in the dirt, covering it over so it wouldn’t get swept away with the wind.
“Hey, Ez. I know you probably can’t hear me … but maybe you can. It’s been a week and it still doesn’t feel real, that you’re gone.”
I moved closer to him, longing to wrap him in a hug. Through everything we’d been through, he’d been a pillar holding me up; even when I didn’t realize he was doing it in the years we spent apart. And now we’d be apart again for a very long time. He wiped tears from his eyes with the back of his gloved hand.
“God, I miss you.” He rubbed the top of his left hand and I could spot the slight bulge of the ring on his finger. “We didn’t have enough time.” His breath caught in his throat. “I’m not blaming anyone,” he added quickly. Like he was going to offend me.
“I know we didn’t have enough time together,” I whispered.
He laughed and gave a sad smile. “You know, it’s almost like I can still feel you around me, keeping an eye on me.”
I stepped back as his words settled over me. He wasn’t wrong. I hadn’t been able to move on yet. The people I loved were holding me tight to this world, no matter how hard J.T. had tried to keep me alive in it. As I shuffled back, I felt a hand reach for mine. I didn’t think anything of it, letting whoever it was give me support. I turned to find my mother standing there as she’d been nine months ago when she’d given up the rest of her magic for me.
“How is this possible?” At least I think the words came out of my mouth.
“We’re in the same place now, sweetheart. I’m so sorry it had to come to this. I never wanted this for you.”
“The world didn’t give me a choice. I had to pay the debt Aoife owed to keep the balance. To set it right.”
She gave my hand a squeeze. “I know. But I wanted you to have a full life with all the happiness you deserved.”
I looked at J.T. as he stood there, blowing into his hands and shifting from foot to foot to keep warm. “I was happy. But I knew it was only a matter of time until this came along. I wish I could just give him one more goodbye. I didn’t exactly say it before all of this. Not the way I should have.”
“I feel that way all the time,” Desmond’s voice rang out from my right.
“I’m still mad at you,” I reminded him, nudging his shoulder.
“I know and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you what I’d seen. But look at it this way, we both get to hang out together for eternity or whatever is waiting for us next.”
The thought of spending the rest of my afterlife, or whatever this was, with my family who’d given up their lives for me wasn’t such a bad consolation prize. Desmond wrapped his arm around my shoulders just as another set of footsteps crunched on the ground. J.T. turned and wiped at his face again.
“I hope I’m not disturbing you,” Dad said, a small wreath in his hand.
“No. I could use the company, honestly,” he answered and took a step to his left so they could both stand at my grave.
Dad set the wreath on top of the pentacle, keeping it more firmly in place. Dad fiddled with his hat. I knew he wanted to say something, but maybe was too ashamed or scared to voice it.
“Do you still feel her?” Dad finally voiced.
J.T. nodded. “Everywhere. It’s the grief, right? I’m still in the denial phase?”
“I don’t know. With all this magic stuff, isn’t it possible that some part of her is still here? I mean, if the rest of the family could put themselves in that pendant, couldn’t she?”
“I tried to sense any magic in it, and I couldn’t,” Avery’s voice interjected into the conversation.
Dad and J.T. both turn to see her carrying flowers. She stopped three graves down at Desmond’s and placed them against the headstone. She pulled a few buds free and laid them on mine across Dad’s wreath making a pentacle.
“What do you mean?” Dad choked out.
“I tried to see if there was any magical signature on it and there’s nothing. It may have been super powerful at one point, but it’s just a necklace now. The power’s gone.”
“You know, I’m not saying I’m jealous or anything,” Desmond leaned in to whisper in my ear even though the living couldn’t hear our conversation, “but you didn’t have to show me up by dying the way you did.”
“Okay, first of all, that shit hurt. A lot. And second, you are totally jealous,” I quipped.
Back at the gravesite, Avery stepped around to be on J.T.’s other side, taking his hand in hers. “I think I feel Desmond sometimes still, like he’s watching over me. The world’s magic is connected, and it never really ends. Like Ezri said, it just takes up root in someone new. So, yeah, maybe they are out there somewhere and maybe one day if we’re lucky we’ll cross paths with their magic again. Even if it’s in someone new. Maybe we’ll get to teach them to use their powers.”
J.T.’s shoulders shook with emotion and I could hear him sniffling at her words. I was dead and even I got teary at the thought. Somehow, I knew that my magic wouldn’t be taking up residence in anyone new. Not for a long time anyway. My last act had been to protect everyone in this city.
“I wish I could say goodbye, just one more time,” I sighed.
“You’re the Savior, I’m pretty sure if anyone can communicate beyond the grave, it’s you,” Desmond replied.
“He’s right. Besides, you’re connected to this place. You are literally laid to rest here,” Mom added.
“Yeah, because that’s not creepy,” I muttered. I understood what she meant, though. The cemetery made me feel more real than I had since dying. I watched my loved ones share in their grief and I couldn’t just stand by any longer.
“Here goes nothing,” I said and for what was probably the last time. I felt my magic build up around me, fortifying me with the heady scent of ripe strawberries fresh from the field, drizzled with the little bit of J.T.’s magic that had become a part of me during our wedding ceremony. My form took on mass and while my heart didn’t quite beat again, it was the closest I was going to feel alive ever again.
Without thinking I extended the spell, feeding the temporary step back into the mortal realm to my Mom and Desmond. Giving them a final goodbye, too. The trio at my grave seemed unaffected by the spell taking shape behind them until J.T. sniffed again, looking left and right.