“God I love you.” I told him as I lowered my lips to his for a sweet, heavenly kiss, one created by the Gods indeed.
“As I love you, my Goddess.”
It wasn’t long after the kissing had finished that I pulled back to look at him better and told him my thoughts,
“I can’t believe you did that.”
“I do seem to recall us having sex before Keira, quite a few times in fact,” he teased.
“Yes but no offence Draven, it usually comes after your business is concluded, not before.” I knew when his eyes gave me that soft tender look that he understood what I was trying to say.
“I nearly lost you,” he said framing my face with both hands and suddenly I wanted to cry. I couldn’t help it. Just hearing the pain that he clearly tried to bury under the mountains of hurt, hurt built that simply loving each other had caused, well that was never going to be an easy thing to take.
“I know but…” I started to say but when he started shaking his head I stopped.
“There is no but to be found in this, Keira. You were lost to me and I was facing a lifetime living with the woman I loved… one that unknowingly became my enemy.” I frowned down at him before shifting to move off him and his wings uncurled and let me. I sat back on my knees, pulling the quilt up to cover me.
“That stung.” I told him quickly hating where this conversation was taking us to.
“It wasn’t meant to.” He told me honestly.
“You have to understand what I faced. You weren’t just lost to me because you were simply taken and I could fight to get you back. I was fighting someone I loved Keira, I was fighting you.” He said pushing up with his wings as he took my hands in his. Like this with his bare torso and wings looking lighter in the daylight he looked like a fallen Angel pleading for forgiveness for his sins.
“I understand.”
“No, you couldn’t possibly. And I don’t blame you for it, if anything I commend you for even trying.”
“Draven.”
“When you first walked back into my club I thought I was dreaming, by the Gods how I had dreamt of that very sight! But then to find it was real was like a gift from the Heavens.” I bit my lip as I listened to what I knew Draven now needed. He had no doubt kept in his feelings in for so long, that to finally be given the opportunity to release all those building emotions was the closure he needed to move on. Yes, I had been me for the last week and I knew now that Draven had no doubt given me the time I needed to deal with things. Well now it was his time and I was going to give it to him.
“I knew you were coming back to me as I had been told this. But know that waiting for it was like waiting to be reconnected back with the other half of your soul, one waiting to meet you in your own Afterlife.” He said this as if it was still happening and I squeezed his hands, trying to reassure him that I was still here.
“I didn’t want to believe what I had been told and until you shouted your other name out to me in this very room, I didn’t believe it.” As he reminded me of a time that was not my own, the memory belonging to her came flooding back to me. It was when I, as Katie, had her first real encounter with Draven and I almost felt sorry for me. I remembered the first time I had done it all that time ago and how nervous I had been back then. How intimidating I found him, I almost laughed out loud. But this got me thinking. It was almost as if our two histories were destined to play out as they first did. I too had faced an impossible reality and was forced to believe I was someone else to be with the man of my dreams…
The Chosen One.
This title I had struggled with from the very beginning and being faced with a man like Draven telling you who you were didn’t make it easier but harder…much harder. So to wake up and be told you were his wife, just as I had been told I was his Chosen One, was as much incredible as it was implausible.
“It was so hard as I could see you. I could hear you. I could feel you in my arms. I could still connect our bodies together as one but…” He swallowed hard and looked down at our joined hands before continuing what I knew was excruciatingly hard for him,
“I could never reach you.” My heart was crying out for the break in his voice but I knew there was nothing I could do but be here for him to pass his burden over, giving me half the weight of it to carry.
“I thought in time…I thought…” Another deep breath taken and he finally came to the root of his anguish,
“I thought by being with me…I thought that if I did everything as I did before…the way I loved you, the way I made love to you…I thought it would be enough to bring you home. I thought I would have been enough to bring you back but I wasn’t…
“I failed you.” Hearing this, my breathing hitched and my heart stopped for one heart breaking moment. My hands slipped from his to cover the gasp that escaped only a second too late. He continued to look down and I knew he couldn’t meet my eyes.
“Draven look at me.” I told him after seconds were too long to let go by without him knowing the truth.
“Look at me.” I asked again when he didn’t move and I wanted to reach out and brush back the hair that was covering his face. In the end I didn’t get the chance as he finally raised his head. If I thought his words were heart breaking, then seeing the tears in his eyes refusing to fall was searing me to my core.
“No. No Draven. You didn’t fail me.” He heard my words but tore his face away in what looked like disgust at himself. I reached out my hand, placing it on his cheek to bring him back to me.
“Bill was the one who brought you back Keira, I just made you decide on whether to take it or not.”
“Yes but Bill didn’t give me my memories. He didn’t make me love you…you did that. You gave me that life. You gave me the memories that I was searching for, not Bill. You made me your Keira and it was your voice in the dark that was slowly leading me home. Don’t you see, that wasn’t Katie who made that decision to take that coin, it was mine. Mine Draven. Do you hear me?” I shouted until his eyes refocused on me and that dark distance he was staring into was coming to the end.
“I heard your voice and it brought me home…I found my way home…and I ran. I ran to you, Dominic Draven.” This was when his tears fell and they were the tears of my Guardian Angel so I reached out to him, bracing my hands on his shoulders and tasted them from his skin. I kissed each one away. He closed his eyes against the surge of emotions and I only managed to get a few stolen tender moments to soothe away his pain before I was in his arms and encased within his wings.
“You soothe my soul and tend to my heart like no other,” he told me, obviously being able to read my last few thoughts. He held my head to his shoulder in an embrace and I could hear the steady beat of the heart he spoke of. It brought me peace.
“That’s the way it should be.” I told him and he pulled me back gently to look down at me. He rubbed away the tears I hadn’t even realised I had been crying and tasted them off his thumb.
“Yes. Yes, it is.” The way he said this sounded as though he had just worked this out. As though he was so used to being the one who provided the help and comfort in times such as this that it hadn’t occurred to him that it was my role as well. If it had been any other time I would have rolled my eyes at him, smacked him on the shoulder and shouted ‘of course it is you big oaf’ in frustration. But instead I let him pull me close and kiss me like no other man could. Then I did something I had never done before. I pushed him back so that he landed on his back with his wings spread out, spilling over the sides of the bed, they were that huge. Then I pulled the covers off the both of us, baring both our bodies to the light of day before lowering myself onto him, joining my body with his.
His head arched back as he slipped inside and I too cried out my rapture at feeling him buried deep within me. I gazed down at the euphoric sight beneath me of the dark angel getting lost in my body and I couldn’t help but smile. It was another memory I would forever keep with me and once again it was one he had given me. Ju
st another reason to love him even more, if that was even something possible.
I started to move up and down the length of him, trying to take all of him deep inside me, as much of him as I could. I wanted it all but was cursing myself that I wasn’t made big enough.
“Easy.” He whispered to me placing his large hands on my hips, obviously knowing what I was trying to do.
“I want all of you.” I told him and this time it was he who I found biting his lip. He suddenly ceased my movements, gripped me tightly and sat up so our faces were mere centimetres apart. Then he whispered over my lips, barely just touching them,
“You have every part of me, Keira.”
I don’t know why but when he said this something clicked in my mind and I found what he said wasn’t quite true. I don’t know why I had never thought of it until now but suddenly it was all I could think about as we made tender love to each other. Oh it was beautiful and gentle and wonderful in a way that words just couldn’t get right. And instead of what it had been shortly before it was just the opposite. There was no screaming or pleading for more. There was no teasing or holding back what our bodies were designed to do. There were just two people in love, coming together in the most beautiful way only those two souls could experience.
We came together, shuddering in each other’s arms not long after the kiss that started it all. Usually when Draven had me in his bed it was something he took time in, savouring it as if never wanting it to end. However, this time wasn’t about any of that and deep down it wasn’t even about the pleasure gained. It was as simple as needing to breathe. Something we both needed at the time to soothe both our souls and making love in a way that spoke only to the depths of those souls.
It wasn’t something we wanted to control… it was something we needed to set free. I wondered at that moment how many people had also experienced this and hoping to the Gods that the answer was going to be eventually everyone. This wasn’t a feeling that waged wars or encouraged violent acts against others. It was so much more powerful than that of anger or greed, hatred or even jealousy. The proof in this had come from the eyes of a stranger, eyes I had run away from in Ranka. Love could drive a person to do the impossible, and Draven and I were the proof of that...time and time again.
But there was also proof of what else love could create and it meant the continuation of mankind. Which brought me back to when Draven said I had every part of him. That wasn’t true.
I didn’t have his child.
And what’s more I didn’t even know if I could or ever would? But why now? What had snapped inside me to make me want it now and not think of it before? I didn’t have the answer only a theory that our love had grown even greater in that one moment, tipping our history and changing it once again.
As now I had changed forever by…
Wanting his baby.
The second the thought entered my mind Draven froze and so I did the same. I don’t think either of us knew what to do next but hold our breaths and wait for the other to say something first. In the end it was Draven that broke the silence with a staggered,
“Keira I…” Just the way he said it I knew. I sucked in my bottom lip to stop it quivering and slowly lifted myself off him.
“Keira?”
“It’s fine, Draven.” I said trying to lock down my disappointment. I moved away from him, trying to get to the bathroom when he grabbed my hand. He didn’t say anything so I looked back at him, which was when he finally spoke,
“I don’t have that piece of me to give,” he told me sadly. I nodded and said,
“I know.” Then I slid off the bed, grabbed my dressing gown and slipped it up my arms and over my bare shoulders. By the time I knotted the tie I knew I couldn’t just walk away now and let him feel bad for something he obviously had no control over. So with my back still to him I asked the burning question, turning my head to the side,
“But if you could?” I waited longer than I thought I would have to and sighed in relief when I felt him pull me to face him. He was knelt on the edge of the bed putting us at the same height and putting his hands either side of my waist, he looked deep into my eyes, holding me there.
“In a heartbeat.” His answer didn’t relieve me of the devastating realisation that I would never be a mother but it did at least thaw the chill that had surrounded my heart for what I hoped was a short time. I didn’t want to dwell on disappointments I had no control over and the last thing I wanted was to make Draven feel bad about them either. If he told me it couldn’t be done, then I had to believe in that for anything else would just get my hopes up when the only place for them to go next was down. So instead of crying and opening the door to pity I gave him what he deserved and said,
“Then that’s good enough for me.” Then I kissed him on the forehead and left him to go and clean myself up. I grabbed my discarded clothes from the floor, feeling cold for some reason. Once in the bathroom however I not only felt cold but lost in a mix of feelings I couldn’t make sense of. I found myself holding on to the sides of the basin and looking at myself in the mirror as if searching for something…or someone.
“If this is to be my sacrifice for having Draven, then so be it.” I whispered to the only person listening, or so I thought. I don’t know at which point I started to realise it was her and not me but it wasn’t that long before my lips started to move in my reflection. No sound came out but I had no trouble reading her message in the lips I knew.
“But what if you could have both?” I frowned and shook my head a little as one does when they’re not sure if what they were seeing was real.
“Both?” I asked getting closer to her and bending with my waist digging into the sink. She just nodded in a slow eerie way that no longer looked like me.
“But how?” I pushed after looking both left and right to check I was still alone but when I looked back the mirror was clouded. I straightened up and was about to forget myself and shout, ‘Tell me!’ but in the end I didn’t need to as the mist started to drip into simple words,
‘Find the Oracle’
Chapter 6
Finding Sunshine
By the time I walked back into the room I was surprised to find Draven sat on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands. I noted that he too was dressed, only this time in jeans and a grey t shirt that bunched up around his muscles due to the position he held himself in. As soon as he heard my return he looked up, pushing all his hair back with his hands.
“I’m sorry,” I blurted out, knowing I was the cause of this.
“Come here,” he ordered softly. My bare footed steps were the only sound in the room as you could have heard a pin drop and cut the air with a knife. By the time I got close enough I was damning my baby thoughts and fantasies, chastising myself for making him feel this way. When I was only an arm’s length away he snagged me around the waist and pulled me the rest. Then he leant his head to my belly and just held me still for a few quiet moments.
“I wish this was something I could give you.” I closed my eyes against the hurt I had caused.
“Draven it’s okay, I understand…”
“No you don’t,” he said cutting me off and quickly looking up at me from my stomach. I tried to decipher what I saw there and what emotion I was finding in Draven’s dark eyes, unusually with no purple in sight.
“I didn’t want to do this now.”
“Draven you’re starting to scare me.” I told him as it was the truth because it felt as if I was about to hear a confession…his confession. I didn’t know if I could do this now as nothing could prepare me for what he could possibly say and after all this time apart, well let’s just say that in moments like this your mind can be your own worst enemy. But instead of stopping this, like maybe I should have done, I knew it was one of those now or never gigs and this was my only now. So I placed a hand on his shoulder trying to stop it from shaking.
“I should have told you this a while ago but…” He paused and suddenly I couldn�
��t stand it. It was as though now I had made the decision to see this through and hear him out I just wanted it done with. So I pushed,
“But?” His eyes met mine and he said honestly,
“I couldn’t find the words or a time I ever wanted to try and find them.”
“You didn’t want to tell me?” I tried not to wince as the hurt seeped in that there was something he was keeping from me and judging by his reluctance, it had been for a while.
“No, never.” I let him go and took a step back putting some distance between us. I had been right… it was a now or never time.
He sat up and I folded my arms waiting for what I knew must be something huge and I could only hope not as heart-breaking as I most feared.
“Why?” I had to ask him but quickly wished that I hadn’t when receiving his answer.
“Because I know you.”
“Do you have any idea how that makes me feel?” I couldn’t believe that he had said that to me. I could feel my heart pounding out a beat of defeat and I could barely hold it together. Did he really mean that he couldn’t trust my reaction to what he was about to say? And if that was the case then it was something even worse than I could ever have imagined.
“Not as bad as it will once you know what I have kept from you,” he admitted. I sucked in a sharp breath of bewilderment, taking another step back away from him. I even shook my head slightly as if trying to rid myself of the dark cloud that was starting to surround me. I had to take a minute before forcing myself to say,
“Tell me.” This time it was my order and there was nothing soft about it. He took a deep breath and I was startled when I heard the door click as the lock slid into place. My head snapped towards the door and then back to Draven for answers, who just shrugged his shoulders.
“Why did you lock the door, Draven?” I demanded in a surprisingly eerie calm voice.
“To stop you from what it is you do best when hearing something you don’t want to.” This made me angry. How dare he!
Sacrifice of the Septimus: Part 1 (Afterlife saga Book 7) Page 6