Batter and Spells (Sweetland Witch Women Sleuths) (A Cozy Mystery Book)

by Zoe Arden

  "Fine," Lucy said, "I'll help, but I'm coming in with you. I'm not standing out here like some yodel."

  "Fine," I snapped back. "Do what you want."

  I sighed as we snuck into the office. I wasn't sure whether it was everything that had happened that was setting me off, or if it was specifically Colt. I'd told him that I'd go to his father's sentencing with him and his mom, if he wanted, and he'd told me not to. He said he didn't want me there in case things went bad.

  Apparently, there were rumors that protestors were planning to hex the courthouse if Russell wasn't sentenced to their satisfaction. Colt didn't want me around in case that happened. All I heard, though, was that Colt didn't want me around. It just seemed like everything between us the last couple of weeks had been a big ball of stress.

  "I'm sorry," I told Lucy as we slipped inside. The doors to the office were surprisingly easy to jimmy open. It helped that Lucy had brought a magical crowbar.

  "Me, too," she sighed. We hugged briefly and tried to shake off our irritation at the world around us.

  I started with Mayor Thomas’ desk, since it seemed the most logical place to hide something.

  "So, you don't believe him when he says Tazzie killed Thaddeus, do you?" Lucy asked.

  "No," I said. "I know how it looks, but something about it doesn't feel right. I think Sheriff Knoxx and Lincoln agree with me, and that's why they haven't arrested her yet. Anyway, I'm learning to go with my instincts. It's part of being a witch, right?"

  There was nothing of interest in the desk. I moved to a closet. The mayor had an extra set of suits hanging in there. I searched the pockets and found a crumpled piece of paper.

  "What's this?" I asked, Lucy, unfolding it and showing it to her.

  She looked at it, her eyes narrowing. "I don't know. Looks like a phone number."

  I took another look.

  555 214 0000

  $10k more or else

  "A phone number, yes, but what's the rest of it? A threat?" I ran my hand absentmindedly through my hair. "You think I should call it?" I asked her.

  "I don't know." Lucy bit her lip, her brow furrowing deeper as she considered it.

  "I don't know what I'd even say if someone answered. But ten thousand more? That sounds like the assassin, don't you think?"

  "Give it here," Lucy said, reaching for the slip of paper. I handed it to her. She picked up the phone on Mayor Thomas’ desk and dialed the number, then pushed the button for speakerphone. We both hovered over it, listening to it ring. By the sixth ring, we were about to hang up.

  A voice suddenly answered.

  "Well, it's about time. Change your mind?" It was a scratchy, inhuman voice. I realized almost immediately that it was being run through some sort of voice altering software. It was neither man nor woman, child nor adult. It sounded like a possessed robot.

  I looked at Lucy, who shrugged.

  "Uh huh," I grunted, trying to sound nondescript. We were calling from the mayor's personal office phone. I didn't want to tip off whoever we were talking to that it wasn't actually the mayor.

  "Good. Thaddeus went down easier than I thought he would. I'm not sure that man ever removed a curse from anything in his life."

  The voice laughed, it was harsh and evil sounding.

  "Ugh," I grunted. Lucy suppressed a giggle. I slapped her shoulder.

  "The thing is, you took too long to answer me. I don't like waiting. If you still want me to take care of Tazzie, it's gonna be another fifteen now, not ten."

  "Fifteen thousand dollars?" I blurted.

  Now Lucy slapped me. I put my hand over my mouth. There was a moment of silence while we listened to each other breathe.

  "Who is this?" the voice demanded.

  I looked at Lucy, no idea what to do.

  "Who is this?" the voice demanded again, angrier this time.

  "Mayor Thomas." I said in a low, fake voice that didn't sound anything like the mayor.

  "I don't think so," said the robotic voice on the other end.

  I panicked and hung up.

  "We need to call Colt and Sheriff Knoxx," Lucy said, already pulling out her Witchmobile. "This number could clinch everything for us. It could lead to the real killer. Did you hear what they said? That Thaddeus went down easier than they'd thought he would. They must have killed him; it wasn't Tazzie or Mayor Thomas. Thaddeus Black was assassinated."

  "Call the sheriff's station," I said, "maybe they can meet us here."

  "Darn it," she said, banging her phone against her thigh. "This was just working. I lose my signal at the drop of a hat. I'll be right back."

  She hurried outside while I waited in the office for her. I started looking through the desk again. Maybe I'd missed something the first time. There was a creak behind me, followed by light footsteps.

  "Hey, Lucy, I was just thinking—"

  Something hit me hard over the head. My eyes closed, I fell to the ground, and everything went black.

  * * *

  1 3

  * * *

  I woke up in bed. My head was throbbing. Snowball blinked at me and licked my cheek.

  "Mama's awake!" she shouted gleefully. Trixie, Eleanor, Colt, and my dad came running into the room. They surrounded me like a prisoner caught escaping from jail.

  "There you are," Trixie said, as if I was missing.

  "What happened?" I asked. I had no idea how I'd gotten home.

  "What happened?" my father repeated. His face was a mask of worry lines and deep creases.

  Colt's face looked surprisingly similar.

  "What happened," Colt said, taking over for my father when he couldn't go on. They all looked mad, "is that you and Lucy decided to break into the mayor's office and nearly got yourself killed."

  "The phone number!" I yelled, jumping out of bed. I was still in the same clothes I'd worn yesterday.

  "Yeah, we know all about the number you and Lucy found," Eleanor said. "Too bad whoever knocked you over the head took it."

  "And there's no way to trace it," added Colt. "They enchanted the phone lines so that the number wouldn't register."

  "You can't trace it?" I squealed, disappointed.

  "I think you're missing the important part here, Ava," Colt said, easing the anger out of his voice and sitting gently on the edge of my bed. He kissed my hand, holding it tightly in his. "You and Lucy shouldn't be investigating these things on your own."

  "Did Lucy tell you about the phone call?" I asked. They were worrying way too much. I wasn't a child. I was fine. I'd just gotten a bump on my head is all.

  "Yes," they all said in unison. Eleanor and Trixie crowded in on me.

  Eleanor started talking, her hands on her hips. "I got a frantic call from Lucy last night—"

  "She wasn't making any sense," Trixie said, cutting her off. "She told us—"

  "That you were hurt and to bring Colt because—"

  "You knew who the killer was."

  Sometimes, listening to Trixie and Eleanor talk made my head dizzy. They had a way of finishing each other's sentences that was funny and irritating at the same time. I wondered if my mom was similar when she was alive. Maybe one day I'd ask them.

  "Only, of course, when we showed up," Colt said, "you were out cold and the evidence was gone."

  "That doesn't make sense, though," I said. “How could the assassin get to me so fast? Even if they knew where I was, they'd have had to have been in the building. I mean, they were in the room with me literally two minutes after I hung up on them. Doesn't that strike anyone as odd?"

  Colt shrugged. "We're looking into it. Listen, for right now—"

  Lucy burst into my room just then. "Oh, my roses, you're awake."

  She yanked me out of bed so hard I almost fell over. Snowball bounced off my lap where she'd been sitting and shot her a look. "Get dressed," Lucy ordered.

  "Lucy," my dad said gingerly.

  "Mr. Fortune, Ava has got to go town square with me. You all should." She shot me a gl
ance. "You're okay, right? Good." She turned back to the others while I hurried into the bathroom to change. "Mayor Thomas has officially lost his mind."

  "What are you talking about?" Colt asked.

  "Sweetland wants him out of office. They want to hold a recall election. Everyone's talking about it, so he set up a stage in the town square and is making a speech right now telling off the entire town!"

  "You're kidding!" Trixie exclaimed.

  "Nope."

  Everyone's interest seemed to peak at this news. After I was dressed, we followed Lucy to the town square and listened as Mayor Thomas spoke in an angry, rambling voice.

  "I am not a bad man," he said, banging his fist against the podium. "I am no killer." Bang bang! He must have enhanced the microphone with a bullhorn charm, because his voice was twice as loud as usual and every time he banged his fist, it sounded like the sky was falling.

  There were murmurs in the crowd. Some people cheered, most people jeered.

  "Power drunk!" someone shouted and there were murmurs of approval.

  "For witch's sake, I am not power drunk!" Mayor Thomas yelled. "Isn't there anyone in this town with half a brain anymore?! I am the SAME MAYOR I ALWAYS WAS!!!" He hit the podium so hard with his fist that a chunk of it broke off.

  I saw Wilma Trueheart standing alone near the edge of the stage. She was looking up at Mayor Thomas like he was a celebrity and she was his star-struck fan. After a few more minutes, someone threw a carrot at Mayor Thomas. It smacked him square in the face.

  "Who did that?" he demanded. His question was met with a round of laughter. A pickle flew at him, getting him in the eye. He wiped his face and started shaking his fist in the air.

  "Unacceptable! This town needs me!" A round of salad fixings began sailing through the air. Lettuce, tomatoes, cucumbers... they pelted against him until he finally gave up and left the stage.

  "I feel kind of bad for him," I told Lucy. "I mean, we know he didn't kill Thaddeus. Right?"

  "Yeah, but he did try to pin the murder on Tazzie. And there's something else fishy about him. I can't put my finger on it. Call it witch's intuition."

  I saw him walk around the back of the stage. Wilma followed him.

  "That's strange," I said.

  "What?"

  "Wilma Trueheart just followed Mayor Thomas around the back."

  "She probably wants to give him a piece of her mind, like everyone else."

  "Maybe," I said, biting my lip. "Let's follow them. I want to see what they say."

  We hurried so we wouldn't lose sight of them. I wondered if he really would lose his position as mayor, and if he did, who would take his place?

  He and Wilma were a distance from the stage now, heading away from the thinning crowd. The only people who lingered were the ones who were petting Tadpole. Although Mayor Thomas had been booed off the stage, Tadpole was a hit. People loved his furry face and pleasant demeanor. It wasn't every day you met such a likable skunk.

  I saw one little girl, maybe four or five, run her hand dangerously over Tadpole's tail and pull. Instead of spraying her, though, he rubbed his nose against her and simply took his tail back. The girl's parents laughed delightedly.

  "Come on," Lucy said, pulling my arm. "They're going by that tree."

  We got as close as we could so we could hear them, but without risking them seeing us.

  "Nothing's going according to plan," Mayor Thomas said. He was pacing, frustrated.

  "Now, Quinn," Wilma said, running her hand up his arm.

  "They know each other," I whispered to Lucy, who nodded. She was as surprised as I was. When had they even met? Wilma had been in Sweetland for all of five minutes, yet it looked as though she and the mayor were old friends.

  "I did everything right but it all went wrong," said the mayor.

  "It's not too late. You can still set things right, I'll help you."

  "I should have enacted the Mayor-for-All Rule when I could. I should never have let Dean Lampton interfere.”

  "Everything will be fine. Trust me. I'll make sure of it."

  Mayor Thomas looked at Wilma with tenderness. "I'm glad you're here."

  "Me, too," she replied.

  They held each other's gaze a moment before he slipped his arms around her waist and kissed her.

  Lucy had to slap her hand over her mouth to keep from making any noise. We were both shocked. We hurried quickly away from the tree we'd been hiding behind.

  "Was that for real?" I asked.

  "We have to tell someone what we saw, don't we?"

  "I'm not sure. I mean, they're allowed to date."

  "Yeah, but you heard what he said about the Mayor-for-All Rule. He's planning something. He probably hired the assassin." Lucy grabbed my arm excitedly. "Maybe Wilma's the one who pushed you off the rocks at the beach that day, or knocked you out at the office last night."

  I frowned. "I don't know about that..."

  "Well, whatever the mayor's up to, Wilma's involved somehow."

  "Or she just has really bad taste in men."

  "Okay, I'll tell Colt about it. I guess it can't hurt."

  * * *

  1 4

  * * *

  Colt had no interest in Quinn Thomas’ love life. I'd told him what Lucy and I had seen, and he'd told me I was crazy.

  "So what if Mayor Thomas is smooching on Wilma Trueheart? I don't see what that has to do with an assassin. Unless Wilma's kisses are deadly." He chuckled lightly, dismissively. It irritated the heck out of me.

  That had basically been the same reaction I'd gotten from my dad, aunts, and Sheriff Knoxx. Trixie and Eleanor had been mildly shocked to hear the news but had found nothing suspicious about it either.

  "Wilma Trueheart is a vibrant woman in her early forties. There's no reason she shouldn't see Mayor Thomas. Maybe she's attracted to powerful men who like to kill." I noted the sarcasm in Eleanor's voice and decided not to press the subject any further.

  I was so desperate to find someone who might care, though, that I considered telling Lottie Mudget when she came into our shop. Luckily, I came to my senses. Lottie would have loved the information, but she might also spread where she'd gotten it from. I wasn't sure I needed Mayor Thomas or Wilma to know I was watching them.

  Business at Mystic Cupcake was slowly picking back up. As Lottie informed us when she bought some pumpkin bread and orange cranberry scones this afternoon, "Sweets n' Treats is good, but sometimes I feel like Wilma's methods are a little... slipshod."

  "What do you mean?" asked Eleanor, who was relishing in the news that Wilma's pastries weren't as perfect as everyone had at first thought.

  "Well, I hate to spread gossip, as you well know," Lottie said, leaning in close to Eleanor, a happy gleam in her eye, "but I found a Band-Aid in one of her sugar cookie delights the other day."

  Eleanor's eyes widened. "A Band-Aid?"

  Lottie nodded. "Yes, and I heard from Natalie Vargas that one of her kids found an orange peel in their jelly belly cupcake."

  "Orange peel doesn't sound so unusual," said Eleanor.

  "It does when it's covered in mold," Lottie said.

  Eleanor made a face. Too bad Trixie wasn't here, she'd had have loved to hear this. She was visiting Melbourne, trying to lure him back out of his house. He was still upset about William not wanting to give up Coffee Cove and wasn't sure what to do with himself. He just muddled around his house most days. As Trixie liked to tell him, he was going to have to get used to letting people see him around town again, otherwise, he'd become a hermit.

  "That woman is a walking contradiction," Lottie continued, still talking about Wilma. "Her stuff tastes so good, but who wants to eat it when it's laced with garbage? Your items may be a little duller, but at least I know I won't find a fishing hook in any of them."

  Eleanor's cheeks burned at the backhanded compliment.

  Lottie was about to leave when she turned back around. "Oh, are you going to Wilma's party tonight?"

 
; "What party?" I asked.

  Lottie smirked. "Surely, she didn't exclude you from her invitation list."

  I shot a glance to Eleanor. "No," Eleanor said, "we've been invited."

  This was news to me. I had no idea what party Eleanor and Lottie were talking about.

  "And are you going?" Lottie pressed.

  "Yes, we're going," Eleanor said.

  I lifted an eyebrow in Eleanor's direction.

  "It's good to be neighborly," Eleanor said. "Even if her cupcakes are substandard. I can't imagine throwing myself a welcome party. It seems a bit grandiose, doesn't it? A little pompous? But from what I hear, it's bound to be explosive."

  "Why is that?" I asked.

  "You know that Mistmoor is running its election again, don't you?" We nodded. Since Thaddeus had died, the winner of the mayoral race but hadn't yet taken his oath of office, he had no staff officially in place to take over for him. Which meant that Tazzie had resumed her role as acting mayor and a new election had been scheduled for two weeks from now.

  "The candidates for the new race are all going to the party, Tazzie, Grayson, and Amanda Hollyberry. This time, I hear that Grayson and Amanda are putting up more of a fight," Lottie revealed.

  I wasn't sure how much stock to put into Lottie's rumors. She enjoyed spreading them, that was for certain, but I wasn't sure they were always the most accurate.

  "Well," Lottie said, "I'll see you tonight." She left our shop and I started pressing Eleanor for more information. Why hadn't she told me about the party invitation?

  "I was going to tell you, but you've been running around so much with Lucy the last couple of days I haven't had the chance. Besides, I wasn't sure I wanted to go until now."

  "You mean until you heard what Lottie said about Wilma's slipshod baking?"

  "Yes."

  "Do you think that's true?" I was thinking of the rusty nail I'd found in my own cupcake. Maybe it had been an accident after all.

  "If there's one thing Lottie doesn't lie about, it's pastries."