by Brey Willows
She let the shower run over her. There wasn’t a temperature control, but the water was perfectly warm. She let it wash the salt from her skin and hair, and by the time she got out she felt like herself again. Asol’s clothes still felt clean and warm, and she was grateful not to have to give them back just yet. She’d never thought of her uniform as restrictive, but spending time in clothing here had made her wonder if she could make some changes to her uniform once she was back on a ship.
Kylin was lying on her back, staring at the ceiling, and Asol was snoring softly. Jessa sat on the edge of Kylin’s bed. “Thank you for sharing your story with me.”
Kylin’s expression was searching. “You asked.”
“I did. And I’m glad I did.” She picked at a loose thread on the blanket. “I can’t pretend to understand this world, and I won’t say that I don’t find some of its customs abhorrent. But I will say that I’m learning things in a way I never thought I needed to, and that’s a very good thing.” She looked up from the thread. “Thank you for showing me new things.”
Kylin nodded, still watching Jessa carefully. “My pleasure.”
There was something beneath her words, something that spoke of more interesting things to learn, and despite telling herself repeatedly it would be a bad idea, she wanted to know what those things were.
A knock on the door interrupted them, and a young Volare stepped inside. “If you’re willing, roosting hour will begin soon and the princess requests your company.”
Jessa moved away and Kylin got off her bed and gave Asol’s shoulder a little shake. “Time to perform.”
Asol looked completely awake as she jumped from her bed and stretched. “Let’s do it.”
As Jessa followed Kylin and Asol out of the room and into the main hall, she tried to push away thoughts of Kylin’s presence being requested by the princess again later, and in far different circumstances. For now, she had another experience to pay attention to. She could think of Kylin’s physical attention when she was in her own bed tonight.
There was a hush when the three of them joined the princess and her father on the stage. Soft trills and chirps echoed, but they too fell silent.
Tulvia stood, his hands clasped in front of him, and looked at the people around them. The silence grew uncomfortably long before he began to speak. “As you’ve all heard the whispers on the wind, you know we have guests tonight, and that is a rarity. We know one of them, and so we know their intentions are…harmless.” He glanced at Kylin, who tilted her head and gave him a wry smile. He motioned at the empty chairs. “Please join us for roosting hour, where we tell the tales of our heritage, but tonight will hear yours instead.”
Jessa sat beside Kylin and Asol sat on her other side. She wondered if she looked as overwhelmed as Asol did. It was the first time she’d looked nervous, and that didn’t help Jessa’s nerves in the slightest.
“Kylin Enderson, you know our ways. Tell us what brought you here.” Tulvia’s command was simple but clear. This wasn’t just about storytelling. It was about reassuring the people they were there under peaceful terms.
She stood, her hands clasped behind her. “Thank you for taking us in, Prince Tulvia.” She smiled at Fina and then continued. “We were traveling, searching for things to bring back to Quasi, when a massive storm hit. It disabled my flying ship, forcing us to take passage over the water.” She paused somewhat dramatically. “And then we found that the men crewing the ship were bad, and were planning terrible things for us. This brave sailor,” she motioned to Asol, who sat a little straighter, “rescued us. She got us off the ship in time, and rowed us almost all the way to your sanctuary.” She held out her hands, palms up. “And though we must return home, we are thankful to you for opening your home to us.”
She sat down, and Jessa puzzled over what she said. She’d left out an awful lot of details, but then, she must have had a reason. Still, it bothered Jessa’s sense of propriety to leave so much information out.
Fina stood and put her hand on Kylin’s shoulder. “There are many of us who remember your first time here, Kylin, and the adventure you brought with you.” There was a titter of laughter and calls from the people, and Fina’s father tapped his foot loudly.
“But I think this is not just your story to tell, is it?” She looked at Jessa. “I believe you have a story to tell as well.”
Panicked, Jessa looked at Kylin, who looked just as surprised. She leaned closer. “It’s safe to tell the truth here.”
Jessa’s pulse raced and she put her hands over her stomach to keep the butterflies from escaping. “My name is Jessa Arabelle. I’m the captain of the Delta Centauri interplanetary cruise ship, and we were hit by an asteroid that destroyed the ship. Myself and several of my crew were able to get away in an escape pod, but it too was sent off course and we landed here.” She swallowed hard, remembering the noise, the heat, and the impact. “We crashed here, actually. And when the slavers were after us, Kylin found us.” Tears welled in her eyes at the memory and she brushed them away. “She saved us, even though she didn’t have to. And she’s kept me safe since. I owe her my life.”
She sat back down and took a long, shaky breath. There was silence, and then the crowd erupted into a clamor of applause and cheers. Kylin’s smile was soft, her expression unreadable.
Fina squeezed Kylin’s shoulder and then turned to Asol, but Jessa saw an emotion even she could recognize in Fina’s eyes: jealousy.
“And you, sailor who saved our friend? What story would you share with us tonight?”
Asol grinned and not only did she stand, but she hopped up on the chair and raised her arms. “I wasn’t always a sailor. I was born to poor parents who sold me to a slaver when they thought it would be better for me to live as a slave than starve to death as a peasant.” There were hisses and boos from the audience. “But as I got older and more charming,” she winked and flexed her muscles, “another master saw that I was more than a slave, and she bought me and set me free.”
Jessa was as enthralled by Asol’s story as the rest of the audience, and she admired Asol’s ability to capture their attention. She was a natural, and as she continued with the tale of her young life, Jessa knew that she, too, had left things out. Things not conducive to keeping an audience happy.
“And then these two showed up at the docks, and they needed a young strapping thing to show them the way, and here we are!”
She finished with a flourish and a bow, and when her shirt rode up ever so slightly at her back, Jessa saw Fina’s eagle sharp eyes catch sight of the tail end of one of the scars. Their gazes met, and she saw in Fina’s eyes the same confusion and horror she’d felt when she saw them.
But Fina recovered well and turned back to the audience, clapping along with them. “I think we know who wins the night here, don’t we?” A cheer resounded around them. She sat back down, and the hall went quiet. “And now we’ll allow questions.”
The rest of the hour was spent answering questions from the audience. Some were about the state of the outside world, some were about the kind of ship Jessa flew, and whether she’d ever stopped at Indemnion before. Many questions were for Asol, who was quick and funny. When someone asked Kylin if she’d missed Fina, she’d blushed and said, “Who wouldn’t miss a princess like yours?”
When it was over, Jessa was exhausted and more than ready to fall onto the incredibly soft bed. People stopped and touched their foreheads to Kylin’s, welcoming her back, and a group of giggling young people stopped and asked if Asol would join them at a nearby nest party. She looked at Kylin, who shrugged and smiled, before she let herself be led away.
Tulvia and Fina turned to Jessa and Kylin. “Thank you for that. We know it can be tiring, but it’s good for the people to know what is out there, and not to be afraid, even though we know very well that the world beyond our island is not for us.” Tulvia raised his chin and looked at Kylin contemplatively. “You’ve flown well since you left us, Kylin. I’m sure your father
is proud.”
Only because their arms were touching did Jessa feel Kylin tense at the statement. Her expression and body language didn’t change at all. “Thank you, Tulvia. We have to grow up eventually, don’t we?”
He inclined his head. “We do. If you’ll excuse me, I don’t fly as late as I used to. We can discuss how we can help you tomorrow.”
Once he was gone, Fina turned to Kylin. “If you have a moment, I’d very much like to speak with you and have you meet my family.” She placed her hand in Kylin’s. “And it would be so good to catch up.”
Kylin smiled. “Of course.”
Before she could say anything, Jessa backed up, breaking their tenuous connection. “Enjoy your evening. I’m going to get some sleep.”
“Jess, wait—”
She very nearly fell down the steps leading onto the stage but managed to catch her balance before she turned and fled back to her room. She sat on the edge of her bed and pressed her shaking hands together. Alone. She was alone in the room and, she realized, alone in life. Why should she care that people wanted to talk to Asol, and people wanted Kylin’s attention, but she wasn’t of interest? She was a ship’s captain, damn it. She didn’t need anyone’s attention. Or…she hadn’t. But something about this planet, this whole situation, was changing her. She didn’t want to be alone anymore. She lay down on the ultra-soft bed, pulled the pillow against her, and let the tears come. There was no one to see them, no one to hold her, and no one to tell her it was going to be okay. That’s how it had always been, so why did it hurt so much now?
Chapter Fourteen
Kylin laughed until her cheeks ached. Fina’s kids were very much like their mother. They were fearless, throwing themselves off high pieces of furniture and expecting Kylin to catch them. Fina’s husband was a kind, quiet man who clearly adored his family, and his welcome was genuine.
When the kids, complainingly loudly, went to bed, Fina’s husband gave her a quick kiss and said he’d head to bed as well.
Left alone with Fina, Kylin curled her leg under her and smiled. “Family looks good on you.” She looked around the neat, lived in home. “Are you happy?”
Fina picked up her drink and led them out to the porch, where they settled in comfortable round chairs. “I am.” She took a sip of her drink and kept Kylin’s gaze. “But I would have been happy with you, too.”
Kylin sighed and looked up at the stars. “Maybe. It was an amazing time. I felt like everything was right when I was here.” She tilted her head to look at Fina. “But your father would never have accepted it. And you wouldn’t have those gorgeous kids.”
They sat in silence, only the deep trills of night birds filling the air. It was peaceful, just like Kylin remembered. It was a place out of time, away from the insanity and politics and scrapping of the mainland. And as much as she’d wanted it, it would never have been home. Not without her father.
“Do you miss it? Not having someone, I mean?” Fina asked.
“Who says I don’t?” She poked Fina with her toe. “I could have a wife and four kids at home, waiting to welcome me back with open arms.”
Instead of laughing, Fina looked sad. “But you don’t. And you have so much to offer someone. Why have you cut yourself off?”
This was a safe place, with a safe person. Still, Kylin couldn’t bring herself to go into detail. “There was someone. I thought I wasn’t good enough, but she convinced me otherwise. Then she proved me right when she left me for someone better.” The memory had lost most of its poison, but there was still a bite, an itch that reminded her never to go there again.
Fina reached out and put her hand over Kylin’s. “I’m sorry you’ve been hurt. But it happens to all of us sometime. It doesn’t mean you stop living. That you stop searching for the one who understands you, who accepts all you are.” She laughed. “And all you are is a lot. When you do find the right woman, she’ll be something special.”
Kylin grinned and pushed away the image of Jessa’s pretty eyes. That was definitely someone she wasn’t good enough for. “I still enjoy my life. I have plenty of company, and I’m not looking for more.”
Fina tapped her finger on her glass, a sure sign she was trying to figure out how to say something. Finally, she let out a sharp breath. “And that’s why there’s a bounty on your head? Because life is so good?”
Kylin looked up, surprised. “How did you know about that?”
“We hear things on the wind. Things ship captains speak of, when we’re flying high overhead. That’s why it took so long for us to get you from the training rock. Father was adamant that we not bring a sought after criminal onto the island. He didn’t want to put us in danger.”
“What changed his mind?” Sought after criminal. Some moniker.
“I told him it was ridiculous. No one can find us unless we want them to. And even though he was pretty treed off about us being together last time, he really did like you.”
Kylin remembered times where she’d sat and spoken to Tulvia, and he’d held her as she cried about the loss of her mom and the way life felt so empty. “He’s a good man.”
“And what about your captain?” Fina grinned. “Have you introduced her to your nest yet?”
Her place in Quasi was far from a comfortable nest. “No. And I wouldn’t go there even if I could.”
Fina flicked some liquid from her glass at her. “Why not? She’s attractive, she’s clearly intelligent, and she looks at you like you’re a star guiding her home.”
Kylin laughed. “She does not. That’s an absolute fabrication. I’m just the person she knows here, so she looks to me for help here and there. That’s all.”
“And?”
“And yeah, she’s attractive and intelligent and kind and sweet and funny…” Kylin flicked some of her own drink at Fina. “And she’s going to leave at the first opportunity. This isn’t her home, and she’s not a big fan of this planet and our ways.”
“And what makes that different from the women you bed in Quasi? Do they stick around? It sounds like you don’t want them to. Why should you care if you bed the captain and she leaves?”
Kylin hated when Fina got philosophical. She never had a response, and this time was no different. She was right. Why would enjoying Jessa in her bed be any different from any other woman? The truth was that Jessa was different. “I can’t take advantage of someone in a vulnerable position.”
Fina snorted. “That’s bird poop, and you know it. You’re afraid of getting hurt, and you really like her.”
“So? Maybe, yeah. But that’s a damn good reason, and I’m sticking to it. No matter how beautiful she is. I’ll get her back to Quasi, help her get to the station in the Heathers, and then she’ll be gone. Life will go back to normal.” Kylin knew she was being obstinate, and when Fina clicked softly but didn’t respond, she relaxed back into her seat.
“Well done, telling everyone about Asol’s heroism. She’ll have her pick of nest mates tonight,” Fina said, changing the subject.
“Yeah, well, she truly saved our lives. She wants to go to Quasi so she can be free to be who she is, but I thought she should experience the kind of attention you can only get from the Volare.” Kylin winked at Fina, who blushed.
“Perhaps that attention will be enough to make her want to stay. We could use some fresh blood.”
The tone of Fina’s voice told Kylin all wasn’t well. “What’s going on?”
Fina motioned to the trees around them. “It’s a closed system, and closed systems die out. We can’t keep living here, closed off from the world, without it affecting our numbers. Our breeding needs new people. But father thinks the world is too unsafe, too violent. I worry that he’s condemned us to extinction.”
The thought of these beautiful, unusual people dying out made Kylin’s heart ache. “Can I help?”
Fina shook her head. “I don’t think so. Unless you can change his mind. But you know he’s as stubborn as a tree owl hunting a hopper.”
/> That was true, but there had to be a way to reach him. “I’ll think about it, okay?”
Fina smiled and stood. “I believe that you were sent here to help us. You taught me how to love and how to be brave. It makes me a better leader to my people. Now, I think you’ll help us again.”
She leaned her forehead against Kylin’s. “Don’t close yourself off to possibility, my love. One day your time will come, and you have to be ready to leap. If you don’t leap, you’ll never fly.” She let go, gave Kylin a last, small smile, and slipped inside the house.
Kylin sat staring at the stars as she finished her drink in silence. All she’d ever wanted was to leap, to fly, to…to run. And run was the only thing she’d managed to do, and it felt like she was never going to stop. She was tired to her bones of looking over her shoulder, waiting for the prowlers of every species to come after her. Fina’s life was enviable, and she wondered if she’d have been happy here. She plucked at a loose branch in her seat. It didn’t do any good to wonder. She’d lived a life entirely different from Fina’s, and Fina was happy now. Kylin wasn’t sure what that kind of happiness felt like and was pretty sure she’d never know.
She set her empty glass on the table and stood. She leaned over the banister and looked at the ground far below. One step would be all she’d have to take, and no one would be hunting for her anymore. Jessa and Asol would be safe because they wouldn’t be found with her…
She stumbled backward, shaking. That dark place hadn’t called to her in a very long time, and she wouldn’t give in to it now. They needed her to get back to Quasi. And Jessa…was Fina right? Should Kylin be willing to go there, even if it didn’t last? She’d seen the look in Jessa’s eyes when she’d been dressed in the borrowed clothes. She knew when a woman was attracted to her, and there wasn’t really any question of that being the case. And she’d managed to keep her heart from getting involved with any other woman; surely she could keep it safe from Jessa too, and still manage to enjoy her on a more intimate level.