Oh. My. Hell.
I gaped at the Greek god standing in front of me in the moonlight, with steam rolling into the sky behind him. I’d seen Jax almost naked before, but never in full glory like this. I was positive I’d never get tired of the view. And naked in this setting—good hell, he looked like he’d just stepped out of an ad for all things hot and wonderful. His sculpted abs tapered into a lovely V—the kind that athletes always seem to have, but never real men. Well, Jax had it, and wasn’t shy about showing it off. The V directed my eye straight down to his crowning glory—the Beast. Jax was an incredible male specimen, and I couldn’t stop staring. He moved his arms back around me, and kissed me again, then bent down, picked me up, and took me straight into one of the bubbling pools.
“Hey!” I said, fighting him a little. Naked Greek god or not, I still hadn’t gotten an answer about the germ issue.
“They’re natural hot springs, sweetheart,” he said, reading my mind. “They don’t get cleaned. And you won’t get a disease or anything else from them.” He sat down and settled me on his lap. I could feel his hard length pressing against me, and suddenly I didn’t care much about microbes. Not. At. All. “Relax.”
“So, this was a ruse to get naked and seduce me in water?”
The corner of his lips lifted. “No, that’s my plan for tomorrow.”
I gave him a playful punch in the arm.
“I wanted to show you this.” He turned me in his lap and tilted my head back so it was resting against his shoulder. I looked up and gasped. I’d never seen so many stars. It was like the sky was sprinkled with glitter. I could even see the Milky Way threaded across it like a wispy cloud.
“Oh my God! It’s breathtaking, Jax. I’ve never seen so many stars!” I immediately found the Big and Little Dippers and pointed them out to him. It was a habit I had anytime I looked up at the night sky.
“And there’s Orion,” Jax said, pointing at the three stars lined diagonally like a belt.
I noticed Jax’s tattoo, framed by the stars, as he lifted his arm. “You know what I love?” I said, turning my head to look at him. “Tattoos. They just do it for me. I’m really glad you have one.”
He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “The artist did a good job.”
“How long have you had it?” I asked, wondering why he suddenly seemed more somber.
“Years,” he answered. “It’s hard to remember a time when I didn’t have it.”
I nodded, thinking about it. “I’ve always wanted one, but I’m afraid I’ll regret it.”
Jax held me tighter. “Just make sure it has meaning to you, then you won’t.”
“I don’t know if there’s anything I’m passionate enough about to put on my skin permanently.”
His lips ticked up in a smile. “You could always get one of a werewolf.”
I blushed. Jax chose that exact moment to slip his hand inside my bra. The lace above the cups scratched against my sensitive skin, and my nipples tightened immediately as he rubbed his fingers back and forth. “Do you like that, Syd?”
I nodded, my breath ragged as I felt his hardness straining against my back.
“So do I.” His voice was a husky whisper in my ear. “I can’t keep my hands off of you.” He moved his hands lower, teasing the top of my panties before he pushed under them, spreading his palm out as he reached my center. My breath came in gasps as he slipped a finger into my slick heat. Pressing in—“I want you.” –pulling out. “All the time.” He curved his fingers, stroking the exact right spot, the rhythm changing as he added another finger. His pace quickened and I writhed in his lap.
“Jax,” I said on an exhale. I tried turning around, but he held me firm.
His breath was scorching on my neck. “I’ve been thinking about what you’d feel like since I met you.”
I squeezed my thighs tighter, not caring whether I hurt—or even broke—his hand in the process.
“I’ve been fantasizing about you, too,” he said, his teeth nipping at my ear.
I could barely get a breath—I was almost there.
“I can’t wait to act some of them out.” His words sent me screaming over the edge. It was the best orgasm I’d ever had. As he held me close, I got the feeling that unless someone had a mold of his fingers, Jackson West had just ruined sex toys for me. And I was totally okay with that.
We’d been hiking all morning. After Jax had made me a yummy breakfast of ham, eggs, and toast right over the fire, he’d told me we were going out. “Going out” means a lot of different things depending on the context. In some cases, it could require nothing more than a pony tail and a tee shirt; in others, it required a little black dress, or even a pair of skinny jeans and a sexy top. I’d needed more information.
“Where exactly are we going?”
He gave me a look. “It’s a surprise.”
“What should I wear?”
His lips slid into a seductive smile, voice husky, “Something you can get dirty in.”
I’d blushed fiercely and then pulled on some shorts, a tee shirt, and hiking boots.
We hiked through beautiful canyons with red rock. Some were so narrow I didn’t think Jax’s shoulders would be able to make it through them. We didn’t see anyone the entire afternoon, and the solitude was extremely peaceful. We hiked mostly in silence, taking in the beauty surrounding us.
When we finally stopped, it was to eat lunch overlooking a stunning sixty foot waterfall. “I love waterfalls,” I said, taking a bite of my peanut butter sandwich. Jax had used white bread to make them, and the peanut butter was crunchy—my favorite.
“Me, too.”
“The sound of rushing water is soothing. I used to want to get married with a waterfall in the background.”
He gave me a sideways glance. “It would have to be a quiet waterfall, or you wouldn’t know what you were agreeing to when you said your vows.”
I pinched my brows together. “Good point.”
He looked at the waterfall for a minute before turning back to me. “So you’re one of those girls who have their wedding all planned out?” he asked, taking a bite of his own sandwich. “Actually, that doesn’t surprise me. You plan everything.”
I gave him a playful glare. “As a matter of fact, I do not have my wedding planned, because I don’t want a wedding.”
His eyes widened, and he almost choked. I patted him on the back and he took a drink to wash it down. “You don’t believe in marriage?” he asked. “Did your parents get divorced or something?”
I ate the last bite of my sandwich. “No, my parents are really happy. One of the few couples I’ve seen make it work—through the good times and the really bad times.” I leaned back against the rock. “I think it works for some people. I’m just not sure if I’m one of them.”
“I don’t think I’ve ever heard a girl say that. Ever.”
I shrugged. “Marriage has serious consequences.”
He tilted his head, interested, and waited for me to go on.
I took a drink of water to wash down the sandwich that was sticking to my throat. “I don’t like what marriage does to people.”
“What does it do?”
“Changes them.”
“How?” He seemed genuinely curious.
I stretched my legs out in front of me and crossed them at the ankles. “The person you choose as a partner has a huge affect on the person you become. You have to compromise and change with the person, or the relationship doesn’t work. You’re no longer making decisions for yourself. You’re making them for two people, and if you have kids, you’re making them for an entire family, and God knows, it’s easy as hell to screw that up. I don’t want the responsibility.”
He watched me for several moments. “What you really mean is that you don’t like the loss of control that relationships require.”
I lifted a shoulder as I grabbed a granola bar from my lunch bag and opened it. “I admit that. Watching my mom go through cancer changed
me. I couldn’t control the disease. Nothing was more frustrating than knowing someone I cared about was going through something horrible, and there was nothing I could do to fix it. Ever since, I’ve tried to be as in control of situations as possible. It’s hard for me to let go.”
“Interesting.”
I narrowed my eyes, annoyed that he was analyzing me. “Why is that interesting?”
“Because no one can be in control like that all of the time, Syd. Yeah, marriage—and relationships—are hard. They’re a flat out bitch sometimes. But being alone isn’t any easier—trust me, I should know. You live your life by this carefully chosen set of rules, thinking nothing will ever happen to make you deviate from it.” He paused, his eyes downcast and his expression falling into sadness. He sat like that for a few seconds before tilting his head to me. “I wonder what will happen when you meet the person you want to break all of your rules for.”
I shifted, uncomfortable. Though he didn’t seem to know it, I was pretty sure I’d already met that person, and didn’t know how it was going to affect me in the future.
“What about you?” I asked. “You don’t like relationships, either. It’s taken me months to get you to open up at all. I wouldn’t have pegged you for the marrying type. If relationships are so hard for you, how do you think you’re ever going to find someone you can be with forever?”
A muscle worked at his jaw. “I never said I didn’t like relationships. They just haven’t worked for me in the past.”
I stared at him, my heart beating faster as I got more upset. “You’re such a hypocrite! You just argued that I was wrong for not wanting to get married, but you feel the exact same way!”
He didn’t respond for several seconds. When he did, the eyes that met mine were intense, his voice even. “I said relationships haven’t worked for me in the past, Syd. I’m trying to change that with you.” He paused and then continued, “The difference between us is that you want to be alone because you’re scared of giving up control, and living your life putting someone else’s interests before your own.” He took a deep breath. “I want to be alone because I don’t like disappointing people.”
What the…? “What the hell does that mean?”
“Exactly what I said.” He stood, putting his water bottle back in his pack. “We should start back before it gets too late. We don’t want to be out here in the dark—bears and all.”
I would have rolled my eyes, but I was still too annoyed at our conversation, and frustrated he’d refused to go into detail and answer my questions…again.
We didn’t say much on the way back down the mountain, and back to camp. Jax cracked some jokes as we were making dinner, clearly trying to lighten the mood. I wasn’t ready for it to be lightened. I wanted to know what his comment about disappointing people had meant, and why he believed in marriage, but didn’t think it was for him. I needed him to explain why relationships were so hard for him, and why he’d decided to try with me. I knew being vulnerable was an issue for him, and I was willing to wait, but I needed him to give me something.
He must have picked up on my mood—which wouldn’t have taken Sherlock Holmes to figure out—because as we were lying in the tent on separate sides of the airbed that night, his deep voice startled me. “I believe in marriage, Syd. I just think it means being willing to give every single part of yourself…and that’s not easy to do. Love for each other needs to be cultivated every day, and it needs to come before everything else, even kids. It takes work and prioritizing, but that’s how relationships last. That’s the kind of relationship I’d settle down for. I’m holding out for something like that. And—” there was a long pause. So long, I thought he’d stopped talking and fallen asleep. But suddenly I heard his voice again in the darkness, “And I hope you’re the person I get to have that with.” He turned over and wrapped his arm around my stomach, pulling me close to him, spooning me.
I stared at the side of the tent, stunned. I had no idea what to say. I hadn’t seen this side of Jax often. He didn’t let people in easily, and we’d fought about it over and over. The fact that he’d just told me he wanted me to be the person he settled down with was a huge step. And the fact that I hadn’t run screaming from the tent surprised me. Jax wasn’t the only one benefiting from our time together. I was growing, too.
As I drifted off to sleep, I had the thought that maybe Jax was finally dismantling the wall that kept people out, and in the process, he was dismantling mine as well. Even if it was just a brick at a time, I’d take it.
I stretched as I got up the next morning and looked around the tent. Jax was already awake. I pulled some shorts and a tee on, and opened the tent. The sun was low on the horizon, the sky still streaked with pretty pastels from the sunrise. I found Jax loading the truck. I pinched my brows together, confused. We were supposed to be here for another day. Had I done something to make him mad and shorten the trip? “Hey…what are you doing?”
He smiled widely when he saw me. “Packing up. Get your stuff, we need to get on the road.”
“Where are we going?”
He came over and took my face in his hands, kissing me deeply. When he pulled back, he bit his bottom lip as he smiled. It was so sexy I wanted to kiss him again, and go back to bed—with him. “It’s a surprise,” he said, putting the cooler in the back of the truck. “Get your stuff so we can go.”
Another surprise? The first one had resulted in me going on a camping trip. I was worried what the next surprise would bring. I really didn’t like being kept out of the loop—which was probably the main reason Jax kept surprising me. He enjoyed making me step outside my comfort zone. I went to the tent and packed up my stuff, let the air out of the air mattress, and rolled up the sleeping bags. I put everything in the truck, and then helped Jax take the tent down. We were done and on the road within the hour.
Two hours later, we were pulling into a hotel overlooking Lake Powell. “Come on,” Jax said, getting out of the truck and opening my door for me.
I looked at the meticulously landscaped grounds and the beige stucco building done in a southwest style. It looked expensive...way more expensive than I was willing to spend on a night in a hotel. I’d have been ecstatic with Motel 6. I followed Jax inside and waited in line with him as he gave the front desk clerk his name. She was pretty, with dark hair and tan skin. She smiled widely at Jax as she handed him a key card and explained the location of the room. I got the distinct feeling she wanted to join him in it. That annoyed me. When she was done, I slid the key card off the desk and made a point to wrap my hand around Jax’s bicep. “Thanks,” I said, the woman’s eyes fluttering to me for the first time. “We’ve been on the road for a while and I just can’t wait to get him out of these clothes.” I winked at Jax and he laughed outright. He thanked the clerk and we made our way out of the lobby.
“You didn’t tell me you got a hotel.”
“Because I didn’t want you to know. I thought it would be a nice way to end the trip, especially since you were so averse to camping in the first place.”
I looked over at him, still holding his arm. “That was thoughtful of you.”
He grinned. “I know.”
We got to the room and he opened the door. It wasn’t even really a room, more like an entire wing. The suite was gigantic! The main area had light variegated hardwood floors, covered by a beautifully woven white rug. Modern black leather couches sat on top of the rug and a huge flat screen TV was across from them.
A gigantic flower arrangement in various shades of blue and white was on the dining table. “Jax, it’s amazing!”
“That’s not the most amazing part.” He took my hand and led me down a hall. Hardwood floors continued into the bedroom, where another white woven rug lay under a sleigh bed with a soft, white blanket on top of it. He led me into the bathroom with modern brushed steel fixtures and a large open shower. A soaker tub sat in the middle of the room.
I was taking it all in as Jax gently pulled me towa
rd the far side of the room, and opened the curtains and a sliding glass door that was flush with the wall when opened. I gasped at the stunning view. A jacuzzi sat outside the door, surrounded by hedges on both sides for privacy. And the jacuzzi overlooked the beautiful lake, the pretty red and orange rock clear from where we stood.
I’d been too stunned to speak as we moved from space to space. Now, looking over the calm water and incredible canyon, I found my voice. “Jax…this is…I mean, I don’t even know what to say. This is absolutely beautiful. It’s the most amazing thing anyone has ever done for me!” I reached up, wrapping my arms around his neck.
His eyes were soft as he leaned down and put one arm around my waist, and the other hand on my cheek. “I wanted you to know how much you mean to me.” He paused, like he was choosing his words carefully. “I haven’t let myself feel this way for a very long time.” He leaned down and kissed me, his lips pressing into mine, his tongue tracing my lips. I was completely lost in the moment, in him. I knew he was trying, and that meant the world to me. I wanted him to know exactly how much it meant. My hands moved from his neck, traveling down to his ass. I slowly moved them around to his belt buckle and started to undo it. He smiled against my lips, and said, “Nuh uh.”
Tempting Sydney Page 17