Desolation

by Bella Jewel

  “You live here?” he asks.

  I nod.

  “All this time.”

  I bite my lower lip to stop the tears. “Yeah,” I whisper.

  “I hate to do this, but I have to go back to work. Tell me you’ll meet me, have a drink, lunch, something so we can talk. I can’t lose you again, Pip.”

  I nod and he reaches out, stroking my hair back. “I’m sure you know, but this has been the best night of my life.”

  He smiles. “Mine too. Have you got a cell?”

  We exchange numbers and with a heavy heart, I leave the bar. He has to work, and I think we both need time to process our emotions.

  After all, reliving our pasts in each other isn’t an easy thing to do.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  THEN – Pippa

  Today is a particularly hot day. The sun is burning down over us, and our flimsy straw hats aren’t enough to keep it away. My frail body is crumbling under the pressure. Rainer tries to position us near trees or large crops, but then the sun shifts and we find ourselves right back to being in its line of fire.

  Whoever Artreau works for has him on edge a whole lot more these days. He barely notices us, leaving all the work to his guards. He used to find pleasure in taunting us, but now he simply keeps to himself. That’s fine by me—the more he stays away from me, the safer I feel. He hasn’t reclaimed his debt, but I have no doubt one day he will try.

  I only hope I’m strong enough to fight.

  A loud crashing sound causes my head to jerk up. I see a set of slaves, a young boy around sixteen, and a girl who could be no more than maybe eighteen, rushing towards the massive fence surrounding the property. My eyes widen and I turn to see the guards are chatting under the shade of the trees lining the front of the house.

  Alarm fills my body.

  “They’re trying to escape,” I whisper to Rainer.

  He’s stopped working and his head jerks up to watch the pair, who are scurrying at quite a speed considering they’re chained. They’re moving towards the fence, chains jerking, bodies heaving. Fear grips me and I take Rainer’s hand. None of us are going to interfere because we know, we just know, there’s no way they’ll ever escape.

  When they reach the base of the fence, they maneuver themselves so they’re both jumping at the same time. It’s the only way, since chains connect their feet. They manage to get their fingers over the top of the fence, but come to a problem when they need their legs. The girl cries out in frustration and they use their bodies to try and get over.

  They manage to get their bodies up, and put their feet flush on the top of the stone fence. All they would have to do now, is roll off the other side and they’re free. My heart pounds as I watch, flicking my eyes to the guards, and back to them. Just as I think they’re about to get over, a loud shot sounds out. My mouth opens in a silent scream and Rainer’s arms go around me as my knees give out.

  The girl’s head is no longer on her shoulders. Her body slumps off to one side, the side of the fence we can’t see. The boy, his eyes so wide with fear, jerks as her body falls. Instead of going with her, his body tips back over this side. The problem is, their legs are still joined. I hear the sounds of his shins snapping as his body jerks down. Then he’s just hanging there, arms flailing, screams echoing through the air.

  I lunge forward, but Rainer jerks me backwards. “No,” he growls into my ear. “You don’t go to him.”

  “He’s . . . he’s . . .”

  Rainer is so much bigger than me; there’s no way I’ll ever move us. A sob is ripped from my throat and then, through the silence, comes another gunshot. This one comes from the guards running towards them. It hits the boy in the head and his struggling ceases, and his body just hangs there. My mouth opens and Rainer twists me quickly, pressing my face into his chest.

  “Don’t look, Pippa,” he murmurs into my hair. “I’ve got you.”

  There’s the sound of shouting and then Artreau’s voice pierces the air.

  “Were any of you in on this little plan?” he barks.

  No one answers.

  “Answer me!” he bellows so loudly I flinch. Rainer holds me tighter.

  “No,” one of the older men croaks. “They just ran off. If we were in on it, we would be with them. We ain’t so stupid.”

  There’s silence for a moment, then Artreau bellows, “Just to make sure, I’m going to be putting permanent lines in the ground. No longer will you move freely. You will be stuck in a certain area until the guards move you.”

  No.

  God no.

  This tiny bit of movement we have out here is the only freedom we have.

  “And I’m going to leave them there so each time you come out here, you’re reminded of what happens when you cross me.”

  I gag and Rainer squeezes my body.

  He’s going to leave them there.

  I just lost another piece of my heart.

  ~*~*~*~

  NOW

  Pippa

  Music flows through the clubhouse, mixing with the sounds of laughter. I’m sitting at the bar, watching Tyke with Andi. He hasn’t looked my way once. Obviously he’s still angry about the kiss. That hurts, but I don’t let it show. Tonight it’s Krypt’s birthday, and so the club had a massive cookout for him.

  I never miss the cookouts, I like them.

  The rest of the club business I tend to stay out of. I’m sitting with all the girls, and they’re chatting about babies, kids, husbands and houses. I listen, smiling and nodding, joining in where I can. Santana is beside me, and every now and then she reaches over and squeezes my hand. I think she feels guilty that I’m one of the few ladies who have no idea what they’re talking about.

  “How’s work, Pip?” Ash asks, smiling at me.

  “It’s good.”

  “Are you meeting some awesome people?”

  I smile. “None as awesome as you.”

  She flashes me a smile and Santana turns to me when the conversation flows again. “How did it go the other night with Rainer?”

  My smile gets bigger. “It was amazing, Tana. I thought he wouldn’t want to see me, but he did.”

  “How is he doing? You know, now he’s free like you?”

  I shrug. “The same as me, I guess. He said he had a big problem with drugs and had to go to rehab.”

  Santana’s eyes flash. She understands that better than anyone. “Poor guy. I know how hard that is.”

  I squeeze her hand.

  “Are you going to catch up with him again?”

  I nod. “Yeah, I felt comfortable with him. That’s a nice feeling to have.”

  “And Tyke?” she questions.

  My eyes flick to Tyke, and I catch him staring at me. He turns away and as he does, something passes in his eyes that hurts me – it looks a whole lot like regret. I wish he would talk to me, express how he’s feeling. He kissed me, but now he’s acting as though he regrets every second of it. That makes no sense to me.

  “Can I tell you something?” I say, turning back to her.

  She nods, and turns closer to me so no one else can hear. “Of course.”

  “He kissed me.”

  Her eyes widen. “He did?”

  “Yeah, but then he went completely cold and shut me out.”

  She narrows her eyes. “That’s weird.”

  “I know,” I agree. “It was amazing, Tana. Then he acted like it was the worst thing he’s ever done in his life.”

  “Did he explain why he did it?”

  “No. He just dropped me home and I haven’t heard from him since.”

  She nods, biting her lower lip and looking over to Tyke. “You should talk to him, if you can. One thing I’ve learned with bikers is that you don’t beat around the bush. Just outright ask him what the problem is.”

  She’s probably right, but I won’t get the chance to ask him anything with Andi hanging around. She’s already shooting daggers in my direction, maybe he told her about the kiss. Hell he
probably made it sound like it was my fault. Maybe it was.

  “I’m going to use the bathroom, but I’ll be back.” I smile.

  Santana lets me go and I disappear down the halls. The bathroom inside is occupied, so I head outside towards the sheds to use theirs. It’s dark, so I just walk in a straight line towards the sheds. I crash into a hard, massive body when I’m about halfway there. A squeak is ripped from my throat and I leap backwards, unable to see the person I ran into.

  “Careful there, darlin’,” he murmurs.

  What a voice.

  It’s a voice I’ve never heard before. Slightly accented, with what I don’t know.

  “Ah,” I whisper. “Sorry.”

  “Maybe you can help me. I’m looking for Maddox.”

  It’s odd for a stranger just to walk into the compound. I can’t even see him to see if he’s a bad guy or not. As if reading my mind, he pulls out a flashlight and the space between us suddenly lights up. I look up, and up, and up. This guy is big. Like, Hercules big. My mouth drops open as I take in his face.

  I haven’t seen a man so dangerously good looking since, well, maybe the first time I met Maddox. This guy has the same edge. He’s tall, broad, and even bigger than Maddox across the shoulders. His eyes, they’re the strangest amber color, and his hair is a dark mess atop his head. He has a slight scar on his cheek and his nose is crooked, but he’s handsome, so handsome it takes me a minute to find my voice.

  “I’m, ah, yeah, he’s inside,” I whisper.

  The stranger smiles, and my heart pounds.

  “What’s your name?” he asks, studying me.

  “Ah, Pippa. I haven’t seen you around here before.”

  “Nah, I’m just here to get some help from Maddox. My name is Raide Knox.”

  Raide.

  What a cool name.

  “Well, Raide Knox,” I whisper. “I’ll go get Maddox.”

  He grins lazily, and nods. I turn and rush back into the clubhouse. I find Maddox standing with Krypt and Mack. I walk over and touch his arm. He looks down at me and his eyes soften with fondness. “What’s up, Pip?”

  “There’s a guy outside wanting to talk with you. He says his name is Raide Knox.”

  Maddox looks to Mack and Krypt, as if to see if they know the name. Both of them shrug, and Maddox leans in, saying something to them. Then he reaches around and feels to make sure his gun is still tucked in his jeans before striding outside. A warm hand curls around my arm, and I turn to see Jaylah standing beside me.

  “What was that about?”

  “There’s a guy out there wanting to see Maddox.” I shrug. “Now I have to use the bathroom.”

  I rush down the hall to give the inside bathroom another try. This time it’s empty. I use it and just as I’m stepping out, I run into Tyke. He’s exiting Maddox’s office, Andi following close behind. His eyes fall on me and his body straightens. It’s now or never.

  “Can we talk?” I ask him.

  Andi curls her fingers possessively around his arm.

  “Busy, sorry,” Tyke mutters, stepping past me as if I don’t exist. Pain radiates through my heart and I’m tired of it. Tired of acting as if we don’t care about each other. Tired of pretending that I don’t want more from him. Tired of being so insanely jealous of Andi that I can’t breathe. I just want him to either decide if he wants me or to let me go. I don’t know if Tyke and I can just be friends anymore. I’m in too deep.

  I gather myself and walk out after a few more minutes, not wanting to show any of them the pain in my face. The mysterious Raide is standing in the clubhouse now, talking to Maddox and Krypt. He’s even more dominating up close. His eyes flick to me when I walk in and he gives me a lazy half-smile that is swoon-worthy.

  “Who is that dude and why did he just smile at you?” Ash says, taking my arm and pulling me to her side.

  “I just met him outside,” I say, my voice small.

  “He’s so fucking hot,” Jaylah whispers, coming up to my other side. “God, have you seen his eyes?”

  They’re hard to miss.

  “Stop checking out the new meat, you girls.” Santana laughs. “You’re terrible. Have you seen your own husbands lately?”

  Jaylah scoffs. “Mack is divine, but that doesn’t mean that guy is not some serious eye candy. You should go and ask him if he’s single, Pip.”

  “Why me?” I croak.

  “Because you’re single.” She giggles.

  “No, I don’t think he’s my type. He’s so . . .”

  “Massive,” Ash sighs. “Imagine how big his—”

  “Ash!” Santana chastises and they all giggle.

  My cheeks burn.

  The men turn around and study us, and we quickly turn away. After about ten minutes huddled together, Maddox walks over to the group of us. “Girls, find your men to get the lowdown on what’s going down. We’re going on a ride, not sure for how long. Business calls.”

  Santana frowns and Maddox steps up close to her, wrapping his arms around her body. I watch them for a moment, noticing Santana studying me with a serious face, so I turn, seeing Ash and Jaylah find their respective men. I’m left alone, watching Tyke stare at me with a tight face. Pain radiates through my heart again as Andi sidles up to him and takes hold of him. Pain burns my heart.

  “So you’re not taken.”

  I jerk and turn to see Raide staring down at me. My heart starts pounding and I stammer, “A . . . a . . . a . . . ah, no. Santana is my sister.”

  His brows go up. “Santana?”

  “Maddox’s wife.”

  Raide grins. “That so? You’re too pretty to have no one.”

  I flush. “Um, thanks.”

  “So if you’re not with anyone, who is going to inform you of the goings on?”

  “Club business isn’t really mine,” I say, shrugging.

  “You don’t wanna know?”

  I shrug again. “I guess I do, but no one is going to tell me.”

  “I’ll tell you.”

  “But,” I squirm. “I don’t even know you.”

  “What do you want to know?”

  He steps closer and my heart pounds.

  “Ah, I don’t know. Why are you here?”

  Lame, Pippa.

  “I need Maddox’s help, for what I can’t tell you, but I guess you could say I’m on the run.”

  My eyes widen. “You’re on the run? From who?”

  He grins. “The law.”

  “What did you do?”

  He shrugs. “I skipped bail. If I’m caught, I go to prison.”

  “Why did you skip bail?” I gasp.

  He grins again. “I have business to take care of before I go down.”

  “What did you do to get arrested?”

  His eyes flash and I see a deep pain behind his eyes. “That doesn’t matter now, but would it help if I said I did it for someone I loved, who was killed?”

  My heart breaks.

  “Yes,” I whisper.

  He stares down at me. “You have damaged eyes there, pretty girl. I’m guessing you understand my kind of pain.”

  I nod.

  He smiles, this time warmly. “Well, I hope you can find a way to get your peace. We all deserve that.”

  “We do,” I agree.

  “Raide,” Maddox says, stepping up beside me and putting his hand on my shoulder. “We’re good to go. We’ll meet at eight tomorrow morning and head out. You got a bike or some kind of transport?”

  He nods. “Truck. I’ll follow.”

  Maddox jerks his chin and then looks down at me. “Tyke is comin’, Pip. His first ride in years. He might just need you to give him a pep talk.”

  My heart pounds. He doesn’t want anything from me, but I don’t say that to Maddox. I focus instead on the news he just told me. Tyke is going with them. Riding for the first time. That makes my chest so heavy it feels as if he’s just dropped a brick on it.

  “Is he ready, Maddox?”

  “Riding
isn’t stressful now he’s gotten some strength in his legs. Once he’s going, he won’t have any strain on them. It’s important to him, Pip.”

  I nod, but there’s a hard lump forming in my throat. What if he has another accident? What if he does serious damage? I separate from Raide and Maddox and say my goodbyes to the girls. I need space; I need to think. I rush out to my car, breathing in the fresh air as much as possible until I reach it.

  I jump in and drive home silently, pondering everything that’s happened. A part of me wants to scream that Tyke is refusing to speak to me, but that wouldn’t fix anything. I honestly don’t know how to deal with Tyke anymore. He’s upset me and I’m angry with him, an irrational anger that is building and building the closer I get to my house.

  My phone rings just as I arrive home, and I glance down to see Santana’s number on the screen. I pull into my drive and answer it. “Hello?”

  “Hey Pip, you left.”

  “Yeah, sorry. I’m tired.”

  “There’s more to it,” she whispers. “It’s Tyke, isn’t it?”

  With that, I just lose it. I can’t hold it back anymore.

  “Yes,” I sob quietly. “He won’t even talk to me, Tana. I don’t know what I did wrong. He wants to be my friend, but then he kisses me and gets angry about it. He’s breaking me. I can’t just be his friend anymore. I want more. I need more.”

  “Come around here, honey, let’s talk it out.”

  “It’s fine,” I say quietly. “I’m just going to go to bed.”

  “Honey,” she says. “I’m worried.”

  I put on my best fake voice. “I’ll be fine, honestly. Night, Tana. Love you.”

  I hang up before she can answer.

  I don’t know what to do with my heart right now. It’s a mess, just like its owner.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  NOW – Pippa

  I’m tucked up on my couch, wondering if I should send a message to Tyke when the doorbell rings. I look over to it, wondering if it’s Santana coming to see me. I get up and walk over, flinging it open. Tyke stands in the entrance, looking scary and beautiful all in one. His eyes are stern and his jaw is tight.