by M. Malone
“Are you sure about that? Because I get the impression that’s not a real thing. When a guy wants you, he wants you.”
“Mark my words, he wants you. He just has a funny way of showing it. Also, you are hot, girl. He would be lucky to be with you. So why don’t you remind him of that? And if you don’t know how, when I get there we will make him weep.”
And that was why I missed her. “Thank you.”
“Anytime bestie. Besides, you just remember who you are and that you don’t need him. You just need the orgasms he can provide you. And we’ll just have to find you someone else if he is uncooperative. If he doesn’t realize how awesome you are and how lucky he is, then he doesn’t deserve you. But if he’s just running scared, you know how to make him bend to your will.”
“Do I?”
“Yes. You just have to go after exactly what you want, just like you do at the company, and be unwilling to take no for an answer.”
Okay, I could do this.
Liar. You have no idea how to do this.
“Um, how do I do this?”
Priya laughed. “Ever heard of naked under a trench coat? Pretty much works every time.”
“You know what? A trench coat I’ve got. I can do this.”
“Of course you can. Hailey Livingston with a plan is completely unbeatable.”
“He’s not going to know what hit him.”
Oskar
Hailey was watching me.
She had been watching me all day. I smiled to myself. Even when we were trying not to be obvious, anyone could see the sparks flying between us. It had been pretty bad over the last couple of days. Every single slide of her gaze had my body rigid, tight.
The guys had noticed, for sure. And because she was living here, they’d been pretty good about it. But when we were out, God, Jonas couldn’t shut the fuck up. And Rafe. I guess all those years of me giving him shit for, you know, his former job killing people, he was using the opportunity to just give it back to me.
That was fine though, as long as she wasn’t uncomfortable. But for dinner, our honorary grandmother, Nonna, brought lasagna, so the whole gang was there. I mostly had held on to Izzy and volunteered to feed her because when you were holding a baby, you didn’t have to talk to anyone. You were mostly trying to keep lasagna out of your hair and her hair. But then Rafe took his niece, which left me with no baby as a shield.
And yes, I knew how it looked using a baby as a shield. It was terrible.
Desperate times.
But after dinner, with everyone else off to bed, I needed to get away from Hailey. I didn’t want to leave, but the looks she kept giving me… I was only a man. I was going to crack. So it was better I got the fuck away.
“I’m going to head to bed.”
She glanced at the clock. “It’s only ten.”
“Is it?” How could it be so early? It felt like it had been six solid hours since the awkward dinner from hell began.
“And we’re not finished with the movie.” Hailey looked over at the paused movie still displayed on the TV.
She’d never seen The Avengers, so Matthias and I had insisted she needed a comic book instruction from the experts.
Matthias’s fiancée, Gemma, was out on a job for ORUS, their secretive former employer. She wouldn’t return until tomorrow. So Matthias was currently my wingman and my personal shield because the poor baby had gone to bed hours ago.
But then some data breach alarm for the Winston Isles account had gone off, and Matthias had to go deal with that, which left me and Hailey alone.
“I’m really tired. And not feeling so well. Maybe it was too much lasagna.”
Internally I cringed. I needed to get away from her, but conjuring up images of food poisoning wasn’t the ideal way I wanted to do that.
Hailey’s brow wrinkled at that. “Oh, all right. I guess I’ll finish the movie by myself.”
I would not say that I ran. I did not run. I walked briskly out of the living room, down the hall, and then into the guest room I was using. Holy shit. I leaned back against the door, breathing deep and heavy.
My dick, unhelpful as ever, throbbed. And because I was an idiot and still wearing the sweatpants from my earlier workout, there was no way she wouldn’t have noticed my dick trying to jump out at her.
I banged my head against the door once, trying to clear the fog. What the hell was wrong with me? She was just a woman.
Yeah, genius. She’s got tits and an ass, and a face so breathtakingly beautiful you could cry. But I’d met lots of women. They were beautiful too. Why this one?
Because she matters. I knew what would happen if a guy like me was with a girl like her. She was way too innocent. And she would get hurt.
Frustrated, I dragged my T-shirt up over my head and tossed it somewhere in the vicinity of a hamper. I’d get it in the morning. I hadn’t been kidding when I said the guest rooms weren’t as well appointed as the rooms we actually used. The room was fine. Plush carpet, sparse decorations, but no pictures, no books, and the bed was smaller. That was the worst part.
I’d had a custom bed made for me. It was just the way I liked it. Big enough so my toes didn’t hang off and wide enough I could stretch and roll around in it. This bed was a standard king. My limbs were falling off.
Quit complaining. Get to bed. Ignore it.
I left my sweats on and climbed into the bed, trying to force my brain to shut off.
Tomorrow, I’d have to deal with her all day. The way the rotation was currently scheduled, there was no way I could avoid her detail. Especially as I’d begged to be on her service. So I was going to need all the rest I could get.
After forty-five minutes of me tossing and turning, there was a quiet knock at the door and I sat up. “Come in.”
The door opened slowly, and my eyes adjusted to the light peeking through. I saw it was Hailey.
“Are you okay?” I sat up.
“I um, I couldn’t sleep. I had a bad dream,” she said. I swallowed hard. Oh shit. I wasn’t strong enough for this. “Can I sleep with you?”
Me? She wanted to fucking sleep with me? My dick was on team hell-fucking-yes. My brain was on team what-the-fuck.
Fuck. Say something. And don’t let it be, get the fuck into bed. I cleared my throat. “Um, you know what? That’s not the best idea. Come on. I’ll take you back to your room.”
Even in the shadows, I could see the pinch of her lips as her brow furrowed. That was not what she expected me to say.
I took the covers off and climbed out of the bed. The only problem with that was my dick was still hard. I knew my sweats hung low on my hips, and I was pretty sure I had a decent-sized dick print going on. Hailey’s gaze scanned my chest. Then it dipped down lower. She chewed her bottom lip, and I groaned. “Come on. Let’s get you back to your room.”
With every step, my dick slapped against my leg as if to remind me that he was there and needed attention. Preferably from someone other than me. I took her to my room, opened the door, and let her in. “Get back in the bed, okay?”
She frowned at me. “Will you stay with me until I fall asleep?”
I swallowed hard. Shit. “Um, okay, just get in.” I cleared my throat again. “Get into bed. I’ll sit in the chair right here and keep you company until you fall asleep.”
She chewed her bottom lip, and I knew that I was losing this battle. Why had I gotten out of that bed? And then, Hailey did the unexpected. She pulled on the knot of her robe, separated the panels, and dropped it.
“You can stay here, or you can go back to your room. And if you go back to your room, I’ll just come back to you. I’m pretty sure you don’t want me walking around like this.”
I knew what I should do. I did. I really fucking did. But Hailey was naked. And scheisse. I wasn’t that strong. “Fuck it,” I said, and I reached for her.
13
Hailey
I’d wanted this, hadn’t I? So why are you suddenly so terrified?
&nb
sp; What if I wasn’t as good as I thought I was? What if I felt different? You're being stupid.
Oskar tipped my chin up, and his gaze pierced mine. His pupils were so dilated I could barely see the ice blue of his irises, and I wondered what he was thinking. There was more than lust in that dark gaze of his.
“What's the matter, Hailey? What are you afraid of? Me?”
I shook my head. Oskar's voice lulled me into a trance, while his soft touch seduced me, forcing me to forget my name, where I was, who I was with. My brain struggled for the right words. “I-I-I’m not afraid.”
“You sure about this, Hailey? If I go here with you, there is no going back. Get used to me being inside you… a lot. Because I’ve been dying to get my hands on you. My hands are shaking.”
His head dipped, and I held my breath. Ready for the electric shock that was Oskar to course through my body, igniting it from the inside. But his lips hovered just over mine. As if waiting for me to expose myself and bare all. I’d already bared my body, but he was waiting for my soul.
I swallowed hard. My shoulders rigid with tension, I forced myself to breathe. Deliberately, I rolled my shoulders, like the shedding of my protective shell was a physical barrier I had to unstrap, unbuckle, and unlace to step out of.
A little voice inside told me to let go, and for once, I listened. I didn’t have to be strong. I didn’t have to protect myself. I could simply be.
Meeting his gaze, I held it. I wouldn’t back away; I couldn’t run away. I could let myself be seduced. Let him take over. Let someone else be strong.
Suddenly, the breath I exhaled felt like freedom. It felt like bliss.
Oskar
“My brave little butterfly. You look scared now. You okay with this? We can stop at any time if you're not.”
I wanted her so bad, just the hint of her perfume was enough to have me throbbing and running off to the shower for relief. But I didn’t want her scared. I was doing everything in my power to make sure she wasn’t scared. But fuck, I wanted her. I wanted her willing and ready and desperate. At least that would match how I’d been feeling since I’d seen her again.
Her gaze held mine. “Y-yeah.” She licked her lips. “I’m okay.”
When I pulled her to me, my hands shook a little. What the hell was wrong with me? I'd already slept with her once. But that was a long time ago, and we’d both changed since then. I’d have to learn what pleased her all over again. If I was going to cross the line, then I was going to do it irrevocably and with flourish. I wanted her hoarse from screaming my name. My inner caveman wanted her limp from so many orgasms she couldn’t walk tomorrow. But that would take thorough exploration… Good thing I was up for the task.
I spanned her waist with my hands, dragging her flush against me. She gasped, and her gaze snapped to mine. The thundering of my heartbeat was all I could hear as I focused on her parted lips.
Last time we’d done this I’d had… some control issues. I’d gone way too fast. I’d been so desperate to get inside her, I hadn’t gone slowly enough. I didn’t know she was a virgin then. I should have guessed. I’d been way too rough with my hands, my mouth, my dick.
I’d left faint bruises on her hips from my grip. There’d been hickeys all over her tits, and she’d been sore after the first time. I’d tried to go easier the second time, but she’d been busy chasing another orgasm and had gripped me just so as she came, and I’d given her another too-rough session, with my teeth on her neck as her pussy convulsed around the length of my dick. My plan had been to slow things way down the next time, but I’d never gotten to fulfill that promise.
Go slow, you idiot.
I could do this. Give her what I’d meant to give her then.
I dipped my head, brushing my lips against hers softly. Immediately, she sighed into my mouth and wound her hands into the hair at the nape of my neck. Like liquid napalm, fire flashed quick, and I groaned.
I slid my tongue over hers, my hands sliding over her bare ass, bringing her tight up against me. Fuck, this was so good. Too good. So much for slow, asshole.
I tried to slow it down, take my time, but then she sucked my tongue into her hot, wet mouth, and I forgot for a moment that I was supposed to be taking things slow. Focusing on drawing this out. I only wanted to keep tasting her.
While she tried to wrestle control of the kiss from me, my hands fisted in the material of her robe, and I tugged up. Her sudden, shocked intake of breath was all I needed to take charge again. I lifted her up until she wrapped her legs around me, but I didn't deposit her on the bed. Instead, I turned to the door and braced her against it. My lips on hers, I muttered, “Fuck, Hailey. I don’t have enough control with you.”
“Is that bad?”
She used my shoulders as leverage and arched her body so that her slick heat met the bulge in my sweats. My dick had probably worn a hole in the damn things. I’d probably stop traffic if I went out like this. “Fuuuuck me.”
“That is the point, right? If you’re just teasing me, I might actually kill you.”
She worked her hips in a figure eight, and my eyes crossed. My shy little butterfly knew how to move her body. Who’d been teaching her? Fuck. I shoved that thought out of my head. “Hailey.” Her name was more grunt than English.
Hell, I couldn’t even be sure it was English. All kinds of dirty images and ideas were floating through my mind at the moment. Slipping into German was just as likely. I knew how to say dirty things in French too. I could manage in Italian if I concentrated. Whatever I had to do to get her to let me show her.
Lust chased desire along my nerve endings. I had to find a way to gain control again. You don't get to rush this time. Slow the fuck down.
I reluctantly removed her hands from the nape of my neck and lifted them above her head as I encircled them. I licked at her lips very deliberately, before sliding my cock against her other satin-smooth lips.
She hissed, and her body shook. “Oskar. Please. I need you inside me. I feel like I’m going to explode if you don’t make love to me.”
Yeah, I knew the feeling. “Look at me, Hailey.”
Her lids fluttered open, and her eyes were nearly black, her pupils were so dilated. As I kissed her again, my body rocked against hers, and she met every movement of my hips with her own. “You want me to take you like this? Hard and fast and up against the wall?”
She nodded. “I don't care how you take me. I just—” Her voice shook. “I have wished for this moment for years. Please just fuck me.”
Hell yes. “Nope. You had it right the first time. I’m going to make love to you.” I nuzzled her neck as I slipped my hand up over her belly and palmed her breast. When my palm closed over her fullness, she whimpered, and I moaned. Her breasts were so full and firm. So soft and responsive.
“Oskar, please.”
I kissed her again, savoring every flavor on her tongue, sucking on it until she rocked into me in a steady rhythm. She fought my grip on her wrists, but I held firm. I wanted her to have a good, strong orgasm before I lost total control.
Slowly, I backed away from the kiss. Releasing her hands, I steadied her by the waist and set her back on the floor. Her eyes went wide with questions, but she didn't say anything. Merely followed my silent command as I turned her around.
“Oskar, what are you doing?”
“I'm taking care of you, butterfly. Like I should have our first time.” I skimmed my hands up her torso, palming the soft globes and gently massaging. Her legs started to quiver when the massage turned from relief to sensual tease. Gently, I plucked the pebbled tips, and she dropped her forehead against the door.
“You’ll have to forgive me, but I've had a mild obsession with your breasts since I first saw you in that bar. I have spent countless hours thinking about if they tasted the same, felt the same. Wondering if they were still as sensitive as I remembered. If you’d still like it if I used my teeth when I sucked on you.”
Her breath came out ragged and sha
rp. “Oskar. I can’t. You’re killing me.”
I plucked the tight buds again. “If you want me to stop, all you have to do is say so.”
I trailed open-mouth kisses across her shoulders and the back of her neck as I played.
When she started to rotate her hips back against me, I swore and gritted my teeth at the red haze of lust clouding my vision.
“Lean forward for me.”
She hesitated for a moment, but then did as I asked. I released her arms, then slid down her body. I rewarded her with a soft kiss on her slick lips, and she shivered. As I kneeled, I lapped at her cleft with long strokes. With my hands on her firm ass, I massaged then teased her by sliding a finger inside her slick channel.
Hailey cursed softly, but I continued my licking and stroking. Working my tongue over her clitoris while I penetrated her with my fingers. The slick walls of her core milked at my fingers, and I felt them quiver. Kissing her inner thighs, I encouraged her. “Come on, Hailey. Give me what I want.” I continued to lick and stroke her until her whole body shook. That’s it. Come on.
Finally, with a whisper of my name in the moonlight, she let go.
Hailey
I shook as Oskar picked me up and laid me on the bed.
Holy hell. That was even more intense than I remembered. All this time, I’d been convinced that I’d imagined how good it was. That I’d somehow amplified it. But no. I hadn’t. If anything, I’d done the guy a disservice. Aftershocks rolled through my body, leaving me languid and foggy.
What was he doing to me? If I wasn’t careful, I was going to get addicted. Then where would I be when he left again? I didn’t know what we were doing, but that was one thing I was sure of. Oskar was spontaneous and fun. And outrageous. Guys like that didn’t stick. After all, he’d left before. He’d explained, sort of, but presumably nothing had changed. I just needed to prepare for that eventuality.