by Carol Rivers
‘I’ll stable the ’orse and give him something to eat,’ Bert told them as they stood at the top of the steps leading down to the airey. He hugged Lizzie and the baby, then Flo. After seeing to Benji, he had to make the long walk back to Langley Street. He jumped back up on the cart and clucked Benji on.
‘Go on home, then,’ Flo said to Sydney, elbowing him hard in the ribs. ‘The party’s come to an end in case you haven’t noticed.’
Lizzie knew that Flo was embarrassed.
‘Goodnight, Sydney.’ Lizzie started to make her way down the dark steps. She knew Flo wanted to be kissed goodnight.
‘Er, ’night Mrs Flowers,’ Sydney called in a strangled voice.
‘Won’t be a minute,’ Flo yelled.
Lizzie smiled to herself. Young love!
She had tied a key on a string for Babs and it hung behind the letterbox. With the baby in the crook of her left arm, she reached in and drew the string out. Turning the key in the lock, she walked into a dark room.
At once, Lizzie knew Babs wasn’t home. Her heart gave a little kick. Where was she? Making her way over to the perambulator, just visible in the darkness, she lay Polly inside it. Next she lit the two oil lamps and light filled the room.
Everything was just as it had been when they had left that morning. Suddenly Flo came flying in. She was about to speak when she saw the look on Lizzie’s face. Her expression of pleasure from the kiss she had just received from Sydney quickly faded.
‘Blimey, where is everyone?’ Flo spluttered, walking slowly forward.
‘Babs ain’t here.’ Lizzie looked in the kitchen and came out again.
Still with their coats on, Lizzie and Flo walked down the dark passage, the oil lamp in Lizzie’s hands, light and shadow fluttering around them.
At the bedroom door they stopped. ‘Can’t hear a thing,’ Flo whispered. ‘Let’s go inside.’
Lizzie knew before they went in that the room was empty. It was cold and still. But then Lizzie noticed something else. There was nothing in it, no clothes strewn over the chairs or shoes on the floor. Babs’ few possessions, most of them donated to her by Lizzie and Flo, were always scattered untidily everywhere.
Now they were gone.
Lizzie stood still, her heart sinking. Lil’s words went through her mind again. ‘A leopard doesn’t change its spots. . .’
‘Look, what’s this?’ Flo walked over to the dressing table. She picked up a torn piece of paper and read aloud. ‘Have found somewhere to live. Will be back for the baby soon. Babs.’
It was then that Lizzie knew what fear was. It travelled like a spear through her body as her mind raced ahead. Where had Babs gone? Who was she with? What was she doing? And most frightening of all, when would she return for Polly?
Book Four
Chapter Twenty-Six
1931
‘Take a deep breath, blow out all the candles and make a wish.’
‘Will it come true, Auntie Lizzie?’
‘One day it will.’
‘When I’m grown up?’
‘P’raps.’
‘I want it to come true now.’
Brushing Polly’s dark curls from her face, Lizzie laughed. ‘That’s a bit of a tall order.’
‘Will you help me blow them out if I haven’t got enough puff?’
‘Everyone will.’
The airey was full of laughter, smoke and happy faces. Though 1931 had been hard for the nation, Lizzie was content. She gazed at her five-year-old niece, dressed in her pale pink party frock, her long curly black hair tumbling over her shoulders. A thrill of pride went through her. Lizzie, at twenty-six, was grateful for the little girl whom she looked upon as her daughter. Today was Polly’s birthday party. Officially the day before, the twelfth of December, the celebrations had been moved to Sunday, when the shop was closed.
Lil’s pink and white iced sponge was decorated with five tiny pink candles. ‘Blow!’ everyone cried. Polly blew, extinguishing four. Her small heart-shaped face fell.
Lil laughed. ‘Aw, never mind, love. Make yer wish anyway. I’ll light ’em all again and we can have another go.’
Polly’s bright blue eyes were puzzled. ‘Shall I say what my wish is after I’ve wished it, Auntie Lil?’
‘No, keep it all to youself, ducks. Don’t tell a soul.’
‘But if I don’t say what it is, who’s gonna know what I want?’
Before Lil could answer, the front door opened. Flo, late home from the factory, came flying in. Her short brown hair was strewn over her face and she was puffing hard. ‘Happy birthday, monkey. May all your wishes come true!’ She scooped Polly into her arms.
‘Put me down, Auntie Flo. I’m just making me wish,’ Polly giggled.
Lizzie felt very happy, watching her friends and family. Her green eyes were sparkling, her long black hair drawn back into an elegant clasp and fixed at the nape of her neck. She wore a new beige wool crêpe dress with a V-shaped neckline. The dropped waist and accordion pleats were very fashionable. It was the first dress she had ever bought new and she loved it.
All the guests were spruced up. Lil wore a smart black and white two piece suit. Doug had put on a stiff collar and a silk waistcoat. Bert wore a clean pair of trousers and a set of red braces. Vi Catcher, sitting in the chair beside Fat Freda, sported a new hat with a feather in it. Freda, as usual, made no concession to the occasion. She wore with pride her market overall, a large flowered garment with voluminous pockets.
‘Blimey, I ain’t got enough wind to blow out me matches lately, let alone all them candles,’ puffed Boston Brown as he bent over the table, pursing his lips and pressing his handlebar moustaches out of the way.
‘No, but you’ve still got enough breath to flog that cheap fish of yours to all me customers,’ Reg Barnes replied. ‘I keep telling them they’ll end up looking like ’addocks if they don’t eat a bit of beef.’
‘You two should worry.’ Elfie Goldblum looked up at the two tall men either side of him. ‘You should be selling jewellery when the nation is nearly bankrupt!’
‘Go on with you,’ Fat Freda called from her chair. ‘You got all yer pound notes ’idden under yer carpet, Elfie.’
‘I wish I had a carpet, my dear. I don’t know such a luxury.’
‘It’s that MacDonald’s fault!’ cried Reg. ‘He don’t know what he’s doing. Says we’ve got ourselves in a blooming fix. But who’s to blame, that’s what I wanna know? Not the ordinary bloke on the street, it ain’t. We work bloody hard for a pittance and if I had half the chance I’d tell him so.’
‘A chance you’ll never have, my friend,’ said Elfie darkly.
‘It’ll mean another coalition if you ask me,’ mumbled Doug. ‘None of them up in Whitehall knows whether they’re on their heads or their heels.’
‘You ain’t wrong there,’ nodded the fishmonger. They’re putting up taxes again – wringing the last penny out of us, just like the other lot did after the war.’
‘What are you blokes going on about?’ cried Lil, hands on hips. ‘This ain’t a bloody union meeting. Now all of you, let’s help our Pol to blow out them candles.’
Lil lit the candles once more. There was a lot of huffing and puffing. All the candles flickered out and Polly was showered with hugs and kisses.
Lizzie smiled at Ethel, who had just brought in a plate of sandwiches from the kitchen. Ethel was dressed in a light grey dress, her fair hair styled short and smart. She was still very attractive, but seemed quieter now. Lizzie put it down to living with the humourless Richard all these years.
‘Your two enjoying themselves, are they?’ Lizzie asked, glancing at Ethel.
Rosie and Timmy were now thirteen and fourteen. They were happy kids and took after Ethel, or how she used to be. Full of life and laughter.
Ethel nodded. ‘You don’t have to ask do you? They love coming here.’
‘You should bring them more often.’
‘Wish I could.’ She looked up from under he
r lashes and sighed. ‘We have to visit Richard’s mum and pay homage on Saturdays.’
Lizzie couldn’t help giggling at the mental picture of the whole family kneeling at Mrs Ryde’s feet. ‘Still as bad is she?’
‘On a scale of one to ten, I’d say twelve. Next thing is she’ll be wearing a tiara and one of them fur capes.’
The two girls laughed together, but Lizzie knew Ethel’s mother-in-law took a lot of tolerating. ‘Is trade still brisk?’ Ethel asked, changing the subject as she always did when it came to Richard’s snobby family.
‘Not bad. We’re turning over, that’s the main thing. What about Rickards?’
Ethel frowned. ‘Well, the Depression’s hit us, no doubt about that. I reckon we should sell cheaper and take a cut on the profits. Encourage new trade.’
‘Why don’t you suggest it?’ Lizzie asked at once. She agreed with Ethel. They had had to bring their prices right down in the shop.
Ethel raised her eyes. ‘You know what Rickards are like – real stick in the muds. They’ve sacked two of the warehouse staff rather than trim the profits. It was a good job you never came to us, Lizzie.’
‘Yeah, I s’pose it was.’ Lizzie might have regretted her decision to marry Frank, but she loved the shop. It was the best thing that had ever happened to her.
‘Seen anything of Frank, dare I ask?’ Ethel asked tentatively
‘No – and I don’t expect to.’
‘He’s working for the bookie, is he?’
‘So I’ve heard.’ Lizzie hadn’t seen her husband more than a handful of times since Polly had been born. The fact that he avoided her made her even more certain he was Polly’s father. She had accepted her marriage to Frank had failed, but the anger and hurt were still there, locked deeply inside her. He didn’t bother Bill for money any longer, working, according to gossip, for Mik Ferreter. It was a fact that surprised no one, least of all Lizzie.
‘What about Babs? Still comes to see Pol, does she?’ Ethel ventured.
Ethel was the only one, apart from Flo, with whom Lizzie had shared the truth of the terrible night of Polly’s birth. Lil had a good idea what had happened, but Lizzie had always kept silent on the subject of Polly’s father. Babs had never said who it was and Lizzie hadn’t asked.
Lizzie nodded. ‘She turns up every now and then. Takes Pol up Island Gardens or the market.’
‘What does Pol think of that?’
‘She don’t say much. When I ask if she has a nice time, she just nods and says yes. But I notice she’s never too keen to go.’
Just then Polly came running over. ‘When are Bill and Gertie coming, Auntie Lizzie?’ she cried excitedly, pink icing round her mouth.
‘As soon as they’ve finished dinner. Come here, young lady, and wipe your mouth.’ Lizzie bent down and dabbed Polly’s small mouth with a napkin.
‘Will Mummy be coming as well?’ Polly licked her clean lips.
‘She might. We’ll have to see.’ Lizzie knew that Babs couldn’t be relied on to turn up, despite it being Polly’s birthday party.
‘Thank you for my book, Auntie Ethel,’ Polly chattered on, luckily not discouraged by Lizzie’s answer. ‘I like fairy tales. My favourite’s when Beauty kisses the beast. He’s not really a beast, but a prince. He had a spell put on him.’
‘I hope you enjoy it, darling.’ Ethel gave Polly a hug.
Lizzie picked up a knife and began to cut the cake. At the back of her mind there was always the worry that Babs would take Polly away. It wasn’t likely. She hadn’t wanted to in five years. Why should she change her mind now? She had nowhere to take a child, much less provide for her. But the thought haunted Lizzie. Babs was unpredictable, her mood swings frequent. Lizzie never felt at ease whilst Polly was out with her mother. She always breathed a sigh of relief when they returned home. What would she do if Babs demanded Polly back or just took her?
‘Want any help, sis?’ Flo came to stand at the table. She had changed into a pale blue dress that showed off her good figure and long legs. Her brown hair curled softly round her face. To Lizzie’s relief, the kiss-curl had finally turned into a smooth, glossy wave. The engagement ring on her finger was from Sydney. He’d proposed in the summer and Flo had accepted him. Next year they would be married.
‘No, but you could top up the drinks,’ Lizzie smiled. She watched Flo go off, happiness radiating from her sister’s face. Lizzie’s mind flew back across the years to when that expression had filled her own eyes. Her heart gave a painful jerk as she thought of Danny. Did he ever think of her? She could still remember the deep sound of his voice . . .
‘You all right, love?’ It was Lil.
‘Yes. Want a piece of your cake?’
Lil burst into laughter. ‘Like taking coals to Newcastle, that is.’ Lil wound an apron round her waist. ‘I’m gonna start on them dishes in the kitchen whilst everyone’s occupied. Fancy a chat?’
Lizzie nodded. A little reluctantly she followed Lil. She never quite knew what Lil would ask during one of her ‘chats’. In the kitchen they stood side by side at the sink. Lil ran the water. ‘You were deep in thought, gel. Is it that bloody husband of yours again?’
‘No, not really.’
‘You ain’t seen him, I suppose?’
‘No.’
‘Well you wanna count yerself lucky.’
Lizzie didn’t know about that. She missed being cared for as Frank had done before their wedding, his love only to disappear quickly afterwards.
‘Good riddance to bad rubbish,’ Lil said, her voice hard. ‘Sorry, but you know how I’ve always felt about Frank.’
‘Yeah, Lil. I know.’ Lizzie pushed back her dark hair that had somehow managed to escape from its clasp.
Lil sighed as she washed the dishes. ‘Do you remember the old days? When we had to bring in all the water from a tap in the backyard. You remember how you was up at the break of dawn, getting ready to push yer dad to market. I used to see you sometimes and think, poor little cow. And now look at you. A proper lady – and I mean that.’ Lil puffed on a cigarette, somehow managing to keep it dry. ‘You’ve come on a long way since then, love.’
‘Do you know Ma’s been gone eleven years and Pa five?’ Lizzie murmured distractedly. ‘Don’t reckon we’ll ever know what really happened to Pa.’
‘No, you’re not wrong there.’ Lil busily scoured the dishes. At fifty-seven, her brown hair was streaked with grey, her face thinner, but she was still the same old Lil. ‘I look at your old house sometimes and wonder where the time’s gone.’
‘Who’s in there now?’ Lizzie had lost count of the women moving in and out. There had been so many.
Lil sniffed. ‘Well, that brassy bit of stuff, Lena, has stuck her heels in; no one’s gonna move that cow in a hurry! The others come and go like bad pennies. Your brother turns up to collect the takings for Ferreter and he pays Symons.’
‘How do you know all this?’ Lizzie asked in surprise.
Lil smirked. ‘When Lena’s had a few up the pub she tells everyone her business. She’s got a mouth as big as the Blackwall Tunnel.’
‘And the police know?’ Lizzie always felt angry about this. ‘Why don’t they do something?’
‘Because the coppers get a back hander.’ Lil puffed hard on her cigarette. ‘The country’s in such a state everyone’s out for themselves, even the Old Bill.’
There was silence then and Lizzie guessed what was coming.
‘Where’s Babs today, then?’ Lil asked.
Lizzie shrugged. ‘Don’t know.’
‘Dunno how she could show her face.’
‘I hope she comes, for Polly’s sake.’
‘Probably better if the kid never saw her again.’
Lizzie gave a gasp. ‘Lil, don’t say things like that.’
Lil pulled out the plug with a vengeance. ‘Well, she don’t treat that kid right, never has.’
‘I don’t want Polly to ever think she wasn’t wanted.’
Lil turne
d to smile at Lizzie. ‘You won’t have to worry about that. You’ve given her all the love of a mother and more.’
‘But it’s not the real thing, is it? I’m not her mother. And she’ll start to ask questions as she gets older.’
‘You worry for nothing,’ Lil said kindly. ‘You know, I used to worry meself sick about our Ethel. There was I fretting over our Rosie and Timmy drifting off and us never seeing them again. But it’s all come around the other way. The more hoity-toity the other half of the family gets, the more the two kids wanna come over to see us. You know, they’re dead curious when I tell ’em the stories of their mum when she was a little girl and her two brothers who fought in the war. They like to hear about their two uncles who died for their country. They was heroes, our Greg and Neil, and the kids love that.’ They stood quietly for a moment, each deep in thought. Then Timmy came running into the kitchen. ‘Auntie Lizzie, there’s someone at the door.’
‘It’s probably Bill and Gertie, Tim. Could you let them in?’
Lizzie was thinking about what she and Lil had been talking about when Flo came rushing towards them
‘Blimey, gel, whose house is on fire?’ Lil joked.
Flo stared at them, her face pink all over.
‘What’s the matter?’ Lizzie asked, her heart racing. ‘Is it Babs?’
‘No, it ain’t,’ Flo sputtered. You’ll never guess who it is.’
Lizzie glanced over Flo’s shoulder. Two figures stood in the doorway; a tall man with his hand resting on a small boy’s shoulder. The boy had a mop of sandy coloured hair and huge blue eyes that seemed to fill his face as he looked up. The man beside him stood without smiling, until meeting Lizzie’s gaze his lips parted briefly, hesitantly, in a manner that Lizzie had only recalled in her dreams and had never dared hope to see again in reality.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
‘I thought you’d have a surprise.’ Flo shook Lizzie’s arm, getting more excited by the minute. Danny was surrounded, the questions pouring at him from all angles.
‘Blimey.’ Lil’s voice was a shocked whisper.