by Amy Sandas
He had ruined her. Utterly and thoroughly.
She could never put another man in his place. Not here, between her spread thighs. Nor in her heart. It was only him. It could only ever be him.
As love filled her chest, she looked into his eyes. Hiding nothing. Giving everything.
He saw it. And he knew.
He started to shake his head—tried to deny her revelation—but it was too late. His body started to tremble. Closing his eyes, he bit hard into his bottom lip as he shifted his hands from her hips to her thighs. He smoothed his thumbs over the creamy softness, higher and higher until he reached the spot where they were joined.
With his breath coming short and fast, he circled his thumbs—first one, then the other—over the bud of her sex. A demanding rhythm that tugged hard at the thread of control inside her until a sparkling spool of pleasure unraveled within her, spreading intense sensations outward in endless ripples.
Haylie came back to her senses just in time to feel his fingers gripping hard to her thighs and the hard, spurting pulse of his release inside her.
Chapter Ten
She couldn’t breathe.
She couldn’t think.
She definitely couldn’t move.
Sprawled across Roman’s chest with his arms wrapped securely around her back and hips, his ragged breath stirring the wisps of hair at her temple, and his manhood slowly softening inside her, Haylie felt more...cherished than she ever had in her entire life.
She managed to stir herself just enough to press a gentle kiss to the pulse at the base of his throat. A sound of pleasure vibrated from his chest, but the sound was cut short as he spoke. “I have to take you home.”
“No, you don’t,” Haylie replied. “Let’s just stay here forever. It will be fine, I promise.”
“I doubt our hostess would appreciate having the two of us take over her little lover’s retreat.”
Haylie groaned in dismay. “I forgot about her. I forgot about everyone, to be honest.”
Roman’s arms tightened as he rose to a sitting position, bringing her up along with him to sit astride his hips. Her chemise was now a wrinkled mess and her hair was even worse, half tangled up in pins, the other half falling down her back.
Haylie tried to right the disaster of her coiffure. “I must look a fright.”
“You look gorgeous,” Roman replied, his voice low and sincere. “I’m a wretchedly depraved man to want you again so soon.”
Haylie smiled and draped her arms around his neck. “Then I’m just as depraved,” she murmured before pressing her mouth to his.
The taste of him was heady and rich, making her insides ache for more of him. And just as she began to feel stirrings of life in him once more, he pulled back and lifted her off him as he rose to his feet.
Keeping her steady until she found her balance, he stated again, “I must take you home. Before anyone discovers us.”
Trying not to think of what might come after that, Haylie nodded. “Right. Of course.”
They dressed quickly with Roman helping to cinch Haylie back into her corset and doing up the long line of buttons on her gown. When it came to her hair, there was very little she could do for it without a mirror and a brush, but she pinned it up the best she could.
When they were ready to leave, Haylie took a last glance around. The little room looked as though they’d never been there, though the experience had been indelibly imprinted upon her heart and soul.
Roman extinguished the candle and solid darkness fell around them. A moment later, she felt him take her hand. His fingers linked with hers as he drew her to his side. “Stay with me,” he whispered. Then he opened the door.
Rather than going back to the house, they left the garden by way of the mews. Roman’s carriage was waiting in line with the others and he settled her inside before turning to the driver to give her address.
Standing in the open door of the carriage, he peered in at her. Haylie could not interpret the fierce expression darkening his features, but something in the weight of his brows and the press of his lips had her tensing with trepidation.
“I’ll get a message to your great-aunt advising that you were not feeling well and went home early.”
Haylie leaned forward. “You are not coming with me?”
His expression hardened. “I cannot.”
She wanted to reach out to him, but she remained where she was. “Come with me,” she whispered. “Please.”
He shook his head. “I’ll call on you in the morning.” Then he closed the door and the carriage was off.
Haylie leaned back on the cushioned bench, feeling inexplicably morose. The next morning seemed like a lifetime away. It was irrational, but she suddenly feared it would never come.
No, that wasn’t exactly true.
Tomorrow would come as it always did. Her true fear was that he would not.
She’d known what he was from the start—a devoted rake. A man who had warned her time and time again that her association with him would come to no good. Would he simply discard her now that she had laid herself bare to him, in body and in spirit?
It was a risk she had been aware of. One she’d taken readily for the chance to experience the wonder and beauty of being loved by him, if only for one night.
But even as the fear crept in, Haylie denied it.
Something had happened between them. She’d felt it and she would swear on everything she held dear that he had felt it too.
Still, no promises had been made.
As the carriage rolled to a stop, Haylie realized her cloak had been left behind at the ball. She would have to walk up to the door, fully exposed in her disheveled state.
If she could just make it inside and up to her room before anyone saw her...
Gratefully, the front hall was empty as she entered. After closing the door quietly behind her, she rushed to the stairs.
“Haylie? Dear God, is that you?”
She stopped with one foot on the first step and turned toward her brother’s voice, dread and panic warring for purchase within her. It had been nearly five years since she’d last seen James, but there was no mistaking the man in the open study door as anyone else.
Whereas Haylie had inherited her mother’s roundness of figure, James received the opposite from their father. Tall and lean, he carried not a single ounce of extra fat. He was not yet thirty, but his hair had thinned dramatically since she’d last seen him, leaving a smooth bald spot on his crown.
“James,” she replied.
His expression was akin to shock as he took in her appearance. “What happened to you? Where is Aunt Bethany?”
“Nothing happened to me. Aunt Bethany is still at the ball. I am not feeling well and decided to come home early.”
Her brother’s expression grew pinched as he crossed the hall to her. Each step brought a further narrowing of his eyes and a tighter press of his thin lips. “How did you get home? Who were you with?”
“No one.”
“Dammit. It was Granville, wasn’t it?” he practically shouted, his face growing flushed with anger. “Admit it.”
Haylie tensed. “I don’t know what you are talking about.”
“Do you think I didn’t catch wind of the rumors circulating about you and the marquess in Northamptonshire?”
“If I’d known a few rumors was all it took to get you to come for a visit, I might have stirred some up years ago,” she retorted.
He sucked in a shocked breath. “What have you done, Haylie?”
“Nothing.” She turned with the full intention of ignoring any further interrogation.
“Do not walk away from me. You will tell me what happened with the marquess and you will tell me this instant.”
She turned back to her brother. “No, I will not because it is none of your business. If you truly cared a whit about my activities, you would have come to town long before now. All you care for is how whispers about me —whether true or false—might aff
ect you. All I will say is this—whatever happened was by my choice and I do not regret it.”
Her brother’s gaze turned ice cold. “You may not regret it now, but you will. The man is evil. A selfish, depraved reprobate.”
Roman had been right, her brother hated him. “He is none of those things,” she defended firmly.
“You don’t know him like I did.”
“You don’t know him like I do. He is not the man you think he is.”
“He fooled you into trusting him. It’s what he does best. His intentions toward you will never be honorable.”
“Why not?” Haylie demanded to know. “Am I not worthy of a man’s true feeling?”
He didn’t answer her question. Instead, he said, “You’ll find out soon enough the man cannot be trusted.”
Haylie bit her lip against arguing further. Her brother didn’t understand and she hated that he’d managed to fan the spark of doubt in her heart.
Chapter Eleven
The butler gestured for Roman to enter, appearing to have expected him. After taking his coat and hat, he led Roman to a parlor right off the entry hall and left him there without a word.
Pacing to the window, Roman looked out over a sun-drenched garden, overgrown with classic English blooms. The garden reminded him of Haylie. Lush, vibrant, and lovely despite a lack of attention—or perhaps because of it.
His body immediately tightened in endless want of her.
He’d barely slept the night before. Though physically sated, he hadn’t been able to keep thoughts of those stolen moments with her from his mind. The experience had been...profound in a way he hadn’t known was possible. At some point through the night, he realized the why of it.
And then he couldn’t sleep for thinking of that.
The only thing he could do was stare at the clock and will the hands to move faster until he could see her again and ensure he would not have to endure such a night again.
Hearing something behind him, he turned in place with his chest tight and his heart thudding heavily.
But it was not Haylie, fresh-cheeked and smiling, who stood in the door.
“James,” he said with a tight jaw.
His old school friend entered the room with the same smug disinterest he’d had when they were young. “I’ll admit I’m surprised you showed your face here this morning.”
Roman had no idea if Haylie had spoken to her brother about him or what she might have said.
“I didn’t expect to see you either,” he replied.
“Of course you didn’t,” James snapped. “I’m sure you thought you could get away with ruining my sister consequence-free, just like old times, eh?” His tone was filled with disgust, but Roman was not here to hash out old grievances.
“I am here to speak with Haylie. Where is she?”
“You’re not getting anywhere near my sister, Granville. I trusted you once. I’m not about to make the same mistake twice.”
Roman lowered his chin. “Fine. You want to talk about Mary? Maybe you’ll finally let me explain, since you sure as wouldn’t let me get a word out back then.”
“What is there to say?” James sneered. “You claimed to be my friend and then you took my fiancée—the woman I loved, the woman I planned to marry—to your bed. Do not even try to deny it.”
“Why the hell would I deny it? I did it for you. Why do you think I made sure you would find us together?”
James’s face brightened with anger as he searched for some way to refute Roman’s statement, but he was likely remembering that it was a mutual friend of theirs, the Duke of Melbourne, who had brought James to Roman’s room that day.
“Was it so important to you to witness my humiliation?” James asked.
“Bloody hell, James, you’re just as blind now as you were then. Don’t you remember all the times I tried to warn you away from her before you proposed? All the times I told you she was unworthy of you?”
“You were jealous.”
Roman laughed. “Hardly. But I did know what she was really like. Mary knew well how to play innocent and pure for wealthy gentlemen who might offer her a life beyond her humble origins, but she also had no trouble bedding down with any other fellow who took her fancy. Mary was never faithful to you or any of the other men she strung along.”
“You lie. She loved me.”
“Maybe she did. I have no notion of that. But she would never have been loyal to your marriage vows. I tried to tell you, but you refused to listen, so I showed you instead. If you had still wanted her after that, I wouldn’t have said another word, but I thought you at least deserved to know the truth before you married her.”
“You despicable liar,” James snarled as he charged toward Roman.
“That’s enough!” The shout was enough to stop James in his tracks.
Both men turned as Haylie rushed through the door from an adjoining room. Her expression was pale and stricken. It was clear she’d heard every word of their exchange.
Roman’s stomach filled with lead ballast when she refused to look in his direction.
Instead, she focused on her brother. “Are you satisfied, James?”
Her brother didn’t reply. He just glanced from Haylie to Roman and back again. The red heat of fury drained from his features, leaving his expression flat and devoid of emotion. Stumbling back a step, he muttered, “Do what you will.” Then he left the room.
Leaving Haylie alone once again to face Roman without protection or support.
Roman wanted to go after his former friend so he could punch him in the throat for his careless abandonment.
But Haylie was standing silent and waiting.
After the long, agonizing hours apart, he finally had her within his reach once again. But the feelings coursing through him were not pleasurable as he’d hoped they’d be. In fact, everything had gone far worse than he could have imagined.
She turned to look at him and his heart suddenly felt like a cold stone in his chest.
“You came,” she said softly.
“I said I would,” he replied.
“Was all of that true?” she asked. “What you told my brother?”
Roman nodded. Now, maybe she’d see the truth of who he was, and she’d finally run from him as she should have done that first night in the study.
She glanced away, and he felt the loss of her gaze like a chill across his skin. He should have expected this. Eventually, she would have come to her senses. James’s appearance had simply sped up the inevitable.
Then she lifted her gaze again. “I understand why you did it,” she said softly.
Looking into her champagne gaze, he realized with a note of wonder that she truly did understand. Without demanding further explanation or justification, she accepted and understood.
He was so damned unworthy of her.
With a glance to the side, she asked, “Would you walk in the garden with me?”
Hope unfurled in his chest. It was an uncomfortable, beautiful, terrifying feeling. “Of course.”
She walked past him to the floor-length casement window. After flipping a latch, she opened it wide and stepped out into the wilderness of overgrown hedges and flowers that tumbled from their beds to fall across the gravel path. Once they were a certain distance from the house, she stopped beneath the spreading branches of an apple tree.
“I am sorry about James,” she offered tentatively as she turned to face him. “I didn’t know he was in town until I got home last night. He insisted on speaking with you first.”
“Don’t apologize. He has every right to be here. It is his duty to protect you.”
Her gaze met his with steady certainty. “I think he knows now that would be a wasted effort.”
Her smile was beautiful and tender, completely catching Roman off guard. It tugged at the twisted, winding ropes of regret inside him, threatening to unravel him altogether.
Tilting her head, she asked bluntly, “Why are you here?”
R
oman met her gaze. The time of truth had come. He just wasn’t sure he was ready for it. “You know why,” he answered, his words sounding curt in his discomfort.
She lifted her brows and her eyes flickered with a subtle challenge. “Are you saying you’ve suddenly decided to play the role of proper gentleman?”
Roman tensed. There was a tone in her voice he’d never heard before. “Haylie, what we did last night can lead to only one thing.”
She gave a soft snort. “You don’t believe that, or you would have been married a hundred times over by now. And frankly, I’d rather not have an offer of marriage if it’s given out of duty and nothing more. I’ve finally realized I’m worth more than that.”
“You are,” he replied readily. “You deserve so much more than me, but this is the only way I can take care of you”—his chest gave a painful squeeze and his voice dropped—“to truly make you mine.”
She lifted her hand to place it gently against the side of his face. “You don’t need to marry me for that,” she whispered. “I’d give myself to you gladly. Over and over again.”
“No. I intend to marry you, Haylie,” he insisted sternly.
Her eyes held his for a long moment, then she asked quietly, “Why does it scare you so?”
Of course, she would detect the fear in him, but he was determined to be honest. “I’ve seen the farce that marriage eventually becomes. It is hard for me to believe that fidelity and loyalty are anything more than fantasies.”
“Well, that is going to be a problem, then.” She brushed her thumb over the edge of his jaw. “Because if I accept your proposal, I expect nothing less than complete and utter faithfulness from you.”
Roman pressed his mouth to her palm. His voice, raw, rose up through his tight throat. “For what it’s worth, you have it, I swear.”
She pressed herself against him and urged him to look into her eyes. “And you have mine.” She sighed. “I am quite thoroughly in love with you, you know.”
Roman felt her words like a rush of warmth through him, but it was quickly followed by doubt. “What if it’s just an illusion?”