by Freya Barker
“All quiet?”
“Yeah.”
“FBI still here?”
“The tech guy, Greene. Working on something with Paco.”
“Where are my babies?” I ask him, eager to hug my kids.
Honon smiles at me. “At your house with Lissie and Yuma. They’re fine.” I let out a relieved breath and smile back, but Honon’s face turns serious. “How’s Brick?”
“He’ll be okay. They’re keepin’ him for a day or two.”
“Some fingers and toes were frostbitten,” Ouray adds. “They want to see how deep the damage goes. Also inhaled some water, so he’s on antibiotics.”
Honon nods and knocks on the doorframe. “Lemme get the gate.”
Ouray bypasses the clubhouse and drives me straight to the cottage. The lights from inside are welcoming and the relief is instant, but so is the guilt for feeling it. Brick just went through a horrible ordeal, and I left him alone at the hospital.
The moment Ouray turns off the engine, the front door opens revealing Ezrah, Yuma visible behind him. The boy comes running up to the truck as I’m getting out and slams me against the side, his spindly arms wrapping around me tightly.
It’s on my lips to scold him—a knee-jerk response—but instead I hug him back equally hard.
“It’s all good, boy.”
“He comin’ home?” he asks, tilting his head back to look at me and I notice how tall he’s getting. Won’t be long before he’ll start outgrowing his nana.
“Couple’a days.” I look beyond him where Yuma is waiting in the doorway. “Where’s your sister?”
“Fell asleep on the couch. Mr. Yuma just carried her upstairs.”
I cup his face in my hands and kiss his forehead.
“How about we call him Uncle Yuma instead? No more of the mister stuff. You got lots of uncles and aunties here. No misters or missus.”
I glance up to find Ouray standing a few feet away, giving me a nod of approval. To my surprise, Yuma gives me a quick hug at the door before letting me pass. Lissie twists her head when I come in. She’s on the couch, feeding Finn, Jesse asleep beside her and Lettie is in her car seat on the coffee table, also asleep.
“Hey.”
She smiles sweetly and my heart swells. Who would’ve thought, two years ago, I’d have a good friend who doesn’t ask questions and jumps in to help out, an extended family looking out for me like I was one of their own.
Ezrah kicks off his boots and I remind him to put them away properly. Then I pull him back for another hug.
“You okay, baby?”
“Yeah.”
“Think maybe it’s time to head to bed?”
He lifts his face. “Are you gonna be here when I wake up?”
“Promise. Maybe you guys can come and see Brick tomorrow, we’ll see. Say goodnight to Lissie.”
His arms tighten around me before letting go, lifting a hand at Lissie, and heading upstairs. My Ezrah; for all his attitude making him seem older, he’s still my little boy.
I shrug out of my coat and toe off my boots before walking in, but I almost stumble when my foot catches on something.
“Sorry,” Lissie says. “I should’ve put that away.”
I bend over to untangle my foot from the strap of Finn’s diaper bag. I’m about to put it at the base of the stairs to take up, when I suddenly remember the nurse handing us the bag in the hospital. “The bag is his. EMTs brought it in with him.”
Instead of walking inside I turn to the front door and pull it open. Yuma and Ouray, talking on the front step, both look up.
“What is it?” Ouray asks, seeing my face.
I hold up the bag.
“This is Finn’s diaper bag.” When they still seem confused I add, “It came from Kelsey’s car.”
_______________
FBI Agent Jasper Greene is unpacking the diaper bag on my dining table, examining every item he pulls out carefully. Yuma and Ouray flanking him. I have Finn on my shoulder, dozing off, and Wapi is driving Lissie home with the kids.
“Can I get some paper towels?” the agent asks Ouray, who grabs the roll off the counter and hands it over.
I watch as Greene opens the jar of diaper cream and digs his fingers in, feeling around.
“Nothing,” he states, setting the jar aside and wiping his hands.
He’s already gone through the spare clothing, examined every diaper, and now grabs for the wipes. Most of those things we put in the bag, but he said he needs to make sure.
The entire contents are spread out over the table and he turns his attention to the bag itself.
“Got it,” he says, and we all bend closer to see.
He’s feeling around the base of the strap, where it is sewn into the quilted fabric of the bag. From his jeans he pulls one of those pocketknives with numerous different utensils and pulls up what looks like a toothpick. He pulls at the threads to create an opening and reveals a small metal tab, not even an inch long. It looks nothing like a key. He snaps a few pictures and puts his phone away before pulling the item free.
“Thumb drive,” Ouray mumbles.
“What is that?” I ask.
“It’s a convertible flash drive,” Jasper explains. “It’s a storage system for computer files. You plug it in one of the ports of the computer or on your phone and you can save information to it.” He turns the small thing around in his hands then he turns to me with a smile. “Good catch.”
“So now what?” Ouray wants to know.
“Now I’m taking this back to the office, see what’s on it.” He tucks the thing in his pocket and looks at Ouray. “We’re keeping this under the radar for now. I don’t want it to get out we found something and the fewer people who know right now, the better it is.”
Ouray walks him to the door where they spend another few minutes, their voices too low to overhear.
“Want me to put him down for you?” Yuma says, pointing at Finn, who appears to be fast asleep.
“I’ve got it. I want to check in on the kids anyway.”
“Why don’t you try to get some rest too?” he suggests. “I’m gonna stay here tonight, so you won’t be alone.”
“You don’t have to do that, you got your own family to get home to,” I point out, but he shakes his head with a smirk.
“Have you met Lissie?” he jokes. “My wife would have my balls if I showed up tonight. In fact, the only way I could get her to take the kids home was if I promised not to leave your side. So there you go, take it up with the boss.” I roll my eyes at him, but he just grins and leans in to kiss my cheek. “I’ve got you tonight. Get some sleep.”
I walk through the living room just as Ouray shuts the door on the agent and turns around.
“Heading to bed?”
“Think so. I’m just worried about Brick alone at the hospital.”
“He won’t be alone. Jasper’s gonna make sure he’s well covered. I’m gonna head over to the clubhouse, see what’s going on there. Yuma will stay here and we’ve got the entire compound covered. There’s nothing to worry about.”
I give him an awkward hug, trying not to wake Finn, and head upstairs. The baby barely registers me putting him down in his crib. Then I check in on Kiara, who is starfished in the middle of her bed. Her hair is starting to curl around her face and I remind myself to tighten her braids tomorrow morning. A quick kiss she doesn’t react to, and I pull the door partially shut. Tonight I want to be able to hear all my kids.
Next is Ezrah, whose room is dark, but I can see his eyes are open when I approach the bed.
“Can’t sleep?”
He shakes his head.
I sit down on the mattress beside him, running my hand over his dreads. Those could do with some work too.
“What’s happening, Nana?” he asks, and I realize there’s nothing wrong with that boy’s sight or hearing. He’s too young to burden with the truth, but Ezrah has seen and heard too much in his life already to be brushed off.
“I’m not quite sure myself, but I do know the FBI and the police are lookin’ into it. With Brick in the hospital, we’re gonna be careful for a bit so Yuma’s spending the night here and tomorrow I’m gonna keep you guys home from school.”
“’Cause if he was home he’d be lookin’ after us, right?”
I bend down and put a hand to his cheek.
“You know he would. Now, try and get some sleep. Nana’s goin’ to bed too.”
His arms come up around my neck.
“I’ll look after us too, Nana,” he promises.
When I walk into the bathroom to wash up for the night, tears burn the back of my eyes.
I hate for my grandson to feel that weight.
CHAPTER 19
Brick
“NOT LOOKING TOO bad.”
I check out my toes the doctor is studying. They’re all still there with just a few small blisters. I’ve been warned some of the skin could turn black and would probably just slough off.
“I think your heavy socks and boots may have prevented further damage,” he suggests, wrapping them back up. “You’ll need to stay off your feet as much as possible for a few weeks, though. Now, let’s have a look at your hand.”
My little finger is the only one that blistered and it doesn’t look too appealing.
“That’s one to keep an eye on. See how the skin on the tip is still discolored? And that blister is blood-filled. Both of those things indicate a more severe case.” He starts rebandaging my hand while he talks. “We’ll send you home with some medication to improve your blood flow and with care instructions. I suggest you follow those to a T if you want to preserve your digits. Especially that one.” He points at my finger. “I’ll want to see you again in a week to check up on you.” He reaches out his hand and I shake it. “You’re a lucky man, Mr. Paver. Your lungs sound like they’ve cleared, and hopefully the frostbite will heal. That was quite an ordeal you went through and many would not have come out the way you have, if at all.”
With that he walks out the door, leaving me to consider the truth of his words.
I am a lucky man and walking in is more proof of that in the form of Lisa holding Kiara’s hand and Ezrah following right behind them. Ouray is last to enter, carrying my grandson.
God knows I don’t deserve this beautiful family looking at me. What if I put them in danger? It would fucking rip me apart, but maybe I should keep my distance. I spent a lot of the night thinking about how to keep them safe and the easiest way would be to…
“How come you’re sitting up, Papa?”
Kiara’s voice has me choke up to a point where I can’t even answer. Was only yesterday I didn’t think I’d hear that little chirp again.
“He’s feeling better,” Ouray jumps in for me, as he lifts Finn from his seat like he’s done nothing else his whole life. “Here, say hello to your boy.”
The big gummy smile directed at me when Ouray plants him on my lap is a fucking gift.
“Come here,” I tell Lisa, catching her eye over Finn’s head. She leans in and barely brushes her lips against mine. “You can try that again later,” I whisper, and then add a little louder, “Sleep okay last night?”
“I did okay.”
Right. I don’t believe that for a second since I didn’t sleep particularly well either.
“Can I get a kiss hello from you too, Princess?”
“Sure!”
Kiara tries climbing on the side of the bed but Lisa has to lift her up.
“Guess what?”
“What?” she echoes back.
“I get to come home today.”
“Yay!”
From the corner of my eye I see Ouray slipping out the door and notice Ezrah keeping his distance.
“What’s going on with you, kid?”
The boy shrugs.
“Missin’ school today.”
“I see that. How much longer ’til Christmas break?”
“Three weeks. Are you really comin’ home today?” He changes topic.
“Doc said I could. They’re gettin’ the paperwork ready.”
“Coulda brought you some clothes had I known,” Lisa points out.
“Just found out myself, Sugar. I’m sure they can lend me some scrubs to get home in.”
“That ain’t gonna keep you warm.” Lisa blows a stray curl from her forehead. She’s wearing her hair natural again, which puts a smile on my face.
“Taken care of,” Ouray says, walking into the room. “Yuma is on his way with a change of clothes for ya.”
He arrives with a bag just as the nurse comes in with my discharge papers. Ouray took the kids to the cafeteria to get them a snack five minutes ago, and Lisa just finished telling me they found a flash drive in Finn’s diaper bag.
I fucking hope this is the beginning of the end and this mess will be over with soon, because I’m about ready for things to get back to normal. Although I’m not quite clear on what normal for us would look like, I sure as hell would like to find out.
“Need help?” Yuma asks, grinning as he pulls my stuff from the duffel.
“Respect, brother, but fuck off.”
He chuckles, walking out into the hallway and Lisa’s about to follow him when I call her back.
“Where are you going? He can fuck off but not you. Close the door and you can give me a hand.”
She shuts the door but stays on that side of the room, leaning against it with her arms crossed and one eyebrow pulled up.
“That sounded an awful lot like an order.”
I don’t bother hiding the lecherous grin spreading on my face.
“You gonna stand there? You still owe me a kiss.”
A smile plays over her generous mouth as she closes the distance.
It takes a little longer than necessary for me to get dressed, but eventually I’m pushed down the hall in a wheelchair—doctor’s orders—with a much too gleeful Yuma behind me.
“Can I come with you, Uncle Yuma?”
“Sure thing, kid. If it’s okay with your nana,” he tells Ezrah.
I notice Lisa throwing Ezrah a worried look, but she concedes to letting him go with my brother. Something is up with that boy because he’s been distant the entire time he’s been here. I barely got him to interact.
The painkillers have done a good job and I barely feel a thing when I get out of the wheelchair and hoist myself up into Ouray’s big SUV. Lisa insisted she’d sit behind me with the baby, and Kiara was thrilled to have the third row of seats to herself. Normally that’s the spot Ezrah claims.
I twist around when Lisa is settled in and keep my voice down so Kiara can’t listen in.
“Something wrong with Ezrah?”
“He worries. My boy don’t believe good things last. It’ll help you’re comin’ home.”
“Not gonna let anything bad happen, Sugar,” I reassure her.
“Your brothers fished you out of the freezing water yesterday, Brick. You were barely breathin’,” she reminds me, a sad smile on her face.
Maybe Ezrah doesn’t believe good things last, but neither does his grandmother. Suddenly I feel guilty for my earlier thoughts.
I reach back, putting my hand on her knee.
“I’m here, I’m alive, and I’m not gonna let anything bad happen, Lisa. Swear to Christ.”
Fuck. Hope I can keep my word.
Lisa
I just want things to go back to normal.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad Brick is home, but with the kids both at home too, and the baby, there isn’t a lot of room to get around.
On top of that it’s just Tuesday and I’m scared to send the kids back to school, but I’m also worried about all they’d miss staying home until it’s no longer dangerous. That could be a week, or weeks, God forbid.
I just snapped at Kiara, whose chatter has been constant since we got home a few hours ago. The child doesn’t give me a chance to think and I’m trying to figure out what to do for dinner. The big crocodile tea
rs in her eyes have guilt surge up like bile, tasting foul in the back of my throat.
“Kiara,” Brick calls from the couch. “Why don’t you come sit with me and we’ll find something to watch on TV?”
I watch as she moves to him, hopping on the couch and cuddling under his arm. He throws me a wink over his shoulder. Great, the man who was just released from the hospital after almost losing his life has to come to my rescue.
Everything in the freezer is rock-hard, but I pull out a package of ground beef anyway. I’ll zap it and then turn it into taco meat. It’s not complicated and the kids love it so I won’t get any complaints. I’m unwrapping the beef when Ezrah tentatively sidles up to me at the counter.
“Can I help, Nana?”
His sweet face is full of concern and I almost lose it right then. My kids count on me—everyone counts on me—I have to keep my shit together.
“Yeah, baby. Wash the lettuce for me? It’s in the vegetable drawer.”
Ezrah is helping quietly, washing and cutting the lettuce into narrow strips, Brick and Kiara are cuddled on the couch watching some Disney movie on TV, and I’m starting to relax while working on the beef.
Then the baby monitor crackles with Finn’s cries and the doorbell rings.
I squeeze my eyes closed, take a deep breath, and turn off the burner.
“I can get the door,” Ezrah offers.
“No, baby. I’ve got it, Finn can wait a few minutes.”
I grab a towel and walk to the front door while wiping my hands. It’s Luna. She winces when she sees me.
“I know this is a shitty time and I’m sorry, but I need to talk to Brick.”
“No problem.” I step aside and let her in, just as Ezrah walks to the stairs.
“I can get the baby,” he offers, “I know how to change his diaper,” and before I have a chance to answer he’s heading upstairs.
“Kiara, baby,” I call out to my granddaughter. “Wanna come learn how to make Finn his bottle?”
Bless the child’s sunny disposition and short attention span, because those tears I caused earlier seem completely forgotten as she hops off the couch and joins me in the kitchen.
The voices from the living room are muted and I’d love to know what they’re discussing, but I don’t want Kiara to overhear.