Dottie wore a simple white dress that her Aunt Sadie made, and Bill wore a black suit, white dress shirt, and black cowboy hat. The bouquet Dottie carried was made of a collection of the wildflowers found on the ranch, held together by a thin, leather tie-down.
Instead of going on a honeymoon, the couple wanted to spend their first few days as a married couple in their new home. After being apart so much of the previous four years, they wanted to spend their time walking the ranch land, riding horses, and planning their future together.
Bill woke and saw the note from Dottie resting against her pillow. She’d gone up to what they now called the main house, to pick up a few ingredients she needed to make breakfast.
He didn’t know how long ago she left, so he decided to take a shower before she got back. She’d shoo him away from the kitchen anyway, if she was cooking something she wanted to be a surprise.
As he turned the water off, he heard the phone ringing. He grabbed a towel, and walked down the hall and into the kitchen dripping water as he went. He knew he better get it cleaned up before his wife got back, or she wouldn’t be too happy with him.
The phone stopped ringing before he got to it. He was five paces away, headed back to the bathroom to dry off, when it started ringing again.
“Good morning, Patterson Ranch, this is—”
Before he could finish, his mama stopped him. “Bill get over here quick. Something’s happened to Dottie. I called the ambulance, but Clancy needs your help.”
Bill left the phone receiver dangling in the kitchen. He grabbed his pants and boots, and flew out of the house. He was halfway across the meadow by the time he pulled his shirt over his head. He could see Clancy kneeling on the ground with a person that had to be Dottie.
Two days into their perfectly idyllic life, Bill feared it was coming to a horrible end.
Chapter 18
Tristan was within a few feet of him when Bullet walked out of the barn leading two saddled horses. This was one thing they’d never done together, and if this thing between them, whatever it was, was ending, he wanted to carry the memory of them riding together with him for the rest of his life.
“Bullet, we need to talk.”
“I know we do. On horseback.”
“No, I don’t have time for this.”
Bullet threw a leg over his horse and gave it a little kick, pulling the reins to the right and away from where Tristan stood. “If you wanna talk, it’s this way, or no way.”
***
Tristan huffed and grabbed the reins of the second horse before it decided to follow the one Bullet was on. She quickly adjusted the stirrups, threw a leg over, and followed in the direction Bullet had gone.
He was on the other side of the barn waiting when she came around. As soon as he saw her, Bullet coaxed his horse into a gallop, and took off again.
As much as Tristan didn’t want to enjoy this, she was. It had been almost three weeks since she’d ridden and her body was feeling it. When she was home she rode every day. There were few things she enjoyed as much as this. Bullet probably knew, and planned it so she wouldn’t be mad at him.
She wasn’t mad though, she was done. She had to end this thing with Bullet now, before the entire Flying R team started planning their wedding.
Bullet stopped and tied the horse’s reins on the post of a wood gazebo that sat close to a three-story, Colorado-style ranch house. The house had log siding and a tin roof. Each of the three levels had decks where baskets of colorful flowers hung from forest-green railings. From her vantage point, Tristan could see two stone fireplaces. It looked as though there was one on each side of the house.
“Who lives here?”
“This is Bill and Dottie’s place.”
“It’s beautiful.”
“Isn’t it?” Bullet walked into the gazebo and sat on one of the benches built into the structure. “They got married right here.”
Tristan ran her hand along the wood. “Romantic,” she murmured.
“They’re good people,” Bullet was looking in the direction of the house and waved. Tristan turned to see Dottie had come out on the mid-level deck and was watering the baskets of the flowers.
“She reminds me of my mother.” Tristan regretted the words as soon as she spoke them. She didn’t want to get to know Bullet any better than she already did, and she didn’t want him to know more about her either.
“Tell me about her.”
“Bullet, I shouldn’t have brought her up. And I’d rather not talk about her.” She walked into the gazebo and sat on the bench across from him.
“I don’t like you so far away.”
“I know,” she sighed. “But Bullet, I need to end this.”
“I know,” he sighed too. “I knew as soon as I heard your voice this mornin’.”
“I’m sorry, this just isn’t…what I want.”
“This isn’t, or I’m not?”
***
She started to answer, but stopped. Bullet waited. Whatever she was going to say next he knew was something he really wanted to hear. This was what it all came down to. Was it their relationship the way it was now, or was it him?
“I don’t know.”
Bullet let out the breath he’d been holding, but his shoulders slumped. Of everything she could’ve said, that was the worst. It told him nothing. He looked up at the house in time to see Bill walk up behind Dottie and startle her. Her laugh echoed across the lawn, and stopped when Bill covered her mouth in a kiss.
“That right there,” Bullet pointed toward the house, “is what I want.”
Tristan looked where he pointed and smiled. “I do too.”
“You just don’t want it with me.”
“I don’t know,” she said again.
“Why not?”
Bullet had a thousand things he wanted to say, to convince her she could have what Bill and Dottie had, with him. But he couldn’t bring himself to say a single one. Instead he waited for her answer. It took a long time to come.
“I made the decision a while ago, that I wouldn’t get involved with a bull rider. I may have let my resolve slip for a bit, but I know in my heart, this won’t work for me.”
“Do you hear yourself?”
“Bullet—”
“No, listen to me for a minute. You’re letting what a man does determine whether he’s the right man for you? What about making that decision based on who he is?”
“It’s the same thing. What he does determines who he is.”
“What if I quit?”
She hadn’t looked at him since she sat down, but she raised her eyes and looked into his. “You can’t.”
“Of course I can. There isn’t any reason I can’t. It isn’t how I earn my living, it’s a hobby. You said yourself that a man with a child had no business gettin’ on the back of a bull anyway.”
“I couldn’t let you quit Bullet. You’d end up resenting the hell out of me for it, and we’d both be miserable.”
“What if I want you more?”
“You don’t. You’re just saying it to convince me not to end things between us.”
“Okay, so what about this scenario? You meet a man, and you fall head over heels in love with him. You decide he’s the one for you. A couple months into it, he tells you he used to be a bull rider, and wants to go back to it. You’re tellin’ me you would end things with him because of it?”
“That isn’t a realistic scenario Bullet. If I decided he was ‘the one,” I would’ve already known he was a bull rider.”
“So you admit a bull rider could, in fact, be ‘the one’?”
“No, you’re twisting my words.” Tristan stood and walked out of the gazebo. “It doesn’t matter Bullet. Nothing you can say will change my mind.”
“What about this?” He spun her around and kissed her, hard. He felt her relax against him. She opened her mouth to his, and twined her arms around his neck.
How could she deny the feelings between them when her bo
dy responded to his this way?
***
Tristan’s traitorous body went against everything her brain was screaming at it. What was wrong with her that she couldn’t resist him? She leaned into the hard length of him, and deepened their kiss herself.
Bullet reached around and grabbed her bottom, hoisting her up so her legs wrapped around his waist. He turned, so her back rested against the post of the gazebo, and kissed her so hard it hurt.
“I can’t let you go,” he breathed. “Don’t make me let you go.”
Tristan unwrapped her legs from his waist, and sunk her boots into the soft ground. “Please don’t do this,” she begged. “I don’t want this.”
“I don’t believe you.” To prove his point, he kissed her again, as hard as he had before. There was no denying the passion between them, but what she wanted, what she needed, transcended passion. She needed someone she could believe in, trust in, rely on. Bullet had a life to live that was very different than the one she wanted.
“No!” she shouted and pushed away from him. Bullet lowered his arms and stepped back.
“I’m sorry Tristan.”
“I know. But this has to stop. It doesn’t change anything. Do you understand?”
He nodded his head and turned his back to her. She waited a minute to see if he’d say anything. When he didn’t, she got back on her horse, and rode away.
***
1972
Dottie had been in the hospital ten long days. She had four broken ribs and a collapsed lung, but that wasn’t as bad as what the doctors initially thought. The first thing they told him was they suspected her back was broken, and she may never walk again.
She could walk, but it was very painful for her to do so. There wasn’t a lot they could for broken ribs, they told him. They’d heal on their own.
Clancy couldn’t say what spooked the horse Dottie rode over to their house that morning, but he watched as she was thrown. He yelled for Jane to call the ambulance as he ran out of the house.
“You saved her life,” Bill told him. He knew Clancy felt terrible that there wasn’t more he could’ve done, but Dottie was alive, and that was all that mattered to Bill.
The nurse told him the doctors were planning to release Dottie from the hospital in the next couple days, but there was something important they wanted to discuss with him before they did.
Bill sat in the private waiting area the next afternoon as a doctor he hadn’t met before told him it was unlikely Dottie would be able to have children.
“Does she know?” Bill asked.
“We thought it best if we told you first.”
“Do you want me to tell her?”
The doctor told him it was up to him. They could tell her, with him present, or he could wait until she was home, and more comfortable.
“She broke some ribs, and her lung was hurt. Why would that have anything to do with her ability to have children?”
“Your wife was pregnant at the time of the accident Mr. Patterson.”
The timing was right. The first time he and Dottie made love was over spring break. He convinced her that in just a few weeks, they’d be married anyway. He told her he didn’t want to wait any longer.
If they had waited, if he hadn’t pushed, Dottie wouldn’t have been pregnant, and she’d still be able to have children.
Bill was devastated. He had no idea how to tell the most loving woman he’d ever known besides his own mama that she’d never be a mama herself. And it was all his fault.
Chapter 19
Bullet was riding like crap. He hadn’t covered the last seven bulls he’d gotten on. No one really said anything about it. Bulls prevailed over cowboys far more often than the other way around.
“You’ll get after ’em next time,” Bill would say at the end of a buck-off. But then when he’d find a place to practice, Bullet would be the one Bill was getting after.
Tonight they were in Colorado Springs, for the Pikes Peak or Bust Rodeo. It was the first time Bullet would get on a bull at what he considered his new “hometown rodeo.”
His parents, gram, sister, and most of the Flying R Rough Stock partners were here with their wives. In total they had four boxes reserved on the south side of the event center. Several of the Flying R team was competing including him, and Slade Weston, who was predicted to do well in the steer wrestling timed event. Unlike Bullet, he’d been in the money on several of his recent outs.
Regardless of whether he covered his bulls tonight, or the rest of the week, he’d be home for the next five days. He’d been on the road pretty near non-stop since April, so the break was welcome. And unusual at this time of the year, which was considered “Cowboy Christmas,” because of the number of rodeos taking place. Competitors could potentially earn thousands of dollars traveling from one rodeo to the next, virtually non-stop. The higher they climbed in earnings, the better chance they had of being in the top fifteen invited to compete in the NFR in December. Bullet had lost hope seven bulls ago. He wasn’t feelin’ it tonight either.
“You give up before the bull’s in the chute you might as well go home now.”
Bullet looked up to see Buck Bishop sitting on the back of the bucking chute. No one told him Buck would be here, but it may have been no one expected him to be.
“Yes, sir.”
“Where’s your head son?”
He shrugged his shoulders, but not because he didn’t know the answer. He shrugged his shoulders because he didn’t want anyone else to know.
“Brought you some good luck.” Buck tossed a brown-paper wrapped bundle at him, and walked away.
“What’s this?” Bullet shouted after him, but Buck didn’t answer. He jumped down, and went around the corner to open the package. Inside he found a pair of chaps. Buck gave him a new pair of chaps? What the hell? He didn’t get it, but when he turned them over, he saw the tag. McCullough Cowboy. Tristan. He ran back over to the rail and looked at all four boxes Flying R reserved. If she was here, she’d probably be sitting with Liv. He didn’t see either one of them.
“Lookin’ for somebody cowboy?”
Bullet turned and looked in the prettiest brown eyes he’d seen in weeks. “Sure am darlin’.”
“How many times do I have tell you I’m not your darlin’?”
“How many times do I have to tell you that you are?”
“I shouldn’t be back here.”
“I don’t give a shit.” Bullet picked her up and spun her in a circle, right before he covered her mouth with his. “God damn, I missed you girl.”
“Better watch your language around my daughter cowboy.” When the man came around the corner, Bullet set Tristan back on the ground. “Hello sir. I’m Bullet Simmons.
“Pleasure to meet you. I’m Hugh McCullough, and Tristan’s daddy.” The man shook Bullet’s hand, and winked at him.
“What are you doin’ here?” he asked Tristan, hoping her daddy wouldn’t overhear him.
“I missed you too, Bullet.” With that she put her arm through her daddy’s and the two walked in the direction of the Flying R boxes.
“Do me proud since you’re the first bull rider wearin’ McCullough Cowboy chaps,” she shouted over her shoulder.
Bullet had to bend over, put his hands on his knees and take a deep breath. Was he dreaming? He’d certainly dreamt about seeing Tristan again often enough. Buck Bishop? The chaps? Had to be a dream. Maybe he could keep it going and dream he covered his bull tonight too.
***
After the first few days, and her anger receded, Tristan started to miss Bullet. She thought about him when she showed her daddy the designs she did for Lost Cowboy. When he came in her studio and saw her studying them, he told her to use them for her new company, and launch a men’s line at the same time she launched the women’s.
He misunderstood the longing he saw on her face. It wasn’t the chaps she cared about, it was the cowboy she’d drawn them on.
When Lyric called and invited he
r to their gram’s ProRodeo Hall of Fame induction, Tristan said yes without giving herself time to think about it. When Liv called back and told her they were making a week of it by having all the partners meet at the opening night of the Pikes Peak rodeo, she agreed to that too.
She also asked if she could bring her daddy and granddad along, who, of course, were welcome. Tristan had talked about little other than the Flying R partners, and the cast of characters that surrounded the rough stockers. Her father said the next time she got together with them, he wanted to go along and meet this infamous group in person.
Little did he know he’d also be meeting Mark Cochran from the band bearing his name, Caleb Simmons from Satin, and Ben Rice from CB Rice. He hadn’t heard of the last band, but he knew the Rice boys were the main partners behind Flying R, along with the Pattersons.
“I used to listen to Cochran and Satin all the time.”
Tristan and her granddad both raised an eyebrow.
“What? I did. Every time I could I’d change the radio station from country music to rock. And then as soon as I’d see your granddad headin’ toward the barn, I’d change it back.”
Tristan was so happy to be back in Colorado. She’d spent the last couple months working twenty hour days in order to get the first pieces from her new collection ready for fall release. It helped keep her mind off the state and the people who lived in it that she missed so much.
It didn’t matter how hard she worked, Bullet was on her mind all the time. One minute she was sure she made the right decision ending things between them, the next she missed him so much, she’d pick up her cell phone to call him. Each time she talked herself out of it. She’d only feel worse if he didn’t answer. Then she’d wonder if he was with another woman. She wondered that anyway, but would’ve more if he didn’t answer his phone.
She watched him climb up the back of the chute. He was easy to find amidst the other cowboys. He was wearing the chaps she designed. He looked over, caught her watching, and tipped his hat in her direction.
“We both have cowboys ridin’ for us tonight,” Lyric slid into the seat next to Tristan left empty when her daddy went to get them another drink. “Good to see you here.”
And Then You Dare (Crested Butte Cowboys Series Book 5) Page 20