by Ali Vali
“You fucker,” Danny screamed. He was crying and trying to pull himself up, almost as if to not provide her with such an easy target. Just as quickly he dropped back down when she slashed him again with the belt.
She hit him until he begged her to stop. She quit when her arm got tired. By that time Danny looked like someone had painted his body with red, cruel stripes, some of which were bleeding. The sun was starting to set, and the light in the room was fading as quickly as Danny.
“Please, Cain, no more.” He could see the pool of blood on the floor under him, signaling he didn’t have much longer to live. “I’m sorry for what I did.”
“Granddad told me the last step was to slit the animal’s throat and let it bleed out,” she said, as if he hadn’t spoken.
“Anything but that, please. I don’t want to die.”
“It’s all right, Danny. I’m not going to do that to you.” She watched as he laughed as if in relief through his tears. “No, I’ve got something else in mind.” She picked up the knife and moved closer. “It’s only fitting after what you did to Marie and the others before her. All those innocent girls your depraved little mind left scarred to satisfy your sick needs. Those women deserve justice just as much as my sister.”
“Please, Cain. I’ll do whatever you want. Just don’t hurt me anymore.”
She was surprised he had that much energy to scream when the blade came to rest on his scrotum. Without hesitation she cut all the way down, and Danny watched what had been a source of pride drop on the floor like a discarded turkey neck.
The fact that he was screaming made it easy for Merrick to slip it into his mouth right before Cain slit his throat.
Hayden studied his mother’s face as if it were his first time to see it. “Are you going to answer my question truthfully, or do we just dance around the issue?”
“I don’t want to do this, Hayden.”
“Christ, just answer the question. Why did you leave? What’s hard about that?”
“I don’t want to change how you feel about Cain just because you’re curious. It’s hard because by telling you what she’s capable of, that’s what’s going to happen.”
“She’s at least willing to take that chance. Why can’t you?”
The question should have sent up a warning flare in Emma’s brain, but her anger at Cain clouded her judgment. Hayden’s reaction to the truth of her departure might be what she needed to win him over. “I don’t see her out here answering any questions.”
“She didn’t abandon me. You did. Now I want to know why.”
Emma glued her eyes to the ground and kept walking. Moving would make the tale easier to tell. “A little before I left, Cain and I hosted a party for your aunt Marie.”
“I remember. We’ve been over this part already.”
“The first time you asked me, I did tell you about the attempted rape Cain saved me from, but I changed the ending. I asked her not to hurt the guy too badly, but she went a lot further than that. She killed that guy for touching her property. He lost his life for something he almost did.”
Hayden stopped and felt shocked. Cain was harsh when warranted, but she rarely lost control and made such stupid mistakes. “She told you she killed him?”
“She lied to me to cover for herself, but I found out later what she had done.”
“Who was it?”
“What does it matter now, Hayden? It’s done, but it doesn’t change how she feels about you.”
“Just answer me, and let me worry about how I feel about my mother.”
“All right, but I found who it was the most disturbing since he was part of her family.”
The cold weather intensified as he felt the blood drain from his face. “Who was it?” asked Hayden through clenched teeth.
“Cain’s cousin, Danny Baxter.”
He stumbled when Emma said the name, certain he had heard wrong. “Impossible.” He felt her arms come around him, but he was too confused to care.
“It’s hard to believe, I know, and maybe now you’ll understand why I had to leave. My greatest regret, or should I say biggest mistake, was you, Hayden. I should’ve fought harder to keep you with me.”
“You’re lying, it couldn’t have been Danny.” He pushed Emma off him and looked like he was about to bolt.
“I’m telling you the truth, son.”
“You’re the one who begged her for Danny’s life?”
The warning bells finally went off in Emma’s head. Hayden couldn’t possibly remember the man who had come so close to violating her, and Cain had admitted she hadn’t answered Hayden’s questions. His question was totally out of context to what they were talking about. “How do you know Danny?”
“I asked you a question first.”
The anger, the straight body, the ice in his eyes and voice—it was all Cain she was looking at. What Emma didn’t realize was that she was standing on a cliff of her own making, and by encouraging her to tell Hayden the truth, Cain was about to push her off.
“I asked her, yes, but she didn’t listen to me.”
“She listened to you, all right. It’s your fault she’s dead, and I never want to see you again. I hate you!” Hayden screamed the last part so loudly the people in the yard heard a faint echo despite the distance. He ran back as fast as he could manage through the tears, his lungs burning from the cold air.
Cain was waiting for him, and he lunged into her arms. As upset as he was, he felt better when he realized that Cain wore her usual suit and cashmere long black coat instead of jeans and boots. He wouldn’t have to stay here any longer.
“Let it out, Hayden. It’s all right. I’ve got you.” Cain just held him until the tears subsided.
“Why, Mom?”
“It was a mistake.” She shook her head when he began to blame Emma. “My mistake, and mine alone. I have to live with the lesson that sometimes you have to choose the hard road, because in the end it’ll get you where you need to be that much quicker. I chose with my heart because it was easier and it cost me, so it’s my mistake, not hers.”
“I want to leave.”
“Go help the guys pack up. We’re going home.”
Cain sent him off knowing it wasn’t the end of their talk, but they would have to wait for a less public area to rehash it. Kyle had access to her business here, but her personal life and her relationship with her son were off limits. She started walking to intercept Emma, now that she was prepared to finish their talk.
“Why didn’t you tell him the truth?” Emma accused when she stopped in front of Cain, gasping for air.
“What truth is that?” She pointed her finger at Emma, almost poking her in the mouth. “The truth you spun for yourself to get you through the days?”
“You killed that bastard, and now all of a sudden I’m the bad guy here? I won’t let you get away with this, Cain. He’s my son and he deserves the truth.”
“Emma, you left because you believed what you thought was a minor infraction on Danny’s part sent me into a jealous rage and I killed him, right?”
Emma nodded.
“I beat the shit out of him, that part I’m not going to deny because to me it was no minor infraction, but Danny survived that night because you asked me and I gave in. I did, even though I knew he had done it before to other young women and no one was there to stop him. His punishment was the beating and banishment from my family. You know what that means, or at least you should.”
“Why continue the charade now? I know the truth.”
She kept going, not caring not if Emma believed her or not. “He went to work for Giovanni Bracato’s organization. I’m no saint, but I’m not an animal like Bracato. Danny waited and took his revenge on me by going after the most innocent of my family. He lured Marie away from her school and beat and raped her until she was barely alive. She was taking a fucking class she talked me into so she could keep up with Hayden better— God.” She stopped and turned her face to the wind in the hope it would d
ry her tears before they fell.
“But Agent Kyle said…” Emma fell to her knees and couldn’t finish as the shocking truth hit her.
“That answers my question as to who turned you. Be careful the company you keep, Emma, lest you drown in the shit they wallow in.”
To cement the truth in Emma’s mind, she threw her the picture the police had taken of Marie’s swollen face just hours before she died. It was for their investigation, they had said, to help show the jury the damage when they caught the guy. She had let them take it just to get rid of them. She wouldn’t need the police or a jury for Danny Baxter. Not caring to offer comfort, she left Emma there on the ground, staring at the picture.
“Cain, wait, please.” Emma looked once more at the picture and remembered the sweet person Marie had been. No wonder Hayden had gotten so upset when she had brought up his aunt’s name before. How could she have known what happened?
Cain was too far away to hear the plea to stay. It was one of the first times she had said all that out loud, in a way proving to herself Marie’s death was her fault. Had she buried Danny, like she had wanted to all those years before, Marie would be alive. She had failed her family by not killing him when she should have.
The group was ready to go when she got back to the farmhouse, waiting for her by the car.
“Ross, thank you so much for having us.” She pulled out a business card and handed it over. On it was a list of numbers, should Ross need to get in touch with her.
He put it in his coat pocket and nodded.
“I really had a good time, and I’m positive Hayden enjoyed his time with you too.”
“You sure you won’t stay another day?”
“Hayden wants to head home, and I don’t feel right about pushing the issue anymore. Stay in touch,” she said, holding her hand out.
The farmer shook it without any hesitation.
“Hayden, come over here and say good-bye to your grandfather.”
The boy stepped up and offered his hand as well, getting Ross to give him a warm smile. “Thank you, sir, for having me.”
“I hope it won’t be the last time you come up here to see us. Especially now that we’re business partners,” Ross joked and held Hayden’s hand with both of his.
“Maybe next time you can come and see us in New Orleans,” Hayden said.
Just as the large vehicle turned onto the road, Emma came running into the yard with the picture Cain had left. If everything Cain had said was true, she couldn’t possibly undo the damage she had caused to all their lives by just walking away.
God, why hadn’t she trusted Cain enough to just ask? She had just blindly sat and listened to Agent Kyle that day he had cornered her outside Hayden’s school. The one time she had forced her hand about the constant protection Cain insisted on was the one day the agent had been able to get so close.
Four Years Earlier in New Orleans, a Week after the Attempted Rape
“Stay put. I’m just taking Hayden to school. That’s hardly cause for a gang war.” Emma grabbed her purse and car keys, wanting to get out of the house for a while.
“Ma’am, Cain said—” Mook tried to stop her, but Emma wasn’t in the mood to listen.
“Cain’s your boss, Mook, I respect that, but she isn’t my keeper. The fact that I’m married to her should carry some weight.”
“Yes, ma’am. I meant no disrespect.”
Emma helped Hayden put on his sweater and smiled at her son’s guard. “Don’t worry, Mook. You can blame me if she gets mad. I just need some time for myself.”
“Please be careful.”
They made the short drive in relative silence, with just the radio tuned to a station Hayden had picked out. Emma kissed him good-bye at the front door of the school and waved to his teacher standing in the hall.
She never noticed where the man came from, but suddenly when she got back into her car, he stood there tapping on her window. The badge he held up made her put her head on the steering wheel for a moment. Could she just drive away and expect him to leave her alone? His insistent tapping made her look up again and press the button to lower the window. Kyle handed over his ID.
“Ms. Verde, can I have a moment of your time?”
“It’s Casey,” she informed him as she ran a finger over the leather of the wallet that held his credentials. It was a rich calf leather and extremely expensive, if she had to guess. Interesting taste the agent had, and she wondered if it was government issue.
“Excuse me?”
“My last name, it’s Casey. Would you like to see my driver’s license?”
Kyle laughed and accepted his wallet back. “I see you’ve learned a few things from Casey about how to deal with the authorities.”
“Agent Kyle, is it?”
He nodded at her question.
“If you want to talk to Cain, then I suggest you call her at the office. If you don’t have the number, I’ll be happy to give it to you.”
“I don’t want to talk to Casey. I want to talk to you. Would you like to have a cup of coffee? I promise it’ll be worth your while.”
“Do I have a choice?”
“You can drive away now, Ms. Casey, and I promise never to bother you again. But if you’d like to know the true nature of the monster you live with, I suggest you accept my offer.”
She followed him to the location he suggested and hoped no one from the house would come searching for her if this took too long. In less than an hour Kyle painted a picture of Cain she had never considered. She couldn’t conceive of the drugs Cain peddled and the number of prostitutes she owned. They went far beyond the image Cain had always painted of herself as a saintly bootlegger.
It was his last detailed account of Danny’s murder that finally made the tears roll down her cheeks. If what Kyle said was true, Cain had looked her in the eye as she washed his blood off her hands and lied. The last lie in a long list of them.
“I don’t believe you.”
“Ms. Casey, what could I possibly have to gain by deceiving you? I’m not here to try and talk you into testifying against Casey. I just think you deserve to know so you and your son have a fighting chance at a normal life, if that’s what you want.”
He sounded so sincere as he described the makeup of Cain’s business and the people she dealt with. However, when he asked what she would do when the ugliness Cain was involved in invaded their home again, but with more devastating results, she winced. What if next time the enemy went after Hayden? Could she live with that?
A few days later Emma had packed her bags and left. She sacrificed one child to save another, and when Hannah was born she had tried to make peace with her decision.
How strange it had been when they laid the baby in her arms and she had not seen Cain’s blue eyes smiling down on her in pure joy. Her friend Maddie and her father had been the only ones at the hospital to make sure mother and child had made it okay, but they were outside in the waiting room, not standing by her side as Cain would have been.
Four Years Earlier—Maternity Ward in Wisconsin
“One more big push, Emma, and we’re done,” the doctor coached as one of the nurses mopped her forehead.
It was a relief to finally be in labor after what seemed like more than nine months of misery. This time around she had no Cain to rub her tired back or to grimace in sympathy through the worst of the morning sickness. This time she saw only her mother’s disgusted face, which grew worse in proportion to her waistline.
She screamed as a powerful contraction hit her, and she half sat up and pushed. She felt the baby slip out and heard the lusty cry a few moments later. Then she sobbed from the happiness of hearing the baby roar and the doctor say, “It’s a girl.”
Hannah Marie Casey was placed in her arms just long enough for Emma to know any chance of forgetting Cain was futile. Her first clue was a full head of black hair matted down from the mess that still covered the baby. Later, when she breast-fed for the first time, the innocent blu
e eyes that opened served to complete the picture. She had given birth to another Casey, and she had to keep it from the one person who would have rejoiced in the knowledge of her existence. Billy Casey might have provided the means for her conception, but Hannah was Cain all over again. Not only in looks but in spirit.
“It’s just you and me, baby girl. Let me tell you about your family.” Emma started talking to Hannah about her rich heritage, just like Cain had done for Hayden after his birth.
Rousing herself from her reverie about Hannah’s birth, Emma murmured, “I’m sorry, Cain. I’m so sorry.” She watched the dust settle after the departing vehicle roared away. Kyle had lied, and she couldn’t begin to understand why.
Chapter Twenty
“You want to talk about it?” Cain sat in the backseat with Hayden in the Tahoe Mook had rented, and the others followed close behind.
Hayden watched the scenery they drove past in silence, much like he had done on the day they had arrived. Being strong now meant keeping his mouth shut. He knew that was what Cain would have done, so he shook his head. His questions could wait.
“It’s all right, Hayden. Go on and ask if you want to.”
“I can wait, Mom.”
“Maybe this time I don’t want to wait.”
“Why?”
To most, the question would have been too broad-based, but Cain understood it immediately. “Because Danny was a cruel son of a bitch, and I made the mistake of underestimating him. That’s the most succinct answer I can think of.”
“But why?”
Cain put her hands on her thighs and slid them down to her knees and sighed. “You have to understand how much I loved your mother. From the first day she came into my life, she set herself apart from every other woman I’d known. Why? Because she asked me, that’s why. Letting Danny go wasn’t going to impact the business or, more importantly, my family, so I let him go.”
Hayden was surprised Cain mentioned Emma and love in the same sentence after all the woman had put them through, but she was always full of surprises. “But it did.”