She might as well get it over with.
She opened the door and smelled lasagna that was baking in the oven. Bless Hannah for making comfort food! Her eyes skimmed the room, taking a quick inventory before gravitating down again. Hannah was loading the dishwasher. Melody was standing with her back toward her, chopping vegetables for a salad. Have they been working silently up until this point or has their conversation been cut short by my arrival? Noelle wondered briefly before deciding it didn’t really matter since she wasn’t in the mood to talk to either of them. Noelle hadn’t seen Jessie. Maybe she was in her bedroom studying.
Noelle made a beeline for her own bedroom after mumbling a terse hello in response to Hannah’s greeting. Melody had turned, but then had quickly turned back around. Throwing her backpack on her bed, she paced the room, telling herself that maybe it would be better to move out and find a new apartment with a new set of roommates so that she wouldn’t have to stare at Melody’s self-righteous face every morning or be pitied by Jessie and Hannah.
How could one day in her life disrupt everything that she knew and loved so much? Noelle wanted to throw something against the wall. She wanted to scream that life wasn’t fair. It wasn’t! She’d already been down this road before. Once was more than enough! Twice was simply humiliating. How could she cope with this trial and how would this affect her relationship with Melody? She knew for sure that nothing would ever be the same again.
She sank onto the bed and buried her face in her hands. “Heavenly Father, why is this happening to me?” She made it no further before the tears came, hot and blinding. Her heart hurt so much. Even her chest hurt. “What am I going to do? How can I go on?” She wondered if Heavenly Father even heard her prayer. Or cared.
She didn’t know how much time passed before the tears slowed and finally stopped. She sat there, staring at Melody’s perfectly made bed with the pink and white flowers on the ruffled border of her duvet. Noelle’s own hastily made bed sported a zigzagged pattern in retro colors on a gray background. Everything Melody said and did pointed out the difference between the elegant woman that Brenda Jensen had tried to raise her daughters to be and the gangly teenager that Noelle still felt like she was.
She could still hear her mother’s voice from when she was younger. Each Sunday as the Jensen family was entering the church building, Brenda’s mantra never varied. “Hold your head up, Noelle. Back straight. You’re a Jensen. Walk with grace.”
Funny. All these years later, Noelle still didn’t walk gracefully, even though that was the middle name her parents had bestowed on her.
Noelle’s eyes landed on Melody’s old-fashioned trinket box that sat on the dresser. Walking over to pick it up, she carefully lifted the lid of the hand-carved wooden box to gaze at the picture inside of two young girls twirling around in their tutus. As different as the girls were, they had always been good friends. Melody might have been a little too bossy at times, mothering Noelle or reminding her of proper etiquette, much to their mother’s delight and Noelle’s chagrin, yet Noelle had felt that their camaraderie was fairly typical for most sisters.
They had borrowed countless outfits from each other through the years. They’d amused each other with their antics, making up new endings to old fairy tales and, later on, giving makeovers and dating advice while recognizing their own inept attempts at attracting the guys. They came home from church dances and ate bowls of brownie fudge ice cream, laughing at themselves about how many feet they had stepped on. They had cheered each other up after realizing that one of them had talked to a cute guy for ten minutes, all the while not realizing that she had a smudge of lipstick on her teeth, or that the other sister’s hairstyle had fallen apart. Their older brothers, Ryan and Blake, had just rolled their eyes at their giggles.
Then, at nineteen, Noelle had become engaged to Mike, the missionary she’d been writing to, shortly after he came home. They’d planned the wedding, sent the invitations, the whole enchilada. Four days before the wedding—the day after she’d gone through the Mesa Temple to be endowed, in fact—Mike told Noelle that she was just too young and unrefined and that he really hadn’t given himself enough time to look around before choosing an eternal companion. Melody had let her cry on her shoulder. Noelle had packed her belongings and fled to Northern Arizona University to get away from Mike. Six months later, feeling that it was the right thing to do, Melody had left on her mission.
It had taken some time to get back into the dating scene. Noelle had avoided any serious relationships until Chase Dunlop came along last year, sweeping her off her feet with his classic good looks and gentlemanly ways. Noelle remembered writing to Melody about the really great guy she’d met. In reply, Melody had congratulated her for moving forward and admonished her to keep reading her scriptures and stay close to the Lord. Having heard that bit of advice more times than she could count through the years, Noelle didn’t give it more than a passing thought.
Noelle was lost in her musings when a quiet knock on the door sounded. She set the jewelry box down just as Melody opened the door wordlessly and let herself in, settling on the bed across from Noelle. The two sisters looked squarely at each other for a full minute, each of them assessing the other’s expression. Melody looked worried, her lip between her teeth, her shoulders slumped. “Are you all right?” she asked Noelle.
“I’ll get through it,” she stated through gritted teeth.
Melody closed her eyes briefly while a shuddering breath escaped. Leaning forward, she started to speak. “Noelle, I’m sorry. I feel really badly about what has happened, and it was never my intention to—”
“If it’s all the same to you, Melody, I don’t want to talk about it.”
“But, Noelle, I want to apologize. I love you and—”
“Please, Melody. I can’t handle all that emotional garbage right now. You said you’re sorry and that’s supposed to make everything okay. It might be for you, but for me, it’s going to take a little longer to forgive you and Chase. Anyway, I said that I don’t want to talk about it right now, so will you please—just—drop—it?”
Melody flinched as each word came out harshly. Well, Noelle thought angrily, I can’t help it. She wasn’t about to open herself up for more grief at the moment. She’d already shed a gallon of tears. She knew her eyes were red and puffy, her voice hoarse. Maybe a hot shower would help. She gathered her bathrobe and opened the bedroom door.
“This is hurting me as much as it is hurting you,” Melody called emotionally as Noelle headed down the hallway to the bathroom. When Noelle ignored her, she added, “Hannah will save you some dinner.”
She closed the door behind her with a click.
The warm spray of the water felt good on her taut muscles. Twenty minutes later, Noelle emerged feeling somewhat better. After pulling on a T-shirt and a pair of sweats and hoping that none of their friends of the male variety had decided to stop by, she made her way to the kitchen and pulled the leftovers from the refrigerator. Hannah and Jessie were watching a movie in the living room. Noelle put her plate of lasagna in the microwave to reheat. “Where’s Melody?” she asked offhandedly.
Jessie shrugged. “She said that she needed to go talk to someone. She didn’t say to whom.”
Noelle could guess. The idea of eating had lost its appeal. Still, she hadn’t eaten all day and her headache was worsening. Turning to find a utensil for the salad, she almost bumped into Hannah and Jessie. “Argh!” she blurted, stepping back. “Warn me the next time you come up behind me like that, will you?”
She expected a quick comeback from Hannah but got nothing. The redhead and the brunette looked at one another and back to Noelle, a telltale sign. “You knew, didn’t you?” Noelle realized.
“Sit down, and eat while we explain,” Jessie started. Noelle quickly blessed the food then waited while Jessie and Hannah took seats at the small, round table. “I wasn’t sure if I was seeing things, but Melody was talking about Chase an awful lot, which would have
been fine if she’d been saying what a great guy he was for you and that the two of you made a cute couple or something like that. But it was more like, ‘Did you know that Chase paid for most of his mission on his own?’ or ‘Chase was able to learn some French while serving in Italy. I asked him if he would teach me some Italian.’ ”
Hannah inserted, “Or another time when she said, ‘Chase has decided to change his major to accounting. He’s applied to BYU.’ ”
Noelle felt the blood drain from her face. So he’d gone through with it, after all. Chase had mentioned something about wanting to change his major from engineering to accounting. The sudden turnaround had baffled Noelle and they had argued about it. Her head felt like it was spinning.
Jessie continued, “When we first realized that it went deeper than friendship, we didn’t know whether to approach Melody or Chase or you.”
“We still didn’t know Melody very well,” Hannah added, “and it was a really awkward situation.”
“Which has just been compounded by two disloyal roommates,” Noelle interrupted bitterly. Then, seeing the injured expressions come to their faces, she immediately regretted it. “I’m sorry. That wasn’t called for, but I wish you had told me.”
“You’re hurting. We know. We’re sorry too.” Hannah enfolded Noelle in a hug. “We’ve been miserable all week.”
“A week?” Noelle screeched. “You’ve known for that long?”
“Well,” she hesitated, “maybe a week and a half. Jessie asked me if I had noticed Melody’s strange behavior lately. I guess I hadn’t been paying much attention to her while I was working on homework and stuff.”
“Well,” Jessie cut in, “it was pretty obvious that something was up when Melody would answer her phone and suddenly lower her voice before disappearing into her room. After I asked Hannah what she thought about it, we decided that maybe she’d met somebody and wasn’t ready to tell us about him until she was sure how she felt about him.”
Hannah started gathering her long tresses into a ponytail, clasping it with her hands before letting it fall to her waist. Hannah was a fidget. Sometimes, like now, her nervous tendencies drove Noelle crazy. “Then,” Jessie went on, “at the fireside last Sunday, when we were sitting together watching the broadcast from Salt Lake, Chase was sitting between the two of you. I looked over to whisper something to Melody when I saw Chase give her a wink.” She placed her hand on her chest. “At first, I thought he was winking at me and I thought it was weird. But then, Melody patted his knee. I was so shocked that I couldn’t even remember what I was going to tell her.”
Noelle couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “Why didn’t I see that?” she demanded.
“It happened so fast that I thought I imagined it. You were returning Jill’s text, remember?”
Noelle cringed, recalling the exasperated look Chase shot her way when she’d completed the text. Okay, so maybe that hadn’t been the best time to answer her friend’s question about their homework assignment, but Noelle had thought she was being helpful. “Wow!” Noelle felt utterly disgusted. “Right under my nose. How could I have been so stupid?”
Jessie said, “Noelle, don’t be too hard on yourself. I think we’ve all mishandled this situation. We should have confronted Melody and Chase once we knew for sure. I’ll admit that I was a coward. I kept hoping that Melody would tell you herself.”
“Well, she and Chase finally did.” That didn’t remove the sting of their betrayal, however.
“I’m just so, so sorry, Noelle. What can we do to help you feel better?” Hannah asked.
Noelle sighed deeply. “I don’t know. It’s going to be hard, that’s for sure.” Her voice cracked even as she said it. She couldn’t be crying again, could she?
Her sorrow was reflected on her roommates’ faces. Jessie offered, “Maybe I should trade bedrooms with you. At least you’d have a little space.”
Noelle nodded. “Until I find somewhere else to live.”
Hannah’s eyes widened. “You want to move out?”
“Yeah.”
Hannah and Jessie shared a look of disbelief. “Please don’t,” Jessie pleaded. “We love you like a sister. And you need us right now.”
“More than I need my own sister,” Noelle responded sarcastically. “How ironic.”
Noelle didn’t sleep well that night. She had switched bedrooms with Jessie thinking that it would help to be away from her sister. But her mind kept replaying the conversations she’d had lately with Melody or Chase to try to glean any more clues that she should have noticed. She arose feeling exhausted but happy that she had a lighter load of classes today. And Melody would be out of her hair for the next twenty-four hours. She was determined to get through the day with no more tears.
Noelle made it through her classes that morning with a minimum of explanations. After all, this was Friday and she had no institute classes. She managed a late shift at work and then fell asleep that night as soon as her head hit the pillow.
Saturday was another work day for Noelle. She came home late that afternoon to find her laundry already washed and folded. So she and Chase were back, were they? Had she done Noelle’s laundry out of a sense of guilt or as a peace offering? Or maybe Melody just figured I could use another reminder of our mother’s lessons, she thought waspishly, reaching for a shirt and refolding it the way she liked.
Noelle studied for a bit, pretending not to notice when Melody entered the apartment. Hannah asked her how the visit to Gilbert had gone and Melody responded that it had gone well enough, holding her hand out for Hannah to see the engagement ring. From the corner of her eye, Noelle noticed Hannah smiling and nodding as Melody described the setting. “Jessie, come look at this rock,” she called. Not a minute later, Jessie came into the room to see what the excitement was about.
“That’s beautiful, Melody.” While they admired the ring, Noelle jumped off the couch and grabbed her car keys. She had to get out of there. Noelle stopped when Melody called, “Noelle?”
She glanced at Melody, steeling her heart against her sister’s forlorn expression. “What?” she ground out.
An awkward pause followed. Finally, Melody spoke again. “Mom and Dad want you to call them. They’re worried about you.”
“Maybe later. I’m going to do some grocery shopping.” But the plaintive look on Melody’s face was etched on her memory for the rest of that day.
Sunday morning, Noelle sat at the table pouring her cereal and wondering what she was going to do about her church meetings. The singles wards on NAU campus were organized alphabetically according to last name. Hannah and Jessie were in a different ward and Noelle and Chase always sat with Melody during sacrament meeting even though Chase was in a different ward. Noelle felt sure that wouldn’t be the case today.
She felt a stab of envy. Noelle had tried so hard to introduce her sister to other college students in her ward. She’d tried to help Melody make friends and feel included. She’d even felt encouraged when she’d seen a cute guy approach Melody at a recent dance. And all this time, Melody had hidden her growing feelings for Chase.
Noelle took a deep breath and forced the thought from her mind while she silently blessed her food. Once again, she asked the Lord to help her overcome the un-Christlike feelings she was battling and love her sister no matter what. Even though she felt badly about the rift between them, she wasn’t sure what to do about it.
A door opened from down the hallway. A few seconds later, Melody entered the kitchen, wearing a navy blue dress and carrying her scriptures. “Hello,” she said hesitantly.
“Hi,” Noelle echoed woodenly and began munching on her cereal.
Melody proceeded to spread cream cheese on a bagel and then took a seat beside Noelle at the table. Trying to avoid gawking at the sparkling diamond solitaire gracing Melody’s hand, Noelle finished her cereal in record time and stood to put her bowl in the sink. She’d almost made her escape when Melody spoke from behind. “How long are you goin
g to give me the silent treatment?”
“I thought the ‘silent treatment’ was something that only husbands and wives do,” Noelle said drily.
“Exactly.” Melody nodded matter-of-factly. “We’re sisters, Noelle. Nothing is ever going to change that. I’m really sorry about this. Chase and I didn’t intentionally set out to betray your trust. I knew I was enjoying being in his company a little too much, but I couldn’t seem to stop myself. He’s a fantastic guy. And you’re a wonderful person, but it seemed to me that your relationship was failing.”
Noelle gasped. “What makes you say that?”
Melody’s brows furrowed. “Little things, mostly. Such as the way he asked you what you thought of the lesson last Sunday. I could tell he was hoping you would give him more than a simple Sunday School answer, but instead you brushed it off as if his thoughts on the matter were of no consequence to you. When I saw how disappointed he was, I rushed in to fill the awkward gap. I was trying to keep Chase’s interest in you going by volleying the conversation back to you, but you kept deflecting it with feigned cluelessness.”
Noelle’s cheeks warmed. Little did Melody know that her “cluelessness” had been real. “That’s because I’m not able to quote a scripture on demand or think of one to fit the situation at hand like you can, sis. How can I even be sure that you weren’t intervening on your behalf? Now that you’re engaged to him, surely you can admit that you felt attracted to him. And you can’t tell me that you didn’t act on that attraction.”
Melody’s silence confirmed Noelle’s suspicion. “I know I didn’t make the best choice by not being up-front with you about my feelings for Chase. But they were so intense, I didn’t even know what to think. I kept telling myself that it was okay to make a new friend. Because that’s what he became to me. A friend.”
“Friends don’t sneak around behind someone else’s back, Melody.”
Pierced by Love Page 3