There is always the rare sociopath who protests his guilt, less rare these days, but the rest of us know we’ve lost our way and long for someone or something to intervene. Needless to say, when my holding cell door closed, I cried in a way I had never cried before and fell into a deep sleep.
When I awoke, I found myself alone in silence.
There was one thing I realized with clarity: I wanted my chance at redemption, but my crime was beyond the pale and would land me in prison for the rest of my life.
So, it really was of no consequence what I wanted, and I assumed they would come for me in their own time so I turned on the television. The different channels were blitzing the airwaves with talking heads, with some calling the latest attack a wake-up call for the need to improve our cybersecurity capabilities and others calling for tougher measures against China.
To my surprise, though, there were no hints or suggestions of an inside job.
I dreaded the thought of seeing my name and photograph plastered on the screen for the world to see, knowing that Beth and the boys would see it as well.
Few people really knew what happened, and those who did had a vested interest in keeping it secret. The President’s response was shown on all the channels.
“Good evening,” he began with a somber tone. “Earlier today, the government of China launched an unprecedented cyberattack on the Pentagon. Our most critical command-and-control systems are still up and running, but the damage was extensive. In response to this attack, I have put our military forces on high alert and am working with members of Congress to release emergency funding to repair the damage from this unprecedented attack.
“As your commander in chief, I want you to know I have advised the government of China that these attacks will not go unanswered and that our response will be swift, proportional, and at a time of our choosing. God bless you, and may God bless the United States of America.”
My first visitors were Brett and Nguyen.
I was embarrassed to look them in the eye, but they sat on the bed opposite me without any sign of judgment or condemnation. I leaned back against the wall and wiped my tears.
“When did you figure it out?”
Nguyen took the lead because it was a question with legal implications. The CIA never wanted to dirty its hands with criminal investigations. “We knew for sure what you had done after you brought the laptop to the J6 the other night. The files that were downloaded included a security code indicating that the security patches were downloaded twice.”
I nodded, impressed. I should have thought of that.
“Could you tell us what happened?” Brett asked.
“Look, guys,” I said, “I’d like to face a court martial and be done with this. What difference does it make? All the discussion in the world won’t change a thing.”
Nguyen spoke again.
“It’s not that simple, unfortunately. As part of our investigation, we need to hear from you exactly what you did. We need to understand the full extent of the damage.”
Fair enough. I inhaled deeply. “As you recall, the meeting in which I pitched Jade Envy appeared to go well.” They nodded in agreement. “However, during the next meeting, he handed me feed material and asked me to work for him.”
“Why would he think you would work for him?” Brett asked.
I exhaled. “Because they had the mother lode on me,” I said. “He knew about an affair I had in Bangkok, and threatened to tell Beth. He also knew I’d pressured Tom to sleep with a dancer, and the poor guy committed suicide.” They were kind enough to give me a moment to cry, struggling to keep it under control. I grabbed the pillow to wipe my eyes.
“That poor woman will have to raise her kids alone because of me,” I said finally, struggling.
“Anything else?” Nguyen asked, as if what I had said so far wasn’t sufficient.
“Oh, it gets better,” I said. At this point, I wanted it all off my chest, to confess my crimes. “You remember this Anna Stuart woman I told you about?” They nodded. “Well, it turns out she’s working for Jade Envy—I have a video of them meeting in a park—but she also has a cross-dressing Asian boyfriend named Judy who drugged me making a sex video.”
I got a hold of myself and took another deep breath.
“So, with my marriage, career, and professional reputation on the line, I agreed to give him the latest security patches, with the stupid idea that I could blame Anna and we could shut down the computer system during the next attack to prevent any damage.”
Brett and Nguyen looked at each other, nodded, and turned to me.
“We can confirm that Anna is working for the Chinese,” Nguyen said.
“Did your surveillance team catch them meeting?” I asked, hopeful, although this detail wouldn’t help me at this point. Anna getting caught was supposed to be my big break, but now we would both rot in a prison.
“Not exactly,” Brett said. “We know that Anna is working for the Chinese because…she’s really working for us. She’s a double agent.”
What?
My heart leaped. I could hear my own heartbeat in my ears.
I could hardly breathe as I sat up, my heart pounding so hard that it hurt.
“What?”
“Chinese intelligence approached her during her semester in China and pitched her after she returned,” Nguyen said.
“She reported the pitch to us,” Brett said. “We opted to run her as a double agent, so we delayed her security clearance to keep her interesting to the Chinese but prevent her from gaining access to the most sensitive information.”
I reflected. “My friend said her security clearance had an administrative hold, but he didn’t understand why.”
“When we learned that Jade Envy was arriving here,” Nguyen said, “Anna was told that her job was to target you.”
I struggled to stay calm as I processed these revelations, unsure whether to jump for joy or strangle them. “So,” I said, shaking my head in disbelief, “if I understand you correctly, you were running Anna as a double agent, which means she told you everything that was happening to me?”
They looked at each other and nodded hesitantly—guilty as charged.
“I guess this is the part where I ask—why?” I stood and paced. “I mean, you knew all this terrible shit was happening to me and you did nothing to stop it?”
“Unless this terrible shit was precisely what we wanted to happen,” Brett said with a glimmer in his eye. I knew that look, so it merited my full attention.
“Hold on, OK, so you wanted Anna to approach me, knowing about the plan to make the video, knowing about the plan to gain access to the security patches…” And just like that, a jolt of electricity shot up my spine. “No fucking way!” I jumped on the bed and pounded the wall. “No fucking way!”
I turned to see Brett and Nguyen smiling.
“You son of a bitch! You knew they would subject me to a polygraph after receiving the security patches, and you knew I could get past the polygraph because I was telling the truth.” I sat on the bed and shook my head in disbelief. “Did I give them a fucking Trojan horse?”
With a wink and a shot from the finger pistol, Brett transformed into the greatest artist the world of intelligence had ever known, a veritable god among mortals.
I took a deep breath to calm myself. “I want to kill you two bastards, but holy shit!”
I realized that my radical shift from suicidal depression to ecstatic euphoria might seem odd, but I couldn’t help but think that my crimes would be forgiven for my having been manipulated in such a diabolical way.
“We’re so sorry to have put you through this,” Brett said.
“Are you kidding? I would have done the same,” I said and hugged both of them. “I don’t think I could have devised something so brilliant—holy shit!” I plopped myself on the bed and exhaled. “I assume Lewis knows?” I asked.
Brett nodded. “He’s waiting to talk to you.”
I pulled myse
lf back to reality, ready to face judgment. I paced in the cell, still fuming yet inexplicably excited about being part of such a brilliant operation—a work of art. When I heard steps on the concrete floor, I sat and took a deep breath to get in the right state of mind.
Lieutenant General Lewis leaned against the cell door and looked at me.
“I heard the good news about the operation,” I said. “I assume they briefed you before it began?”
“I’m not sure why you consider betraying your country good news,” he said, “but yes, I was briefed on the operation. I didn’t object to the proposal, but I said it would never work. I said you would never do such a thing.”
I nodded, humiliated. “I offer no justification for what I did, General, and ask only that the full context of the operation be taken into consideration.”
He nodded with professional objectivity.
“I spoke with lawyers at the Department of Defense and FBI. Because the operation was technically entrapment—you wouldn’t have given the computer files to the Chinese if we hadn’t steered you in that direction—they agreed to not pursue criminal charges and will allow you to retire with an honorable discharge, with one condition,” he answered.
I needed a moment to dry my tears. It suddenly occurred to me that I might avoid prison and get my life back. He was kind enough to wait until I was ready to listen and to take it in.
“In exchange for your silence, we need you to pass one more Trojan horse to Jade Envy. I’m not a technical guy, but apparently, we need both for the program to work.”
“Of course,” I said, ready to do double my effort to receive half the forgiveness.
“We agreed that the best cover story for your sudden retirement was your decision to take a civilian teaching position at West Point,” he said and paused to let it sink in. “I made a few calls. Your sexual indiscretions aren’t part of the legal equation,” he added with disappointment, “but you’ll have to decide what to tell Beth.”
“I know there’s nothing I can do to win or deserve your respect again, General, but I’m truly sorry.”
He nodded—not quite there.
“There’s one last issue we should discuss,” he added with a positive tone. “When Jade Envy got reassigned to Washington, we green-lighted this operation,” he said and paused, waiting for me to nod. “To give the operation the best chance of success, we wanted the Chinese to stay focused on you, and to make sure that your life was shaken up in a dramatic way.”
“I don’t understand, General.” I understood that moving me to the dark side was essential to the plan, but it wasn’t clear where he was going with this train of thought.
He looked at the floor and gestured down the hall. A few seconds later, a steel door slid open and slammed shut, footsteps echoing on the cement floor. My heart raced with each step, having no idea what to expect. I looked up to see Captain Tom Howard looking down at me with an apologetic smile. The artistry of this operation continued to take my breath away.
I stood and gave him the biggest bear hug I could manage as the tears flowed yet again.
“I’m so sorry, brother.”
TWENTY-SEVEN
I didn’t understand all the legal minutiae, but some powerful players pulled some strings behind the scenes, under the banner of “national security,” so that my case would never see the light of day. If Jade Envy were to discover that I had been detained and released before the next meeting, he would reject the security patches, the first Trojan horse wouldn’t work, and the operation would fail. We needed the Chinese to have both Trojan horses for the program to work.
When the two virus-free files were installed on the Chinese computer systems, they would combine to open a back door to their secure computer network, or so I was told. Only a handful of people knew the full scope of this operation, and the only reason I was in a holding cell was to protect me from myself—such an operation might drive someone to suicide—or to turn the case into a criminal investigation if I refused to cooperate.
After my stint in the unmarked facility, which included one night on a stiff mattress, I had a new appreciation for how fragile life was.
I was entrapped in a diabolical plot and wouldn’t have done what I did left to my own devices, but I realized what I was capable of and how my life could have imploded if I had taken a few wrong turns along the way—there but for the grace of God go I.
People talk about the seven stages of grief and other coping mechanisms, but I can say with all sincerity that I really believed at one point while alone in the holding cell that I would spend the rest of my life in prison, which was a sentence in itself. I imagined how I would adjust to life in prison, counting the days and working the legal system for an early release for good behavior.
I also imagined how my family and friends would be ashamed of me. Although I had a newfound sympathy for the unfortunate individuals in prison, it also reaffirmed the importance of having a culture with values that strove to keep people on the narrow path.
I felt like a common criminal when the security guard handed me my personal items (wallet, watch, wedding ring, etc.) during my discharge, and I waited for the security door to buzz and click. Although fewer than twenty-four hours had passed, I felt as though I had regained my freedom after a decade behind bars and squinted in the sunlight with a smile and a wave when I saw Beth waiting for me in her car.
She agreed to drive down, no questions asked, when Lewis called her, which was why I loved her so much. Tom and I had talked the night before about getting our wives together for the first time since Bangkok, to discuss what had happened, but we decided it would be best to give them the edited version. We wanted to get ahead of the story and stay married.
When I got in the car, I gave her a kiss and leaned back.
“I need a drink and a woman,” I said with a smile and kissed her again.
“You better have a good explanation for this,” she said with a reluctant smile of her own as we drove away. Despite our love and trust, I could only imagine the mental machinations she must have endured during the drive.
The Howards were waiting for us at a nearby coffee shop, where we reminisced about the good old days in Bangkok and avoided the big story for longer than Beth could handle.
I took the lead.
“Have you read the book The Spy Who Came in from the Cold?” I asked, knowing that Beth and Donna hadn’t. “The basic idea was that an Intelligence Officer was made to look disgruntled and vulnerable so that a foreign intelligence service would see him as a recruitment target—a dangle, if you will.”
“How did they make you look vulnerable?” Beth asked, intrigued by Donna’s inability to contain her guilty knowledge.
“Oh, can I?” Donna asked, waving her hand.
I gestured to her.
She wasn’t as rank-conscious as the other wives, which was charming, to a point.
“They made it look as though Lance pressured Tom to have sex with a dancer in Bangkok, and then made it look as if Tom committed suicide in response.”
“Oh my God,” Beth said. “Is she serious?”
“Lance was amazing,” Donna said, squeezed Tom’s hand, and got lost in his eyes before kissing him. “He was nervous and almost cried.” She turned to us.
“But it wasn’t true,” Beth said. “I mean, the dancer part.”
“All made up,” Tom said to nip it in the bud and kissed Donna on the lips.
She was clearly hypnotized by his charm.
Jade Envy told me Tom had agreed to work for them because they had video of him with the dancer, but what the Chinese didn’t know was that Tom reported the pitch and staged his suicide to shift their attention from him to my access to the Pentagon security patches. The most important part for now was to prevent the Chinese from learning about the plan, at least until after I had passed the second Trojan horse and our cyberattack was complete.
I continued, “Cut to the chase, the bad guys took the bait and we passed t
hem the lethal information.” I knew Beth wasn’t buying the whole story, but Donna seemed sold on it.
“In light of recent events,” Beth said, “is it safe to say China was involved?”
Tom and I looked at each other. “It’s best if we leave it at that,” I said with a subtle gesture as Donna responded to a text message on her phone and laughed.
Beth should have known better than to ask such a question in front of Donna.
With our story backstopped at the highest levels of the U.S. government, Tom and I had given the wives enough information to contain the story and bury our own misdeeds. Tom seemed to be in the clear, but I knew Beth was just being a good wife, for now.
Donna and Tom made plans to visit family for a few days to stay below the radar.
Beth and I stayed behind. She was ready for more details.
“Lieutenant General Lewis said he’d reached out to someone at West Point about a teaching position,” I said.
She nodded in a supportive way. “He did, and the good news is that they’re eager to have you—as a civilian? Did someone retire and not tell me?”
I nodded and took a deep breath—let the lies continue. “I wasn’t on the brigadier general promotion list, so I decided it would be better to work as a civilian. I’ll collect my salary and pension.” I shrugged. “I made the decision only after confirming that I could teach as a civilian.”
Her face showed doubt. “I’m just surprised that you didn’t talk to me first, but we’re so happy to have you back,” she said and kissed me on the lips. “I know you can’t tell me all the sordid details, but did this operation really hinge on you feeling guilty for Tom killing himself? It seems to me like it would have to be something more serious to motivate someone like you to betray his country.”
I swirled my coffee and nodded—she’s so smart. “We had a layered approach, with more serious scenarios if necessary, but this one worked. I will tell you that Brett was involved and it was a work of art—the best operation of my career.” Beth respected the “need to know” rule of intelligence, but I knew she’d want a fuller explanation later. I checked my watch with an apologetic expression. “I have a meeting tonight for the operation, and I’ve a lot of paperwork to finish tomorrow for the retirement.”
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