by Holly Jacobs
“I don’t plan to need something to measure against anytime soon...or forever, to be honest. I’m a window-shopper when it comes to love,” Lily said primly. “I like to look, but I’m not planning on buying.”
“Oh, come on,” Mattie insisted. There was the same kind of meant-for-a-happily-ever-after aura that glowed around both her friends. “You and Sophie are the kind of women who were meant for that kind of romantic love.”
“No,” Lily argued. “I’m like an art critic. I know it when I see it, but that doesn’t mean I can reproduce it. When I was in Buffalo, I dated a lot. Simple, casual relationships.”
“Art critic and window-shopper?” Mattie asked.
“That about sums it up,” Lily assured her.
“I haven’t seen you go out with anyone since you came to Valley Ridge.”
“What are we talking about?” Sophie asked as she joined them.
“Lily’s dating life...or lack thereof,” Mattie answered.
“That’s sort of the pot calling the kettle black,” Lily groused.
“Why don’t we take this up to the house? I set out some iced tea on the back deck.”
In typical Sophie fashion, iced tea wasn’t only iced tea—it was also a plate of home-baked cookies and brownies, as well.
“So, catch me up on Lily’s dating life,” Sophie prompted as she filled their glasses.
“That’s easy...I don’t have one,” Lily said. “Don’t get me wrong, I like dating. I like having someone to see a movie with, or try out a new winery. And I’ve been asked out, but here’s the thing—Valley Ridge is not Buffalo. It’s hard to date someone casually here. The minute your name is linked to someone else’s, you’re practically married. And that’s not what I want, so I’m stepping back from dating for a while. It really wasn’t hard. When I first came to town, I was busy with...”
“You can say her name. Bridget. You were busy taking care of Bridget. It doesn’t hurt to talk about her as much as it did. I find myself able to remember some of the happier moments,” Mattie told them.
“Like?” Sophie asked.
“Zoe’s wanting a cell phone. Every time she starts telling me how mean I am to make her work for it, and how deprived she is by not having it, I can’t help but remember when Bridget and I were sure we’d never be truly happy if we didn’t get Cabbage Patch dolls. I don’t even know how old we were, but we were younger than Zoe, yet definitely as sure that we needed those dolls. Not just any dolls, but redheaded ones. I have no idea why the red hair part was so important, but it was. It was the height of the craze, and it was next to impossible to get ahold of one. My mom waited at a couple stores that were supposed to be getting them in, but each time, they were sold out before she got to them.”
“So you never got your doll?” Lily asked.
“Actually, we did. Dad knew a man who worked at a department store, and when an order arrived, he grabbed two redheaded dolls. Mine was Spring Alyce, and Bridget’s was Karleen Elinore. And don’t even ask me why I remember their names.”
“You remember because they were important to you,” Sophie said.
“Yes. But our parents wouldn’t simply give them to us. We could either wait for Christmas, or have them sooner by earning them. We chose the latter. Though, actually, I’m sure my Mom had to redo any number of the jobs I did. But I worked for that doll, and I treasured it.” Spring was still upstairs in her room. And there was a good chance that Bridget’s Karleen was in the attic. Maybe the girls would like to have them? Oh, Zoe was probably too old. But Mattie could offer her one, and if she didn’t want it, she could give them both to Abbey.
“So, about you two dating? I’m sure Colton has some friends—”
In unison, Lily and Mattie offered a resounding “No.”
Mattie would rather talk about Bridget or Cabbage Patch dolls than dating. “I’m not looking. I’ve got all I can handle with the kids and work.”
“And I’ve got Hank and work,” Lily assured her.
“When you find the right person, you’ll find a way, no matter how many other things are on your plate.”
“Oh, man, she’s got it bad,” Mattie said. “I mean, I know you’re marrying Colton, but you’re absolutely besotted.”
“Besotted?” Sophie asked with a laugh.
“Yes!” Mattie declared. “You, Sophie Johnston, are besotted. It’s a good word.”
“One that only a romance reader would use,” Sophie teased.
“I’m sure they use the word in other ways,” Mattie hedged.
Lily joined in. “I haven’t ever heard the word used in conversation, only in novels.”
“Which would mean you read them, too,” Mattie pointed out. “Show of hands...how many people here read romance?”
All three of them raised their hands. Lily’s eyes crinkled as she laughed. “Like I said, I’m a window-shopper. I love reading romance, but that doesn’t mean I’m buying.”
“I thought you were an art critic?” Sophie joked.
“Oh, shush. You’re besotted. You don’t get to tease,” Lily said.
“Maybe when all the wedding hoopla settles down, we could start a book club,” Sophie suggested.
Mattie would never have used the word hoopla to describe Sophie’s wedding for fear of insulting her friend. Her thoughts must have been visible in her expression, or else Sophie was a mind reader, because she said, “It is hoopla. I told Colton I’d have been just as pleased going over to the justice of the peace.”
Mattie and Lily both chortled. “You are a woman who was destined for hoopla,” Mattie told her friend.
“Because you’re besotted,” Lily chimed in.
“You two are nuts.” Sophie tried to frown, but she couldn’t maintain a stern expression and started to giggle, which set Lily and Mattie to giggling, as well.
“We’re hopelessly crazy,” Sophie finally decreed. “And I’m going to talk to Maeve at the library. Maybe we could have the book club meetings there after hours. Or before.”
“The hours are limited due to funding,” Mattie said, “we probably won’t have much choice about when the space is available.”
“What if we made the book club a mini fundraiser?” Lily suggested. “We could charge a dollar for each meeting you attend.”
“And we could all buy our books and donate them when we’re done,” Sophie added.
“I tried a book club once.” Mattie tried to think which city she’d been in, but she couldn’t manage it. She couldn’t recall the name of one person who’d attended the club, but she did remember the books. “It was all moody, dark stories. I didn’t even make it through the first book.”
“No, this is a romance book club. That way, we’re guaranteed a happily-ever-after. We all know bad things happen to everyone,” Sophie said softly. There was a small hitch in her voice as she whispered so softly Mattie could hardly hear it, “Tragedies. But life goes on, and good things happen, too. I suggest the Valley Ridge Romance Book Club insists that we’ll read anything as long as there’s a happily-ever-after at the end.”
Mattie found herself seconding the motion and laughing as they all talked about books they’d like to read.
“Maeve’s going to be excited,” Sophie predicted. “But back to the two of you, I think you should be open to the idea of falling in love.”
“I was in love once, and that was enough,” Mattie offered with a grin. “It didn’t last—probably because he never knew—but whose first love does?”
“Mine didn’t,” Lily admitted. “He promised he’d be there for me when I was going through a tough time, but in the end, he took the easy way out and left me on my own. It wasn’t just a first love fizzling...it was a first love crashing and burning. I was burned so badly I wasn’t sure I’d ever fall in love again. But he taught me a couple lessons.”
“Like?” Sophie asked.
“Like making sure if I ever fell in love again it was with a
man who didn’t care what others thought, but cared about others, if that makes sense.”
“I get it,” Sophie said. “When I saw Colton for the first time he was hard to miss with that cowboy hat of his. He was coming down Park Street wearing it and I’d just moved to town and taken the job at the winery association. He stopped to load his truck at the Farm Supply store and Hank came out with a cart full of supplies. Colton immediately quit what he was doing to help Hank. After Hank left, Colton finished and took off along the same route as Hank. When I reached the diner, there was Colton unloading Hank’s truck. It was that easy. I started to fall in love right then.”
Lily sighed, and though Mattie suppressed it, she definitely let loose an inner sigh. She felt more than a bit of nostalgia over that long-ago crush on Finn Wallace. Back then, Bridget’s older brother barely knew she existed, but he’d always been kind. He wasn’t the type of brother to torture his little sister and her friend. He treated them with benign indifference and never noticed Mattie’s crush.
Bridget had noticed, but she wasn’t the type of friend to tease or comment. Eventually, Mattie had gotten over him.
Right.
The only thing she felt for Finn Wallace now was utter annoyance. She thought about him suing her, and tried to work up a good head of steam, but she had to admit, Finn wasn’t suing her out of meaness. She knew he really felt he could give the kids more than she could.
And she knew he could...financially.
Before, she’d have sworn that he couldn’t give the children the time and love they deserved, but then there was yesterday. Finn going upstairs to check on Zoe. Finn sitting at the table painting with all of them.
Finn restructuring his job in order to be in Valley Ridge each weekend.
Maybe at first he’d done it to make his bid for guardianship look better, but now?
“If I ever settle on one man, it would have to be a man as easy for me to love as Colton was for you,” Lily said. “Although, I don’t know if I’ll be lucky enough to get a cowboy hat as a sign.”
Sophie chuckled. “You never know. Maybe Colton’s going to start a trend.”
“He is an amazing man,” Mattie said. “I mean, not every guy would give up his Sunday to make a job for a preteen to earn her phone.”
“Colton loves the kids, and he’s thrilled to put them to work on his surprise.” Sophie glanced toward the direction the John Deere had headed. “A man who doesn’t care about what others think, but cares about others...that’s exactly what I got in Colton.”
“Well, I for one will be looking for my sign,” Lily said with characteristic cheer. “And, Mattie, maybe your cowboy hat is right around the corner, too.”
Mattie was about to scoff at the idea of signs, but she thought about it. “I don’t know about a specific moment you know you love someone, but I do know there was a moment I knew that there was something different about my friendship with the two of you. I’ve had countless friends over the years as I moved from place to place, but none were as close to me as Bridget was. I didn’t think I could ever have that kind of friendship with anyone else. But, Sophie, there was a day toward the end when I had my eyes closed, lying on the recliner in Bridget’s room while she slept. You came in to check on her and asked why she was crying. She’d been doing it so quietly I hadn’t realized. She confessed she was afraid, that she knew she’d done the best thing for her children and she wasn’t afraid for them, she was afraid for herself. You sat on the end of the bed and took her hand and you told her that sometimes you can’t be with someone you love because of circumstances beyond your control, but love doesn’t rely on proximity. It simply is. Even if you’re not with someone, love doesn’t die. And if love doesn’t die, then we never really do, either. You told Bridget that you’d help me, that you’d make sure that the kids all knew they were loved, not only by us, but by their mother. You told her that you’d make sure they understood that she’d have done anything to stay with them, but since she couldn’t she gave them to people who would love them and protect them. That they’d never doubt it. That was the moment I knew you were special... I don’t know how to explain it, but you were more than just a social friend. You were a very close friend, like a sister.”
She turned to Lily. “And you. There was a moment that I knew you were that kind of friend, too. The kids had gone in to tell Bridget good-night, and as I came out of her room, you hugged Zoe and told her that everything was going to be all right. She said no, it wasn’t, and called you stupid as she charged up the stairs. I apologized, and you told me that anger was natural. You’d be worried if Zoe wasn’t angry. She was smart enough to know she was going to lose her mother, and who wouldn’t be angry about that? But even if it made her mad, she’d needed that hug, even if she didn’t know it. Then you walked over and hugged me. I asked what that was for. You smiled and said, ‘Everyone needs to be hugged sometimes...even if they don’t know it.’ I blustered, I’m sure, but you walked back into Bridget’s room and ignored me. And damn it, I did need that hug.”
Lily laughed and took Mattie’s hand and Sophie’s in hers. “Friends. I think we’re all very lucky to have found each other. And, Sophie, you’re lucky you found your cowboy. And if we’re lucky, Mattie and I will find men like that...who don’t care what people think of them, but care about others.”
Mattie looked in the direction Colton had driven off. Finn had never cared what others thought about him. And if you’d asked her only weeks ago, she’d have said he didn’t care about anyone but himself. But she’d witnessed his pain over losing Bridget, and now she saw how hard he was trying with the kids. Maybe overtly showing how much he did care wasn’t in Finn’s nature, but it was there. He cared.
“Mattie?” Sophie asked softly.
She gave herself a mental shake. “Sorry, where were we?”
“Well, Lily and I were going to go over some of the wedding plans. Neither of us were sure exactly where you were.”
Mattie laughed. “Not sure where I was, either, but now I’m here and I’m all yours.”
Two hours later, the tractor rumbled back toward the barn. The kids and Colton were in the wagon, and Finn was driving the tractor, Colton’s hat on his head.
When Sophie spotted it she giggled. “There it is. A sign. Now, I wonder who the sign was meant for?”
She looked pointedly in Mattie’s direction.
“Oh, I don’t think so.” She was very relieved that she hadn’t shared who the target of that childhood crush was, otherwise Sophie would make it her mission to throw her together with Finn more than they already were. “I mean, if I fell for someone who didn’t live in Valley Ridge, I’d have to leave, and I’m not ready to do that. I’m happy to be home.”
Sophie leaned across the table and all the bridal books and hugged her. “You’re right. That cowboy hat was definitely not a sign for you. Lily and I don’t want to lose you, do we, Lil?”
“Not on your life.”
Lily joined in the hug.
Mattie had never thought of herself as a hugger. Oh, sure, she hugged her family on occasion, but she wasn’t the type of woman to run into friends and go all gushy and huggy on them.
But she had to admit, knowing she had two friends who didn’t want to lose her felt good.
Felt right.
“Aunt Mattie,” Abbey screamed as she sprinted up onto the deck. “Guess what?”
“I think it’s a surprise, so I probably shouldn’t guess.” Mattie pointed to Sophie.
“Oh, yeah, you shouldn’t, ’cause Colton, he don’t want Sophie to know, but she’s gonna be so happy. I bet she cries ’cause she’s so happy. That happens. Sometimes you cry ’cause you’re sad, but sometimes ’cause you’re happy. That’s what Mom said when she cried ’cause I was Mary in the Christmas pageant. She said, ‘Abbey, sometimes you’re just so happy that the happiness got nowhere else to go but out your eyes.’” She turned to Sophie. “You’re gonna like this so m
uch you’ll have all kinds of happiness comin’ out your eyeballs, too.”
“I’m sure I will,” Sophie assured her, “and it will be more special because you helped Colton with it.”
“Oh, sure. I was a big help. I—”
“Abbey,” Zoe called out as a warning.
“Oops.”
Mickey came up on the deck followed by the men. Finn still had the cowboy hat on his head. “What do you think?”
It was a bit large and slipped farther down his forehead than it was supposed to. Still, Mattie couldn’t help but think about what Sophie had said. She didn’t need a cowboy hat to tell her Finn didn’t march to anyone’s opinion but his own. And she knew in her heart that he cared about his patients. And cared about the kids.
The thought should have made her happy, but instead, it made her question if following Bridget’s wishes was the right thing to do. Maybe she should let Finn have the kids.
Even if it would break her own heart to give them up.
CHAPTER NINE
FINN COULDN’T SHAKE the mental images of Saturday and Sunday. They stuck with him through his week. Mattie touching his hand, placing hers on his as if it belonged there. The younger kids begging for fish and a puppy. Zoe, so angry—so hurt—but responding to him.
Spending the rest of the day with them. Spending the rest of the weekend together with Mattie and the kids, a feeling of familiarity beginning to take hold.
He shook his head. The weekend was over and he had patients to see, and each of them deserved his full attention. He couldn’t let himself get distracted. He pasted on a professional smile, grabbed the first chart that was hanging next to the exam room door, and went in. “Mr. Neils, how are you today?”
“Fine and dandy,” the older man said with a smile.
Mrs. Neils was sitting next to him, holding his hand. She’d been at his side his entire illness.
“We celebrated our fortieth anniversary last night,” he explained. “Forty years married to the prettiest woman in the world. How could I be anything less than fine and dandy?”