by Holly Jacobs
It was rather handy having a doctor on call...not that she planned on telling him that.
She was sure he’d tell her it was nothing. That’s what the nurse at school had said. Just some virus. Her mother had agreed.
Mattie was sure she’d done everything she could, but she knew she’d feel better after she talked to Finn.
She glanced over at the little girl, and couldn’t help but think of Bridget.
What would Bridget do?
Mattie felt certain that Bridget would have done something more to make Abbey feel better.
“Aunt Mattie, Bear’s hoggin’ the couch again,” Abbey called.
Mattie hoped her grumpiness was a sign she was feeling better. She’d asked to pick up the dog on their way home, then demanded he be allowed to come up on the couch with her. Since then, she’d whined that he took up too much space. But by then there was no getting rid of the giant dog. He’d decided that looking after Abbey was his afternoon’s personal mission.
“Hang on,” Mattie hollered back as she opened the door for Lily and the older kids. “I’ll scootch him over.”
Zoe and Mickey bolted inside the house, but Lily remained on the porch. “Thanks for walking them, Lil. Want to come in for some coffee?”
“No problem, and thanks, but I’ve got to get to Miss Helen’s...” Lily glanced at her watch, then added, “Unless you wanted me to look at Abbey?”
Mattie wanted to shout, yes, come look at her, but she knew Lily had already squeezed time out of her busy day for this. She didn’t want to inconvenience her friend any further, so she shook her head. “The school said there’s a virus going around. I gave her some acetaminophen and ice chips for her throat. Unless you have a better suggestion?”
“Sounds about right to me. Call if you need anything else,” Lily said with a wave as she bolted toward her car.
Mattie shut the door and faced Zoe and Mickey, who looked miffed.
“I didn’t need someone to pick me up, Aunt Mattie. I’m eleven and old enough to walk home on my own.” Zoe gave a preteen sniff of disdain. “You could have called my cell and told me Ab was sick and I just needed to walk Mick.”
“You’re right on both counts. You are more than old enough, and I could have called. It’s just when Lily offered, I said yes without thinking. Next time I’ll think it through.”
“Me, too. I don’t need to be picked up,” Mickey echoed.
“I know, but I’d said I’d pick you up today because it was rainy. I didn’t want to simply not show up.”
“Cell phone,” Zoe pointed out.
“Yes, I know.” She’d had the same thought. “I’m not used to you having it yet.”
The kids ran into the living room and Mickey jumped on the couch and Bear dug out from under the covers Abbey had buried him under, and jumped on Mickey.
“Aunt Mattie, Bear pulled my blankets off,” Abbey whined.
“Here you go.” Mattie pulled the blankets back in place.
Despite her worry, Abbey’s whining was a bit fingernail-on-the-chalkboard-ish.
“I’m getting a snack,” Mickey yelled as he sprinted toward the kitchen. Normally, Bear would have torn off after him, but this time, he hopped back up on the couch so he was next to Abbey.
“Aunt Mattie, Bear is hoggin’ the couch and I want some more juice.” There was a pause and for a moment, Mattie thought silence was going to reign, but then Abbey wailed, “Aunt Maaaattie.”
Mattie tamped down her worry and the small bit of annoyance that seemed to spike with every whine, and scootched Bear over, then got Abbey more juice. She settled Mickey at the coffee table to start his homework and keep Abbey company as she started dinner.
She was rifling through the pan drawer when Zoe came over and began her homework at the counter. Mattie set the soup pot on the stove as Zoe asked, “Can I go bowling on Saturday afternoon with friends?”
Saturdays were Finn’s day with the kids, and Mattie didn’t want him to think that she was keeping Zoe away from him, but she also knew that Zoe deserved to hang with her friends.
“Let me run it by Uncle Finn before I say yes.”
“Why do you have to run it by him? You’re the boss...he’s not.”
“Your uncle and I are partners. It’s only polite to check with him before I say yes. I’d be mad if he gave you permission for something without checking with me.”
Mattie dumped a can of black beans into the soup pot. She preferred dried beans, but hadn’t planned to make soup, so she hadn’t soaked them. Thinking about beans was easier than thinking about Abbey being sick.
“You’re gonna ask Uncle Finn about Saturday bowling, right?”
“I said I would.”
Zoe opened a book noisily, and since there was normally very little noise involved with the process, Mattie was impressed with her talent.
“I still don’t think you should have to ask,” Zoe mumbled in such a way that Mattie knew she was supposed to respond.
“I’m not really asking permission, I’m simply doing him the courtesy of discussing it with him.” She turned from the soup and faced Zoe. “Listen, I’m new to this. When I sometimes helped out when your mom was alive...” She felt as bad as Zoe looked when she said those words. She reached out and took Zoe’s hand. “When she was here, I could ask her. She always knew what to do.”
Zoe gulped. “She was a great mom.”
“The best. I still don’t know why she thought I could do this. It all came so naturally to her, but...” Naturally was not how she’d describe her guardianship. “But I’m trying. It’s nice to have some other adult’s opinion. And Finn—your uncle Finn—loves you and should have a say. He’ll be here, and if you’re bowling, it might impact his plans.”
Zoe simply snorted her response and went back to her math problems.
Mattie turned back to the soup. Some days she was so busy with work and worries that she forgot for huge chunks of time that Bridget was gone. Then in a wave, the feelings of loss and overwhelming sadness overpowered her.
But she couldn’t indulge them now. She had a sick six-year-old and testy preteen to deal with. And of course, that meant that the girls were occupying her thoughts, and she felt guilty about not worrying more about Mickey, so then she worried about him.
She handled the frozen leftover chicken she’d stashed last week in the fridge and was midway to placing it into the pot when Mickey screamed, “Aunt Mattie,” in such a way that she dropped the whole thing on the floor. She sprinted to the living room where Mickey was standing, staring at Abbey, who was jerking on the couch.
Mattie didn’t need to have a medical degree to know a convulsion when she saw one. Without thinking, she pulled Abbey off the couch and onto the floor, then rolled her to her side. She yelled at Zoe, “Call 911.”
“Aunt Mattie, what’s wrong?” Mickey asked, his voice quivering.
The little girl continued shaking and it didn’t look as if she were breathing. Mattie put a finger in front of her nose, and felt nothing. She didn’t know what to do. Start CPR? That would involve laying her on her back and if she vomited, she would aspirate it. Mattie felt panicked. But just then, Abbey quit shaking and drew a deep breath.
Zoe ran up to them. “I called them, Aunt Mattie.”
“Call Uncle Finn.”
She reached down and put her hand on Abbey’s forehead. She was burning up.
“Mickey, go get bags of frozen vegetables, please.”
Bring down the fever. She didn’t know what else to do. Fevers brought on convulsions sometimes. She wasn’t sure where she read that, but she had.
Abbey slowly stirred. “Aunt Mattie?”
She leaned down and kissed the little girl’s hot forehead. “I’m here, sweetie.”
Mickey came back with the bags.
Mattie shoved them under Abbey’s armpits and one on her neck.
“Uncle Finn didn’t answer his phone,” Zoe
said.
“Did you leave a message?” Mattie asked, without taking her eyes off Abbey, who appeared to have fallen asleep.
“Yeah, I left a message.” Zoe’s voice seem very small as she asked, “Is she going to be okay?”
Mattie didn’t know. She didn’t know one thing about seizures, but she answered, “Yes, she’ll be fine,” and swore as she said the words she’d make them true. She squeezed the little girl’s warm hand.
How had she missed how sick Abbey was? She replayed the afternoon in her head and Abbey had seemed ill, but nothing dire. She’d whined about the dog and a sore throat, she’d tugged at her ears and been warm, but nothing like this.
“I’m sure Finn will call when he can,” she said more to herself than to the kids. Where was he? He should be here. He would know what to do. He would have known that Abbey didn’t have a simple virus.
There was a knock on the door.
“It’s the ambulance,” Zoe yelled.
“Let them in.” Mattie had thought she’d feel relief when they arrived, but she didn’t. She was so sick with worry she felt nauseous.
They took vitals, and loaded Abbey onto the gurney. She looked so pale, so helpless, her red braids stark against the whiteness of her skin. Mattie felt like crying, but she didn’t. She wouldn’t scare the kids like that.
Normally, she’d kennel Bear, but he was the least of her worries. He could tear the house apart for all she cared. She wanted to get Abbey to the hospital. She grabbed her purse. “Come on, guys, let’s go.”
“They can’t ride with us ma’am,” said the EMT. In a town where Mattie knew most everyone, these two were people she’d never met.
“Just you,” the other one said.
She felt torn. There simply wasn’t enough of her to be everywhere she was needed. “Zoe, you know how you bring the kids home from school sometimes? This is even more responsibility. I need you to stay here and watch Mickey. I’ll call my mom to come get you guys, but you need to babysit until then.”
It was a plan on the fly, but it was the best she could do.
“I’ll watch him, Aunt Mattie.”
The EMTs started wheeling Abbey toward the door. “Aunt Mattie,” she called.
“I’ve got to go. Someone will be here for you in a few minutes. Be good.”
She crawled into the ambulance and glanced back at the kids, feeling as if she was being ripped in two.
* * *
FINN GOT ZOE’S MESSAGE after he finished his last surgery. He wanted nothing more than to leave then, but he had to arrange to have someone cover his patients before he could go.
He’d called the hospital closest to Valley Ridge for an update as he drove there. Febrile seizures were common in children four and under. Abbey was pushing the envelope at six, but it wasn’t unheard of. Most of the time, the patient was treated with acetaminophen to bring down the fever, and the underlying illness was treated.
Abbey’s E.R. doc said she had a dual ear infection and that her temperature had dropped. They’d put her on an antibiotic for the ear infections and were ready to send her home, but Mattie wanted Abbey to stay put for observation, at least until Finn arrived.
Normally, they’d have cut Abbey loose regardless, but out of professional courtesy, they were waiting for him.
The hour or so drive from Buffalo to Valley Ridge normally went fast, but today, it dragged, despite the fact his foot was heavy. Mile markers that normally whizzed past, didn’t.
As a doctor Finn knew that Abbey was going to be fine.
As an uncle, he wanted to see her for himself. Not being there when she’d been so ill was killing him.
Mattie’s words from their prior arguments replayed in his mind as he covered the seemingly endless miles to Valley Ridge.
You could give the kids monetary things, but what they needed most was time.
Time.
He’d thought he could juggle his career with the kids’ needs.
But maybe he couldn’t.
What if he’d had the kids with him in Buffalo when Abbey got sick?
He’d have the best babysitter, but Abbey would have wanted someone she knew and loved to take care of her.
He’d have been in surgery, and Mattie would once again be blowing in the wind. She’d be somewhere other than in Valley Ridge, looking for...
He had no idea what Mattie Keith was looking for.
He thought she’d chafe at staying put and caring for the kids, but he hadn’t seen any evidence of chafing.
He’d talked to her mom, who was watching Zoe and Mickey. She said that when the school said Abbey was sick, Mattie had simply closed the coffee shop and went to pick her up.
The kids were Mattie’s priority.
They were his, too, but he couldn’t simply walk away from a surgery.
Maybe Bridget had known what she was doing when she left the care of her children to Mattie.
Valley Ridge was too small to have a hospital, but thankfully, the nearest one wasn’t too far away from town. Finn pulled into the parking lot and hurried inside the emergency room.
“Abigail Langley?” he barked at the triage nurse.
“Exam room three.” The fact he was still wearing scrubs probably stopped her from asking about relationship to the patient.
He sprinted through the hallway and found the exam room to his left.
He drew back the curtain, and saw his youngest niece dwarfed by the size of the E.R. gurney. She was so tiny and appeared to be sleeping normally.
“Finn?” Mattie was suddenly in his arms. “I have never been so scared. They tried to make me take her home, but I wouldn’t, not until you were here and checked her out. The nurse said that the seizure won’t have any lasting effects, but she sounded so cavalier. What if they’re wrong? What if it’s something else? What if I take her home and she convulses again and this time—”
Mattie hiccuped a small sob and he pulled her close. “Mattie, shh. It’s okay. She’s okay.”
Finn had dealt with the families of patients before, but this was different. This was Mattie. She was more than his sister’s friend, or his nieces’ and nephew’s caretaker. She was...
He couldn’t identify what Mattie was to him right now. All his attention had to be on Abbey.
“She’s so still,” Mattie whispered.
“She’s sleeping. That’s normal after what she’s been through. She’s sick, but she’ll be fine.”
Mattie pulled free from his embrace. “You check her.”
Her request—well, command—suited him. He walked over to the bed and laid his hand across Abbey’s forehead, pleased that while it was warm to the touch, it wasn’t hot.
Abbey’s eyes fluttered. “Hi, Uncle Finn.”
“Hi, yourself. I hear you’re not feeling so good. I got here as fast as I could.” He sat gingerly on the edge of the bed, next to her.
“I knew you’d come,” she said with the absolute certainty that only a six-year-old could possess. “I feel better now. But Aunt Mattie don’t.”
He glanced back at Mattie. Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail, except for the bits that escaped and framed her pale face. She looked pinched and haggard with worry—worry that he sympathized with. Though he knew most kids who had febrile seizures never had another, the uncle in him felt as scared and haggard with worry as Mattie.
“She’s worried about you.”
Abbey nodded; evidently she already knew that. “Yeah, ’cause she loves me.”
“That’s right. I love you, too.” As Finn said the words, he realized he’d never told his nieces and nephew that before. “I really love you.”
“Yeah, that’s good. When Mommy was sick, she said it was gonna be okay, ’cause she’d watch me and love me from heaven, and she was leaving Aunt Mattie and you to love me here. That’s a lot of love, she said.”
His throat constricted, but he forced the words through. “That is a lot
of love.”
“My ears and throat still hurt, but not as much. I’m gonna go to sleep now.” She dropped her head back into the pillow.
“Okay. I’ll be here until it’s time to take you home.”
She lowered her voice to a stage whisper, and said, “You make Aunt Mattie feel better, ’kay? She needs lots of love, too.”
He glanced back at Mattie. “I’ll take care of her.”
Abbey smiled and closed her eyes again.
“She’s going to be fine, Mattie.”
“Yeah, that very scientific examination of yours convinced me. She’s fine.” She tried to sound tough, but he could hear the fear and the tears so close to the surface.
He picked up the chart and read through it. “Here’s how it works. She spiked a fever. It climbed so high, so fast, that her body reacted. The acetaminophen lowered her fever, so the odds of her convulsing again are negligible.” Mattie didn’t look convinced. “Almost nonexistent,” he tried.
That seemed to work better, and Mattie visibly relaxed. “They’ve put her on antibiotics for her ear infections. The poor kid will probably have more trouble with her earaches than anything else,” he finished.
Finn pulled Mattie into one of the hard plastic chairs, and he took the one next to it. “She’s going to be fine.”
“What if...” she started.
“There’s no what if,” he insisted. “We’re going to take her home. She’ll be more comfortable in her own bed. And if it’s okay with you, I’ll spend the night, just to be sure she’s fine.”
“You will?” she asked with a sigh of what he thought was relief.
“I will.” He knew that JoAnn would have a room for him, but her place seemed too far away from where he wanted to be...at home with Mattie and the kids. He wanted to be able to check on Abbey, and soothe Mickey and Zoe, as much as he tried to soothe Mattie’s fears.
He wanted to be there for all of them.
“Don’t you have to work tomorrow morning?” Mattie asked.