by Drew Avera
“Oh, God,” I hissed as I sat up, wiping the bead of sweat from my forehead with the back of my hand. I didn’t believe in a higher power, but I found myself uttering those words more and more as I got older. I was certain there was a psychological reason why, or some philosophical explanation, but I wasn’t interested in finding out.
I climbed out of bed and let the blanket fall off as I attempted to escape the feeling of dread which drove me from my slumber. My eyes were too sensitive to light when first waking for me to want to switch on the overhead, so I settled for opening the curtains instead. Out in the distance, the tall buildings with their projected advertisements, lit up Inner Downtown Archea. The lights reflected off the dome and cast a blueish hue over the cityscape which contrasted greatly with the rust-colored world outside. I focused on the advertisement across the way from me. The dancing model was intended to sell beverages, but it was hard to guess without seeing the logo in the top corner. The scantily clad woman appeared to be more of a distraction to lure in young men as a subliminal message that drinking said beverage would attract a mate. It was complete hokum, but I was more than certain the message sank in to young, overly eager males.
I remembered when it would have worked on me.
Despite the despair I felt, waking from a dream where I relived the worst part of my life, the faintest hint of a smile spread across my face and looked back at me in the reflection of my window. I hadn’t seen that smile in a number of months either. It felt as if all the joy was gone from life and I simply went through the motions to keep myself from going crazy. Perhaps it was too late, and my insanity was the justification for the cyclic repetitiveness of my current state.
I didn’t care to dwell on it.
I reached over to the chair next to me and dragged it to the window before collapsing into it. The plush cushions were more comfortable than my bed some nights, but the crick in my neck protested the lack of a headrest. I sighed and simply leaned forward, my head pressing against the window as I looked out at the city that I thought I had control over.
Perspective was a damnable thing. All it took was the slightest turn of your head, and the view warped until you barely recognized what you were looking at. It was a metaphor for what my life had become. I still looked through the lens of the past for my identity, but I was a long way from the man I used to be.
“Get yourself together,” I whispered through my teeth. Self-motivation was never an easy thing, but action usually knocked enough dust off to get me moving in the right direction. I rose with a groan and retrieved my comm from the nightstand. Flipping the switch to on, I checked for messages, and I was pleased to find that there was one from Pollux.
I hit play expectantly.
“Pontiff, I have news regarding the nightlife here in Clenist. A few hours after sunset, the landscape does take on a darker scenery. Most of what I see are beggars in the street, those simply trying to make ends meet or score a dose. I’m not seeing evidence of an elaborate crime ring, though. I’ll keep an eye out through the evening and report back to you in the morning if I find anything.”
I let the message repeat as I fell back into my chair.
The news was positive if it was indeed true. The cautious type of criminal might not rear his head so soon after the attack on Akran, though. This evening could be the exception and not the norm for Clenist following her attack. As Pollux previously stated, this could take a few days to sort out.
After the sixth or seventh playback, I switched off the comm and tossed it across the room and onto the bed. I had no plans on returning to it for the rest of the night because I knew what awaited me as soon as my eyes closed again.
The dream always started the same. I stood on one end of the aisle as I saw Marada drooped in her seat. Unlike that night, I knew what was wrong, and I immediate sprang towards her in hopes of saving her. But the floor reached up like tendrils and clasped hold of me, pulling me down into the dark void of hell awaiting me. Voices chanted my name in a chorus as Marada lifts her head at me and gazes upon me with her lifeless eyes. There were no words spoken, but I knew what she wanted to say just by the way she looked at me.
It was the look of someone who felt betrayed.
At that point in the dream I always lost my will to fight the darkness and ultimately succumbed to it. It felt like drowning until the fear drove me from my sleep with the misery of the experience etched into my mind like a stone tablet.
The nightmares began a few weeks after her death after I agreed to join the Syndicate, still aptly named the World Council. It was an organization within a familiar entity. It became something darker than I was led to believe, or maybe I was too blind to see it. I agreed to take the position because I intended to bring honor to her memory with my service as Pontiff. Instead, in the nightmare, I sensed I only brought her shame.
The frequency of the nightmare escalated for a long time until I began to self-medicate. I was able to silence the dream for long enough to no longer experience it. I fell into a new normal for a long time.
Until I met Akran and my life took a new turn.
Ever since then, I lacked an adequate amount of control over my life. I felt one part slipping away as I struggled to save the other. It felt like being on a sinking boat with two holes and one bucket. You can only focus on one flooding compartment at a time, but you were doomed to sink despite how hard you struggled not to.
That was the irony of my life and the realization that my subconscious revealed through the nightmare what I refused to acknowledge while awake.
I was slipping into the darkness no matter what I did.
Fifteen
Micah
“Get in here,” I snapped, waiting for Khari to come into my office before I slammed the door behind me. He followed me like a cowering dog with his tail tucked between his legs. I imagined a light whimper from him before I spoke again. “Was that not suspect to you?” I asked as the sound of the slamming door reverberated off the walls. I didn’t have to imagine the flinch as I watched him through the corner of my eye.
“I have no idea where that line of questioning came from, sir,” he replied. There was a whine to his voice that did not necessarily insinuate that he felt guilty. Besides, he always wore his heart on his sleeve. Khari was one of the few men I could read like a book. “I assure you that the question was not preapproved by our people,” he continued, “I reviewed each submission myself.”
“It appears the reporter snuck one in somehow,” I spat. I paced the room, keeping my eyes out the window as if I was waiting on someone to crash through it. “Could someone on our team be feeding them questions to undermine my authority?”
He clicked his tongue against his teeth which was a sound he knew I hated. I had told him more than once that the sound made me want to break his jaw. Fortunately, he stopped when he noticed that I was staring at him. “I’m not sure who could have that kind of access, sir,” he replied. He moved across the office like a rat scurrying away while I continued my nervous pacing back and forth. “In fact, that reporter was not on the list of news outlets you had me coordinate with earlier today. Perhaps an oversight on my part contributed to this?”
I waved my hand in the air dismissively as I scoffed. “Don’t be ridiculous,” I said. “This goes way beyond a slight oversight of the situation. If the reporter infiltrated my brief, then they were allowed in by someone. I signed off on the list you provided me.”
“I’m sure you’re right,” he replied, “as always.” I got the hint he was trying to butter me up before disappointing me with some other news. I hesitated as I waited for him to speak again and I could tell he sensed the growing tension in the room. “I’ll take a look at the correspondence that has left this building to be sure. If there’s a mole then I’ll find them.”
I’m sure you will, I thought, hiding the grin forming on my face by rubbing my chin. He didn’t seem to notice. “Maybe it would be a good idea to have a talk with our friends from last ni
ght,” I said.
Khari stopped fiddling with his papers long enough to glance up at me with this jaw slack. “Do you really think those bottom feeders are clever enough to interfere with our dealings?” he asked. I heard a tinge of disbelief in his voice and it piqued my curiosity.
“I am surprised that you of all people would underestimate the people under our employ. Don’t you understand that by not considering them as a threat to us, that you could open a door that leads to our demise?” I practically quoted the same words spoken to me by my mentor years earlier. It was fitting considering the situation, and the pending arrival of the Pontiff.
“I had not considered that, sir,” he replied sheepishly.
“No? Let that be a lesson from me to you then,” I said as I stepped towards the window and looked down at the late afternoon activity. Inner-Downtown had grown to become a madhouse. With the power grid failure in the Southern Sector we have seen a sharp rise in the population nearby. It was understandable. After all, with the World Council paying for the relocation of the residents while repairs were made, it was within reason that the hotels in the area would compete for the government funding.
“Yes sir,” he said. I heard him fumbling around with other objects on his desk, but I grew bored of the conversation and fell silent. I would let him run down whatever leads he could to seek out who manipulated the media and inserted unfettered questions during my briefing. In the meantime, I felt it best to focus my efforts on what I could actually control.
“I have a meeting,” I said after a few minutes of silence.
“Do you need me to accompany you?” Khari asked, not bothering to look up from whatever he was working on.
“No, this is something I need to do for myself. You have plenty of work to keep yourself busy.”
Khari nodded before disappearing behind the partitioned wall in our shared office. “If you need me, then you know where I’ll be,” he said.
“That I do.”
I walked out of the office as the sound of my heels clacked against the tile while I made my way to the elevator. I hated unnecessary noise. If anything, it was a warning to people that I was nearby. I sought anonymity, to lurk in the shadows when I operated. Who knew whose eyes would catch a glimpse of me as I left, noting the time and piecing together a puzzle in their mind of what I was up to?
I shook the paranoid thoughts from my mind and resettled myself into the plan. This was just a business meeting with an investor. There was nothing to see here.
“Have a good evening, Councilman Troth,” Elenka said as she leaned against the wall just around the corner from the elevator. I would have been lying if I said she hadn’t startled me, but I maintained my composure.
“Elenka, I’m surprised to see you here, especially without an escort,” I said dismissively, yet she had my full attention now.
“You know the media, always wanting to get the juicy story. I thought by roaming the halls that I might find something of interest.” She spoke in a way that led me to believe she was trying to put me on guard, like she had some revelation that would cripple me in some way. I knew she didn’t, but I let her hold her pitiful power play charade to see where it was going. If I didn’t like it, I could always crush her career…or silence her permanently.
“And what did you find?”
She rolled her eyes and blew a stray hair out of her face as she sauntered towards me. “What do you think I found?” her question ended with the resonant ding of the elevator door opening. I about leaped out of my skin and the feeling embarrassed me to no end. I had no idea why I felt so nervous around her. Some might think it was because I was attracted to her, or felt threatened in some way, but neither of those felt right.
“Nothing,” I said, “you found nothing.”
“Nothing except white walls and the rush of people getting off work for the day,” she said, the slightest hint of a smug grin formed on her face. I didn’t know how to take it, so I kept silent. “You really need to learn how to take a joke,” Elenka said, nudging my elbow as she stepped past me and into the elevator. I stood there, dumbfounded. “Are you coming or not?”
Her question pulled me out of my thoughts. I realized whatever damage control I thought I was doing was failing magnificently. “Yeah, I’m coming.” I stood next to her as she pressed the button to take us to the lobby.
“You seem aloof. Is there something bothering you?”
I didn’t know how to respond. I wanted to say no, but the lie was caught at the back of my throat. I didn’t understand my own feelings, much less how to read the situation. “I’m just overwhelmed is all.” It was the most sterile way I could answer the question without divulging any information. It was the closest thing to a win as I was going to get in her presence.
“I can imagine the World Council is like a circus after what happened with Akran,” she said, forgoing the councilwoman’s title.
“You have no idea.”
“Would you care to enlighten me, over dinner?”
I was stunned, practically speechless, which never happened unless I was around her. “Are you asking a member of the World Council out on a date? That’s very forward of you, and I’m sure you know there are laws that prohibit this,” I said, my words sounding more like the pitiful excuse a kid gives his teacher when not doing their homework, at least to my own ears.
Elenka chortled. “What? I would never—
The elevator stopped and opened before us as we stood there staring at one another awkwardly. The only thing to interrupt the moment was the sound of someone clearing their throat. “Are you two going to step out of the elevator or am I going to be the third wheel?” a man asked as he held the door open with one hand. Sharing the World Council building with a real estate firm on a different floor didn’t come without its own form of encroachments. This being one of them.
“Excuse us,” I said, leading Elenka out of the elevator by the small of her back. It felt sensual, but I couldn’t tell if it was my imagination or reality. I fearfully pulled my hand away before the man noticed where my eyes lingered.
“Have a good night you two,” he said before the elevator door closed. I turned to respond but it was too late.
“So, how about it?” Elenka asked.
“How about what?”
“Dinner,” she said, the playfulness in her voice almost gone. “I asked you to dinner.”
“Yeah,” I muttered. “And why is that?”
Her smile returned. “I’ll tell you over dinner.”
Suddenly, whatever plans I had for the night seemed to evaporate. I might regret it later, but for the time being, I had other interests.
“All right,” I said, forcing a smile to match hers. “Let’s do dinner.”
Sixteen
Pollux
I closed my comm after leaving the message for Halem and tucked it back into my pocket as I kept my eyes on a group of men who didn’t seem to notice me…yet.
I lurked in the shadows as best I could, taking advantage of the fact that most of the holo-ads were switched off in the Southern Sector due to the power-grid failure. Still, a glow emanated from the crest of the dome above my position as light pollution from the other areas seeped over. It was nowhere near as bad as we had it in Archea, though.
Despite what I said to Halem, I did think this small gang might be up to no good. What other reason would they have to be out in this area so late at night? Besides, nothing worthwhile was open. What better time to organize misdeeds when no one was there to stop you?
Their voices carried as they rooted some chant before conducting some primal, pre-war dance that included a lot of bumping and slapping each other as they motivated themselves for whatever deed was about to go down. It was almost comical if not slightly unnerving as their chanting seemed to glorify violence against a preselected target. I didn’t know offhand whom the target was, but I was certain the unfortunate soul wouldn’t make it through the night if this gang’s plan came to fruition.
I knew I couldn’t allow that to happen.
I watched at a safe distance as they soon approached, their grunts and howling settling back into something more conversational.
Rational people would be afraid as the bedlam made its way towards them, and my heartbeat did quicken, but it did so in the way a teenage boy noticed girls for the first time. With expectancy and a thrill that I could not quite put into words. It went beyond expectancy and anticipation. It was something stronger than that.
My fingers wiggled as my hands dangled by my sides. The men appeared unarmed, but that could be deceiving, concealment under long jackets could hide most any weapon. I would know for sure once they noticed me. It was a discovery I looked forward to making, but not as much as I craved using it against them.
“I think we need to branch out our territory, Creta,” one of the men said as he walked slightly behind the man in front of the group. If psychology was a factor, I would say the one in front was the leader of the gang, while the one chirping over his shoulder aspired to bask under that power with no real leadership potential to give him his own.
“We already own four blocks, man. What are we doing with them besides hustling on the same corner every night?” The leader replied, his voice gruff with irritation.
“Boss is right. It’s stupid to tag up the whole place if we ain’t going to use it,” another voice chimed in from the back. “We haven’t even been paid for protection yet. Once we control what we have, then we escalate.”
I flattened myself against the wall as I stood nonchalant, waiting for them to see me, ready for what I knew was coming with expectancy and glee. I didn’t allow it to show on my face, though. I thought it best to let them feel they had the advantage. It would be more satisfying to watch their expressions change as I pummeled them…punished them.