Now that I’m alone, I slyly slink into the shadows, effectively avoiding everyone who may want to stop me and have a word. It’s not what I’m supposed to do, but I can’t seem to help myself. I want to have a few moments to see her, see how she reacts to everything going on with us. I want to make sure she’s happy. It’s becoming my main goal in life. To make sure she’s happy and taken care of. With my back against the wall, I observe Amelia. Watching her has become one of my favorite past times. When she doesn’t know my eyes are on her, I can see how she’s really handling her new reality. The one who attentively listens to the person speaking, bends slightly down to hear an older person, holds the eye of the one wanting her attention, and politely smiles even when she’s uncomfortable.
Love. I think back to what Barrett suggested, and I wonder if perhaps she’s not starting to get under my skin in a way more than physical. I promised myself after my mom passed away I would never give my heart to someone else, but I never anticipated someone coming into my life like Lia. Stupidly I presumed everyone was like my father.
I think I was wrong.
I think I’m fucked.
Amelia
Glancing around the room, I wonder where Tristan is. I’ve been covertly watching as he works the room, just like I do, but five minutes ago, I lost him in the throngs of people. If he’s in the shadows, he’s doing a very good job at hiding. Working the room, I keep my eyes open and alert as I watch for him. He’s the thing that keeps me grounded in this crazy electrical storm of a situation I’ve found myself in. I’m doing my best to give everyone my undivided attention when I see a nightmare brought to life - a boy I met when I was fifteen and rebelling against being the one chosen for Tristan.
I’m looking for a way out of this situation, desperately trying to find my center. My Tristan, but I can’t see him. I don’t even see Parker. My heart beats faster, and I do my best to try to get a conversation with someone else going. But it doesn’t work. Right now everyone has somewhere else they need to be. Right when I need someone, everyone is gone.
Callum Wright was the man who stole my heart, my first kiss, and smashed through my virginity, even when I wasn’t sure I wanted him to. I try to avoid him, but he’s heading toward me, and as he catches up, I have no place to go.
My pulse pounds, almost so fast it makes me dizzy. Can’t anyone see I don’t want to be here? Can’t anyone see how uncomfortable he makes me?
I know they don’t, because everyone thinks Callum Wright is the nicest of men. More women than me have to know he isn’t, but I know no one will speak up.
“Amelia.” He mock bows to me. Just the sound of my name on his lips makes my skin crawl. “How is the future Queen of Haldonia.”
“Looking for her King,” I quip, glancing around, hoping I see Tristan in the crowd somewhere. I desperately want to see him, need to have his strong presence beside me. His strength will hold me up when nothing else will. Please, I beg silently, please come to me.
He leans into me, and I can smell the alcohol on his breath. When I glance up, his eyes are glassy, meaning he’s probably done more than drink some alcohol. It’s well-known in the circles he runs in that he can get anyone whatever they’d like to get their hands on. “I hear he’s a bore.”
My chin raises slightly, my jaw tightens. “He’s perfect for me.”
“Which makes sense, my dear, because you were a bore too.” He laughs cruelly.
I hate him.
With every beat of my pulsing heart. I hate him.
Tears prick, and I fight valiantly to keep them at bay. I refuse to let him see how his words have affected me. Instead I remind him of the day where he took what I didn’t want to give him, hoping it will make him ashamed of the man he was that day. “You didn’t seem to think so that day in the hayloft.”
His eyes burn, a smirk crosses his face. It’s so obvious he’s not ashamed of anything he’s ever done. It hurts me, maybe more now than it did then, because I know what it’s like to have the beautiful part of sharing your body with someone else. “At least one of us enjoyed ourselves.”
I fight to keep from flinching. “Must have been you, because I’ve had much better now.”
He doesn’t like what I said. His breathing quickens and he makes a sound in his throat. Maybe I’ve pushed too hard. Maybe I should have just kept quiet. The look on his face now is scary, and I find myself trying to retreat, but there’s really nowhere for me to go in this throng of people. Just as I’m about to fully panic, I feel a strong hand at my elbow.
“Is there a problem here?”
Tristan’s voice is the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard in my life.
“Yes,” I answer. “Yes, there is.”
Chapter Twenty
Tristan
I can hear the fear in her voice. It enrages me, the fact someone would make her this scared. The way it trembles at the end of each word she says. Her hand is cold as I take it, her body slightly trembling when I brace behind her for the support she so obviously needs in this moment. One of my arms goes around her waist. I’m not worried about how we should feel because we’re in public, I’m more concerned with the woman who will soon wear the crown beside me. The woman who is very quickly becoming one of the most important people in my life.
Leaning down, I angle my face to her ear, not taking my eyes off the man in front of her. “What’s wrong, Lia?”
The man in front of us has eyes of the devil. They’re hard and angry, like he’s been misrepresented in life so he’s now trying to live up to all the shit people assume he’s done.
I know what that’s like. Everyone thought I was a wild teenager. I didn’t start out that way, but as soon as I realized that’s what others expected of me, I lived up to it in a big way. Luckily I’m growing up and getting older now. I realize what that did to people who care about me. Now I’m wondering why this man is doing this to the woman I will call my wife.
He flinches when I call her Lia, and part of me wonders why. Did he call her this name once before? She didn’t object when I gave her the nickname.
Her hand clasps mine around her waist. She grips my fingers tightly, almost as if she’s taking strength from me. It’s what I want her to do. Take whatever she needs from me. I want to be the person to give her the confidence and strength she needs. “Someone from my past, who doesn’t matter now.”
“Then we should be going,” I say the words with a finality so there is no question. No one would dare question the future King, anyway. I make sure to let him know with the firm set of my lips, there is to be no questioning my authority. “It’s almost time to eat.”
As we leave, she flips her hand over in mine so that our palms clasp, I entwine my fingers with hers, navigating the crowd. Her hand is freezing, shaking slightly in the protection of mine. When we get to what will eventually be our table, I push us past it and direct her outside onto a balcony. Parker stands quietly by, watching under his ever-present gaze.
It’s cold, slightly snowing. I can see our breath in the stillness of the night, but I have to know what was going on back there. It’s a gnawing in my gut that won’t let go.
“What are we doing out here?” She wraps her hands around her upper arms, scrubbing up and down. I wonder if she’s scrubbing his gaze off her, or if she’s cold. Either way I’m a gentleman.
Shrugging off my jacket, I close her up in it, running my hands up and down, hoping to generate some heat. My voice is low as I speak to her. Even though I think we’re alone, one can never be too sure. “This is the only place we could be alone. I have questions, and hopefully you have answers.”
“I’ll never lie to you, Tris, I know how important that is.” Her chin quivers in the semi-darkness, and that little sign of vulnerability is almost enough to undo me.
Leaning forward, I rest my head on her shoulder, before I kiss her cheek. “It is extremely important to me. Please know I’ll respect your wishes if you don’t want to talk about this, but I have to ask
. What was going on with Callum back there?”
Her eyebrows come together in question. “You know him? The two of you acted like you’ve never met one another.”
“A mutual agreement. Unfortunately I do. Our families know one another. He and I have never been friends.”
He stole something from me as a child, and then lied about it. I’ve never been one to forgive easily and the grudge I’m holding against him has been one I’ve been harboring for years. To know he’s done something to Amelia makes me want to rage.
She looks like she doesn’t want to tell me, but I take a chance, whispering in her ear. “We both had lives before we met each other, Lia. Just tell me.”
I know she doesn’t like thinking of my life before her, and I sure as hell don’t want to think of hers. But we’re human, and being a human is sometimes messy. If we’re going to be together, it’s got to be through the messy honesty of our pasts.
“He was my first,” she whispers back at me.
The knife goes through my heart. I know what kind of an asshole this guy is. To know he was her first, how sensitive she is, and how passionate she’s been with me, is enough to make me clench my hand in a fist. I’d love to knock out his two front teeth.
“And it was awful. I never remember saying yes to him,” she closes her eyes. “But I don’t remember saying no either. It’s a blur.”
Fucking Callum Wright. There have been rumors going around about him for years, and to hear her talk about things I’ve heard. Goddamn him. “Why is it a blur?”
I’m torturing myself, wanting to know the answer to these questions. But I need to know, have to know what’s happened to her. Maybe one day it’ll give me the knowledge I need to get him out of our circle, and if it happens, then so-fucking-be-it.
“Callum was my first crush, my first kiss, and everything in between.” She grips my white tux shirt in her fingers. She’s playing with the buttons. I know from experience it’s a nervous gesture, so I let her continue, but the small way she’s talking is breaking my heart. She’s shrinking in on herself, trying to become invisible. I hate what he’s obviously done to her. “He knew I was promised to you, and I was going through a little bit of a rebellious phase.”
“Trust me,” I interrupt her. “He knew what he was doing, there is absolutely no love lost between the two of us.”
“One night my mom was talking about what my life would be like once I was promised to you. How she and I imagined things would be. Funny,” she laughs, “I didn’t exactly figure on us being compatible at all. But I was scared.” She shrugs. “I was a teenager and scared by what was expected of me. He happened to be visiting my brother and I told him I didn’t want to do what was required, I wish I hadn’t been betrothed.”
“I’m sure he used that to his advantage.” My tone is darker than even I like to hear it.
“We went to the barn, up to the hayloft. He gave me a drink to calm my nerves, and I can remember telling him I felt weird, but he said it was okay, he would take care of me. Then I remember pain, so much pain.” She stops, refusing to meet my gaze.
“Don’t you be ashamed of this, Lia. Don’t think it’s going to change the way I feel about you. He’s an ass and a manipulator, always has been.”
She breathes deeply. “After that night, he didn’t come around much. I don’t know if it’s because he got what he wanted, or because someone found out. Either way, I haven’t seen him in years, so it was surprising to see him here tonight.”
“Tristan.” I hear Parker’s voice. “They are expecting you. Everyone is starting to sit down for the food.”
“Not now.” I turn from her to face him. It’s not often I use my status to my advantage, but right now? I’m using it to within an inch of its life. She needs me, and I need her. Everyone else can wait. This is what’s most important. “We’re the guests of honor and we’ll go in there when we’re ready.”
“Tris.” She frames my face with her hands, her voice chiding. “Let’s go, there’s no reason to make everyone else late because I’m telling you about all the mistakes I’ve made.”
I want to argue, to tell her with one command anyone will do what I want them to. Immediately I know that’s not what she wants or needs, but fuck I need it. I need to be close to her for one more moment, to be reminded that the experience with Callum didn’t ruin her.
In this moment I want to be normal, want to let her get her feelings out, and be the helpful fiancé, but I can’t because I’m expected to rule a nation. “Wait.” I grab hold of her fingers. “Out of every obligation I’ve supposedly ever had in my life.” I pull her to me. “You’re the best one.”
She smiles brilliantly before I lean down, capturing her lips with a kiss.
“You’re my favorite one too, Tris.”
With a smile on my face, and a warmth in my chest, we go face not only our adoring public, but our adversaries who would love to tear us down. But that – I look at our hands clasped together, fingers entwined – will never happen.
Chapter Twenty-One
Amelia
When we go back inside, Tristan makes sure I'm escorted to the table before he makes his way to the front of the room. I watch his broad back and shoulders as he slowly walks between the tables, shaking hands and smiling when he needs to. To know he’s gone so quickly from wanting to protect me, to putting on this face for the public, amazes me. He’s much more than he gives himself credit for.
The anxious part of me looks for Parker, wanting to make sure someone is out there looking after his best interests. When I spot Parker, I allow myself to slump slightly, then remember I'm going to be Queen and need to act like it at all times. All I need is for someone to take an unflattering picture of me, then I’ll be all over the tabloids. I know for sure, I’m not ready to face that sort of ridicule yet.
Once again my eyes follow him. He stands tall and sure as he walks to the podium. Up on the stage, he’s larger than life. Even bigger than he normally appears to me. When he faces the crowd, my heart flutters in my chest. The short beard is dashing on him, as is the small amount of lipstick he forgot to wipe off his lips.
"Thank you all for being here tonight." His deep voice echoes in the silence of the room. "As most of you know charitable entities make up a great amount of what I work with throughout the year, and as I'm scheduled to take the place of my father, I will be handing these decisions over to my soon-to-be-bride. The both of us rely heavily on those of you filling this room to help fund the grants we are able to give to the less fortunate of our country."
As he says those words, he steps back and a video plays, showing the things he and his team have been able to do with the money raised. My eyes travel along the groups of tables situated among us. For a brief second, my eyes meet Callum's. I avert them quickly, but he still makes me shiver uncomfortably.
"As you can see, your generosity allows us to make Haldonia one of the lowest ranked countries when it comes to homelessness and starvation. We are also a world leader in recognizing mental health deficiencies in the national healthcare system. It's my honor to announce our graduation rate from the countries secondary schools is ninety-five percent. We are able to send eighty percent of those that graduate on to post-secondary education. There our students are ranked amongst the highest in the world. It's my pleasure to say the people of Haldonia can have the pick of where they want to work. Many stay here and put their earnings back into our economy, but some go to the US, to Scotland, to the UK and show all of the other nations what we can do."
He pauses as everyone applauds.
"Without you, we wouldn't be able to provide this kind of education, and there definitely wouldn't be this kind of funding. The success of these programs do not start or end with me, even though I'm the one who implemented most of them as I studied under my father. No, these programs start and end with you, the people of this great country. Together we can affect change, I believe that whole-heartedly. And as you dig into your purses and wa
llets tonight, please know that your donation makes a difference, not only to us, but to the rest of the world. Thank you."
I stand, along with everyone else as he shakes hands with other dignitaries, before walking back to where I'm seated at our table. "You did very well up there," I whisper as he takes a seat next to me, before leaning over to kiss him on the cheek.
People are watching us, I can sense it, trying to see how we act in public. There are still murmurs going around that Tristan and I don’t like each other. Every time there’s an arranged marriage for the crown, there’s got to be some sort of cheating behind it.
The secret I have – that we both like each other – is the best secret I’ve had in years.
"I concentrated on you the entire time, I hate getting up in front of people and speaking."
"There's no way anyone could tell that about you."
He takes a sip of the scotch they've placed in front of him. "One of the many things I've learned to do well over the years."
The night goes on, people stopping by our table to congratulate Tristan and I on our upcoming nuptials. Some stop to speak to him about foreign policy, their wives speak to me about dinners I should be attending, but never once does he leave my side. Anytime I reach over to grab his thigh, he's there, squeezing my hand and telling me it's okay. I'm so nervous I don't eat most of the dinner, but when dessert comes it's a chocolate fudge cake with ice cream.
"Would you like some?" Tristan asks.
His voice is deep, dark, and just for me as he leans close enough so that I can hear him over the rumble of the ballroom.
"Yes." I nod. "It’s my favorite."
He grins, “I know, I asked they bring it to you especially."
It's then that I look around at all the other plates, noticing they have a different dessert. We're the only ones with the one I prefer. The way my mood surges at this is almost stupid. The way it makes me feel that he decided to do something nice for me, is out of this world. Small things matter the most, and this is one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for me. “You shouldn't have, but I'm glad you did."
Royal Rebel: A Royal Romance (The Haldonia Monarchy Book 1) Page 11