by Edina Davis
The Book
How much family pressure can a human being endure before their mind suffers serious damage?
Seaford … a small town in East Sussex, on England’s south coast. The twin sisters Carolyn and Carina Harris are born here in the early sixties.
From the beginning of their childhood, quiet Carolyn is over-shadowed by her selfish sister, who is smothered with love by their mother. Carolyn feels unloved and rebuffed.
The mother’s unfairness, the sister’s malicious humiliations and the father’s ignorance cause childish jealousy to grow into bitter hatred.
When Carolyn falls in love with Ben, scheming Carina makes plans to destroy the tender love affair.
This leads to a fatal confrontation between the sisters and from then on Carolyn is tortured by horrendous nightmares every night.
Shortly thereafter a disaster happens, and Carolyn’s night-mares become cruel reality …
The Author
Edina Davis lives in a small town in the German Ruhr region together with her husband David, an English musician.
She has loved the written word from early childhood on and already put small stories and poems to paper as a teenager.
After she met her husband, she composed and wrote some songs in English.
Her second home, Seaford in East Sussex, is also the location of her novel.
Edina Davis
CARRY
AND
CARRIE
In the Twin’s Shadow
Translation
Heike Wolf
For my husband David,
who encouraged me to write this book,
for my son Markus and for my mother.
We are each our own devil,
and we make this world our hell.
Oscar Wilde
PROLOGUE
She was standing under the shower when the phone rang. Her slim body turned languorously under the tingling gush of hot water. The thick golden brown hair, which usually fell far below her shoulders in soft waves, was now covered with a foamy white crown. She was a pretty young woman of thirty-one. Her dainty face, clearly dominated by the large brown eyes, always appeared a little too serious. The slim nose fitted well with the full mouth, which, when one looked closely, was pressed to a thin line of bitterness.
When the answering machine switched on and she could hear her mother’s excited voice over the gushing water, she furrowed her brow with displeasure. She had been looking forward to this weekend so much, had no less than longed for it. Everything would soon change for her, her whole life, which would finally get a purpose again! In this life however there was no room for her mother, with whom she had severed all contact almost an eternity ago.
Her ambivalent feelings toward her mother went back to her early childhood. The loveless and unfair treatment in her parental home had burned itself deep into her soul irrevocably and had left a mark on her for the rest of her life.
It had always been more important for her father, whom she had loved dearly as a little girl, to please his wife rather than to stand up for his neglected daughter. He had also seldom supported her, had also let her down, and her love for him had died to only leave contempt …
She jumped out of the shower with a quiet curse on her lips, grabbed a towel from the hook and ran to the phone in the living room. She quickly picked up the receiver, and with a clear ironic undertone asked: “Mother, to what do I owe the honour? When you call me early in the morning after ten years, and your voice sounds as if the end of the world is near, it has to be something serious. What is the matter?”
“How good that you’re home!” her mother stuttered. She hesitated for a second and then continued: “Something absolutely horrible happened. You can’t imagine!” She let out a deep sigh. “Oh, your poor sister! I still can’t believe it.”
Her face hardened immediately, and her eyes took on a cold sheen.
That is just typical! Nothing changed in all these years. It’s still all about her!
“What has she done now, Mother? And what on earth do I have to do with it?” she asked with a sinister smile on her lips.
With a quivering voice her mother recounted what had happened and then started sobbing loudly.
The things she had just heard were so inconceivable and atrocious that she stood transfixed with horror. Her head was starting to spin. Her forehead broke into a sweat, and colourful flashes danced in front of her eyes.
“Why don’t you say something?” her mother wailed.
But she was paralysed with shock and close to losing consciousness …
PART ONE
CHAPTER 1
The twin sisters, Carolyn and Carina were born as daughters of Deborah and Philipp Harris on a hot summer’s day in Seaford, a small town in East Sussex, on England’s south coast. The family’s house was close to a picturesque valley, Cradle Valley. This valley puts a special spell on little Carolyn when she saw it for the first time at the age of three during one of the Sunday walks family Harris were in the habit of taking every week. The little girl felt as if she had entered the fairyland from the stories her father read to her and her sister in the evenings.
Overwhelmed by the magnificent blaze of colour, she walked at her father’s hand along the narrow, ivy-covered paths, through meadows and fields, and was fascinated by an ocean of yellow buttercups which shimmered like gold in the sun. She could not get enough of looking at the blazingly blue violets, the multi-coloured orchids, the hazel bushes and the delightfully fragrant lilac trees, whose dewy blossoms glittered in the morning sun.
When she then saw the many rare butterflies fluttering from flower to flower in their splendid, iridescent colours, there was no holding her back. The normally quiet little creature freed herself from her father’s hand and ran after the butterflies, laughing and trying to catch them. She stretched out her little arms, jumped up high and squeaked with pleasure.
From this day on Carolyn loved Cradle Valley, and later it became a special refuge for her, her very own fairyland.
The twins knew from their father’s stories that their parents had also been born in Seaford and had attended school there together. Deborah Foster, called Debbie, and Philipp Harris had been inseparable right from the beginning, and had known at an early stage that they would get married one day.
Their father often told his daughters about his first meeting with his Debbie, that charming little girl he’d fallen in love with at first sight as a seven-year-old boy. He went into raptures regularly when talking about his Debbie and about how pretty she had been even then. Sometimes he took a worn photograph from an old box, a cute little girl with long blonde hair, fair skin, and a freckled button nose. The prettiest feature in the small, round face was undoubtedly the heart-shaped mouth with its full, finely curved lips and strong white teeth. The girl had an exceptionally beaming smile, which was clearly recognisable even on the old black and white photo.
“Even back in school your mother enchanted me with her unique smile,” Philipp Harris raved more than once, and his thoughts wandered back regularly to the day when he had seen this smile for the very first time.
CHAPTER 2
He was in third grade when he noticed the shy little girl with the long golden blonde plaits. She was one of the new first formers who had just started school and stood completely alone in the middle of the school yard, a sandwich in her hand. The glance from her beaming blue eyes with long, fair lashes, which landed on him completely by chance, seemed strangely lost. The seven-year-old boy immediately felt that he had to protect this seemingly helpless creature
. He addressed the little one after school and shyly asked whether he could carry her books. And then he saw this smile for the first time … this beaming smile. It seemed to the boy as if the sun were slowly rising above a blue horizon, until it was high in the summer sky, in full glory, warming him with its rays. He stared at the little girl admiringly for such a long time that she lowered her head.
Debbie felt similarly. Never in her short life had she liked a boy’s appearance as much as this one. He had a slim face and curly golden brown hair. The brown eyes were framed by thick black lashes, and the dark eyebrows added something profound, mysterious to his eyes. The somewhat fuller lower lip made the mouth appear soft and sensitive.
The little girl said shyly: “My name is Debbie Foster, and yours?”
“My name is Phil … Philipp Harris,” the boy stuttered, bashful.
“Then you may now carry my books, Phil,” little Debbie said and once more her face was beaming when she smiled at him. From this fateful moment on the two children spent every free minute together. They were inseparable and this did not change even when they grew into teenagers.
Philipp was by far the most attractive boy in the whole school and all the girls were crazy about him. Philipp however only had eyes for his Debbie, so he never noticed the other girls’ interest in him.
He left school at the age of sixteen and started an apprenticeship as a car mechanic at his father’s garage. Then he continued his training as a master mechanic, and after he passed the exam he was made partner of the business. Matthew and Emily Harris were very proud of their only son and Matthew planned to sign his garage over to Philipp even before his death.
Debbie trained to become a chemist in a small chemist’s in Eastbourne and eagerly put money aside for her dowry. Her mother, Helen Foster, had been widowed many years ago and only received a small pension. Therefore, she could not add much to her daughter’s dowry.
Debbie and Philipp were very determined and put each earned penny aside. They wanted to get married and start a family as soon as possible.
CHAPTER 3
On a sunny day in late summer, the two enamoured young couple finally achieved their goal. They exchanged vows in Seaford’s St. Leonards Church and moved into a nice two-storied house on the edge of town, which they had bought a year before.
The house featured a small front garden with a driveway to an attached garage. The ground floor contained a spacious living room with an open Victorian style fireplace, a kitchen with direct connection to the dining room and a large bedroom with an ensuite bathroom.
The upper floor consisted of two rooms and a bathroom. One of the rooms was huge and had two windows, so that it could be divided into two spacious children’s rooms. The smaller room was used as a guest room but was large enough to be turned into another children’s room should the need arise.
A vast terrace spanned the whole width of the house. The garden mainly consisted of a well-tended lawn. There was a small pond in the middle of the garden, next to which stood an apple tree with strangely crooked branches resembling yearningly spread arms of a bride running towards her groom. A lush currant bush grew in the back part of the garden and on the right side it featured a high rose bush with white roses.
Debbie and Philipp Harris were incredibly proud of their dream home with the beautiful large garden, for which they had saved up such a long time. Philipp’s parents had helped them out a little financially, otherwise it would have proved to be difficult for them. In addition, Matthew and Emily Harris had financed the whole house’s tasteful furnishing as a wedding gift for the young couple.
The enamoured young couple was especially impressed by the open fireplace so much, that they had hardly been able to wait for winter to finally come.
When they made themselves comfortable on the large bearskin with a glass of wine for the first time on a frosty winter evening, they felt as if they were on cloud nine. Debbie and Philipp experienced a seemingly unceasing honeymoon and Philipp fulfilled her every wish. He called her by the strangest, often ridiculous sounding pet names, such as Debbie-Dearie, Debbie-Poppet, Debbie-Lambkin and so on. He simply never seemed to run out of ideas for new terms of endearment.
The young couple’s bliss was complete when Debbie gave birth to identical twins the following July. In the whole town there was no father prouder than Philipp when he saw his two little daughters for the first time. As his Debbie gained a few extra pounds on her hips after the girls’ birth, he then sometimes also called her Debbie-Dumpling.
“You know, my Debbie-Dumpling,” he once said while casting a loving glance on her rounded buttocks, “you now appeal to me almost even more than before.”
He kissed her tenderly and Debbie was jolly glad not to have to torment herself with any annoying diets, which would yield no results anyway.
CHAPTER 4
The twins Carolyn and Carina resembled their father with their large brown eyes and golden brown curly hair. Both girls could hardly be distinguished from each other in appearance but were extremely different in character. Little Carina was a very lively child who frolicked around from dawn till dusk and whose cheerful laughter and squealing could be heard all around the house. Even as a very small girl she was just as vain as Debbie Harris. Once, when she was just two and a half and each of the twins had been given a new Sunday dress, she stood in front of the mirror, turning to and fro smugly. She never tired of looking at her own reflection in the mirror.
“Mummy, look how pwetty I am,” her bright voice chirped.
“Yes, my deary, you truly look adorable,” Debbie Harris said in a purring voice and then turned to her husband: “Isn’t that so, Phil? She is an absolute ray of sunshine.”
Little Carolyn stood by quietly and watched the scene. She was also wearing the new dress. Did she not also look adorable in it?
So, Carolyn learned from an early age that everything in her parents’ house revolved around her sister Carina, who constantly kept their mother on her feet. Her mother could not leave the girl out of her sight for even a minute without her getting up to something. She might pour the shower gel onto the floor in the bathroom to slide through the bathroom on her bottom, squealing happily, or she might spread flour on the kitchen floor, mixing it with water to bake a cake! When her mother told her off, the little girl smiled at her, put her little arms around her neck and gave her a smooch on the mouth.
“Don’t be angwy, Mummy. Wanted bake cake for you!”
Debbie Harris then was so enraptured by the little creature’s charm that she couldn’t be angry at her anymore.
Little Carolyn was her sister’s complete opposite. She had inherited her father’s character, was quiet and obedient and often played alone in a corner for hours. Her mother never had to tell her anything twice. Whether it was about tidying up toys, washing her hands before meals or brushing her teeth, Carolyn always obeyed promptly. When friends visited the family, Carolyn politely shook their hands, but then withdrew herself without having to be asked to, so that the adults could talk undisturbed.
Carina on the other hand didn’t dream of withdrawing herself. She came running as soon as the adults had made themselves comfortable in the living room. She planted herself in front of one of the visitors, put her hands on her hips and with an impish smile asked: “Did you bwing me a present?”
She then very boldly often climbed upon a male visitor’s lap and merrily chatted away.
“Play with me?” she asked with her cute smile and hardly anyone was immune to the little girl’s charm. Carina took all hearts by storm and was a star for the remainder of the evening. The adults enjoyed the little girl’s presence and the little one enjoyed being the centre of attention. Nobody seemed to notice little Carolyn, who sat quietly in a corner and watched everything with a strange expression in her eyes.
Only Melissa and Jason Thompson, best friends and neighbours, preferred Carolyn ri
ght away. They thought Carina was spoiled beyond all measure, especially by Debbie, and they felt sorry for Carolyn. Melissa, who had attended school with Debbie, intended to mention it to her friend. It wasn’t easy for her to find the right words as she knew that Debbie seldom handle criticism well. Melissa had seen her getting very furious with Helen Foster, her own mother, when the latter had occasionally dared to question her parenting.
Therefore, Melissa needed a few attempts before finally finding the courage to talk with her friend. She felt it was her duty … yes, that she owed it to their long friendship.
Therefore, when the two women sat in Debbie’s kitchen one day, drinking coffee together, she gathered up all her courage and said: “Debbie, well, I noticed a few times now that everything revolves around Carina for you. I have the feeling that you favour her, and that Carolyn suffers a lot over that.”
While she was speaking, Melissa had kept her glance fixed on her coffee cup. Now she looked up and was startled. Debbie’s eyes flashed.
“That’s a damn lie, Melissa Thompson! Take that back immediately,” she called out, her voice nearly cracking.
Even though Melissa was deeply shocked by this reaction she said with a firm voice: “No, I won’t take that back, Debbie. And you know very well that it isn’t a lie, or you wouldn’t react so strongly. Your own mother and even Philipp’s parents drew your attention to it a few times already, didn’t they?”
Debbie didn’t reply but stubbornly looked past Melissa at the wall. Her fingers drummed nervously on the table, which was a sign that she was extremely agitated.
“I just mean well, Debbie, because I don’t want you to end up having to reproach yourself for neglecting Carolyn. I also don’t want her turning away from you one day. But I’m also thinking about Carolyn! You can’t want her growing up with the feeling that she is less loved than her sister. Do you even know what this can do to a young person?”