“I can’t promise anything, but I’ll try to make it home before the morning.”
Lifting two fingers to his forehead, he pulled them away in a quick salute before leaving. Once he was gone, I logged back into my computer and navigated to my travel agent’s website. An island getaway for Christmas wasn’t the worst idea I’d ever had, so I figured I’d look into it for real.
There were a ton of options available, each resort looking more luxurious and tropical than the last. Pictures of white sandy beaches, palm trees swaying in a breeze and glasses of beer or cocktails with condensation on the sides filled my screen. It was tempting to pull the trigger on any one of the packages, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it.
Every time I imagined arriving in paradise, alone and surrounded by happy couples and families, I wanted to punch something. I scrolled through offer after offer, but I couldn’t get over the fact that I’d be going to all of them by myself.
Being alone appealed to me most of the time. At the office, I was constantly surrounded by people and noise. Getting away from it all was the only way I could really relax, but going away by myself for Christmas just seemed a little sad.
Carl obviously wouldn’t be able to join me on this trip, but I had a few other friends I could try. A lot of them would have family obligations, but there were one or two who might be up for a guys’ trip over the holidays.
Eventually, after about half an hour of web surfing, I gave up and went home. My head wasn’t on work anymore, and I knew it would be useless to try diving in with my current mindset. There was nothing super urgent left on my desk anyway. Everything else could wait until tomorrow.
My house felt strangely empty when I arrived. I walked in, flicking on the lights as I went, and for the first time in a long time, it was depressing that it was so dark and quiet when I got here.
The place was one I’d bought after my divorce. It was a free-standing, five-bedroom house with six bathrooms, a gym, a wine cellar, a backyard the size of a football field, and a sparkling swimming pool I hardly ever used.
An interior decorator had come in and furnished the place from top to bottom while I’d been away on a month-long celebration after the divorce was finalized. When I’d gotten back, I walked into an ultra-modern bachelor pad outfitted with state-of-the-art everything.
It had been a rush until I realized how impersonal it all was. My furniture was metal and glass, the color scheme gray, black, and very muted blues here and there. Art I’d paid a fortune for covered my walls, but I didn’t even know who it had been done by.
A massive flat-screen TV was mounted on the wall in my living room, and I turned it on before shedding my clothes right there. Clad in nothing but my boxer-briefs and socks, I ambled to the kitchen to grab a beer.
After channel surfing for a few minutes without finding anything that caught my interest, I tried to find something else to amuse myself with but nothing did the trick. Why am I feeling so out of sorts tonight?
My mind kept venturing back to Victoria and how callously I’d fired her. As I sat in my game room, staring at a pool table that had failed to tickle my fancy this evening, I replayed her interview over and over again in my head.
Her answer to my question had been naïve, sure, but she was intelligent and not afraid to stand up for her ideas. That was worth something. Wasn’t it?
In the end, though, it was for the best that she wasn’t working there anymore. If she were around tempting me every time I went to visit my new acquisition, it would only end badly.
I’d saved myself some trouble by firing her. She affected me in too many ways for it to have been a good thing that she would always have been around.
Regardless of what I told myself though, I still didn’t feel good about what had happened and how it had gone down. Blowing out a long breath, I grabbed my beer and decided to give the TV another shot.
I had hundreds of channels. Surely, I had to be able to find something that would take that woman off my mind. I just had to get the fuck over it and move on with my life. I hadn’t come this far just to get here, and my guilt about Victoria Mitchell wasn’t going to stop me from going even further.
Chapter 11
TORI
It had been four days, six hours, and thirty-two minutes since Benny Boy had chucked me out on my ass. My emotions were still all over the place, and I suddenly had a lot more sympathy for pregnant people. All it took to make me burst into tears was one video on social media of a dad getting his car back or something. Two minutes later, I’d be laughing hysterically at something else and couldn’t for the life of me imagine that I’d been bawling such a short time ago.
I fluctuated between rage, relief, frustration, fear, and sometimes even these strangely blissful moments of joy that I wouldn’t be stuck working with that asshole. The severance package I’d walked out the door with was generous, allowing me some time to mope around my apartment, but it wouldn’t last forever.
A recruitment specialist I’d contacted on day two had told me that the labor market in town was very competitive, but that she would keep me in mind if she heard about something. It hadn’t exactly been an encouraging phone call.
I had to find something to keep my bank account in the black, but so far, I didn’t have much luck. Apart from the phone call and a few internet searches though, I also hadn’t done very much to increase my odds.
My laptop was open on the kitchen counter in front me, stupid videos playing while I sipped my coffee and chuckled at a goat who had somehow ended up on a trampoline. Kari suddenly appeared in the doorway, her hands on her hips as she pursed her lips at me.
“Did you really spend all day in your pajamas again?” She lifted her finger to chastise me properly. “Seriously, Tori? Sulking isn’t a good look on you. Have you even showered? Because it smells kind of funny in here.”
“Why would I shower or change out of my pajamas?” I asked after hitting pause on my computer. That poor goat was hilarious. “There’s no point. It’d only be a waste of water and perfectly good, clean clothes.”
“The point is to remain a functioning member of society,” she countered. “And also not to choke me with your stink.”
“No one’s going to hire me until at least January, and it’s only the week before Christmas. Give me a break. I promise I’ll be hygienic again in the new year. I’ll make it a resolution and everything.”
“Yeah, because new year’s resolutions are always kept to.” She snorted, sighing before she threw her hands up in frustration. “Go shower. We should at least get you out of the house today. Maybe it’ll be a nice reminder that there is still a whole wide world out there.”
I opened my mouth to argue, but she cut me off by slashing her hand through the air. “I don’t want to hear it. I feel for you, but this is just getting ridiculous. Up. Up. Up. You can use my special-occasion shampoo.”
Perking up at the mention of the expensive bottle of stuff she’d been given by a co-worker as a birthday present, I peeked at my hair hanging over my shoulder before cringing. “I might need it to get rid of this mess.”
“That’s why I offered.” She shrugged, then raised her arm and jabbed a finger in the direction of the bathroom. “Go. When you’re done, we’ll go to the mall to do some Christmas shopping.”
“What time is your shift?” I asked, figuring it was pointless to remind her that I couldn’t really afford to go shopping right now.
She frowned at me, arching a perfectly plucked bow. “It was six hours ago. I’m done for the day. Have you really not even bothered to check the time?”
I hopped off the stool I’d been sitting on, ignoring her question since I didn’t want to admit that I hadn’t even been awake for six hours yet. “I’ll go shower, but think long and hard about what you want for Christmas from me this year. You only get to pick one thing and it’s got to be cheap.”
“I’ll settle for something long and hard that you don’t need to pay for.” She wagged her
eyebrows. “Just be sure to chat a guy up for me who believes in the value of apologies by jewelry and who’s at least reasonably well endowed. Just hard doesn’t really do it for me. It’s got to be long too.”
I rolled my eyes at her. “How about I just buy you a vibrator with fake jewels around the base?”
“Make sure it’s a good one and buy batteries too, and I might just take the deal,” she called after me when I flounced out of the kitchen and headed to the bathroom.
I laughed until I remembered I couldn’t afford anything good at the moment. In fact, I probably shouldn’t even be buying the darn batteries.
As we shopped, I kept worrying and grumbling about it. “I should be saving the money I’m spending. Who knows how long it’s going to take before I find something else?”
My sister, ever the optimist, swatted me on the arm and then pulled me to a stop. “It’s Christmas. No one should be this unhappy at Christmas. You’ll land on your feet. You always do. For now, why not at least try to get into the spirit of the season?”
“I’ll give it my best shot,” I vowed, if only to make her happy.
Twenty minutes later, Kari shot me yet another frustrated look. “Your best shot sucks. You’ve been a downer every time I ask your opinion about a gift.”
“It’s not my fault all the gifts you’ve asked my opinion about have been less than desirable.” I ticked the reasons off on my fingers. “A body spray gift pack for Eliot? Everyone knows that if you receive body spray as a gift, it’s because the person giving it thinks you smell bad.”
“I don’t think he smells bad. I told you why I was looking at it. It’s nice to have options in the morning. You could be feeling playful or you might be feeling more serious.”
“What does playful smell like?”
She paused. “Fruity and light. Serious smells like musk.”
“So does sweat,” I said. “It’s up to you if you want to get it for him. I’m just saying he’s going to think that you think he smells bad.”
“And I’m just saying you need to lighten up a bit,” she mused as she browsed the shelf full of dolls we were at. She picked one up. “Do you think Ally’s daughter will like this one?”
“Nope. It looks like Chucky’s eviler mistress.” I shuddered at the unnatural, red-painted smile the doll was giving me. “Unless you don’t like Ally or her daughter. In that case, get it. She probably won’t be working with you much longer if she has that thing in her house.”
Kari placed the doll back so fast it was like it had bitten her with its sharp little porcelain teeth. “You’re such a darn downer. I should’ve just come by myself.”
“Ally will thank you for bringing me,” I said solemnly. “Who else are you looking to buy a gift for?”
“Well, not you anymore,” she retorted, taking off down the aisle. She stopped at a selection of candlesticks, apparently forgetting that she didn’t want my opinion since she asked, “Do you think Aunt Maggie would like these?”
“All the better to clobber Uncle Max over the head with,” I replied.
Kari looked like she was considering clobbering me over the head with one before she shook her head. “Maybe we should go get something to eat. Do you think Asian food will improve your mood?”
“Possibly.” The only thing I’d really eaten the last few days had been junk food. “It’s definitely worth a try.”
We went to the food court where we got teriyaki chicken and rice before finding seats. I poked mine around my plate and wondered how I’d let my sister convince me to come to the mall so close to Christmas. It was complete and total chaos around here. I seriously wasn’t in a place where my mental fortitude was of such a nature that I felt up to dealing with it.
Screaming children everywhere, distracted families, and people on their phones not looking where they were walking. It was a nightmare.
Suddenly, music started blaring from nearby. My head jerked up to see what was going on, and my gaze landed on an attractive woman dressed in a tight red and white striped body suit. It had long sleeves and covered her to her ankles, but it was skin tight. There’s no way she’s even able to wear panties in that thing.
She carried a giant candy cane with her, smiling radiantly as she approached a couple seated a few tables away from ours. I expected the girl to freak out, but she was just about bouncing in her seat with excitement when the woman tapped her boyfriend on the shoulder.
He sat there, frozen in place with his eyes as wide as they could go, staring as the woman began dancing along to the music. It was a sensual dance, but it wasn’t over the top sexual.
A crowd gathered around to watch, but the woman didn’t seem to mind. If anything, it appeared like she enjoyed the audience and threw a little extra pep into her performance when she noticed it.
When the music ended, the crowd clapped and the dancer did a little curtsy before handing over the candy cane. I was transfixed by the whole situation, more curious than I ever would’ve admitted about the woman’s job.
The man she’d danced for was as red as the stripes in his candy cane, but the girl beside him was clapping and cheering louder than anyone else. It was quite clear that she was the one who had hired the woman, and she must’ve been satisfied with the performance because she handed over a twenty-dollar bill as a tip.
Waving at the crowd after exchanging a few words with the couple, the dancer blew a few kisses with her free hand and then left. Presumably, she was heading off to perform elsewhere since she checked her phone as she walked away before picking up her pace.
“See, that’s not so bad,” Kari said enthusiastically from where she was sitting on the other side of our table. “And she got a cash tip for a two-minute dance. If it was even two minutes. It felt shorter than that.”
For the first time since she’d mentioned the candy dancing thing to me, I was coming around to my sister’s way of thinking. That really hadn’t looked so bad. The dancer herself had seemed to be having a blast, and the couple was laughing and chatting to a few members of the crowd who approached them.
Maybe I really could dance for a few weeks. Just until the new year. If I did, I wouldn’t have to run through my severance and I’d probably even be able to afford a few gifts of my own.
Hope swelled deep within me. I’d been so sure that I’d be unemployed for at least another month or so that I’d been too dejected to even think seriously about candy dancing.
“I agree,” I found myself telling my sister. “I think I’ll give that place a call. Knowing my luck, I probably won’t even be hired, but if I am, I’ll have something to keep me busy until a real position pans out.”
Kari let out a soft whoop, wiggling her fingers in what I assumed was supposed to be a victory jiggle. “I knew you’d come around. You’re going to be great, Tori. Watch this space. I’m telling you, this is going to be the best decision you’ve ever made.”
That remained to be seen, but what was the worst that could happen. Right?
Chapter 12
BEN
Scowling when I hit the sidewalk as I left my lawyer’s office downtown, I stormed to the vehicle I had waiting for me and slammed the door once I was inside. The SUV was nice and warm, unlike the snowy, cold day outside, but the comfortable interior still didn’t defrost the layer of ice that had just formed around my heart again.
The driver started in the direction of my house, but I was mostly blind to the Christmas lights and decorations lining the streets outside. I definitely wasn’t feeling the festive spirit after that fucking meeting.
Nic’s latest demands were excessive, but her legal team had apparently managed to find a friendly judge who was willing to hear her arguments as to why the pre-nup had to be voided. It was ludicrous. We were already divorced and had been for years. Surely, there had to be a point at which all this malicious, vexatious litigation had to end and yet, I was about to go back to court to face my ex-wife.
The thought really wasn’t something I relis
hed. I honestly couldn’t believe that I wasn’t rid of Nic and her conniving ways yet. There was no way she could have a case, but she’d still somehow managed to find some poor sap willing to hear her out.
My lawyers were positive that they had convincing arguments to win, but obviously, those arguments still needed to go to court to be heard. It seemed there was no way of squashing this waste of time and money before it even went that far.
Horns honking madly around us drew me out of my thoughts. My SUV was ensnared in traffic around the Winterfest in downtown Hartford. I swore quietly under my breath, aware of the fact that my driver and I had apparently both forgotten that it was almost Christmas.
The crowds were out in full force, skating at the outdoor ice-skating rink and buying treats from holiday themed food trucks parked all around. Several streets had been closed, and we were stopped in the traffic jam caused by the crowds and closures.
My driver glanced at me in the rearview mirror. “I’m sorry about this, sir. All the alternative routes appear to be just as clogged up.”
He motioned at the SUV’s navigation system, which showed all the streets around us lit in a sea of red. I sighed. “It’s okay, Dane. Just get me home as soon as possible, okay?”
“Yes, sir.” A man of few words, just like I preferred my drivers to be, he returned his attention to the road and didn’t say anything else.
While I usually preferred to be left alone during the commute, today it left me with nothing but my thoughts or staring out at the crowd of families out and about. I honestly didn’t know which was worse.
My thoughts were focused on my annoyance and frustration about Nic and the upcoming court date, but watching all the happy families skating around was almost worse. Everyone looked so joyful, relaxed, and excited that it made me feel like a lonely mess of a voyeur peeking in on something I would never have.
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