“I used to like my mom’s,” she whispered.
I reached out and took her hand over the table. “Don’t hesitate to talk to me about your mother. I know she was important to you, and I want to hear about her.” She visibly relaxed.
I noticed Maria making her way to our table. “I want you to order for yourself, Brianna.” I saw her tense once again. “You’ve done it before, and I’m right here with you.”
She made it through ordering much better than she had at her first attempt. Brianna was still fighting her nerves, but she was winning. That was very good.
Dinner was pleasant. I even got her to laugh a little when I told her a story about Lily.
The food was wonderful, but I wouldn’t have expected less. I offered her a bite of my cannelloni. It might not have been the right thing to do, as watching her lips wrap around my fork sent sensations to areas of my body that I was desperately trying to keep repressed.
I wasn’t ready to go home after dinner, so I took a detour to a park a few blocks away. The night was warm, and it wasn’t raining. There wasn’t much more that you could ask of this time of year. It was still light out so there were people walking, kids playing. If it bothered Brianna, she didn’t show it. I held her hand as we walked. There was nothing about this that felt wrong.
She talked a little more about her mom and about her dog, Rusty. It seemed as though she’d had a normal childhood until her mom had gotten sick. I wanted to know more about her father, but she seemed so relaxed by the time we headed back that I didn’t want to bring it up.
It was after nine when we arrived at my condo. I followed her into her room. She walked over to her nightstand, picked up her journal, and handed it to me. I opened it, and flipped through the pages as she went to her dresser to get something for bed.
She’d written more both yesterday and today. After leaving her hanging yesterday, I could feel the tension in her writing. She wanted to get closer, but she was still so scared.
Today’s entry was less emotional, but still filled with her feelings regarding me. Confusion again seemed to be the prevailing one; however, safe, warm, and fearful seemed to be following close behind.
Although I would probably never fully understand what she had gone through, I knew without a doubt that she didn’t want to be that scared little girl anymore. Everything she was telling me, showing me, confirmed that.
I placed the journal back in its place and turned to find her sitting on the bed, the tank top and shorts still sitting folded beside her.
With deliberate steps, I walked to stand in front of her. My hand came up to cup her chin and raised it. There was such a mixture of emotion on her face, just like in her journal. I released her and took a step back.
“Stand up, Brianna.” She did. “Turn around and face away from me.” Again, she did as instructed.
I stepped closer and took the clips from her hair. The newly released locks tumbled down into their rightful places on her shoulders. I grazed my fingers along the soft skin where the hairs now touched before following the outside of her dress until I reached the zipper. Watching her closely, I made sure I wasn’t going too fast for her. She was doing well, and appeared to be okay.
With a gentle tug, I began slowly lowering the zipper, making sure that the back of my knuckle brushed against her spine all the way down. A narrow V of flesh showed down her back with only a hint of bra halfway down and red panties visible at the bottom. Even with the scars marring her skin, there was no way for my body not to react to that sight.
The tips of my fingers ran up her sides, causing her to shudder a little. I wasn’t sure if it was from excitement, nerves, or if she was just ticklish. I paused for an extra-long moment when I reached the top of her dress before pushing it off her shoulders. Material slid down her body and pooled at her feet, leaving her clad only in her underwear.
I leaned down and placed a soft kiss to the top of each shoulder, and then reached between us to unfasten her bra. With a little assistance the straps fell, giving me the amazing view of the tops of her naked breasts.
My hands went to her waist. Her panties were simple. They were red satin with just a little lace around the edges. My fingers slipped just under the edge of the lace at the top, lingering just enough to tease her.
She was responding very, very well. Not once had she tensed in fear, but I asked anyway. “Are you all right, Brianna?”
“Yes,” she whispered, and it was huskier than normal.
I smiled against her shoulder. “Good.”
Removing my fingers from inside the satin, I began doing the same along the outside of the lace. At first, I stayed at the top, just as I had on the inside. Then I started tracing the outside edges starting in the back.
This time, she tensed. “Shhh, Brianna. It will be good, I promise.” I gave her a minute to register this. “Do you want me to stop?”
She shook her head and squeezed out a no.
“All right. Just relax. Remember you’re safe with me.”
All through the conversation, my fingers had not stopped brushing over the smooth round flesh of her backside. I kept them there until I felt her relax again. Then, I started to move them with a slightly more deliberate purpose.
I slid my fingers down to the junction of her legs still following the lace. I felt her tense momentarily before willing herself to relax. “Good girl,” I whispered and placed another kiss on her shoulder. “Now spread your legs a little for me.” She complied and I began the plan that had formed in my mind.
Ever so slowly, I began to draw small circles. For the most part, I stayed on the edges with the lace, but every now and then, I would divert from my path and place a circle farther in.
I continued this pattern as I watched her body start to respond. She was taking deeper breaths, and I began to feel the moisture under my fingertips. “Do you like this, Brianna? Does it feel good?”
“Yes,” she breathed.
“One day, I will make you feel better than you’ve ever felt before,” I promised as my finger moved forward and I placed a deliberate circle directly over her clit.
She gasped.
I pressed again a little firmer. “Is that something you want, Brianna?”
“Yes.”
Brianna was leaning back against me now. I don’t think she even knew she was doing it. She was totally lost in the sensations I was giving her.
“That’s a good thing. I want you to think about that tonight when you’re in your bed. I want you to think about how my fingers felt on you. And I want you to tell me if tomorrow night you would like for me to do the same thing except without the barrier of your panties,” I whispered in her ear.
With that, I removed my hands and brought them back up to her waist. I pushed her panties down her legs to join her dress and turned her around. Her face was flushed, her chest moving up and down at a more rapid pace than was normal.
I took her face in my hands and gave her a long, slow kiss, enjoying the feel of her lips and tongue. Brianna kissed me back without hesitation. It was amazing to see how far we’d come.
I released her mouth and looked down at our bodies standing together; hers naked, mine completely clothed. She was beautiful, and I told her so. “I do hope you give me the honor of truly worshipping your body one day.”
She didn’t respond outside of her blush deepening. I wasn’t sure if she would ever truly be able to take a compliment regarding her body, but it was something we were going to work on. Brianna was the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen, naked or clothed.
I helped her put her bedclothes on and tucked her in, reminding her of what I’d said. Then I headed to my own room.
It was after ten, and I was in desperate need of a shower.
Stripping out of the suit I still wore, I walked into my bathroom and turned on the spray. The water hit my naked body, but it didn’t ease the tension. Only one thing could do that.
I reached for the soap and lathered up my hands bef
ore reaching down and taking a firm hold. It was only as I was coming down from my climax that I recalled what I’d said to her earlier in the day when I’d come home. I’d told Brianna I loved her, and she hadn’t even noticed.
Stephan
It was a restless night’s sleep for me. Even though I’d gotten release in the shower before going to bed, my mind had quickly floated back to Brianna and what had happened between us.
At just after two in the morning, I’d awoken from a fitful sleep thinking only of her. I’d walked next door to her room to check on her. She was beautiful with her hair lying tangled on her pillows. Her legs twisted in her sheets where she’d obviously been tossing and turning. From the looks of it, she was not having a completely peaceful night herself. Of course, I really hadn’t planned for her to.
She hadn’t woken while I was in her room, so eventually I went back to my own bed in hope of a good night’s sleep. It wasn’t easy. My mind kept replaying the evening in vivid detail, and my body liked the images just as much as it had the first time. I refused to give in, however. One session of self-pleasure a night was all I was allowing myself. I did manage to get a little sleep, but it was taken in short naps rather than one long, deep rest.
Brianna was in the kitchen making breakfast when I strolled into the main room of our home. She was still wearing the shorts and tank top she’d worn to bed. The shorts ended just a little too low for my taste, but were loose enough to provide easy access should it be needed.
It was difficult not to think of all the things I wanted to do to her when she was like this, and totally oblivious to my presence. She was beautiful and sexy standing there cooking, and she wasn’t even trying.
Whenever I thought of her not being here with me, there was a sharp pain in my chest. That had never happened to me before. But then again, I’d never been in love with anyone. I could only hope that she felt the same way, or at least was beginning to.
We ate quietly before I picked up my briefcase and headed for the door. She followed behind.
I set my case down on the table next to my keys, and turned to face her. Brianna looked up at me, her eyes so full of emotion. I wrapped my arms around her waist to pull her closer. She melted into me and I began to wonder if she’d been nervous about my reaction to her this morning. “Are you all right, Brianna?”
“Yes,” she sighed.
“You have nothing to be nervous about. I’ll take care of you. Every part of you.”
I felt all the tension leave her as she buried her head against my chest. “I want . . . that,” she whispered.
I smiled. “I’m very glad to hear that.” I pulled back and placed a kiss on her forehead before tilting her head up. “You’ll be okay today?”
“Yes.”
“Good,” I said, leaning closer. “Now, give me a kiss before I go.”
Brianna’s lips met mine. She wasn’t hesitant. She was almost eager.
The kiss only lasted for a minute before I had to separate us. I was still worked up from last night, and as much as I loved her lips on mine, it was not helping my heightened state.
Jamie greeted me with her usual, cheerful smile when I arrived at the office. The morning was busier than usual since I had to oversee the finance department now that Karl was no longer in charge. I hoped that human resources would have some candidates for me to start interviewing next week.
Just before noon, Jamie knocked on my office door to let me know that Jimmy had arrived.
Gino’s was packed with the lunch rush when we arrived. Being a regular meant that the hostess found us a table quickly despite the crowd. It wasn’t private by any means, but as this was just a friendly lunch between old friends, I wasn’t worried. Jimmy wasn’t Daren. Just thinking of my Mentor made my anger surge. He should have told me he’d be attending the hospital dinner.
I forced myself to push my ire for Daren to the back of my mind as we took our seats. Our server came to our table almost immediately and took our drink orders. Leaning back in my seat, I enjoyed being out of the office.
Jimmy was quiet as we waited for our server to return. As was becoming normal for me, my thoughts drifted to Brianna. I wondered what she was doing with her day. Would she give me the green light to take things farther tonight, or say she wasn’t ready? Although, I was trying to prepare myself for the possibility of her wanting to slow things down, I was hoping that wasn’t the case.
My thoughts were interrupted when Jimmy asked, “What’s going on with you and Dr. Cooper?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I said as our server returned with the drinks.
It didn’t take us long to order food, and we were on our own again. I barely managed to take a sip of my water before Jimmy returned to his inquiry. “Samantha thinks you’re reliving your rebellious teenage years.”
“I’m not rebelling, Jimmy. I also don’t appreciate your wife trying to psychoanalyze me.”
He chose to ignore my comment about his wife. “I was talking to your uncle. He seems concerned about you. I know we’re not as close anymore, but if something’s wrong—”
“Nothing’s wrong,” Before he could start again, I changed the subject. “How’s your residency going so far?”
Jimmy gave me a long look, and then sighed. If he remembered nothing else from our high school years, how stubborn I could be should be burned into his brain. “Exhausting. I thought med school was grueling.”
The conversation continued along those same lines throughout our lunch. It was good seeing Jimmy again, but I wasn’t going to discuss my issues surrounding my uncle with him. He was right, we weren’t that close anymore. Even if we’d continued our friendship during our college years, I doubted this would be something I would confide in him. Not only did I think he wouldn’t understand my lifestyle, there was also Samantha. She’d never cared much for me, nor I her. The fact that she was now training to become a psychiatrist only added to the problem.
My history with psychiatrists was not good. Richard had insisted I see one about a year after my parents died. If I never met another one in my life, it would be too soon.
I walked back to the office alone and found it much like I’d left it, with only one exception. There was a bright pink note on my desk where I couldn’t possibly miss it.
Talk to your uncle. Please.
There was no signature, but I would know that handwriting anywhere. Diane didn’t like this rift in her family, and she wasn’t above begging to get what she wanted.
With a sigh, I picked up the phone and dialed my uncle’s office. His receptionist picked up the phone on the second ring. He was with a patient, of course, but I was told he only had patients scheduled until two o’clock today. After hanging up, I looked at my workload. I really shouldn’t leave early, but Diane was right. Richard and I needed to come to some sort of understanding.
It took some doing, but with Jamie’s help, I was able to delegate a couple of things to other executives. I was taking the rest home with me. Bringing my work home was not a habit I wished to start; however, it couldn’t be helped in this case. I needed to talk to my uncle, and there was no time like the present. Besides, it would make Diane happy.
His car was still in the parking lot when I pulled into a space in front of his office. There were two other vehicles in the lot besides his. One, I knew, belonged to his receptionist. It was almost a quarter after two, so I was hoping my uncle would just be finishing up with his last patient.
Janice, his receptionist, greeted me with a smile as soon as she saw me walk through the door. “I wondered if we might see you today, Stephan.”
“Hello, Janice. How have you been?”
“Good. Great, actually,” she beamed. “Would you like to see the latest pictures I have of the grandkids?” Janice didn’t wait for me to answer her. She took out two pictures from her wallet, showing them to me like any proud grandparent would.
Her daughter had married a military man, so they moved around
a lot. Last I’d heard, he’d been stationed in Florida.
“They’re growing up,” I smiled.
“I know! I can’t believe Jason will be starting school this fall. It seems like just yesterday I was with Amy and Andrew in the hospital waiting for him to be born.”
Before I could comment, my uncle walked around the corner with a middle-aged man about the same height as me. They were talking, but it didn’t appear to be serious as they were both smiling.
“Janice will get you set up for your next appointment.” He turned to look up at Janice, but paused longer than was natural when he saw me standing there. After a few seconds, he seemed to get a hold of himself again. “Can you get Mr. Thompson scheduled to come back and see us in three weeks?”
Janice nodded. Then Richard patted his patient lightly on the shoulder and motioned with his head for me to follow him.
Nothing had changed since the last time I’d followed him down this hall over a month ago when I’d brought Brianna to see him. Just remembering that night brought with it all of those protective feelings. They were so much stronger with her than they had been with anyone in the past. I wanted to get this over with and get home to her.
My uncle took a seat behind his desk. He gestured that I should take the one opposite.
No matter how old I was, sitting there took me back to being a teenager. Whenever I’d done something serious, I’d always end up in his office. He’d say he’d brought me there so as not to upset my aunt. I’d believed him at the time. Now I thought it had more to do with the air of authority sitting behind that desk gave him.
I wasn’t going to be intimidated today. “We need to talk.”
“Yes.” I waited to see if he was going to say anything else, but he remained silent.
As much as I wanted to keep him in the dark about what was happening—what had happened to Brianna—I’d come to the conclusion that he would have to know at least some of it, or else our relationship might possibly never repair itself.
“You don’t think that I’m good for Brianna because of what I am.” I let that hang in the air for a minute before continuing. “I know what Tami told you, but I’m going to tell you what I tried to tell you months ago. Everything she and I did was consensual. We had an agreement. It’s in writing if you’d like to see it. I didn’t do anything to her that she was not on board with, and it was consensual in every aspect. Including the bruising she showed you.”
Need (Finding Anna) Page 10