by Zen DiPietro
“I didn’t realize you were familiar with Japanese etiquette. Thank you.” She watched tendrils of steam curl and waft away as he poured.
“I used to deal with a Japanese trader. Very traditional fellow. I found that I got much better deals when I observed his etiquette impeccably.” He gave her a cheeky grin.
She poured his tea for him. “Funny. Not many people adhere to those traditions. Only on formal occasions back on Earth.”
“That’s what I like about what I do. I see so much variety. There’s always something new and interesting right around the corner.”
She’d always wondered about his background, and this seemed like an excellent opportunity to ask. “Do you come from a family of traders?”
“No. Believe it or not, my parents are scholars on the homeworld. They teach at university. But I knew early on that I wanted to have a front-row seat to everything going on in the galaxies. And I happened to have a knack for business that my parents never did. So here I am.”
She smiled. “Well, I’m glad. I’ve valued your friendship greatly.”
He leaned forward. “Shh. Don’t say that too loudly. If anyone asks, I’m going to tell them that I’m trying to broker a deal between you and the manufacturers of a brand-new type of security scanner. A person in my line of business doesn’t admit to making friends.” His ale-brown eyes twinkled.
“Your secret’s safe with me.” She smiled and sipped her tea, careful not to burn her mouth.
“I don’t doubt it.” He picked up a bite-sized crustacean and popped it into his mouth.
“There are a lot of secrets around here lately.” Her words were light and conversational, but she fixed him with a meaningful look.
“There are always secrets. Some are just more important to a larger number of people.”
“Should we trade secrets?” She raised her eyebrows in a challenge.
“Oh, I never trade secrets,” he said with a wave of his hand. “Bad for business.”
“I see.”
He leaned forward and whispered, “I would consider sharing a confidence with a friend, though. But I’d never pry if my friend wasn’t ready to share in return.”
“So your friend would need to speak up,” she translated.
“Of course.” He ate another crustacean.
That sounded like he had some help to offer if she asked the right question. Or prompted the right one.
She bit into her sandwich, thinking as she chewed. He probably suspected something about the recent goings-on, but would never ask her about it. Yet she couldn’t answer his question without knowing what it was.
“Is there something about recent events that has you troubled?”
His eyes gleamed. He understood that she was offering information. “Now that you mention it, I’ve been concerned about a rumor I heard. Just a rumor, mind you, but sometimes these things stick in your mind and take root. So I’ve been wondering if it’s possible that your job might be in jeopardy. You know we’d hate to lose you here.”
But he wasn’t talking about her job on Dragonfire, and they both knew it. He was asking whether she was part of what was going on with Jamestown and PAC command.
“I have absolutely no intention of leaving here. Anyone who tries to give me a new assignment will get an earful. I’ve invested a great deal in this station, and I’m going to see it through.”
In other words, yes, she was fighting against someone in PAC command and intended to take him down. She watched him to see if he understood. As coded messages went, it was pretty shrouded.
“I’m glad to hear it. As it happens, I’m owed a few favors that I could always call in, if there’s something that might be helpful to you. I’ve come to think of this station as my home, and I’d be happy to invest in it.”
She smiled. She wasn’t sure what he was capable of, but it was an interesting suggestion. “If something comes up, I’ll be sure to let you know. I appreciate the offer.”
“Least I can do, Chief. I hope I can be of service.”
She refilled his teacup and changed the subject. “After we’re done here, would you like to take a walk in the arboretum? I’d love to hear more about Rescan traditions.”
“I’d be delighted. Although, the last time we enjoyed the arboretum, it didn’t end so pleasantly.”
Understanding passed between them. He knew that the man who had attacked her was connected to what was going on with PAC command. She’d killed the man, then later found out that he was a BlackOp from a different unit. Once she’d regained her memories, she’d realized that Granite had once been her friend. She still had a lot of scores to settle, and Cabot knew it.
“All the more reason to go and have a pleasant time. We have to take the good times where we can get them.”
“Yes.” He looked sad for a moment, then shook it off with an easy smile. “A walk sounds delightful. I’ll tell you about Rescan wedding traditions. There are a few things that might surprise you.”
“I look forward to hearing about them.”
The leisurely walk through the arboretum proved to be remarkably enjoyable. Fallon smelled flowers, admired trees, and learned about Rescan society. Plus, Cabot seemed awfully pleased to talk about his people. There’d been no more coded conversation—they’d simply enjoyed their time together as friends.
She felt relaxed as she walked down the corridor to her quarters, then changed her mind and went two doors farther. She touched the chime.
“Hi.” Lim seemed surprised to see her. “Something wrong?”
“No. I thought I’d see how you were doing.”
They settled in the common living space of the quarters, which was nearly a mirror to her own.
“Okay, considering I may never get my past back.” He made himself comfortable and seemed thoughtful, but not depressed.
“Yeah. I know how much that sucks. I faced that same possibility.” She related her experience to him, while leaving out a lot of personal details and her revelations about Blackout.
He seemed deeply thoughtful. “What would you have done if you’d never gotten your memory back?”
“I’d have kept on with what I’d been doing. Your lack of memory doesn’t mean you’re less of a person. You still have your whole life ahead of you.”
“But what does that look like?” he asked. “What can I do? I don’t know where I belong.”
“What can you do?” she countered. “You tell me.”
“Math. Kellis seemed impressed when I showed her. She said with skills like that, I could get any number of jobs, wherever I wanted to go. The trouble is, where would I want to go?”
Fallon nodded, but said nothing. She wanted him to keep talking. Hearing his own words might help him figure himself out. She’d suggested he visit Grayith Barlow for some professional counseling, but so far Lim had been uninterested in that. Truthfully, she didn’t blame him. She wasn’t much for counseling, herself. She either worked things through on her own or talked them out with those closest to her.
After a long pause, he spoke again. “Is it foolish to hope I can recover some part of my old self? There was something that allowed me to remember enough to escape, and maybe the tissue regeneration will…I don’t know. Give me a chance, somehow.”
“What do you mean? About remembering enough to escape?”
“Well, I don’t know how long I was in that place, but I got the impression that it had been a while. I got angry at how I was being treated and that should have made it harder for me to think things through, but I felt more alert when I was mad. More capable. And when I felt like they were about to kill me or something, I fought back. I had these bits of information in my head that I couldn’t remember learning. A security code, how to use an emergency kit to force open bay doors, the way through the station. Stuff like that. It was like I’d saved the specific memories I’d need to escape.”
“Wait, those memories were from before that day? I thought they were all from your last day the
re, before you escaped. Did you tell Brak about this?”
He looked embarrassed. “No. She’d already told me that my brain didn’t have the necessary parts to store those memories. I didn’t want her to think I was lying about how I escaped.”
She tamped down her impatience by reminding herself of how paranoid she’d been—and rightfully so—when she’d had no memories. “You can trust her, and I promise she won’t think you’re lying. We need to take this to her right away.”
“Wren said you’d say that.” His voice held amusement and embarrassment.
That made her pause. “You talked to Wren about this?”
“She’s been visiting me the last couple days. She’s really easy to talk to. I told her about those flashes of memory and she told me that I needed to tell you.”
“Well, she was right. I don’t know what it means, but it must mean something.”
“It’s kind of late,” he said. “Shouldn’t we wait until morning?”
“Nope.” She pointed at the door. “I promise you, Brak would kick my ass if I knew about this and didn’t tell her, even for a few hours.”
“You’re sure she won’t think I’m lying?”
“Yes. Besides, she’s Briveen. If you were lying, she’d be able to smell it.”
“Really?” His eyes got big.
“Yep. Let’s go.”
Brak clicked her teeth in agitation. “I wouldn’t have thought you were lying about remembering things. We need to get to the infirmary, now.”
Lim’s voice grew small. “You think I’m in danger?”
“No. But I don’t want to wait until tomorrow to figure this out.”
Since Brak still had temporary guest quarters on Deck One, the trip to the infirmary didn’t take long. Once there, Brak waved distractedly to the medical staff on duty and tersely explained that she needed the private room for her patient.
Fallon was impressed. She’d never seen Brak so driven. She backed into the corner of the room and made herself unobtrusive.
Brak guided Lim to the techbed. “Remain still. I don’t need to use restraints unless you get fidgety. Let me get a functional scan set up.” She paused on her way to the controls. “Don’t worry. This won’t hurt.”
“But…you already did a functional scan,” Lim said hesitantly. “What is there to see that you haven’t already?”
“I was focusing on your long-term and short-term memories, which are stored in different locations. This time I’m going to look at your entire brain.”
Lim seemed to want to ask more questions, but he fell silent. His obvious confusion brought Fallon out of the corner and to his side. She laced her fingers through his and smiled at him. It was an odd feeling for her to be so familiar with someone she barely knew. But it was something Wren would have done, which told her it was the right thing to do.
He smiled back, and the worry eased from his face.
“Okay.” Brak moved to where Lim could see her. She handed him an infoboard. “I want you to look at the images that appear. Each one will remain for a few seconds, then be replaced by another. Just relax and think whatever you want to think when you look at them.”
Fallon watched him look at pictures of animals, planets, body parts, blood, faces of people wearing various expressions and engaged in a variety of activities. Finally, instead of a picture, the sound of instrumental music came from the board.
“Fallon, please tell him something about your experiences of memory loss. How it felt, how you dealt with it. Something along those lines.” Brak stared at the techbed display.
“Uh, sure.” Fallon thought back to when she’d woken up with no memory. “When I didn’t know what was going on, I was on alert. Paranoid. I was willing to do whatever I had to do in order to get my life back. That hole inside of me made me feel like there was far more of me missing than whatever I had left.”
Lim nodded and she continued, “I know our situations are different, but your past isn’t the most valuable thing about you. Your future is far more important. Everything you do tomorrow and the next day and the day after that. You still have all that ahead of you. And you already have friends. So no matter what these tests show, there’s a lot of good stuff still to come. Okay?”
He smiled. “Yeah. Thanks.”
After a long silence Brak said, “Lim, please think about your escape from that station. Step by step, from the moment you first thought of getting away.”
Lim closed his eyes, and his mouth tightened.
Brak muttered something in Briveen, then growled. A moment later she growled again. Fallon looked at Lim’s curious expression and shrugged. Brak’s scents and body language were all muddled into an odd mix, making them difficult for her to interpret.
Finally, Brak left the controls to face Lim. “So we discussed brain anatomy before. That the memory cortex involves a number of different structures in the brain, which is why your long-term memory could be wiped and leave your short-term memory intact. It also explains why you might retain some skills and cultural awareness.”
Lim nodded.
“You’re missing nearly everything memory related in your frontal and temporal lobes except for your amygdala—which is the emotion center of the brain.”
She paused and Lim said, “Okay.” He looked entirely mystified.
“Both of you, come back here and take a look at Lim’s amygdala.” Brak waved them toward the techbed controls.
Fallon watched two almond-shaped blobs display a flashing sequence of activity.
“That’s what it looked like when Lim thought about his escape. Any other time, his amygdala exhibited normal activity. It seems like Lim used his fear and desperation, or whatever he was feeling at the time, to imprint specific high-emotion information into his amygdala. It’s brilliant. He hid a message to himself in his own brain.”
A strong cinnamon aroma wafted around Fallon. She’d never smelled cinnamon from Brak before. Clearly she was incandescently happy. Ecstatic.
“I’ve never seen anything like it. This is fantastic!” Brak patted Lim on the back as if congratulating him.
“Uh. Thanks?” Lim seemed underwhelmed. “I’m guessing this doesn’t change my memory situation, though.”
Brak toned down her enthusiasm. “No. But it could open up new avenues in the study of memory. Imagine if we could intentionally load our own brains with memory engrams. We could make certain we’d never forget something truly important. And this could lead to new therapies for memory-destroying diseases.”
Brak pressed her hand to her chest, looking emotional.
And Fallon thought she loved her work. “Did you need us for anything else?”
Brak pulled herself together. “No. But thank you both. I know this doesn’t help your situation, Lim, but you’ve made a significant contribution to science.”
He lifted his shoulder and let it drop, in a noncommittal gesture that looked a lot like the Briveen sign for contrition. “I’m glad if it helps someone. But for my own sake, it’s nice to know that I have friends who will believe me if I say something crazy.”
“Of course we believe you,” Brak said. “As to the upgrade to your new implant, I’ll be ready to do that tomorrow. Noon, if that works for you.”
“Well, it’s ahead of schedule. Can’t say I’m sorry for it to be sooner rather than later.” Lim smiled weakly.
“How about we go by the pub and I buy you a drink?” Fallon offered, giving his shoulder a pat.
“Sure, if I’m allowed to drink before brain surgery.” Lim laughed.
Brak nodded distractedly and gave them a “go” gesture. Fallon suspected she’d work all night.
“All right. Let’s see what you think of Zerellian ale.”
24
Coalescence Chapter 9
Lim was not at all an ale person. After a cautious taste, he grimaced and asked, “Is there something that doesn’t taste like sour, burning water?”
On a hunch, Fallon ordered him a Sarka
vian brandy.
“Ahh. Now that’s good.” Lim wiped his mouth on a napkin with satisfaction. “It’s strange, not even knowing what I like.”
“I remember that. I ended up eating a rastor dumpling, only to find I absolutely hate them. It was like rotten dirty socks with a spicy sauce.”
“I’ll stay clear.” Lim chuckled.
“Never know. They might be your favorite.”
He sighed. “Yeah. I guess so. I’m going to have to try everything to see if I like it or not.”
“Yep. But look at the bright side. You get to try everything.” She smiled at him.
“Another good point.” He took a drink of his brandy, seeming more upbeat.
A moment later, he asked, “You’re going to take down the guy who did this to me, right?”
Fallon stared at him thoughtfully.
“What?” he asked, looking nervous.
“You saw him, right? The admiral who ordered this stuff be done to you? And you remember what he looks like?” With everything else going on, she’d failed to clamp onto that detail.
“Yeah.”
She yanked her comport off her belt and pulled up an image of Colb, and one of Krazinski. One of her father too, to add another face to the mix. She handed her comport to Lim. “Is it one of these guys?”
“That one.” His finger pointed to the one on the far right.
Her breath caught.
She’d never felt so validated as when she saw him pointing at Colb. So it had been him all along. She’d been sure of it, but in this world of hers, full of twists and turns and betrayals, it felt good to have actual visual confirmation.
“I’m buying you another brandy.”
Lim turned out to be a lightweight, returning to his quarters early, so Fallon called Hawk. She expected him to turn her down, but he quickly agreed to come meet her in the pub. She had a whisky waiting for him when he arrived.
“That’s the girl I love,” he said, tossing the whisky back all at once. “Could have gotten two, though. I see you’ve had a head start on me.”