Trey got out and opened the back door. Bekah hopped down from her seat and scrambled past Trey without even a glance.
“Replaced by a puppy.” He laughed.
Eryn was honestly glad to see that her daughter could let go of Trey that easily. Question was, could she do so long-term? An even bigger question was—as Trey held out his hand to help Eryn down— could she let go of him at all?
Trey closed the SUV door and heard a vehicle pulling into the compound. He spun to make sure it was Alex and Riley. When he confirmed their identity, he sighed out a breath of relief, drawing Hannah’s scrutiny. He’d saved Gage’s life a while back, and she’d made it her mission to ensure he was happy. And to her, that included a wife and family.
Alex and Riley joined the others, and Trey started in their direction, but Hannah left the group behind to approach Trey.
“I didn’t expect to see you with the team,” she said.
He worked hard to eliminate all worry from his tone. “I’m on security detail for Eryn.”
Hannah’s eyes narrowed in an assessing gaze. “From your look it seems like something more than hacking has occurred.”
So much for evading Hannah’s sharp intuition. He looked around to make sure the kids had moved out of earshot before speaking. “She was attacked by a man trying to abduct her.”
Hannah spun on Gage. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
Trey thought he would feel sheepish being called out in front of the team, but his gaze didn’t waver. “You couldn’t do anything about it, and I knew you’d worry yourself sick until we got home.”
“Then let me worry. I need to know when one of my family members gets hurt.” She rushed over to Eryn and swept her into her arms. “Trey told me about the attack. Are you okay?”
“My chest hurts a bit from where he held me,” Eryn said. “But otherwise I’m fine.”
Sandra scoffed. “A bit? You’re in serious pain and have been since it happened.”
“And I’m probably hurting you more.” Hannah set Eryn away. “And how are you doing emotionally?”
“I’m a wreck,” Eryn readily admitted.
Trey gaped at the three of them. Eryn had been stoic about her injuries with the team and here she was sharing that she had been hurt. Pretty seriously if her mother was to be believed. Eryn should probably have been checked out by a medic. In fact, if Trey had known about her pain, he would’ve insisted.
Gage clapped him on the back. “If you and Eryn get together you’ll have to get used to this. The sisterhood is strong, man. Very strong.”
“We won’t get—”
Gage held up a hand. “Save your breath. You will. We all know it, and you know it.”
“It’s just Eryn who has to come around,” Riley said.
Trey couldn’t believe they were discussing her when she was standing so close. “Yeah, well, she’s pretty stubborn.”
“And you’re a former operator,” Gage said. “Surely, you can figure out how to get past a little stubbornness.”
“Um, boss,” Alex said. “Wasn’t too long ago that you were in the same place.”
“Oh, no.” Gage shook his head, but grinned. “A single guy without prospects can’t weigh in here. Find the love of your life first, and then you can comment.”
“Guess I won’t say anything then.” Riley laughed.
Hannah turned to face them. “What’s so funny?”
Gage looked like he didn’t want to answer, so Trey decided he would take the bullet for his friend. “Just life in general.”
She was smart enough to see right through his comment, but she was also polite enough not to question them.
“I should get going,” Sandra said.
Trey once thought Sandra lived with Eryn, but she only stayed at the compound when Eryn needed babysitting.
Eryn took a deep satisfied breath as if glad to be home—maybe in a place where she felt safer. “Let me get Bekah, and we can head home.”
“I’ll get Bekah for you,” Trey offered to save her a few steps when she was in pain.
He expected her to argue, but she nodded.
He jogged across the yard to where the kids were playing with Barkley. They were all laying on their backs, and Barkley was running over the them, stopping to lick faces along the way. Mia and Bekah’s giggles filled the air, and Trey’s heart lifted. He wanted a family. Always had, but not when he was a Beret. Which is why he’d left the army. And yet, he hadn’t found a woman he wanted to be the mother of his children.
Until Eryn. That day they met. He fell hard. Right there and hadn’t been able to come up for air since. Now he wanted it all, including the little munchkin rolling in the grass and staining her clothes green.
“Bekah,” he said. “It’s time to go home.”
She looked like she might pout. “Are you coming home with me?”
“Yes.”
“Yippee.” She jumped up and took his hand. “This is my new friend Trey. He’s the bestest.”
“He’s our friend, too,” David announced. “He comes to see dad sometimes.”
That pout that had threatened before, materialized on Bekah’s mouth as if she didn’t want to share him with the others. His heart melted on the spot.
“How about I give you a ride on my shoulders?” He suggested to stave off tears.
Her eyes brightened. “Yes, please.”
He swung her up on his shoulders, and she clutched her fingers in his hair to hold on. “Say goodbye to your friends now.”
“Bye,” she called out.
“Bye, David and Mia,” he added. “Maybe I can come over in the morning, and we can play outside for a while.”
“Yes, please,” Mia answered, struggling to get to her feet. She’d suffered a brain injury in the car accident that had killed her mother, and she had some physical difficulties as a result. But she was a sweet little thing, and since Hannah had come into Mia’s life, the child opened up more and wasn’t quite as shy.
Trey rejoined the group, and Eryn frowned at him as if she didn’t like him carrying Bekah. Maybe he should’ve asked.
“Look, Mommy, I’m really tall.” Bekah giggled.
“I need to put you down now,” Trey said. “So I can carry the luggage.”
“I have my own suitcase,” she said as he swung her down. She ran for the bags that the guys had unloaded and grabbed a small Dora the Explorer suitcase on wheels. She didn’t wait for anyone but started down the drive.
So like her mother. Focused with single-minded purpose and rushing headlong to accomplish it. He grabbed as many bags as he could, but before he could take Eryn’s, she slung the strap for her computer case over her shoulder and took hold of her suitcase. He released it and grabbed Sandra’s instead.
“I’m not about to be stubborn and say no.” Sandra laughed, earning a look from Eryn.
Sandra held up her hands. “Message received.”
“I’m sorry,” Eryn said. “It’s just...” She shrugged.
“The attack,” her mother said. “Trey. Being back home. I’ll choose one so you don’t have to.”
Eryn smiled as her mother had obviously intended. Trey liked Sandra from the start, and he liked her even more now. Eryn hurried to catch up to Bekah, and Sandra fell into step by him.
“So tell me your story,” she said.
“Story?”
“You know. Your life story—in as much time as we have before reaching the cabin.” She grinned.
“I grew up in Portland. Great parents. Two brothers. Two sisters. I’m the second child. I always loved military things and felt a calling to join up. My parents didn’t have the same desire, so I compromised. Went to college first. They believed it would give me time to get over my military fascination. But it only grew. So I joined up the day I graduated. Worked my way into the Green Berets.”
“I thought so,” she said quietly.
“Pardon?”
“Special ops. I figured as much. I can tell one a m
ile away.”
“How’s that?”
“It’s in the way you carry yourself. Such supreme confidence. Nothing phases you.”
“You sound pretty well versed in spec op guys.”
“My husband was a Ranger.”
“So that’s where Eryn gets it.”
“If you mean her tenacity and unwillingness to give up—yes. And her desire to be in a career where she can carry a gun.” Sandra laughed. “I had better luck than your parents in keeping her out of the military, but then she goes and works for the FBI. And when that ends, she hooks up with Blackwell.” Sandra shook her head. “At least that’s not as dangerous as going to war.”
“That it’s not.” The guys he served with who lost their lives in duty to their country came to mind, and he was supremely thankful for their sacrifice. “Is that how your husband died?”
“No. Cancer. One year after he retired.” She shook her head again. “Here I worried about him on duty all those years, and I should have been prepared for cancer instead.”
“Sounds a bit like me. I served for so many years with not more than a scratch and then get shot as a deputy.”
“Eryn mentioned that you might not be able to go back to patrol.”
“Might not.”
“Maybe Gage has a position for you here.”
“He’s already offered.”
She mocked rubbing her hands together. “Well, doesn’t that make things interesting.”
“Why’s that?”
“You. Eryn. Working together when there’s this attraction between you.” She stepped past him toward the cabin door but glanced back. “I almost wish I was on the team to see that.”
Glad this discussion had ended, Trey followed everyone inside the small building. From the log exterior, he expected a rustic feel inside, but the walls were drywalled and painted a pale gray. The main living area was one big room with furniture that was overstuffed and looked comfy. He could easily imagine sitting on the sofa and watching a football game on the large-screen TV mounted over a fireplace. Her kitchen had white cabinets and gray countertops, and he could also imagine sitting at the island having a meal with her and Bekah. All thoughts he needed to stow.
“Gammy has to go home,” Sandra said to Bekah.
“Aw,” Bekah replied.
Trey waited for a meltdown since she didn’t get a long nap, but she gave her Gammy a big hug and stepped back. Sandra hugged Eryn, too, and Trey was suddenly homesick for his own family.
He didn’t visit them as often as he should. Maybe that was why he was so attracted to Eryn. He simply wanted family around. Yeah, right.
He carried Sandra’s bag to her small Honda. She stared at him for a long uncomfortable moment. “Don’t hurt my daughter. You hear?”
“I won’t,” he said, but then he really didn’t have any control over if Eryn got hurt or not. All he could do was control his actions. And he needed to be cognizant of that until he resolved his employment issues. After that kiss, it was very clear that there was no way he could spend each day working with her while longing to be a part of her personal life. Once she was safe, he would look for other employment in the event that he wasn’t cleared by the doctor and she didn’t want a relationship with him.
He went back inside and found Bekah at the island eating a snack of cheese and crackers. Eryn stood on the other side. She gestured at the food. “Dinner’s going to be a few hours so you might want to join us.”
She didn’t have to ask twice.
“Thanks.” He took a seat next to Bekah. “I like your cabin.”
Eryn looked around. “I still can’t believe I had a big part in building it. Gage hired workers to frame the place, do the big things, but I did all of the finishing work with the team’s help. We all worked together on each other’s places. It was a lot of fun.”
“I helped, too,” Bekah said around a mouthful of crackers.
“Not with food in your mouth,” Eryn said.
Bekah finished chewing and swallowed hard. “I painted. Mommy said I was a big help.”
“That you were.” Eryn’s fond expression landed on her daughter. “I could never have finished without you.”
Trey knew Eryn was exaggerating, but little Bekah’s chest puffed up under the compliment. How wonderful it must be to have the chance to raise a child and know you were doing one of the most important jobs God entrusted to people.
“Full.” Bekah hopped down from her place and took her plate and glass to the sink. “Going to play with Dora.”
She scampered through a doorway on the far wall.
“You’re doing an amazing job raising her.” Trey took a slice of cheese and placed it on a cracker.
“Thank you. That’s nice to hear. Sometimes I think I’m failing miserably.” She sighed. “Rich and I planned for me to not to work and stay home with her, but then he died and everything changed. Still, I have the best situation possible. Gage made sure of that. I can spend many of my days with her and work while she naps and at night after she goes to bed.”
“Do you want more children?”
She tilted her head as if she hadn’t really considered that option before. “Sure. I mean if I ever marry again. Which as I told you, I can’t imagine right now.”
“Mind if I throw something out there about your fear of losing someone again?”
Wariness darkened her eyes. “I suppose.”
He took a long drink of water as he organized his thoughts. The last thing he wanted to do was offend her. “First, I need to say I have to apply this to my own life, so there’s no judgement on my part, okay?”
She nodded but still looked wary.
“When I was first shot and put on desk duty, I was in a pretty foul mood. So my pastor took me aside and reminded me that I wasn’t trusting God. I told him I was asking for direction, but not hearing anything back. It was a one-way street.”
She nodded vigorously. “That’s me for sure. Since Rich died, I’m not hearing God at all.”
“He mentioned a verse in Jeremiah that talks about seeking God. I’d read it like a hundred times before and couldn’t see why my pastor was pointing it out. I mean doesn’t every Christian know we’re supposed to seek God?”
She nodded again, this time less forcefully.
“But then my pastor highlighted the part of the verse that said we only find God when we seek Him with our whole heart. I realized I wasn’t seeking with all my heart because part of me wanted what I wanted to happen, not what God wanted to happen. Even now, I want to go back on patrol, but maybe that’s not what God wants for me. I’m not ready to accept that, I guess, so I ask half-heartedly.”
She stood quietly, staring down at her hands that were resting on the counter.
“So maybe you’re hanging on to the past, too, when God wants you to let it go. It seems like you’re using the pain as a way to avoid falling for someone again so you don’t get hurt.”
She paused for a long moment. “You could be right. Probably are. But…I’m powerless to do anything about it right now.” She looked up at him, her eyes glistening with tears.
His heart tore at her sadness. He couldn’t sit there and do nothing, so he got up and circled the island to take her into his arms, being careful not to aggravate her injuries. She didn’t fight him but let him hold her as she softly cried. Not big sobs, only little puffs.
“It’ll be okay.” He stroked her hair.
Gradually, her tears subsided, and she leaned back to look at him. “I don’t know what’s come over me. I’m not a big crier, but I guess the stress of the last few days have finally hit home.”
“No need to apologize. I totally get it.”
She reached up then and gently touched the side of his face. “You’re an amazing man, Trey, and if I could find a way over my issues to be with anyone, it would be you.”
He appreciated her comment, but he knew that the only way she would get over her fear was if she wanted it for herself. Not for
him or any other man. And as much as he wanted to help her, he couldn’t. It was all up to her.
18
The morning came too soon, and Eryn wasn’t ready for the bright sunlight that filtered through her bedroom blinds. She stayed up way too late last night reviewing the logs and code and tracking down comments on the forum. And thinking about Trey’s words of wisdom.
It was funny how a person often couldn’t see their own problem, but someone else could succinctly nail it. Trey had done that for her. She was choosing not to let go of her fear of getting hurt. She got that now. But get it or not, she still wasn’t ready to let it go. Only someone who’d lost a close loved one could truly understand her reasoning.
Maybe Trey understood. She didn’t know, but he likely lost close friends in the army—soldiers who were like family to him. And he was smart enough to see his own problem, which she had to give him big kudos for. He really was an exceptional man, and she meant what she said last night. He was worth getting over her issues for, but she didn’t know how to do that. At least not on her own.
“Please help me,” she said and lay there, trying to come up with additional words, but that was all she could think to say. Her heart really wasn’t in it, as Trey pointed out.
She got out of bed and took a quick shower then dressed in her usual work attire. First, she would meet with Hannah to do the sketch of the deceased woman. Then later in the afternoon after Riley finished teaching his urban sniper course, he would fly her and Trey to Eastern Oregon, and she wanted to be wearing her Blackwell uniform when she questioned people.
She stepped into the family room and found Trey in the kitchen, a delicious smell drifting across the space. He’d folded the sheets and blanket from the couch and was now cooking breakfast? He was a keeper for sure.
He looked up and smiled. “I hope you don’t mind that I made myself at home in your kitchen.”
“Are you kidding? You’re making breakfast. How could I mind?” She laughed and joined him at the island.
“Just sausage and waffles. I was hungry and figured I could keep everything hot until you and Bekah were ready.”
Cold Case Page 17