by Amy Brent
“Barely. We’re not kids, and we won’t see each other that often. You’ll still be with your mom,” I mumbled as he reached out and wiped my cheek.
“Dad wants to try, and I’m going to, Larisa. I think we might have to try to make this work between us as well,” Cole suggested as I looked up at him.
“Fine. We won’t be here that much together, so it’s fine.” I turned and walked back to my room, leaving him behind as I closed and locked my door. I sat on the bed and cried as I forced myself to eat, willing myself to not throw it all up afterward.
I thought about the story that I was going to make up. I could tell them that a friend had a terrible break up with a boyfriend and needed me to help her through it. Since I wasn’t feeling great anyway, the two of us were just going to sit around and veg out in her apartment. That’s what normal girls did, right? Healthy girls didn’t sleep with their new stepfather and stepbrother in a month’s time.
I decided that I would tell them tonight. It was a tragic ordeal for Jane, and I wanted to help her. I could do this.
I fell asleep instead and woke up the following morning with a jolt as someone knocked on my door. “Larisa?” Brett called out as I blinked and sat up. I stood on shaking legs and unlocked my door as he stared at me. “Why is that locked?”
“I want to be alone. What’s wrong?” I snapped as he walked into the room and turned to face me.
“Did something happen last night? Cole told me that he had to leave today when he was going to stay through Sunday. Did you guys argue?” I fell onto the bed and brushed my hair back.
“No, I barely talked to him at all,” I lied as he stared at me.
“You know him from school?” Brett demanded as I shrugged.
“Not well, no. What did he say?” I asked as I dropped onto my pillows and closed my eyes.
“He said that something came up with football. I just wonder if he changed his mind about working things out. He was upset,” Brett told me as he sat on the bed and stared at me. “I just want my son back.” His eyes softened, and he tilted his head. “Are you feeling better?”
“Sort of. I got a call from my friend, Jane. She broke up with her boyfriend of six years last night and a hot mess. She asked if I’d come back and hang out with her, do the ice cream and chick flick thing. She even mentioned a fire,” I added details to make it more real as he glared at me.
“What the fuck? Both of you are just running off? What’s going on, Larisa? I wanted to spend some more time with you,” he looked at the open door and swallowed thickly. “She’s at work.”
“Are you saying that you want me to spread my legs right here and now feeling this way?” I asked him coldly as he shook his head.
“No, Larisa. It’s not like that at all.” Brett looked shell-shocked as he blinked at me and shook his head.
“It might be good for us to have some space. There’s some time before Christmas to let this all go and just move on,” I told him weakly as Brett sighed. “This is too heavy. She’s my mother.”
“I don’t love her. I never did, but I let her talk me into it, thinking that maybe it would work out. The second that I saw you, I knew that it wouldn’t.” He stared at me as I shook my head.
“You’re insane,” I murmured as he approached me and took my hands. “Stop this, Brett.”
“You didn’t like me touching you before? You didn’t like me making you come?” Brett asked as he moved over me and slipped his arms beside me. “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, sick or not.”
“This is done, Brett,” I said painfully as tears filled my eyes. “This can’t go on. I’m going home tonight and telling Mom about Jane. Don’t say anything, just decide what you want with her. Don’t stay if you don’t want her,” I advised him as he dropped down to kiss my neck. “Stop, Brett.”
“Fuck this. I don’t want you to leave. She’s out of town for a couple of days, and we can work this out,” Brett suggested as I shook my head.
“No, I’m leaving as soon as I pack. I can’t be here,” I repeated as he pulled away and stood up slowly. It killed me to let him go, but I knew that it was best. He left the room, and I burst into tears as I thought back to the times we were together, finding myself getting turned on by the vivid memories. I thought about Cole at the same time and buried my body under my blanket as I bit my lip. Stress and desire combined inside of me and I slipped my hand down my shorts as I found my pussy slick and hot. I groaned as I stroked myself, fast and rough as I searched for the release that I needed at the moment.
My eyes were closed as I came and I moaned as I jerked against my hand. I felt the blankets slide down my body and gasped as hands slipped my clothes off. Brett locked his mouth over me as I cried out his name. My second orgasm was hard and fulfilling as he sucked me between his teeth and tore off his pants. “Brett, we shouldn’t.”
“I need you,” He told me as he ripped open a package and sheathed himself with shaking hands. Brett moved between my legs and took me with one thrust as I pulled him inside with my hands on his ass. “Fuck, Larisa. You feel so good.” He moved deep and hard as I cried out and rocked against him, tight around him as my body betrayed my heart and mind. “Baby, I’m going to come. I’ve been waiting for you.”
“Brett!” I yelled as I exploded around him and felt him thicken. “Oh, God. Oh, fuck.” He stilled before jerking against me a few more times and his hands slid under my t-shirt to cup my bare breasts. “What are we doing?”
“What we should be doing,” he told me as he found my neck with his mouth and tugged on my hardening nipples with his fingers.
I didn’t tell him to stop as his mouth moved down my body to take me into his mouth as his finger slid inside of me. I needed him, and I knew it wouldn’t stop until I was out of this house. I was too weak.
CHAPTER 10
I slept with him a few more times before I insisted on leaving Sunday. I was a hot mess as I drove away, weak with tears and want as I stared forward and thought about school. Mom seemed sad enough that I was leaving and I hugged her, so upset that we were doing this to her even as I wondered how she thought that she and Brett were okay.
I listened to Pandora as I drove home and cried. Every time with Brett felt better, but I also thought back to how good it felt to be in Cole’s arms. I never admitted that to him or Brett, but they both made me feel good. If I let myself think about it hard enough, I’d recognize that they fucked alike. That would make me a slut, though.
I pulled into my apartment complex a few hours later and turned off my car as I took a deep breath. I was home where things had a chance of being normal. I got my bag out and walked up to the door, unlocking it before I pushed it open.
It was so quiet here, and I carried my bag to my bedroom to set it down on the floor. This was a place where I hadn’t slept with Brett. This was a place that was only spoiled by the memory of Cole, making me shudder as I ran a hand through my hair.
I took a shower before anything else, needing to clean up and soothe my muscles before I worried about anything else. I longed to spray it inside of me and soothe myself there, but only time would dull those pains. I cleaned myself off and swore a new life before I dried off and brushed my hair.
I was making some toast and heard the knock at the door as I tightened my robe. I padded across the floor in my bare feet and peered through the door to see Cole standing there. I knew that he still had his key so he’d get in if he wanted to. I unlocked it and swung the door open, looking up into his face as he pushed his way inside and stomped into my living room. “What are you doing here?”
“You’re finally home,” Cole said as he looked at me and I frowned.
“Yeah, I stayed a few more days. Unlike you. What happened?” I asked him as he stepped forward and took hold of my arms while he stared at me.
“It all came back to me, what happened here. It was too much to deal with along with everything else going on, Ris. I was angry, jealous and all aroun
d hurt over everything.” Cole shook his head and raised his hands to my face. “Tell me that you feel something for me. Tell me that we were more than just drunk sex. Tell me that you don’t want to fuck my dad ever again.”
Cole pressed his forehead against mine as he stared into my eyes. Part of me wanted to tell him that wasn’t true, that it could happen again and I would wreck my mother’s life. But I didn’t and nodded instead as he lowered his lips to mine. I was practically fresh from being in bed with Brett, but I kissed him back as I wrapped my arms around his neck.
What was I doing? I felt his tongue tease my lips open as he kissed her harder and I moaned as he ripped open my robe. Fuck, his hands were on my hips as he pulled me closer and kissed down my neck. I remembered the mark from Brett’s teeth that he’d left the last time we were together and I hoped that I wouldn’t have to explain it.
Cole moved down to kiss my nipples before he sucked one into his mouth and pushed me down onto the couch. I felt his fingers sliding down to enter me, hitting me where I still hurt as I closed my eyes. I wouldn’t admit that as I bit my lip and arched my back to offer him more of everything.
We ended up in my room as he took me from behind, hard and deep as I asked him for more. Cole groaned my name as he filled the condom that covered him and made me release with him. I buried my face into my comforter as I felt shame wash over me. We rested together against the pillows as he pulled me close and kissed my hair. I had to admit that it felt good, safe and warm in his arms. In a perfect world, we could be a couple, and I closed my eyes and breathed our scent in. “What about our new situation?” I whispered as he kissed my neck.
“We’re adults who have parents that got married. We’re not blood-related and have little to do with them. I think our lives are relatively separate,” Cole replied as I frowned. I wish it were that simple.
I fell asleep with him. We woke up together and made breakfast with an ease that would be hard to find with anyone else. My feelings for Cole overruled anything else as we laughed together and sipped coffee. This would be a good thing for me, a comfortable situation.
Cole stayed the next night, and we both started back at school within a few days. I felt like I was miles away from Brett and Mom with each passing day as I got closer to Cole.
It all came crashing down around me when Brett sent me a text in class. He told me that he was in town at a nearby hotel and needed to see me. We needed to talk. I tried to ignore it, knowing that I was with Cole now, but Brett had a pull over me that I couldn’t control. I agreed to meet him at the Hilton and made my way to his room on the sixth floor slowly as I looked at my phone. Cole was at practice and had plans tonight, not that I planned on being here late. I was going to see what Brett needed and leave.
I tapped on the door, and he opened it with a towel around his waist as he dried his hair. “Really?” I asked as I have him a raised eyebrow.
“I just finished in a meeting. Come in,” Brett said as he moved for me to walk inside.
“What did you need to see me about?” I asked as I felt him behind me, my body tense as I felt his hands on my arms.
“I missed you, Larisa,” Brett told me as he kissed my neck gently. “Have you missed me?” His hand cupped my breast through the lace of my bra and squeezed as I let out a small moan. I was weak, and I reached behind me to tug the towel off of his body before I turned and moved to my knees on the carpet. Brett slipped his hands into my hair as I took him in my mouth and moaned helplessly. I cared for Cole so much, but Brett made me want to please him every time I was in a room with him.
He came inside of my throat as I swallowed and closed my eyes. I knew that I was past the point of no return as he lifted me and carried me to the bed, spreading my thighs open as he buried his face inside of me. I came for him, oh God how hard I came for him. I begged him to take me as he covered himself and pushed me onto my knees, reminding me of the day that I bonded again with Cole.
I stayed late, eating dinner in the room with Brett as we stared at each other over the table. “So is this one of those things where you pop into town, and we meet up?” I asked him as he let out a sigh.
“What do you want, Larisa? Do you expect me to beg you to quit school and run away with me?” Brett asked as I stared at him. “I’d love that, but you’re getting ready for your future.” I’d noticed the ring on his left hand when I got there and knew that he was still with Mom, probably fucking her every night. Jesus, what was I thinking? I was with Cole nearly every night. “Can’t we have this for a time?”
“I suppose it will have to do,” I replied as I sipped my water and picked at my fries.
“Have you seen Cole?” Brett asked as I lifted my eyes to his and nodded. “How is he?”
“Doing well, I think. We have a class together,” I replied vaguely as Brett nodded. I could see that he loved his son and I also knew that I did as well. Cole was good for me, right for me. Brett was with someone else and older, a fact that would make a life together difficult. At this point, I didn’t even know if he wanted that since we agreed to meet up when we could.
I left late that night and hoped that Cole was at home. Sometimes he let himself into the apartment to sleep with me, but I was almost sure that his plans involved him sleeping at his place. I let myself inside of the door and checked quickly to see that I was alone as I sighed in relief. I showered and climbed under the covers, ignoring the vibration of my phone on the nightstand. Brett wanted me to stay the night, and I was sure that it was him.
I made my way to class in the morning and found Cole waiting for me with a smile on his face. “Have fun?” I asked as I slid into my seat and looked forward.
“I sent you a text after I was drunk. You didn’t respond,” he said as I realized that my phone died when I left it on mute on the nightstand.
“It died. I fell asleep before I charged it,” I admitted with a smile as he shook his head at me. We ate lunch after our classes, and he glanced down at his phone right when we finished.
“It’s Dad. He wants to have dinner with us,” Cole said as I kept my face neutral. “I guess he pops into town once in a while.”
“I have a test I have to study for,” I said with a frown as he typed something back. There was no way that I was going to join them for dinner. I sensed that one would find out about the other at some point, but I didn’t want to be there when it happened.
I’d avoid that as long as I possibly could.
CHAPTER 12
I managed to juggle them over the next month or so. It was mostly Cole that was in my bed, but I met up with Brett a couple times in a hotel, managing not to get caught because Cole was so busy with football. I lucked out, but I felt guilty every day that passed.
It hit home when Cole was holding me after sex one night and kissed my nose. “I love you,” he told me as I smiled and felt ice slide through my veins.
“You do?” I asked as I knew inside that I loved him as well. I loved him, but I was hurting him every time I was with his dad.
“Yeah,” Cole replied, leaving a pause as he stared at me. “I thought that we could tell our parents about us over Christmas. Dad knows I’m with someone, but I haven’t admitted who yet.”
“Think they’ll be mad?” I asked as I looked at Cole. His eyes showed me that he was aware that I hadn’t returned his affection, along with the pain at the knowledge.
“I hope not if we mean as much to one another as I’d like to think we do,” he said as I sighed and pulled him closer.
“I care so much for you, Cole. You have to know about that. I’m just getting used to how we are now,” I explained as I kissed him.
“I do, but I just thought…” He shook his head. “I’m not going to pressure you. We still have some time before we go.”
I was officially worried about the trip for Christmas now. Brett and I were showing no signs of slowing down, and Cole seemed to be getting more serious about me by the day. I knew that I was getting in deep and I tried t
o focus on upcoming tests instead of my uncertain future.
We drove in separate cars since Cole had time with his mom as well. He split up the holidays now and would sleep at both places while I stayed at Brett and Mom’s house. It was very typical of divorced, blended families but I had to wonder how many of them were as chaotic as our blend. I could only hope for the best as I made the drive and finally pulled into the driveway.
Mom always decorated beautifully. This year was no different, and I looked around the house with a smile as I smelled the cinnamon in the air. “Hello?” I called out as I set the bag down and looked at the tall tree that was loaded with presents.
“Larisa,” Brett called from the kitchen as I let out a sigh.
“Hey,” I greeted him as I walked in and saw him seasoning some steaks for dinner.
“I’m glad you’re here. We’re alone tonight since Cole is with his mom and your mom is out of town for a couple nights.” She was always out of town, and I knew what would happen as a result. I looked him over, dressed in worn jeans and a fitted Henley that brought out his eyes.
I helped him with the meal, comparing the night with the one I might spend with Cole. They were both good men deep down, but I knew that I’d have to make the choice at some point.
I let Brett lead me to my room that night. We never used his-theirs. Oddly enough, that felt wrong, but this here in my bed was acceptable somehow. Twisted, I know.
The sex was hot and rough, just the way he knew I liked it. I talked him into not sleeping in there, just in case Cole came here and caught us. It was a legitimate excuse even if I wasn’t with Cole.
I woke up the next day, knowing that Brett had to work. I pulled on a robe and wandered into the kitchen to make some coffee and a small breakfast as I watched some television. I ended up moving up the channel list to find some of the porn channels activated as my mouth dropped open. I put my plate on the table and went over the titles, trying to figure out what film was about what.