by Amy Brent
“Good morning. Ready to see your baby?” Her voice was bright and cheerful and Holly nodded as brown eyes surveyed the group in the room. “Are we finding out the sex today?”
“I am.” Holly replied, smiling as Lisa chimed in. She saw the girl look between Walter and Lisa and she laughed. “He’s not the dad. Just a friend like her.” She may have sounded amused by it but she was hurting inside as she missed Aaron all over again.
“Well, then. Let’s get started.” Everyone watched closely as she dumped the chilly gel on Holly’s stomach and started to rub the device over it. She told her measurements and information as Holly longed for the bathroom until the woman paused. “So…here is your baby’s legs and you are having a little girl.”
“Oh my God.” Everything stopped for Holly as she felt Lisa squeeze her hand in joy, feeling tears slide down her cheeks. She now knew what this being was and it was going to be her daughter in just a few short months. She looked at her best friend and they smiled at each other as the woman started to tell her more stuff.
Holly was told that she could use the restroom and she pulled her clothes back on before rushing out of the room and across the hall. She had never been so happy to pee and she focused on her baby as she released her pressure. A daughter. Would she look like Holly or Aaron…or both? Would they get along like she did with her mom?
Leaving the restroom, she stepped back into the room for the sonogram pictures and thanked the woman for the good news. Lisa and Walter were amped up and wanted to get lunch before Lisa took her shopping as Holly blinked. She stepped out onto the busy street and took a deep breath for a moment. Everything blurred together and Lisa grabbed her arm. “Are you okay?”
“I just need a sec,” Holly panted as she felt a cold bottle against her hand.
“Here. Drink this.” Walter told her and she knew that it was water since everybody was being so protective of her.
“I want to eat. I’m starving.” Holly admitted, blinking slowly as the world came back into focus. “I’ll decide after that about shopping. Okay?”
They decided on a place as they looked around to see what was close, and Holly bit into her cheeseburger with a happy smile. “Now I feel better.”
“What do you think we need?” Lisa asked as she bounced happily in her seat. They had a little crib and Holly was planning on using the chair in the living room for a makeshift rocker.
“I guess we can get some bedding and blankets now. Clothes. So many clothes.” Holly brightened as she thought about it and Walter chuckled. “Maybe a store or two?”
CHAPTER FOUR
They came home with a few bags of items and Holly put them all into the crib for the time being, adding them to the stuff her family had sent her. They weren’t thrilled that she was alone in this but respected her decision to keep the baby, believing that the father had left her and not the other way around. She heard Lisa call out that she was leaving and told her thanks as the door closed. Holly grabbed some yogurt from the fridge as she sat in front of her computer, warming it up as she took in the silence of the apartment. It wouldn’t be much longer and there would be the cries of her daughter needing her.
She noticed something in the corner, realizing that she’d set up alerts for news on the team so she could keep up. Holly clicked on the banner and read down as the news scroll opened as her stomach dropped at one of the headlines. She clicked one more time to read further, scanning the gossip column about Aaron and his new girlfriend. They were pictured together walking into a restaurant and even with the way the woman was blocking her face, Holly could tell that she was beautiful. More noticeably, he didn’t look as angry and she realized that he must have found someone that made him happy.
That would make it easier to announce the pregnancy she could no longer hide. Maybe he wouldn’t even care and she could just plan her time off in advance with an agreeable boss. Tanner worked well enough to work on his own for a little while during her maternity leave and everything would be fine if he just went along with it. She closed that story, wondering if the woman had met his family and if they were serious. She was jealous of the fact that she was getting Aaron at night in bed, still missing sex very much. Even in the harder times, Holly couldn’t bring herself to meet anyone. The players that she spent time with made it difficult anyway, making her wonder if she ever looked like one of their girlfriends. It wasn’t a bad thing in the end.
The following day as she got ready for work, Holly sighed and pulled a fitted shirt over her pants. Now it was clear that she was pregnant and she needed to be a big girl about it. There was a game and it would be a major way to announce it, but screw it. She was ready. She grabbed her team jacket before she left, knowing that Lisa would be sitting in one of her seats to watch Walter. They had made things official now and she was at every game that she could get to. Holly chose to walk tonight since it was so nice and brisk out and the girls lived pretty close by when she wasn’t exhausted. There were throngs of people in the streets and she smiled as she ducked through them, telling herself that everything would be fine. Aaron had moved on and so could she. Someday.
Holly made her way to the therapy room as people stopped her to congratulate her, making her blush. Tanner had already known and he grinned at her as she walked in. “Is everyone shocked?”
“It would seem so.” Holly replied, laughing as she glanced around. “I guess since I know it’s a girl, there’s no reason to hide it anymore.”
“Congratulations!” Tanner told her, giving her a hug as she smiled. He also believed that she’d been dumped and that there was no father in the picture. “He’s missing out.”
“Yeah, he is.” Holly agreed solemnly as she glanced at the clock. They needed to get out to the ice and she slipped the jacket over her arms before they walked out with the team, hooting along with them as they took the ice while Tanner took a protective stance with her.
“You’ll have to be careful, Holly. These guys can do some damage.” She smiled, having already seen that side of them a few times. They stood off to the right while the crowd screamed for their team, her arms by her side and her stomach on full display. She glanced at the bench, seeing Aaron and the coaches talking closely as she watched as the baby moved. He looked out onto the ice and she let her eyes drift away, letting him go in her mind even if her heart held on tight.
They won another game, making things look really good for finals as Tanner and Holly hugged each other. “This is awesome. We’re totally going to get the cup!” Tanner said as she giggled and held on to him for a moment. “We have to go out tonight. There is celebrating to be done.”
“Sure thing.” Holly agreed as she pulled away and called out to the team. The ones that were seeing her for the first time took second looks as they congratulated her and she waved them off with a smile.
Holly knew that they were all good as she walked slowly back to her room to meet Tanner, who went to meet with the doctors for a moment. “Holly!” The voice was sharp and angry, making her cringe as she knew that it was Aaron. “Stop.”
She paused and turned around, seeing the fire in his eyes. “What?”
“Why didn’t you tell me that you were pregnant?” He walked right up to her and backed her into the wall as she gasped. “This looks pretty far along and I can do the fucking math.”
“It’s not your problem, Mr. Neller. I’ll be taking a few months off when I deliver and that is all that matters to you.” Holly informed him as his face dropped.
“Were you fucking someone else when we were together? There’s no chance this is mine?” Aaron demanded softly, making her look around in panic.
“No. Stop this. Not here. Go find your girlfriend and forget about this.” Holly insisted, seeing the pain in his face as he pulled back.
“I haven’t forgotten about you and I never will.” Aaron told her, turning to walk away as she stared at him. She wanted to scream for him to come back and tell him that it was his baby…that she loved him.
Holly just glanced around to see if anyone had noticed the small argument and continued to the room with her head down, assuming they hadn’t.
The dinner was at a pizza place this time, stripped down and casual. Holly sat with Lisa, Walter, Tanner and a few other people as she looked at Aaron across the room. His arm was slung around the black haired woman as he sipped a beer and he looked comfortable. She wondered bitterly what it would be like to have felt that out like this, knowing they would have been really affectionate had they been allowed to be. She forced her eyes away, biting into another gooey slice of pizza as she wallowed in her misery.
He’d walked away so easily. Did he not care that she was pregnant? Did he really do the math because even if she was protected, there was no way she could have ever slept with anyone else. She knew how special it had been with him and it hurt her that he didn’t understand that. “You okay?” Tanner asked her, bringing her back to reality as she blinked and nodded.
“Tired. Exciting night. Pizza.” Holly broke it down easily, feeling his arm around her shoulders. They left first as he walked her to her apartment, still in his arm. “Thanks, Tanner.”
“For what?” He asked as she slipped her arm around his waist.
“You’ve been great to me these past few months. It means a lot.” She paused at the light and rested her head against him.
“I like you, Holly. It’s been hard watching you go through this alone. I don’t know how he just left you.” Tanner’s voice was soft and sincere and she stared up at him.
“Like like?” Holly asked in shock as he nodded.
“I was going to ask you out before, but you told me that you were seeing someone. After that, you seemed to have stopped and you looked so wrecked over it. I wanted to give you time.” Tanner shook his head. “Then you told me about the baby.”
“What did that change?” Holly asked as he led her across the street by taking her hand.
“It made me want to take care of you and the baby. The father has never stepped up to the plate and you need someone, Holly.” Tanner told her and she felt tears in her eyes.
“Tanner, you’re so good.” She sniffled as he held on tight as she started to cry.
“I want to date you. I want to be there for you when the baby is born.” Tanner told her, making her cry harder as she stopped walking. Looking back over the past few months, she realized that he’d liked her for the entire time that she’d known him. It was so obvious but she’d been too obsessed with her affair with Aaron and she fell against him. Had she chosen the wrong guy?
Tanner got her to her apartment and helped her inside, setting her down on the couch before he got her some water. “I wasn’t dumped, Tanner. I ended things when I realized that I was pregnant.” Holly admitted as she stared down at the floor. “I was scared to tell him and I just told him that I wanted to end it.”
“Is he in your life?” Tanner asked, and she shrugged.
“I see him sometimes, yes. He knows about it now…someone told him. I don’t know what will happen.” Holly admitted, falling into silence for a moment. “I kind of wish it had been you now, but this is a big bag of luggage to take on.”
Her phone chimed and she blinked as tears filled her eyes. “Shit.”
“Take the call. I am here for you for whatever you need.” Tanner assured her, kissing her hair with a firm press of his lips before he stood up. She watched him leave painfully, knowing that he could offer her a good, steady life but it wouldn’t be one that she really wanted. The phone sounded again and she bit her lip as she looked to see that Aaron was calling her.
“Hi.” Her voice was breaking as she tried to answer calmly, crying harder.
“I need to see you. I couldn’t even focus at dinner tonight.” Aaron told her huskily, making her heart beat and her hormones kick in.
CHAPTER FIVE
“I…I want to see you too.” Her willpower was faltering, and she didn’t think she could lie about the baby anymore. It wasn’t in her and Tanner’s confession had only made Holly realize how much she loved Aaron. “I know that you’ve moved on, I do. I just want to talk.”
“Where are you?” His voice was demanding and she sat up straighter.
“My apartment. Lisa is staying with Walt tonight so I’m alone.” She told him the address and he ended the call abruptly after telling her that he’d be there soon. Holly went to wash her face with some cold water and freshen up, changing into a cotton dress that draped around her curves and dragged on the floor. She heard the knock at the door as she stared at herself helplessly in the mirror, not knowing what to do as she ran her hands through her hair.
Holly walked out barefoot to answer the door, watching him stride past her into the living room. “Hi.” She closed the door and walked over to the couch to sit down, absently stroking her stomach. “There’s so much I want to know, Holly. I’m so angry that you never told me.”
“I’m sorry.” She whispered, feeling every bit of his pain as she pinched her eyes closed. “I was scared that you’d quit your job and leave the sport. I didn’t want to hurt you.”
“Hurt me?” Aaron asked, making her jump as he sat next to her. “How could this hurt me? I think I’m more pissed off that you hid it. Why? Isn’t it mine?”
“You know I was never with anyone else. You know how special you were to me.” She told him, looking over with flashing eyes. “I was protecting you. We both have good jobs, and I don’t want you to give up the game. You love it.”
“I love you more than any fucking game.” Aaron told her, making her choke for a moment. “I don’t have to leave the job. I can take care of you and…what is the baby?”
“A girl.” Holly admitted, feeling everything that she wanted to in that room with the monitor as tears filled his eyes. “I found out today. I didn’t want…I don’t know what I wanted.”
“I can’t believe that I’m having a daughter. Holly, I’ll be here for her as a dad but I want to be here for you too.” Aaron promised her, as she started to cry again.
“I love my job.” Holly told him, her shoulders shaking. “I love the team and I love caring for them. I was going to tell you that this was another man’s baby and just forget about you.” She tilted her head up to look at him. “You have someone now.”
“I ended it tonight. It never felt right but after seeing you, I just couldn’t be with her anymore.” Aaron told her, making her heart stop for a moment. “Marcy was a nice woman and my family really liked her but I didn’t feel it. I have always wanted to be with you.”
“You ended it for me?” Holly asked him and she felt him tuck her hair behind her ear.
“No, I needed it for me and I ended it for her. She deserves someone that really cares about her.” Aaron told her as she nodded. “I thought that you were with Walt. I was so pissed off and jealous and then I hear he’s with Lisa. You really know how to fuck with a man’s head, Holly.”
“I didn’t mean to.” She looked at him with a long stare, revealing her current state of desire. “I was trying to do what I thought was the right thing. I was jealous too when I saw the pictures of you with her. I tormented myself most of the night thinking about it and feeling fat and insecure.”
“Hardly.” Aaron looked down her body with a hungry gaze. “I knew that you looked different and even more beautiful than ever, but I didn’t suspect this. You were on the pill, weren’t you?”
“There was a bad batch prescribed. There are probably a lot of pregnant women out there right now.” Holly smiled and shook her head.
“Tell me how the pregnancy has been for you. I want to know everything.” Aaron told her, sitting back as she described all of the odd feelings that came along with it, showing him pictures on her phone that Lisa had taken along the way. She also went into the kitchen to get the sonogram pictures from the kitchen to show him, cutting one off for him. “Look at that.” His voice was filled with wonder and she smiled with tears in her eyes.
“I wanted you here for a
ll of this.” Aaron looked up at her and met her eyes. “I have an appointment every month until the due date is closer. Then it will be more often.”
“When is she due?” Aaron asked, resting his hand on her stomach as the other one clutched the picture.
“April. They keep changing the date with every sonogram so I am just leaving it up to her.” Holly replied, shrugging as she sat down beside him. “Want to see her room?”
She took him into the small den and he looked around with a half-smile. “It’s nice but small. Are you planning on moving?”
Holly blushed as she heard the words and he closed his eyes. “Shit. I think I know the only place that you’ll be moving.”
“Do you want me to someday?” Holly whispered, staring into his face as he nodded slowly.
Aaron stepped closer to her, lifting his hands to cup her face. “More than anything.” Holly sucked in her breath as he kissed her softly, closing her eyes as she memorized the feeling. She’d missed him so much though she was scared to hold on too tight, frightened that he would disappear. “I love you so much.”
“I love you.” Holly told him, finally slipping her arms around his neck. “I never want to live without you again.”
“You won’t have to.” Aaron told her, kissing her between sentences. “Will you be my girlfriend, Holly? I always fought it before but now I know what it’s like to be without you.” He kissed her again. “I’ll talk to the league. I’ll figure this out.”
“Aaron…I don’t care about my job. I’ll quit if I have to. I can work somewhere else. It doesn’t matter…I just want to be with you.”