by Edward Lang
I frowned. “What do you mean, you ‘believe so’?! You said it was impenetrable!”
If a stray hoof hits the eye slit, well…
“Way to be reassuring, Parch,” I grumbled.
“I could take your place, Scott,” Spirella offered. “I could spin webs throughout the forest, trap her, and then ride her back.”
“Thanks, babe – I appreciate the offer. But I got this.”
“Why the forest?” Alia asked. “She said it would be more likely for her to trample you if you did it there!”
“…so he can use his wall-crawling abilities!” Dyra realized.
I pointed at her. “Yup.”
“Clever…”
“If you’re high enough, she can’t get you out of the trees!” Spirella said, delighted.
“That’s the idea.”
“Won’t they regard that as cheating, too?” Alia asked.
“Remember when I said ‘If you ain’t cheatin’, you ain’t tryin’?”
“All too well,” Alia grumbled.
“Well, there’s a corollary to it: ‘If you’re in a fair fight, you didn’t plan it properly.’”
“And this is you planning an unfair fight?” Dyra asked drily.
“This is me taking lemons and trying to make lemonade.”
“Are you ready?” the Chieftess called from 20 feet away.
“Yes,” I called back.
“Then contestants, take your places. Everyone else, come to me here outside the forest.”
Alia, Dyra, and Spirella joined the other centaurs at the edge of the woods.
I walked ten feet into the trees and stood next to Seera, who squinted at me distrustfully.
In her hands was a woven net, bunched up in folds in her fists. There were metal weights attached at the corners.
“Uh… what’s that?” I asked.
“A net.”
“I can see that. Why do you have it?”
“To capture you, of course.”
I could just imagine her throwing it on me as soon as the race was started.
I turned to the Chieftess and called out, “Hey, do we have to start right next to each other?”
“You are allowed to start wherever you wish.”
“Then I’m starting over here,” I said as I walked 30 feet away through the trees.
“That won’t help you,” Seera said mockingly. “The branches on the trees are too high for you to reach.”
“I’ll take my chances,” I said with a grin.
Wouldn’t she be surprised to discover the truth…
“Are you ready?” the Chieftess asked.
“Yes,” both Seera and I answered.
“Then get ready… and GO!”
As soon as the Chieftess yelled ‘Go,’ Seera thundered through the trees towards me, swinging the net.
I simply scampered up the nearest oak using my Wall-Crawler abilities.
You should have seen Seera’s face.
“WHAT?!” she bellowed.
“What is it?” the Chieftess yelled. She and the others didn’t have a clear line of sight through the trees.
“He climbed up the tree!” Seera shouted angrily.
“That’s allowed.”
“No, you don’t understand – he climbed up a limbless tree trunk – like an ARACHNE!” Seera yelled, suddenly realizing something was rotten in the state of Denmark. “He has some sort of magical abilities!”
“Again?!” the Chieftess yelled.
“They’re MY abilities,” I shouted back happily from the safety of the branches twenty feet up. “My girlfriends aren’t helping me.”
“Come down here!” Seera yelled.
“Nope.”
“If you don’t come down, I will shoot you down!” she roared, and galloped back to the edge of the forest.
“Where are you going?” I yelled.
No answer – but she came trotting back about 30 seconds later holding a bow and with a quiver full of arrows strapped to one shoulder.
“Hey, that’s cheating!” I yelled.
“Complained the cheater!” she yelled back up with a devious grin.
“You’re not allowed to bring in new stuff into the match! …right?” I asked, not exactly sure.
“You brought in magic that you didn’t disclose!” Seera shouted.
“Yeah, but I had that when I walked into the contest – you just didn’t know about it!”
“Well, I had these when I walked into the contest – you just didn’t know about them!” Seera yelled back.
“Hey, Chieftess – are you really going to allow this?!”
“Considering your actions in the last trial – yes, I will allow it.”
Oh, great. Just GREAT.
“But no more new items shall be introduced, Seera,” the Chieftess warned.
“Fine,” Seera said happily as she nocked her first arrow.
“Those look dangerous!” I yelled as I peered down through the branches.
“They are,” Seera confirmed.
“So, what – you’re going to try to KILL me after we healed you?! That’s not very nice!”
“You could just come down out of the trees and give up.”
“Not gonna happen.”
“Then stick close to your dryad, human!” Seera called out mockingly.
Actually, I wasn’t too worried. I had Zala’s Flesh Wound power, meaning that nothing less than a head shot could kill me – and I also had the Baron’s apparently impenetrable helmet. Plus I had on some pretty heavy-duty leather armor.
…but arrows could pierce leather armor.
And if that armor got pierced, having Flesh Wound wouldn’t necessarily stop me from falling out of the tree, getting caught, and losing the contest.
So I was still going to have to be extra careful.
I kept the trunk of the oak tree between me and Seera, scuttling around its circumference as she raced around the base trying to get a clear shot.
“Stay still, damn you!” she yelled.
“Quit trying to kill me, then!”
“I’m not trying to kill you – I just want to knock you out of the tree!”
“Oh, my mistake – now you’ve totally convinced me to stay still.”
A few seconds later as I disappeared from the right side of the tree, she faked me out and reared back on her hind legs, then let off a shot towards the left of the trunk.
The arrow grazed the tree bark by my hand – a little too close for comfort.
“Not cool!” I yelled.
“Come out of the trees and face me like a warrior, you coward!”
“Why don’t you come up in the trees and face me here, huh?”
“You know I can’t do that!”
“Well, you should know I don’t particularly want to get trampled or shot!”
I knew I COULD use Venom Blast on her – but I didn’t want to hurt her. My goal was to eventually convert her to my harem, and I didn’t think that was likely if I magically flambéed her.
“You knoooow, you could just let me ride on your back…”
“Absolutely not.”
“Why not?” I teased. “You don’t do it bareback?”
She sounded confused. “What?”
Okay, apparently not all sex jokes translated from one world to the other.
“Never mind… why won’t you let me, ahem, ‘ride’ you?”
“It is shameful for a warrior to let someone ride her back, unless she is helping him in time of war, or…”
She trailed off.
“Or what?” I asked, though I was pretty sure she was about to say something about love and respect, like Parch had mentioned. And I was guessing she just didn’t want to give me more ammunition to taunt her with.
“Nothing,” she said hurriedly.
“Well, I want to go to war against the necromanceress, and you could help me out, so I’d say this qualifies for ‘helping me in a time of war.’”
“Absolutely not!�
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She was getting sloppy as she rode around the base of the tree. Obviously she thought that crawling up trees was the only trick I had in my arsenal.
Time to disabuse her of that notion.
First I got into position about ten feet above her.
“Showing a little courage, eh?” she taunted me.
“Something like that.”
She started racing around the tree again, but I scurried around like a squirrel –
Until I didn’t.
Instead, I fired Venom Blast.
Not at her, but at the ground at her feet.
Clods of dirt exploded in the air as she screamed and reared up on her hind legs. “By the Great Centaur!”
The second she came back down onto all four legs, I leapt out of the tree, straight down onto her back.
WHAM.
“OOF,” I grunted in pain. I mean, I’d basically racked my own balls by landing on her spine. Stuntmen in movies who jumped off buildings onto horses must have had cups made of iron or something.
Still, I hung onto her with all my Wall-Crawler might.
She swung around, trying to throw me off.
When that didn’t work, she reared up on her hind legs again, trying to pitch me off.
I still hung on.
It was right around then that she realized she was in trouble.
“NOOOO!” she screamed in panic and frustration, and took off through the forest, trying to bash me off her by ramming up against trees trunks.
“OW! OW! OW!” I yelled as she slammed me repeatedly against tree trunks. My helmet clanged repeatedly against the bark, going Bang! Clang! Clunk!
I felt like Indiana Jones in Last Crusade when the tank was trying to scrape him against the rock cliff.
But still I held on.
Seera raced out of the forest into the grass fields and started acting like a bucking bronco at a rodeo, throwing her rear legs up into the air, trying to shake me loose.
But I had what no cowboy in existence had ever had before:
Magical arachne powers.
I clung to her body with all my might.
Finally she stopped bucking and just stood there, head bowed in shame as the other centaurs approached. They looked absolutely astounded.
“I have failed,” Seera announced miserably.
“Then Scott wins the second trial,” the Chieftess said.
“Yay,” I groaned facetiously as I slid off Seera and collapsed on the ground. “Dyra… a little help?”
My dryad came running over and healed me. Within 20 seconds, all the aches, pains, and bruises were gone.
“Thanks, babe,” I said to Dyra as I got to my feet, then held out my hand to Seera. “No hard feelings?”
She just scowled and wouldn’t look at me.
“Okay, fine,” I said with a sigh, and turned to the Chieftess. “We gonna do the third trial now?”
“If both parties agree.”
“I agree.”
“Seera?”
“I shall go through with it to the bitter end,” Seera said, sounding just as bitter as the ‘end’ she was stalking about.
“Then we shall commence the final trial,” the Chieftess said.
“Which is?” I asked.
“You must bring Seera to ultimate bliss.”
12
I stared at the Chieftess in shock.
“…say what?”
“You must pleasure Seera and bring her to ultimate bliss,” the Chieftess informed me.
Okay… I hadn’t been expecting THAT…
“I must warn you,” the Chieftess continued, “that Seera will be doing everything in her might to resist your advances.”
“You’re saying I need to make her come, even though she’s going to try not to?”
“She must have an orgasm, yes. Oh, by the way: if you achieve ultimate bliss first, you lose the trial.”
Wow.
A little bit of payback for every guy who’d ever finished first.
I glanced over at my girls.
Alia was steaming, Dyra had her arms crossed in jealousy, and even Spirella was frowning.
“Is this absolutely necessary?” I asked the Chieftess. “Can’t we do something else?”
“No,” the horse lady said simply.
Great.
“…alright, I guess,” I muttered.
“The participants will now remove their clothes,” the Chieftess intoned.
“Wait, WHAT?!” I yelped.
My three girlfriends reacted pretty much the same way.
“What?!” Alia screeched.
“Say that again?” Dyra called out.
“Huh?” Spirella said.
“You want me to have sex with her HERE?!” I asked. “In front of EVERYBODY?!”
“Of course,” the Chieftess said, puzzled. “How else would we be able to ascertain that you have succeeded?”
“Oh, I don’t know – maybe you could TRUST HER?”
“We do this for both your protection,” the Chieftess reassured me. “So that there is complete transparency.”
Yeah, no shit. No clothes at all – talk about ‘complete transparency’…
“Please commence,” the Chieftess said.
Jesus…
I looked around at all the gorgeous centaur babes in the clearing. I blushed a little, then began taking off my armor.
The women just watched me dispassionately.
Weirdest fuckin’ sex club ever.
Eyes Wide Shut had nothin’ on these chicks…
To be honest, I wasn’t quite sure I was going to be able to… um… ‘perform,’ if you know what I’m sayin’. I mean, I’d only had sex in the privacy of my bedroom. I’d never done it in front of an audience before.
Although there was a certain kinky appeal to it, I had to admit. I was getting a chubby just thinking about having 30 gorgeous female centaurs watch me fuck their fellow monster girl.
If you were going to debut in ‘live porn,’ what a way to do it.
A centauress walked over to Seera and reached up behind her back.
Suddenly her armor cuirass came undone and slipped off her body.
Holy shit.
Seera had gorgeous tits, firm C-cups that stood out perkily from her body. Her areolas were a brownish pink, and looked almost airbrushed onto her skin, with no firm dividing line between the two.
She did not appear to be turned on at all, because her nipples were barely visible above her areolas at all. Just two little bumps.
Oh well. We’d have to work on that.
And the rest of her… daaaaamn…
Her belly was taut, with individual abs showing faintly through her skin. She looked like a real athlete – which made sense, seeing as she was a warrior.
Her armor had been covering up her belly, so it had been impossible to see before, but her human torso gave way smoothly to her horse body. There was a bit of a zone where her peach-colored skin got a bit fuzzy, but then it was brown horse hair from that point on down.
I frowned.
Alia’s vajajay was in front, hidden in a slit beneath her belly.
Same with Spirella’s naughty bits, which were ensconced within a protective part of her carapace.
But where were Seera’s –
And then the realization hit me.
Oh no.
Oh no no no no no…
I sort of leaned over to the side and took a look at her hind quarters beneath her bushy tail, the same chestnut color as the voluminous curls spilling down her shoulders.
NO NO NO NO NO.
This was… oh dear.
I loved me some monster girls, but this was a little fuckin’ weird, man.
“Well?” Seera asked me haughtily as I stood there in nothing but my boxers. “Are you going to disrobe or not?”
Looking around at all the centaur chicks staring at me, I blushed even harder… then dropped trou.
Every eyebrow in the clearing raised considerab
ly as they stared at my junk.
“Well,” Seera said with a smirk, “I think I’m going to win this trial.”
At first I was confused – and then it suddenly occurred to me that I was about to, um, ‘couple’ with a woman who was half equine.
A phrase popped up in my brain:
Hung like a horse.
Shit.
‘Hung like a horse’ I definitely was not.
The female centaurs tittered and giggled behind their hands, and my embarrassed blush became even more scarlet red.
I was enraged by the humiliation –
But…
I gotta kind of admit…
I was a little turned on by it, too.
Maybe it was the 30 hot centaur chicks checking my package out.
Either way, my chubby got a bit bigger.
“Still not nearly enough,” Seera sneered.
BITCH.
At that moment, I decided I was going to win this damn contest no matter what.
I walked over to her front.
With her extra height, she stood about a foot taller than me –
Which put her beautiful breasts almost at eye level.
My chubby got a little chubbier.
“Alright,” the Chieftess rebuked the other females, “quiet.”
The crowd settled down into silence.
Not a whole lot better than the giggling and whispers, to be honest.
“You may begin whenever you wish, Scott,” the Chieftess informed me.
I looked up at Seera.
She squinted down at me with peevish disdain.
“I’m going to need something to stand on,” I announced.
In my mind I thought, For both the front AND the back.
“Can you get me something?” I continued.
The Chieftess clicked her fingers, and several of the female centaurs galloped off. They returned half a minute later carrying multiple hides, which they piled at my feet. Altogether, my new platform would raise me about a foot off the ground.
“Those’ll do, I guess. Thanks,” I said as I stepped up onto them.
Now I was eye-to-eye with Seera.
She glared at me even more angrily.
I raised my hand to her face, and she flinched.
But all I did was brush some curls away from her eyes, behind her ears.
She looked at me suspiciously.
I leaned in to kiss her –
And she jerked her head back, her face hostile.
Oh, okay.
So that’s the way it was gonna be, huh?