by Cole Lepley
He looks me over for a moment before reaching across the end table for the ashtray. “Yeah, I guess I would consider you a friend.” He gives me a pointed look. “That could all change if you fuck up. If I ever catch wind that you’re making my sister unhappy I won’t hesitate to make you regret it.”
“Trust me, that is the last thing I want to do.” I shrug. “I love her.”
He raises an eyebrow. “Love, huh? That’s the second time I’ve heard you say those words.” He takes another slow drag. “Did you say them to her?”
I shake my head.
“Are you going to tell her?”
“I’ve been trying, it’s just…”
A loud knock on the door interrupts me and Perry stands. He stalks to the window and then turns around with fear in his eyes. My heart pounds, it’s well after midnight so I don’t want to assume who it could be. If Perry is scared, maybe I don’t want to know.
He walks over in front of me and lowers his voice. “Do me a solid.”
I swallow hard. “Like what?”
His eyes drift to the door again as another loud knock sounds. “Tell them I’m not here.”
“Who’s them?” I whisper harshly, standing up from the couch.
“Perry you motherfucker! I know you’re in there!”
The disgruntled voice is female and furious. I hold in the laugh I can feel building in my chest. “Um, is that a…”
“Yes, it’s a fucking girl,” he answers for me. “It’s not what you think though. That one,” he says, pointing to the door with wide eyes. “Is fucking insane.” He takes off toward the bedroom, but I grab his arm.
“She’s probably not stupid,” I whisper. “That’s the first place she’ll look.”
He plants his hands on my shoulders. “I’m not fucking stupid either. I’m going out the window.”
He pulls away from me when the knocking gets louder. I watch in astonishment as he lifts the window and climbs out.
“Are you crazy? That’s an almost three-story drop.”
He winks with one leg hanging out of the window. “Don’t worry. I’ve fallen from worse.”
I shake my head when he disappears from view and then walk to the front door. The way she’s carrying on out there is enough to wake the entire neighborhood. Before I can pull the door open, I have to duck as an oversized handbag flies at my head.
“Whoa!” I cry, shielding my face. “I’m not Perry.”
The tiny blonde stops her assault and narrows her deep green eyes at me. “Where the fuck is he?” She steps around me and heads straight for the bedroom. “I know you’re in here you son of a bitch!”
I hold my hand over my mouth as I watch her stomp around the small bedroom, overturning the comforter and pulling the closet doors open. The girl is thorough; I’ll give her that. Satisfied that he’s not in there, she turns her attention back to me. When she comes to a stop in front me, she cocks her head.
“You hiding him?”
I take in her tight jeans and cropped t-shirt. Her body is banging, but from the minimal time we’ve spent together, I can already see why Perry is so afraid.
“I’m waiting,” she prompts when I take too long to answer.
“Um, I don’t know. I’m the only one staying here right now.”
Her eyes scan up and down my body and smile spreads across her face. She pokes a hot pink finger nail in my chest. “And who are you?”
I pull my hands into my chest and do my best to portray sincerity. “My name is Judah and I’m Mackenzie’s boyfriend.”
She laughs, but before she responds, the door opens again. This time I’m happy with who walks in.
Mackenzie has her hair pulled up and is dressed in sweatpants and a hoodie. She looks like she just rolled out of bed. “Give it a rest Stacy, will ya?” She rolls her eyes before hugging herself to my side. I wrap my arm around her and plant a kiss the side of her head. “Perry’s not here. I haven’t seen since I got home.”
Stacy sneers back at her. “Well, when you do hear from him, will you let him know I’m looking for him?”
“Sure thing,” Mackenzie replies with fake enthusiasm.
Stacy gives me one last look before stepping past us and walking out of the door. I breathe a sigh of relief.
“What the fuck what that all about?” I ask, looking down at her.
Mackenzie laughs. “That was one of Perry’s hookups. She’s been trying to nail him down for years, but has trouble taking a hint.”
“Or maybe she likes the way my dick tastes,” Perry remarks, strolling in.
I do a double take as a noise of revulsion escapes Mack’s lips. “Where did you come from? I just saw you leap from a two-story window.”
Perry laughs on his way to the small refrigerator. He pulls out a beer and leans back against the counter. “I’ve mastered the art of sneaking in and out of places.” He takes a drink and then shrugs. “It was a necessary skill to learn.”
Mackenzie walks over and gives him a shove. “I thought you said you were done with her. She almost woke up mom and dad.”
He rubs his shoulder with a chuckle. “Sorry, I was gone for a long time and surrounded by nothing but dudes. I needed a release.”
Mackenzie crosses her arms. “Don’t you think you could have chosen someone a little more stable? She’s fucking nuts.”
“The hot ones always are,” he says with a wink.
Mackenzie rolls her eyes again before walking back over to me. She leans up on her tiptoes and kisses me once. “At least I got to come over here and see you. I couldn’t sleep very well.”
“Me either,” I say, kissing her once more.
Perry sets his bottle down on the counter hard. “I won’t stand here and watch you two make out all night.”
“Then go somewhere else,” Mack says with a smirk.
“Speaking of crazy,” Perry says, changing the subject. “Has Sean contacted you since you got home?”
Mackenzie shrinks at my side, shaking her head no.
“No?” Perry asks, stepping toward her. “Are you telling me he hasn’t called you at all?”
She shakes her head again, but I can tell she’s lying. I lean down to her. “Babe, did he call you?”
She lets out a dramatic sigh. “Okay, fine. He called me.” Perry narrows his eyes, but she continues. “He knows I have his phone, and he wants it back.”
Perry clenches his fist. “How does he know that?”
Mackenzie looks to me and then to him. “He tracked it to my apartment.”
The color in Perry’s face turns three shades darker. “So, he knows where you fucking live and you didn’t feel like that was something I should know?”
“It wasn’t a big deal. He already went home by the time he found out and he knew you were visiting me so it’s not like he ever went looking for me.”
Perry slams his fist on the counter. “But he could have. He could have done any number of fucked up things to you when I wasn’t there to protect you.”
“I have Zander…”
“Fuck that,” Perry spits out, interrupting her. “It’s not good enough.” He walks over and gets right in her face, lowering his voice to a menacing growl. “I’ve seen the things guys like him do. I’m not about to let it happen to you.”
Mackenzie wraps her arms around herself, looking to the ground. “Okay, I’m sorry.”
Perry scoffs and starts pacing again. “Your damn right you should be sorry. How many times does he have to fuck with you before you realize how fucking dangerous he is?”
I see her lip tremble and I pull her toward me. She buries her face in my chest while I rub my hand up and down her back. “We’re trying to help you, Mack. Let us.”
When she pulls back to look at me, her eyes are red with unshed tears. “I know what I need to do to finish this.”
I tuck the hair that has fallen from her ponytail behind her ears. “Okay, tell us what you need to do and we’ll figure it out together.”
She looks back to Perry. “You can’t interfere. I don’t need you going back to prison for violating your parole.”
Perry holds his hands up with a grin. “I won’t touch him. Promise.”
Mackenzie takes a deep breath. “All right. I have a plan.”
Chapter 42
Nothing Without You
Mackenzie
I don’t want Perry involved with anything that has to do with Sean. He’s still on parole and it’s my turn to protect him. Being shady isn’t my style, but I can’t think of another way. I need to protect Judah, too.
A light tap comes through my door before Judah walks in. He smiles as he makes his way over to me. “Hi, babe,” he says, leaning down to kiss me.
I wrap my arms around his neck and hold him to me for a moment longer. “Hey, yourself.”
He sits next to me and laces his fingers with mine. He brings them up to his lips. “I’m looking forward to meeting the rest of your family.”
I take a sharp breath. I’m excited for that too, but my mind is consumed with the lie I’m about to tell.
“Me, too.”
His gaze focuses on our intertwined hands. “It means a lot to me that I’m here.” He looks up to meet my eyes. “I know this a big step for you. It’s a big step for me, too.”
There’s so much hope in his stare my heart stutters. I want to be the kind of girlfriend he deserves. Someone who isn’t afraid to be loved. I give his hand a squeeze.
“I’m really happy you’re here. I know I make things difficult sometimes, but I promise I try not to.”
Judah shakes his head. “Don’t apologize. I think you’re amazing.”
My cheeks flush. I could never accept compliments very well. It’s probably because I always felt like I didn’t deserve them.
I lean back against the corner of the window seat and pull my hand away. “I’m going to give Sean his phone back. I can’t move on with my life until I have some closure with my past.” My breath hitches in my throat, but I fight through it. “I deleted the videos.”
“Mack,” Judah says, disappointment lacing his tone. “How could you do that? I thought you were going to take him down.”
“I want to, but…” My voice trails off and I look away from him. “I just want this to be over. I want to be normal again. Going to the police will only prolong this and I don’t think I could handle a trial.”
He’s quiet for a moment and then his hand lands on my knee. I wipe under my eyes and meet his gaze.
“I understand.” He laughs once. “Trust me, I want that motherfucker to go down as much as anyone, but it’s your choice.” He reaches for my hand again, taking it in his. “I can promise you one thing, though. He’ll never hurt you again. I won’t let him.”
His words are sweet and I already feel guilty for what I’m about to do.
“I know you won’t,” I whisper.
Judah smiles and leans down to kiss me. His lips are light and a part of me wishes he would kiss me harder, longer. Anything to take over my mind and fill it will happy thoughts instead of worry. But all too soon, he pulls away. He stares into my eyes for a beat and then takes a breath.
“Mack, I know this is all still very new between us, but I want you to know that I—”
“You ready to eat?”
Perry strolls into my bedroom and flops down on the edge of my bed, oblivious to the moment we were trying to have. I see the irritation on Judah’s face as he pulls his hand away from mine and runs it over his head with a sigh.
“What?” Perry asks with a shrug.
“Can’t you knock?” I say, my frustration peaking. “Judah and I were talking.”
Perry scrunches his nose up. “You have plenty of time to talk each other later. We need to get ready for dinner. Mom’s been planning this for weeks and I’m already on her shit list.”
I laugh. “What d’you do now?”
Perry reaches into the pocket of his jeans and pulls out his cigarettes. I raise an eyebrow.
“I know you don’t think you’re going to smoke that in here.”
He throws his hands up with a groan. “Then let’s get fucking moving.”
I laugh. “Okay, we’ll be down soon.”
Perry narrows his eyes at me. “After dinner we’re talking about Sean.” He leans in closer to capture my full attention. “And if you wait too long, I’m going to end it. I promise I won’t be able to come back next time.”
His words stir in my stomach like I swallowed a hornet’s nest. The guilt I harbor for what Perry had to go through for me is still fresh. If he would’ve known the whole story when he attacked Sean, I can be certain he’d still be in prison.
“Okay,” I say, defeated. “We’ll figure it out.”
Convincing Sean to meet up with me was easy. He’s been itching to get me alone ever since he found me at the football game. The hard part was lying to Perry and Judah. I agreed to meet him down the street to do the exchange. I wanted to wait until after dinner, but he insisted we do this now.
Judah went to the apartment to get a shower, and it gives me just enough time to sneak out and meet Sean. I grab my jacket and slip out the front door without anyone noticing. When I make it to the end of the driveway, I can see Sean’s car idling down the street. I feel sick, but fight through it and walk down the sidewalk.
He lowers the passenger window when I get beside his car and his spicy cologne wafts out. It used to give me butterflies and make my toes tingle. Now I just want to throw up or pinch my nose shut so I don’t have to smell it anymore.
“Get in.”
“No way,” I say, laughing. I pull his phone from my bag. “This is what you wanted. That was the deal.”
He looks at the phone with disinterest and then back to me. His dark eyes scan from my fitted cashmere sweater to my tattered Ugg’s. “That’s not all I want. Get in.”
“I’m not stupid enough to get in a car with you.”
Sean licks across his bottom lip. “I don’t think that matters. You don’t have a choice.”
“Of course I do. I’m saying no.”
He chuckles under his breath and leans further across the seat. “If you don’t get in this car right now I’m going to get angry, and when I get angry bad things happen.”
He’s not one to make empty threats, but the videos aren’t on his phone anymore. The leverage he once had is gone even if he doesn’t know it yet.
“I’m not afraid of you.”
A cynical smile creeps across his face. “Maybe not, but your boyfriend should be. All it will take is one phone call about an injury I endured from the frat party and he’s done. He’ll never play again.”
“You didn’t get hurt,” I seethe. “Aside from your stupid face and likely your ego, you look just fine.”
“Thanks for noticing.” He pushes the door open and rights himself in his seat. “Get in the fucking car before I lose my patience.”
He waits arrogantly for me to comply. I take a moment to look at him. Really look at him. He’s wearing a tight navy Henley, showcasing his toned biceps and the bruise around his eye is fading. It’s heartbreaking how beautiful his face is. Someone so ugly on the inside shouldn’t have the privilege of being desirable. It disguises the danger his presence brings.
Knowing all of this, I still can’t risk letting him hurt Judah. I’m sure it wouldn’t be a low point in morality for Sean to fake an injury. It would be the least vindictive thing he’s ever done.
I reach for the open door before I can change my mind. My eyes drift back down to my driveway and connect with Judah’s. He’s standing on the sidewalk, hands throw out like he can’t believe what he’s seeing. I expect him to take off running after me—but he does the opposite. He runs toward the garage.
He’s going to get Perry. Fueled by my instinct to protect my brother, I slip inside the car and pull the door closed. Surprisingly, he waits for me to fasten my seatbelt before driving forward.
He looks over at me for a
second. “You look nice. I’m glad to see you didn’t let yourself go.”
Right on cue, I can taste the anger he brings out of me. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
He shrugs a little. “Well, I have to admit, I was a pretty surprised you tried to take your own life over me.” He smirks at me before returning his attention to road ahead. “I didn’t realize I meant that much to you.”
“If you think I tried to kill myself over you, you’re dumber than I thought.”
He scoffs. “Why else would you do it?”
“You ruined my life, Sean,” I cry.
That uninterested look is still plastered on his face. “It’s not like you said no.”
I clench my fist. “I was sixteen when this all started. I was young, and I thought you loved me.” I laugh. “How stupid was that?”
He gives me a sideways glance, but doesn’t respond. I clutch his phone in my hand as if it’s my lifeline. If he knew there was nothing on it, I’m not sure what he would do.
“You going to give me back what belongs to me?” He looks over at me again, holding my gaze for a beat longer than I can handle.
“I told you I would.”
He chews on the inside of his cheek, contemplating his next question. “Are you ready to come home or are you going to continue to run from something you know you can’t fight?” His eyes lock with mine once more. “I’m not going to live without you.”
His eyes are black again. I can see that clearly now. Familiar fear creeps its way inside of me and it’s already harder to breathe.
“That’s too bad.”
My words seem to frustrate him further, and he presses the accelerator. The car breezes past the next street and then the next. When we make it to the edge of the neighborhood, he takes the turn for the highway on ramp.
My hand drifts to hold on to the center console. “Sean, where are we going?”
He ignores me, pulling onto the highway and merging to the middle lane. He’s still driving far too fast for a normal flow of traffic.
“I need to think,” he says, distracted.