by D M Barrett
“Promise that you won’t ask a living soul if they already know about it and we’ll have a deal,” Preacher Mann said.
“I promise. I wouldn’t even tell that Lewis girl if she got me drunk and offered indiscretions,” Jack Wright announced with a laugh.
“I’m not worried about that,” Preacher Mann replied.
“Do you think I’m too old?” Jack Wright asked.
“I’m convinced that if Frankie Wright catches you drinking moonshine with that Lewis girl that she will kill you. If that happens, my business will be safe,” the preacher said.
Before Jack Wright could respond, a very frustrated and tearful Nurse Bilbrey walked through the front door of Discount Grocery. She was carrying a large garment box and moving briskly.
“We’ve got to take this wedding dress to SheMammy before we go to Cookeville and get that wedding license!” the county nurse exclaimed.
“I don’t have a confidentiality agreement with her,” Jack Wright whispered to the preacher.
“Jack Wright, if you gossip my business all over Ferguson, I’ll tell Frankie Wright that the Lewis girl is pregnant with your child!” Nurse Bilbrey yelled.
“That’s not true. It’ll prove up that it’s not true. She’s not even pregnant,” Jack Wright objected.
“It won’t matter. I’ll be preaching your funeral before the truth comes out,” Preacher Mann explained.
“I’ll not tell a living soul and I won’t ask if anyone knows,” the merchant said.
“What’s wrong with the dress?” Preacher Mann asked.
“The zipper is broken,” Nurse Bilbrey said.
“How did that happen?” the preacher inquired.
“Bad question,” Jack Wright said under his breath.
“It happened because I’ve been eating too many big breakfasts with a local nosy, big-mouthed preacher!” the nurse said loudly.
“I’ve got one question?” Jack Wright said.
“Be careful. That last question I asked got me into big trouble,” the preacher cautioned.
“When’s the wedding?” Jack Wright asked bluntly.
“Next week,” the preacher replied.
“Wow! That’s short notice – even for Ferguson,” the merchant opined.
“We’re eloping!” Nurse Bilbrey announced.
“Where are you getting married? Where are you spending your honeymoon? When are you returning?” Jack Wright asked in rapid succession.
“Beth, you can stay here and be interviewed by the cub reporter or we can get that dress to SheMammy and go to the courthouse for the license,” Preacher Mann said gently.
“The interview is over,” Nurse Bilbrey said as she marched toward the store entrance.
“I’ll fill you in later,” Preacher Mann whispered as he turned and followed the county nurse.
* **
“What do you mean you can’t fix it?” Nurse Bilbrey asked loudly to Clayton Martin.
“I don’t mean it can’t ever be fixed. That’s a thirty-inch white zipper. I’ll have to order another. It could take two weeks to get here,” SheMammy said apologetically.
As tears began to appear in Nurse Bilbrey’s eyes, the preacher decided that it was time to intervene. After all, it would be at least a month or so before an alternative wedding time could be arranged.
“Leave the dress with Clayton. He can repair it properly. We won’t need it until the reception. We’re eloping where no one will actually know either of us,” Preacher Mann offered.
“What am I supposed to wear to the ceremony? Am I going to have to get married in the nude?” Nurse Bilbrey asked in frustration.
“I wasn’t expecting to hear anything like that,” SheMammy said pretending to cover his ears with his hands.
“I didn’t know that was an option,” the preacher said as the two men laughed.
“Tom, get to the car. Let’s get that marriage license before I change my mind,” Nurse Bilbrey said in frustration as she opened SheMammy’s front door.
“It’s a long story. I’ll tell Jack Wright to fill in the details after we start our trip,” Preacher Mann whispered and made his way to the door.
* **
It was only about a twenty-minute drive from Ferguson to Cookeville. After parking the car, the couple made their way into the office of the Putnam County clerk.
“We’re getting married and need a license,” Preacher Mann explained.
“Are you the groom and the preacher?” the clerk asked with a big smile.
“Is that sort of thing possible?” Nurse Bilbrey asked.
“It’s possible. He just can’t be the preacher and one of the two witnesses,” the clerk responded.
“Is the license good anywhere in the state of Tennessee?” the preacher inquired.
“It’s valid in any of the forty-eight states if you’re married by a minister of the gospel. It’s only valid in Tennessee if you’re married by a civil official. It has to be filed here once the ceremony is performed,” the clerk explained.
“We’ll complete the application and return in a few minutes,” Nurse Bilbrey replied.
“Take your time. You may decide to tear it up and stay single,” the county clerk said with a laugh.
“Ouch,” the preacher said.
“Pray hard. I need strength to make it through the wedding. I’m not worried about the marriage,” the county nurse remarked.
“Indeed,” the preacher said.
“I filled out all the relevant information like names, addresses, dates of birth, etc. It asks about previous marriages and I’ll put one for me and none for you. You know about me becoming a widower,” Preacher Mann reported.
“I didn’t realize they asked for that sort of information,” Nurse Bilbrey said with a shocked look.
“I’m sure that it’s for statistical purposes. I doubt there is any prohibition on granting a license. But, there are a lot of conservative preachers that won’t marry a couple when one of them has a living ex-spouse,” Preacher Mann said.
“What is your policy?” Nurse Bilbrey asked.
“I perform the ceremony. It cuts down on fornication. I leave the rest in the Lord’s hands,” Preacher Mann replied with a smile.
“What’s your policy on marrying a woman who’s been previously married?” Nurse Bilbrey asked.
“I just explained that,” Preacher Mann said with a puzzled look.
“I mean that I’ve had a previous marriage,” the county nurse replied.
Preacher Mann looked up from the application and looked directly at Nurse Bilbrey and said, “You never mentioned that to me.”
“That’s not an answer,” Nurse Bilbrey said.
“I’m sorry but I need to hear the details. Surely you can understand that,” the preacher said apologetically.
“When I graduated from nursing school, our class threw a huge party. There was lots of eating, drinking, dancing, and total revelry. As a joke, I participated in a mock wedding ceremony with a medical student that held tremendous affection for me. The news spread across the campus that we had gotten married. My father was ready to kill the two of us,” Nurse Bilbrey explained.
“Was the marriage consummated?” the preacher asked.
“There was no honeymoon,” the county nurse replied as she gave a squinted look at the preacher.
“That’s not a response. Did you engage in sexual intercourse?” Preacher Mann insisted.
“Do you need to hear some lurid details to satiate your carnal lust?” Nurse Bilbrey asked accusingly.
“Tennessee does not permit the formation of common-law marriages. However, under the doctrine of comity, common-law marriages formed in other states may be recognized in this state.
In Alabama, a common-law, or non-ceremonious civil or religious marriage, can occur if certain conditions are met. In your case, the applicable conditions are: the couple intends to be married, the couple holds themselves out as being married, and the marriage is consummated,” Preacher
Mann explained.
“My father checked with a Birmingham lawyer and received the same information. In an abundance of caution, he paid for and obtained an annulment for us,” Nurse Bilbrey explained.
“An annulment is retroactive. It declares that the marriage is null and void. It means it never took place,” Preacher Mann said.
“What does that mean in your situation?” Nurse Bilbrey asked timidly.
“It means that I’m sticking with the original answer. I have one previous marriage and you have no previous marriages,” Preacher Mann said.
“The answer is no,” the county nurse announced.
“You mean we’re not getting married?” Preacher Mann asked with astonishment.
“No, the marriage wasn’t consummated,” she reported.
“Well, this one will be,” the preacher said as he stood up, made his way to the clerk’s counter, and awaited the issuance of the license.
“He’ll need to eat his Wheaties. That’s the breakfast of champions,” Nurse Bilbrey mused while she waited nearby.
* * *
“Did you get the license?” Jack Wright asked as the couple entered Discount Grocery.
The preacher waived the marriage license for Jack Wright to see. Nurse Bilbrey made a silent clapping motion with her hands.
“Where is the wedding going to be held?” the merchant queried.
“In Gatlinburg on Saturday,” Nurse Bilbrey responded.
“That’s not good,” Jack Wright said shaking his head.
“What’s not good: the date, the location, or the fact that it’s not being held in Ferguson?” the preacher asked pointedly.
“They’re giving three inches of snow and an ice storm in that area. It’s bad weather from Knoxville to the east. We’re not a part of this one,” Jack Wright announced.
“Is that official or is that from your Crab Orchard weather prophet?” Preacher Mann inquired.
“It’s being announced on WNOX-AM. It’s supposed to start late Friday and continue through the weekend,” the merchant replied.
“I’m on the verge of a mental breakdown. Maybe we should stick with the original plan of late May,” Nurse Bilbrey suggested fighting back tears.
“Let’s talk about it. Maybe we can figure something out. Don’t despair, Beth,” the preacher comforted.
“I’ve got a suggestion,” Jack Wright offered.
“What is it?” Nurse Bilbrey asked.
“You can take a trip to Paris,” the storekeeper said.
“We can take a sea cruise, cross the straits of Gibraltar, and honeymoon in the south of France. Afterward, we can visit Paris and see the Eiffel Tower and the Arc de Triomphe. We’ll dine on the bistro,” Preacher Mann said with a slight degree of sarcasm.
“I can’t be away from my duties for six to eight weeks. But, I like your thinking, Tom,” Nurse Bilbrey said with a large smile.
“I mean Paris, Tennessee, down in Henry County. My brother owns a high-dollar hotel there. It’s even got a heated swimming pool. I can get you the bridal suite. It’s got a two-person heart-shaped tub,” Jack Wright explained.
“That sounds promising,” Nurse Bilbrey opined.
“Indeed,” the preacher replied.
“I’ve got another good idea,” the merchant said.
“I’m listening cautiously,” the preacher remarked.
“Get married in Ferguson and have your honeymoon in Paris,” Jack Wright replied.
“I don’t know about that. We were trying to . . .” Nurse Bilbrey said before being interrupted by the store owner.
“Hear me out. Get Brother Josh to perform the ceremony early Saturday morning. Just invite the local business folks and the deacons. I’d invite Henry and Lucy Wooden, too,” Jack Wright suggested.
“Say on,” the preacher said.
“It’s about 200 miles from here to Paris, Tennessee. If you leave here by 9:00 am, you’ll be feasting on catfish from the Tennessee River for supper,” the merchant opined.
“Tom, that’s a beautiful, scenic area in Henry, Lyon, and Trigg counties. It’s called Land Between the Lakes. It’s the country’s largest inland peninsula,” Nurse Bilbrey reported.
“It’s rural enough for you two to go cavorting,” Jack Wright offered.
“What does he mean by that?” Nurse Bilbrey asked.
“He’s suggesting that we will be able to apply ourselves enthusiastically to physical, romantic pursuits,” the preacher responded.
“I don’t have anything to wear,” Nurse Bilbrey responded.
“According to his way of thinking, you won’t need anything,” the preacher replied.
“I mean for the wedding. I don’t have a wedding dress,” the county nurse lamented.
“Get Miss Ruby to sell you some of her new, fashionable clothes for the trip. She can alter them as needed. Get at least one or two that show a little leg. Here’s $100,” the preacher said as he handed a roll of bills to his fiancé.
Mimicking SheMammy Martin, Jack Wright pretended to put his hands over his ears and said, “Oh my! I just wasn’t prepared to hear that!”
“Listen carefully to this, Jack Wright. Reserve that bridal suite for the entire week starting Saturday,” Nurse Bilbrey instructed.
“I guess we can tell future generations that we spent our honeymoon in Paris,” the preacher chuckled.
“Come on, let’s go,” Nurse Bilbrey ordered.
“Where are we going?” Preacher Mann asked.
“You’re headed over to the meetinghouse. You’re telling Josh to quietly invite the guests and get prepared for a wedding on Saturday,” the county nurse explained.
“I’m not sure he’s ever performed a wedding.
“He’ll never learn any younger,” the county nurse replied.
“Where are you going?” the preacher inquired.
“I’m going to Miss Ruby’s dress shop to spend your money. If you complete your assignment, I’ll buy you a house salad for lunch at Miss Rosie’s,” Nurse Bilbrey promised.
“A house salad?” the preacher said somewhat surprised.
“You’re getting a little spare tire around your waist. It’s time for you to trim up,” the nurse said as she left Discount Grocery.
“Bossy little thing,” Preacher Mann said.
“Wait till you’ve been married a few years. You ain’t seen nothin’ yet,” Jack Wright predicted.
* **
After almost fainting the young preacher agreed to perform the ceremony early on Saturday morning. He alerted all the invited guests including Henry and Lucy Wooden.
The wedding went flawlessly. After congratulations and best wishes from the guests, the couple began their journey to Paris.
Neither Preacher Mann nor Nurse Bilbrey would give any details about their honeymoon in Henry County. When anyone asked they would simply smile and glance at each other.
It was noted in Preacher Mann’s journal that upon their return from their honeymoon they visited Dr. Marcus Whitman and obtained some anti-itch lotion from Joe Scott. It seems that the couple was treated for poison oak on parts that aren’t normally exposed in a wooded area.
17.
Evergreen
Preacher Mann and his new bride, Nurse Bilbrey, awoke to the sound of loud knocking on their honeymoon suite door. A strong male voice said, “Preacher, you’ve got a phone call.”
“Who is this?” Nurse Bilbrey asked sleepily.
“It’s Joe Wright. I’m Jack Wright’s brother. My wife checked you in on Saturday night,” the innkeeper replied.
“There’s no doubt about him being Jack’s brother. He knocks like him and he sounds like him,” the preacher remarked.
“He gets up with the chickens like him, too,” Nurse Bilbrey remarked.
“Tell Jack that we will get bathed, dressed, and call him within the hour,” Preacher Mann said loudly.
“I will but he said it was a near emergency,” Joe Wright said.
“Something is eith
er emergent or it’s not. What’s a near emergency?” Nurse Bilbrey asked.
“That’s Jack Wright’s way of saying it is urgent,” the preacher explained.
“Why doesn’t he just say urgent?” Nurse Bilbrey inquired.
“He hasn’t made it to the letter ‘U’ in the dictionary,” the preacher remarked as he made his way to the shower.
“I’ll be there in a minute,” Nurse Bilbrey remarked.
“Why the delay?” the preacher asked with a chuckle.
“I’m selecting the absolute shortest dress that I bought from Miss Ruby,” the nurse replied.
“Take your time,” the preacher replied.
* **
Preacher Mann and Nurse Bilbrey walked out the door of the bridal suite. The preacher locked the door while taking a long look at the nurse’s dress selection.
“That dress is pretty short,” the preacher remarked.
“It’s the length of the ones that Miss Ruby ships to New York for wear by fashionable ladies,” the county nurse replied.
It looks to be about three inches above your knees when you are standing. Nobody will be listening to my sermons when you take a seat. You’ll need to have Miss Ruby sew a ruffle on it for Ferguson,” Preacher Mann stated.
“You’ll just have to improve the quality and delivery of your sermons on the Sunday that I wear this dress,” Nurse Bilbrey opined.
“No doubt,” the preacher replied.
“Come in folks. I saw you talking through the glass door and placed a call to Jack. The operator is getting Discount Grocery now,” Joe Wright said as he motioned them toward the telephone.
“This is Preacher Mann. What’s the Ferguson emergency?” the preacher asked.
“Brother Josh has been shot but the bullet just grazed his forehead,” Jack Wright reported in a somewhat breathless fashion.
“Was the sermon that bad?” Preacher Mann asked knowing that if Josh Sullivan was seriously injured they’d be talking to Dr. Marcus Whitman.
“I’m serious. He had to have three stitches and he’s wearing a bandage,” the storekeeper urged.
“What’s the emergency?” Nurse Bilbrey asked.