He’d seemed serious the last time he’d apologized. Right after I’d gotten out of jail. I'd forgiven him, and then we'd ended up having sex...again. And he'd behaved like a total asshole...again.
I didn’t know if I could trust him this time.
Fuck that, I knew I couldn't trust him.
But still...I wanted to.
Getting up, I walked over to him. His gaze slid up to meet mine and I studied him before speaking. “Let’s say, for argument’s sake, that I’m willing to believe you’re serious. What exactly do you want from me? It’s not like I’m going to quit. I wouldn't do that to Isadora.”
To my surprise, he reached out and took my hand. He tugged gently and I resisted for a moment before letting him pull me down until I was sitting on the arm of the chair, my legs against his. That was all the contact between us, save for the casual intimacy of my hand in his, but it was too much. My body reacted the same as if he had slid a hand up my skirt and touched me. I compromised, pulling my hand away but not moving from the chair.
“I just want to start over. I want to show you I’m not the asshole I’ve been in the past...” His words trailed off and he looked away.
“Since the first moment we met,” I supplied. Yes, things had gotten worse after Isadora's disappearance, but Ash hadn't exactly been the nicest guy in the world to me from moment one.
“Yeah.”
He surprised me with the admission, but I didn't comment on it.
Silence grew between us. He looked exhausted. Something inside my heart loosened. I couldn’t imagine the stress he was dealing with, the fear. I liked Isadora, but I’d only known her a little while. She was his little sister. If anyone could understand overprotective brothers, it was me.
I mean, mine had been ready to kick Ash's ass when he'd had me arrested. Kory had been ready to fly back to New York from where he lived in Michigan to get a piece of Ash once he'd heard about it.
And it had to be worse for Ash. My brothers all sometimes acted like they were my parents instead of siblings, especially the oldest one, Deacon, but Ash had a right to feel that way about Isadora. He'd raised her since their parents died when she was seven. For thirteen years, everything he'd done had been to protect her, to keep her safe, and now, she was gone and there was nothing he could do.
“Okay.”
Ash lifted his head and his eyes met mine. I held his gaze for a moment, and then slid off the arm of the chair and went back to the couch. I had my laptop open, a practice test pulled up on the screen. I read the question and selected an answer, unsure if I'd managed to pick the right one.
I glanced up at him. “We can try again. Clean slate. But Ash, I’m not kidding. Jerk me around again and I won't stop my brothers from coming after you. You haven’t seen anything until you’ve seen them pissed off.”
“Got it.” His ghost of a smile only added to the strain on his face.
He stood up and started toward the door. Every step, every movement seemed weighted down.
“How long has it been since you've had a decent night’s sleep?” The words popped out of me without me realizing I planned to ask them.
Ash paused, thinking. “Only once since Isadora was taken.”
He glanced at me over his shoulder and I knew which night that had been because it had been my only good night's sleep since then too.
“How long since you’ve had a decent meal?”
He laughed and shook his head. “I'm not sure.”
I was going to regret this, I knew, but my heart was aching for him. “Why don’t you hang around a while? I haven't had lunch yet.” Hesitating just a bit, I added, “I have something I need to tell you anyway.”
***
“A ghost.”
Lifting my shoulders in a shrug, I said, “That’s what Vic tells me. He doesn’t exactly run with the same crowd he used to, but he knows people. He knows a lot of people. He’s asked around, shown the picture. The guy doesn’t have any kind of online footprint, no known visual presence. Nothing.”
“The cops would have run his face through facial recognition software, too,” he said after a few minutes of silence. “It can take a while, but by now, we should have had something.”
“How can a guy not have any sort of presence? Driver’s license, tickets, passport...something?”
“I don’t know.” The look he gave me was grim and intense. “But I don’t think it means anything good.”
Before I could say anything else, my phone rang. Excusing myself to answer it, I slid out of the room and ducked into the only place that afforded any privacy in my simple studio apartment – the bathroom. Leaning back against the counter of the sink, I listened as my mother invited me for dinner. Again.
“No, Mom.” I smiled despite how tired I was of her matchmaking attempts. For most people, a twenty-four-year-old single woman focusing on her career was normal. For Mom, it meant she'd never get to help me plan my wedding. “I’m sure Hank is a perfectly nice guy, but I don’t need help meeting men, I promise.”
There was an odd pause.
Moms might have a weird sense when it comes to their kids, but I think kids – even us grown-up ones – have a similar sense. It’s the oh, shit sense. The one that starts to tingle like a Spidey sense when they let something slip or did something that somehow their mothers picked up on.
Mine was screaming now. The problem was that I didn’t know exactly what it was I’d done that had made her ‘mom alert’ flare up.
“You’ve met somebody.” Her voice was sly and soft.
“What?” I lowered the phone and stared at it, confused. That was my mom’s number. She'd called me. Her single daughter who hadn't had a serious boyfriend since Greg McKinney dumped me my freshman year of college. “No, I haven’t.”
“Yes, you have.” She was insistent. “This is the first time in years that I’ve tried to set you up and your response hasn't been some form of Mom, I don't have time for a relationship right now. You just told me that you found a guy on your own.”
“No, I didn't.” I shook my head despite the fact that she couldn’t see me. What was she talking about?
“You did. You said you don’t need help to find a guy, which means you've already found one.”
“I did not.” I still protested, but Ash’s face was looming in my mind. His mouth. His hands. The way his eyes softened when he looked at me. The way everything in me softened when I looked at him. Shoving him out of my head, I reached for the humor that was one of my first defenses when it came to deflection. “Come on, Mom. Don’t you think I would've introduced you by now if I’d met somebody? Especially after my little stint as a jailbird.”
“Don’t joke about that,” she said automatically. But her tone had changed. She sounded a little less sure of herself.
Good.
“I’m not joking. If I were with somebody, one of the first people I would have called that night would've been him. He would have been there waiting when I got out of jail and he would have met the boys.”
Except Ash had been there. He had met my brothers...
That's not the same thing, I quickly told myself.
I didn't want to have this conversation. “Mom, I appreciate the offer, really, but even if you weren’t trying to set me up, I wouldn’t be able to come. I’m behind on work and I need to start looking into my summer semester classes.”
The rest of the call wrapped up quickly, though not quickly enough for me.
A look at my phone said nearly twenty minutes had passed and I grimaced as I slid out of the bathroom. The apartment was almost eerily quiet. Ash must have left. I couldn’t say I blamed him. If it had been anybody but my mother, I would have ended the conversation a lot sooner, but she was my mother. I'd never do that.
I came to a halt just a few steps into the room.
Ash was sprawled out on my couch. His face and body were relaxed, his breathing slow and regular.
He'd fallen asleep.
“Ash?”
I said his name softly.
He didn’t even stir.
Blowing out a breath, I glanced over at my work and shrugged. I could work with a guy sleeping a few feet away. It'd be a lot like being back home with my brothers again.
Except what I felt for Ash wasn't even close to how I felt for my brothers. There was definitely nothing familial about it.
***
Twilight was spreading across the city when he finally started to stir.
I didn't know if the ten hours he’d slept on my couch had finally been enough, or if the smell of food drifting through the studio was what finally penetrated his exhausted daze.
I jabbed at the tofu I had browning in the wok. I wasn’t vegetarian, but tofu was good for the budget. When I was in the mood for Chinese or Indian, it worked in a pinch. Tonight, I was craving curry and the scent of it had my mouth watering and my belly grumbling in demand.
The couch creaked as he stretched and I glanced at him. The confusion on his features shifted into stark surprise when his gaze landed on me.
“Good morning, or rather, good evening.” I gestured at the clock. “You’ve been asleep going on ten hours now.”
Ash blinked at me. Then, in a surge of energy, he shot upright. “Did you say ten hours?”
“Yep.” I nodded at his phone. It had been on the table where he’d put it when he came in. He must have silenced it before he came inside. “You’ve had both phone calls and texts. The texts were all from your administrative assistant. The basic summary is that she has things under control, and she hopes you changed your mind and decided to take the day off to rest. I didn’t respond to those. Doug contacted you several times and I finally did answer one from him to let him know you’d swung by here and then pretty much passed out on my couch.” I softened my voice to add, “Nothing about Isadora.”
He stared at the phone and then looked at me. “How'd you get into my phone? It’s password protected.”
“Yeah. With your sister’s date of birth.” I gave him a stern look. “There’s a warning about that kind of thing for a reason, Ash.”
“I...” He frowned as if he had no idea what he wanted to say. He looked still muddled by sleep, almost hung over. “Thanks for letting me crash here.”
“You needed the sleep.” I shrugged.
His voice was quiet as he spoke, “I can’t sleep. I see a million things that could be happening to her. A thousand thugs and a hundred bad outcomes. I can’t shut it off.”
I gave the food cooking in the pot one final stir.
“I better go.” He stood.
I made my decision.
“Why don’t you sit down?” I gestured to my small table. “There’s enough for both of us. You can have a meal and relax for a little while.”
Chapter 3
Toni
We had a nice night, a decent meal, and good conversation. He stayed until late that night. Still, the next morning as I headed over to the Lang house, I couldn’t help the nervous feeling in my gut.
I was giving Ash the benefit of the doubt. I had to if we were going to make this work. This 'professional' relationship we were going to have.
I had hours’ worth of work ahead of me that could keep me occupied, and a small scheduling window to keep me busy over my lunch hour, so even if Ash did stay home, I wasn’t going to spend an untold amount of time caught up in his spell again.
I had work.
I had a life.
I had school to finish and then a career to begin.
I didn’t have time for an obsession with a man who swung hot and cold. A man who, despite what he told me, I couldn't trust.
He was already gone when I arrived and I was grateful for that. Doug was there along with several more staff members than I was used to seeing. I could tell by their grim faces there'd been no news overnight. It took me a moment to realize that I wasn't disappointed because I hadn't even hoped for anything different.
“Mr. Lang has us watching the phones and the house,” Doug said, his voice somber.
I put my hand on his arm and gave it a squeeze. “She'll be back soon.” I gave him a comforting smile before heading for the living room.
I hated this. Hated the situation, my complete lack of control. I hated that I hadn’t been able to do anything to protect Isadora. No, it hadn’t been my job, but I still felt responsible. I hadn't been able to do anything to help her or to help Ash.
And it pissed me off.
I liked being the one with answers, the one who helped people. Hell, that was why I wanted to go into psychology, to help people.
And I couldn't. I couldn't help Ash. I couldn't help Isadora. The kidnapper hadn’t called, hadn’t reached out to us, hadn’t...
“Us,” I whispered as I chuckled bitterly.
There was no us.
There was just Ash, and to some extent the staff here at the Lang household. And Isadora’s boyfriend who I hadn't met yet.
I wasn’t part of this.
Not really.
***
Twenty minutes into my lunch break and I was already going blind.
I'd just finished scheduling the last couple classes I needed and figured I'd try to get ahead on the required readings. I'd always been a good student, with an excellent memory and great comprehension skills. So studying usually wasn't an issue.
But usually, I wasn’t stressed out like I this.
I’d been going over the same material for the past twenty minutes and I had yet to make any progress. Frustrated, I hurled my pen down just as a knock came to the door. Caught off guard, I jumped and my elbow hit the glass of water I’d poured. I caught it, barely, but some of it splashed out and I swore.
“Miss Toni? Is everything alright in there?” Doug called through the door.
“It’s fine,” I said, irritation clear in my voice. “Come on in, Doug.”
The door opened to reveal him standing there in his severe suit of black and white. His eyes scanned the room before coming to rest on me as I mopped up the splashes of water with a couple of tissues. “Is everything well?”
“Oh, sure. I’m just a klutz.”
A faint smiled appeared on his face. “Of course you’re not.” He held up a phone. “Mr. Lang is on the phone. Are you available?”
“Ah...” I looked down at myself. “I guess I am.”
Doug passed the phone off to me and I lifted it to my ear, my belly fluttering. I hated the way I reacted to the simple sound of his name. If life had been fair, I wouldn’t have reacted with anything but boredom or irritation to it at this point. But my heart raced and my body went tight. And everything in me just...wanted.
You’ve met somebody, my mother had said.
No. I really hadn’t.
But I wanted somebody.
I closed my eyes. “Hello?”
“Toni. How are you?”
The sound of his voice shouldn’t have set my heart to racing the way it did. It shouldn’t have made me ache and want and wish. But it did. Still, I managed to keep my voice neutral and calm as I answered, “I’m fine. How are you?”
“I’m...getting by.”
I could appreciate the honesty of the answer. He hadn’t offered a polite lie, nor had he unloaded everything. “I guess that’s all you can do in a situation like this, isn’t it?”
“At his point, yes.” He blew out a sigh. “Listen, I was wondering if maybe you’d join me for dinner tonight.”
My heart tripped inside my chest. I could practically feel the stuttering beats before it slowed to a complete and total halt for a period of maybe three counts. “Ah, dinner?”
“Yes. You were kind enough to feed me last night. I wanted to repay the favor.”
“It was just tofu and curry.” Keeping my voice light, I tried to shrug off my desire to say yes. To anything. To everything. “It’s not like I wasn’t eating anyway.”
“It was more than tofu and curry, Toni.” His voice was short. “But if you don’t want to eat dinner wit
h me, I understand.”
If I didn't want to.
Yeah, right.
But I shouldn’t. There was no question about that. But that didn’t keep me from answering the way I wanted to.
“Yeah, Ash. I think I can do dinner.” I hesitated only a second before I added, “I can’t stay late, though. I’m falling behind on stuff and I can’t do that.”
“Understood.”
***
I finished everything I’d planned to get done for the day by two so I jotted down the hours. I’d been tracking my time on a pad of paper since I wasn’t sure what to do with my hours since Isadora had been kidnapped.
I hadn’t been paid at all since I’d started working and I wasn’t sure how to address that. It felt odd talking to Ash about it, but I couldn’t go much longer without a check. The Winter Corporation had placed me with Isadora, but she was my employer, not them. And she wasn’t here.
Brooding as I counted up the hours, I tried to figure out the best way to approach things, but I hadn’t found a resolution by the time the door opened in the foyer. I heard Doug’s low, polite voice, and knew that Ash was home.
I kept my attention focused on the pages and notes neatly arranged in front of me, even when his footsteps stopped in the doorway. I didn’t look up right away. Mentally, I counted to ten, then fifteen, before I glanced up, keeping it casual, then blinking in surprised when I saw him. “Oh. Hey.”
Ash stepped inside the room. “Hey.”
I offered him a faint smile before looking back down at the desk.
There was nothing here that I could even pretend was important. Not for long anyway. But I had to pretend like I hadn't been thinking about seeing him all day.
After a few more seconds of faked activity, I made a show of shuffling papers and then smiled up at him. “I’m pretty much done.”
“Good.” He tapped his briefcase against his thigh and came deeper into the room. “You know, it’s...nice having you be here...for Isadora.”
“I...” Pursing my lips, I tried to figure out the right way to respond. “I’m just doing my job.”
“Your job isn’t taking care of my sister, or trying to. Part of why you’re here is because you’re worried about her. You don’t have to be here. You don’t even have to keep working for her. But you’re doing it.” His green eyes were intense. “You don’t have to care or try to help. But you’re doing it. Thank you.”
Blindfold Vol. 4: Alpha Billionaire Romance Page 2