“Feel it,” he whispered as his fingers traced around my breast. “Accept the pain, don’t fight it. It’s only reminding you that you’re alive. Welcome it.”
One part of me wanted to twist his balls in my hands and ask him to embrace the pain. Now, I understood why he’d tied me up. Another part, though, felt the pain morph into something deeply sensual. My body was on high alert. I could feel everything.
He slid down my body, using his knees to push my legs apart until he was laying between them.
“I think I'll want you to wear these out in public some time.” Cade ran his finger down the length of my slit. “We'll go someplace nice and I'll take you right there, slide inside you while people are all around us.”
I made a noise as his finger dipped between my folds. It circled my entrance, then moved up to move around my clit, never quite touching it.
“I can imagine it,” he said. “The sounds you'd try to keep in.” His finger slid inside me and my body jerked, still sensitive from the previous play. “The way your pussy would grip me.”
My back arched as he ran his tongue over my sensitive flesh. I tugged at the restraints, wanting to bury my hands in his hair and press his face against me. Still, I didn't even consider freeing myself. There was something to be said for relinquishing control.
“Would I be able to make you lose control?” He added a second finger. “Make you forget everything but the sensation of me inside you? Filling you, pressing against all those places inside of you that make you scream my name.”
He curled his fingers and rubbed against my g-spot. I cried out, my hips bucking up. He chuckled as he put a hand on my stomach, pushing me back down against the mattress. His tongue flicked the top of my clit and I swore. The restraints tightened around my wrists, sending a twinge of pain along muscles that were starting to burn. The sensations mingled with the dull ache in my nipples. Then there was the pleasure coursing up through me from his fingers and his mouth on my clit. I closed my eyes, unable to process all of the varying forms of stimulation.
I hovered on the edge of an orgasm and then the hand on my stomach slid up to my breasts. He flicked one of the clothespins, sending a jolt of pain down through me.
“Fuck!”
A second flick knocked it off and I whimpered as the blood rushed back into my nipple. It hurt in that pins and needles way, like when a foot or hand fell asleep but more intensely. I barely had time to adjust before the second one was knocked off and Cade's fingers were massaging the swollen flesh. I didn't know if his touch made it worse or better, but then his lips closed around my clit and he started to suck.
I yelled his name as I came, waves of pleasure washing over me. Even while I was coming, his fingers slid out of me and then I felt one, slick with my own juices, rub against my asshole. The suction on my clit increased as he pushed his finger inside. My body convulsed, not knowing where to go or what to do. Pain and pleasure exploded and a second orgasm hit me hard enough to knock the wind out of me.
When I recovered enough to start dragging in deep breaths, Cade was leaning over me and untying my hands. He sat back on his knees as he began to massage my wrists and hands.
“That wasn't too much?”
I could hear the concern in his voice but couldn't manage more than a weak shake of my head. I felt similar to how it had been after the first time he'd spanked me, like I'd finally found someone who got it, who understood a side of me I hadn't really understood myself.
“Good,” he said. “Because we're not done.”
He helped me roll over and I winced as my sore nipples rubbed against the blanket. A definite downside to the things I liked was how uncomfortable certain parts of the anatomy got as the endorphins faded.
“One day,” he said. “I'm going to put you in this position and fuck your ass.” His hand ran down my spine and over the swell of my buttocks. “Not tonight though.” I heard a condom wrapper being opened. “I'm so hard, I wouldn't last more than thirty seconds inside your ass, and when I do it, I want you to enjoy it.”
If someone had asked me a few months ago about having anything in my ass, I would've turned red and sputtered something about how I didn't think so. Now, my world was being expanded and Cade's words were making me even wetter.
“Do you have any shoulder issues?”
The question startled me. “No, why?”
“Because if you did, this wouldn't be a good idea.”
Cade took my arms and brought them behind my back. My wrists crossed at the base of my spine and I felt the strip of fabric wrapping around them again.
“It's not tied,” he explained. “But it will hold. Say yellow if it's too much.”
“I will,” I promised.
I wasn't sure I understood why he thought this might be too much, but then his hands were on my hips, raising me onto my knees. I turned my head as my upper body remained on the bed. When I felt a hand curl around the tie linking my wrists together, I realized what he was going to do.
He yanked me up by my wrists as he snapped his hips forward and buried himself inside me with one thrust. My mouth opened but no sound came out. I couldn't think, couldn't breathe. And then he was pounding into me, each stroke harder than the last as he used my arms for leverage.
I wasn't sure when I started talking, but I became aware that words were mixed with the moans of pleasure. Cade. Fuck. Yes. More. Harder. There didn't really seem to be any sort of order, but they all boiled down to one thing. Every cell in my body was on fire and I never wanted it to stop.
“Come for me, Aubree,” Cade said, his voice breathless. “I want you to come from just my cock.”
If it happened it would be for the first time, but I was so worked up from everything that had come before that I could feel myself getting closer to the edge. The muscles in my arms were quivering, burning. My shoulders begged for relief. My throat was sore. My nipples ached and my pussy was feeling every thrust. I was aware of every inch as he moved inside me, rubbing against my walls, stretching me to the limit.
“Come, Aubree.”
I could feel Cade fighting against his body to maintain control. I could feel him thicken inside me.
“Please, baby.”
I didn't know if it was the 'please' or the 'baby' that got me, but everything coiled together inside me burst at his words. Every muscle tensed and Cade pulled back hard enough on my arms that it was almost too painful. I rode the sensation, letting the waves take me where they would, into the light and the dark, hovering at the edge of consciousness.
“Fuck, yes!” I groaned as my body went limp.
Cade let my front half slump onto the bed as he slammed into me, grinding against me as he came, roaring out his release. He stilled for a minute, his fingers digging into my hips as his cock throbbed inside me. Then he was easing out and lowering me to the blanket. I whimpered as he withdrew, my muscles still spasming as electrical impulses fired from overloaded nerves.
I closed my eyes, hearing Cade moving around before he settled behind me. He wrapped the blanket around us and pulled me against him. I could feel his heartbeat against my back and pulled his arm more tightly around me.
“Thank you,” Cade said as he kissed my temple.
“I think I should be thanking you,” I said, opening my eyes. “That was amazing.”
“Thank you for trusting me,” he said. “Even after everything I told you.”
I tilted my head back until I could see his face. “None of that matters. The past is the past.”
He kissed the top of my head. “I like having you here. It's special. A place just for us.”
“I like that I'm the only person you've brought here,” I admitted. “No ghosts.”
“I don't take clients to my condo either,” he said. “So we have two places where it's just us.”
I like that even better. I may be getting better with the whole not comparing me and Adelle thing, but as a girlfriend, I would be self-conscious in places where Cade had
fucked other women. I wanted to put as much distance as possible between that part of his life and where we were headed together.
“Guess this means I have to drop Adelle permanently from my client list.”
I rolled my eyes. “Funny.”
“We'll have to work out some sort of schedule,” he said thoughtfully. “We definitely don't work the same hours and while I can afford to cut back, I will need most weekends...”
I pulled out of his embrace and rolled onto my back so I was looking at him. A knot was forming in the pit of my stomach. This wasn't funny anymore. “What are you talking about?”
Cade gave me a puzzled look. “How we're going to schedule time to see each other between your teaching and my clients, of course. I don't exactly work a nine-to-five, Aubree.”
Chapter 8
I stared at him for almost a full minute, waiting for him to give me the punch line, to confess he'd taken his joke too far. Then his eyes met mine and I saw he wasn't kidding. My heart twisted, pain mingling with anger. I sat up, pulling his blanket over me.
“You're still going to be an escort?” The question sounded even harsher than I'd meant it, but I didn't take it back.
“It's my job, Aubree,” Cade said. He sat up, frowning. “I wouldn't ask you to quit your job.”
“My job doesn't involve me fucking other people!” I snapped. I climbed out of bed, yanking the blanket from underneath him. My eyes burned with tears but I refused to give in. Cade would think I was trying to manipulate him by crying. “You said you couldn't stand the thought of another man touching me. How do you think I'd feel, knowing you were doing a hell of a lot more than touching other women?”
He scowled, his eyes flashing. “Well, I'm sorry I don't have a college degree and a career as a lawyer or doctor to fall back on. You knew what I was. Should've just said then that I wasn't good enough for you.”
My jaw dropped and it took me a moment to find my voice. “When the hell did I ever say that?”
“Right now.” He climbed off of the bed and folded his arms across his chest. “You tell me you care about me, but you're just like the rest. You want me to be something I'm not. To pretend.”
I took a step toward him, my anger curbed by the pain I could hear in his voice. “I don't want you to be something you're not. I want you to be the man I see in you.”
He gave a bitter laugh. “Right, the man you want me to be.”
“Who I know you are,” I said firmly.
“You don't know me,” he snapped. “You think because we fucked and I told you some shit about my past that you know everything there is to know about me?”
“I know enough to know that you're better than this.”
“Bullshit.” He practically spat out the word. “You want to believe that because you think you're too good to fall for a whore. Too precious and pure for someone like me. So you convince yourself that there has to be more to me. The hooker with a heart of gold, right? Some fucking Hollywood fairy tale.”
I clutched the blanket more tightly to me. Why was he saying these things? What had happened to the man who'd told me that he cared about me? The one who'd made me feel things I'd never felt before?
“If I'd wanted to, don't you think I could've figured something out after nine years?” Cade's face was a cold mask, his words equally as icy. “Don't you think if I had any sort of marketable skill I would've used it to get out of this life years ago?” His mouth twisted. “This is what I'm good at. The only thing.”
“That's not true,” I protested. “You could do anything you want.”
“What if this is what I want?” he asked, his voice flat.
I took a step back. I hadn't even considered that. I'd assumed he'd kept being an escort because he didn't have a reason to stop. My heart gave a painful thump. I thought I would be that reason. I turned away from him so he couldn't see the tears spilling over.
I picked up my coat and pulled it on, wishing I had real clothes to wear. My bra was somewhere around here, but I wasn't going to look for it. I just needed something to cover me. I felt too exposed. It didn't, however, stop me from feeling the slick wet on my inner thighs, or prevent my sensitive skin from chafing against the coat. I wiped the back of my hands across my cheeks and took a deep breath before turning around.
I had to make him see what I saw. There was no way he wanted this. No matter what he said, I did know him. “You're a talented artist, Cade. And you're smart and sweet...”
“Smart and sweet?” He sneered. “How fucking naïve are you?”
I flinched but didn't back down. He was scared. That had to be it. “You could sell your work and I could help you until you get on your feet–”
“Get out.”
“What?” I shook my head. I couldn't have heard him right.
“We're done. Contract ended.” Cade took a step toward me, but there was no desire, no emotion in his eyes. “You got what you wanted, Bree.”
I caught my breath. He'd never called me Bree. Not once.
“I taught you how to fuck, how to seduce a man.” He gave me a tight, humorless smile. “And you got to try to save the whore. Too bad the whore doesn't want to be saved.”
I stepped back. I didn't want to hear this.
“I like who I am. What I do. Why would I want to give up fucking hundreds of gorgeous women and getting paid obscene amounts of money to do it?”
Each word was a blow and I couldn't stop the tears this time.
“Just get out.”
“You bastard,” I whispered. I turned toward the door, using all of my self-control not to run. I had to preserve at least that much of my dignity. I didn't have much left. Not after I'd bared my heart to him, let him do things to me I'd never considered doing. Shame and humiliation flooded me, mixing with anger and hurt until I wasn't sure I could handle feeling anything else. I needed to get as far away from here as possible. And I needed to forget I'd ever heard of Cade Shepard.
Chapter 9
I barely got out of bed for the rest of the weekend. I didn't curl up on the couch and watch chick-flicks or finish off the half-gallon of ice cream that was in the freezer. I didn't eat anything. I'd taken a shower when I'd gotten home, desperate to rid myself of the smell and feel of his body. I scrubbed myself harshly, trying to get him off, making my outside feel as raw as my insides. I'd taken out my comfy pajamas but then remembered what had happened the last time I wore them. Finally, I'd ended up just crawling into bed naked and rolling myself in my blankets until I'd been unable to move. I got up only when it was necessary and then just fell back into bed and burrowed under the covers.
When I finally crawled out of bed Monday morning, I felt worse than I'd ever felt before. Worse than when I'd had to face the wedding guests and tell them Ronald had left. Worse than when I'd found out my best friend had paid Cade to have sex with me. Worse, even, than finding out Adelle had still been sleeping with Cade. I'd thought I'd had my heart broken by Ronald, but this was beyond broken. I was shattered. It had taken me falling for Cade to realize what I'd been missing with Ronald for a long time. I'd trusted Cade with everything and had been prepared to walk away because he said he didn't get emotionally involved. But then he'd gone and gotten my hopes up. He'd made me think I was something more than a job to him.
I closed my eyes and took a slow, deep breath. “Pull yourself together, Bree. He isn't worth it.”
A pang went through me as I realized how much that sounded like what he'd said about me and about how he saw himself. It wasn't true though. I didn't think he wasn't good enough for me because of what he did. Good enough had nothing to do with it. He wasn't worth my tears not because of what he'd done, but because he'd chosen other women over me.
I looked in the mirror and winced. My eyes were bloodshot and swollen, my face puffy. My hair was a tangled mess that was going to take me twice as long as normal to get through. Worse, though, were the things I couldn't see. The way my body ached as if I'd spent the weekend doing an
intense work-out. The phantom feelings of his hands on me. The memory of how he'd felt inside me.
I climbed into the shower, letting the hot spray beat down on my aching muscles. I didn't really have the time to linger, but I pushed it anyway. The sound of the water was soothing white noise, helping to drown out thoughts I didn't want to entertain. I kept my mind virtually blank as I got ready for school, pushing back the thoughts as they came forward, memories of how Cade had commented on my wardrobe. I wished I had enough money to buy new clothes, not because I felt like I needed them but because I couldn't quite stop myself from thinking about how Cade had said I hid behind my work clothes.
“Fuck him,” I said the words to my reflection. I dabbed on a bit more concealer. “He doesn't know me.”
When I was finally convinced that I looked presentable, I was running late, but it had been worth it. I didn't want anyone knowing what had happened over the weekend, and I needed to be able to fool not only the kids and faculty, but Mindy as well. If she saw how completely miserable I was, she'd call Adelle and the two of them would have some sort of crazy intervention or something. I knew Mindy wasn't exactly thrilled about my arrangement with Cade, and while she'd never say 'I told you so,' it'd still be there. And, of course, I had no clue how Adelle would take things. Ever since the whole incident with her canceling her appointments with Cade, things had been a bit fragile between us. We were moving past it, but it didn't make things any less uncomfortable at times.
Maybe, I thought as I quickly gathered my things and headed out, me being finished with Cade would speed up the process. And that, I'd decided, was what I was going to tell them. Cade and I had ended our arrangement because I was done. There wasn't anything else he could teach me. And if Adelle asked if I minded her calling him again, I'd tell her to go right ahead. Cade would never tell her the truth about what had happened and if she wanted to fuck him, who was I to say no? In the end, I wasn’t any different than his other clients. I ignored the pain in my chest at the thought.
Blindfold Vol. 4: Alpha Billionaire Romance Page 13