by Penny Jordan
‘Here, you’d better put this on.’ She struggled absently into the shirt Jake had tossed across to her, too engrossed in the line her thoughts were taking to do more than note the sardonic undertone to his voice. Had she deliberately adopted an anti-nuclear stance because of Jake? But that was ridiculous! Every thinking human being knew the dangers of nuclear warfare, and she wasn’t the first woman to refuse to have a child because she didn’t want to risk her child in any holocaust…but still the nagging suspicion that somehow she had acted spitefully and childishly couldn’t be dismissed. It wasn’t pleasant, seeing herself in this light; in fact it was sufficiently disturbing to keep her silent all the way back to the shop, although Jake obviously put a different interpretation on her silence. ‘Sulking?’ he enquired succinctly, arching a dark eyebrow at her as the BMW slid to a smooth halt. ‘It’s not nice being aroused to the point where your body clamours for release, only to be told there’s none coming, is it, Kate?’ He leaned across her to open her door. ‘Goodnight, and sweet dreams.’
‘You keep on saying that,’ she managed chokily, as she unfastened the seat-belt and got out. Her damp clothes had left a cold damp patch against her skin, and she was shivering slightly.
‘Umm, but the only way I’m going to know if you’re having them is to have you sleeping in my bed.’
It was like a knife slid dexterously beneath the ribs and twisted. Her breath caught and held on the pain, on the memories flooding her mind; on the image of herself in Jake’s bed, sleeping in the protection of his arms. ‘I’ll never sleep with you again,’ she thrust at him tightly, wanting to hurt as he’d hurt her, but her strategy was disastrous and rebounded painfully on her when he returned calmly, ‘You’ll never be asked.’
CHAPTER SIX
‘YOU’RE LOOKING peaky, Kate, is something wrong?’
‘No, probably just the normal pre-Christmas rush. These trips to London get me down a bit. I’ll be okay.’ Kate gave Meg a weak smile, hoping that her friend wouldn’t probe any further. ‘Umm, talking of Christmas, it’s high time we did something about getting organised. Matt’s asked me to go up to the farm, and you’re included too.’
‘Thanks, Meg, but Christmas is essentially a family time. I’ll be quite happy on my own. I’ve been invited to several parties…’
‘But, Kate, what about Christmas Day?’ Meg was plainly concerned. ‘You can’t have Christmas dinner on your own!’
‘I’m not going to. I thought I’d ask Sarah to have dinner with me. She misses her family very much and she’s all on her own.’
‘Oh, Kate, an old woman? I’m not saying she’s not good company, but you should be spending Christmas with…’
‘With a man?’ Kate suggested dryly. ‘Oh, Meg, you’re a hopeless romantic—you know that, don’t you?’
‘Kate…’ Kate turned, frowning slightly as she saw the worried look on her friend’s face. ‘Look, I know it’s none of my business,’ Meg began uneasily, ‘but it’s all over the village. About you and Jake Harvey, I mean,’ she added hastily. ‘Now, please don’t get upset. After all, I know we’re in the nineteen-eighties, but some of the people round here…well…’
‘What are you trying to say, Meg?’ Kate asked evenly. A strange tension was building inside her, a presentiment of what her friend was about to say.
‘Well, it’s all over the village that you and Jake are lovers and…and…and you’ve been running after him, but that he doesn’t intend to offer you anything more than an affair.’ Meg looked at her unhappily. ‘I’m so sorry, Kate, and I can guess who’s responsible.’
‘Yes, so can I,’ Kate agreed in a low voice, remembering Rita’s face when she had found her with Jake. ‘I suppose that explains the sudden influx of customers we’ve had lately,’ she said in a tightly bitter voice. ‘Silly me, I thought they’d come to buy Christmas presents when in reality all they wanted to do was to get a good look at a real live fallen woman. I’m surprised the vicar hasn’t been round to lecture me on being a bad influence.’
‘Oh, Kate,’ Meg protested sympathetically, ‘I am sorry, but Woolerton is a small village, and you were seen…’
‘In Jake’s bedroom, wearing little more than Jake’s shirt,’ Kate agreed savagely. ‘Yes, pretty damning evidence, I suppose, especially when it’s been embellished the way Rita will no doubt have embellished it.’
‘She’s claiming that you stole Jake from her… that you gave him what she wouldn’t,’ Meg admitted. ‘Oh, look, I know it isn’t like that, that you…that if anyone was likely to behave like that it would be her but…’
‘Mud clings,’ Kate offered for her. ‘Oh yes, I know. No wonder I’ve been getting so many strange looks recently.’
It left a bitter taste in her mouth to know that people she had thought of as her friends had judged her so quickly and so falsely. And yet could she blame them? All the evidence was against her in so many ways. Illogically, in some way Kate felt as though she deserved their censure. Oh, she knew that legally she and Jake were still married, but the legal tie between them had had nothing at all to do with the way she had felt in his arms; with the physical responses of her body to his masculinity.
She had just finished serving a customer when the phone rang. ‘You haven’t forgotten that it’s the meeting of the Safety Committee tomorrow, have you?’ Kevin asked her when she picked it up.
She had! and she felt her stomach sinking nervily as she realised she would be called upon to face Jake again. ‘Now don’t try backing out on me,’ Kevin warned, accurately reading her mind. ‘You know what my memory’s like, and as for my handwriting—’ he gave a groan, ‘everything they say about the illegibility of doctors’ writing is true—I can’t read a word I write!’
Of course she couldn’t let Kevin down. The work of the Safety Committee was extremely valuable and surely so close to her heart that she wouldn’t jeopardise it, simply because she was too frightened to face Jake.
‘I’ll pick you up after lunch,’ Kevin went on. ‘Simon Radlett from Cumberdale is standing in for me. He’s as keen as we are to establish some sort of working relationship with the station, since some of the workers live on his patch.’
It was just after two o’clock when Kate heard Kevin’s car draw up outside. She was wearing the same suit and blouse she had worn on that fateful night at Jake’s. She had wavered over the choice, but it was the most suitable thing she had, and the wine stains had come out, thanks to Jake’s prompt action. Besides it was silly not to wear something just because it brought back a few bad memories, she told herself.
‘Very nice,’ Kevin admired when she opened the door, and turned to say goodbye to Meg, who was looking after the shop. As Kevin opened the car door for her Kate was conscious of the overt stares she was getting from two women on the other side of the road, and two brilliant coins of guilty colour came to life in her otherwise pale cheeks.
‘I suppose you’ve heard all about it?’ she asked Kevin tightly as she fastened her seat-belt. ‘Rita…’
‘Rita did come to me with some story about finding you with Jake, yes,’ Kevin agreed mildly, ‘but I haven’t lived on this earth for thirty odd years, my dear, without coming to realise that things aren’t always what they seem. I’m afraid, rather illogically perhaps for a doctor, I tend to trust my own judgments about people Kate, and whether you and Jake are or are not lovers doesn’t alter one iota my respect and admiration for you, although I must admit to a feeling of envy—in the former case,’ he added with a touch of humour. ‘Oh, don’t look like that,’ he urged her when he saw her face. ‘I’m not a complete fool, Kate. I’ve always known that you and I were too comfortable together to be anything other than friends.’
‘It wasn’t like Rita thinks,’ Kate gulped, dangerously close to tears. She had underestimated Kevin, and that made her feel guilty. He obviously was far more astute than she had realised. ‘I didn’t suppose for one moment it was,’ he agreed. ‘Rita has a tendency to see only what she wants
to see. She set her sights on Jake, and doesn’t want to admit that she took too much for granted. She’s made it too obvious locally that she considers him to be her property for her to back down gracefully and so she blames you for the break-up of their relationship. Personally I can only applaud Jake’s taste. You do know that he’s married?’ he asked evenly. ‘I only mention it because Rita didn’t. She came to me with some stupid story about him turning to you because…’
‘I was prepared to go to bed with him and she wasn’t—at least not without a marriage licence,’ Kate offered wryly, thinking to herself how farcical the situation really was. ‘Yes, I know about his marriage,’ she assured Kevin. There had been a hint of uncertainty in his eyes when he proffered the information and she guessed that he had been afraid that Jake might have kept her in the dark.
‘I only found out because Simon told me. He’d seen it on his medical records when they came to him. Ordinarily I wouldn’t have said anything, but having to sit there listening to Rita spout all that ridiculous garbage…’
‘I know why you told me, Kevin,’ she assured him quietly, ‘and I do appreciate it, but there’s nothing between Jake and me really. The situation has been blown up out of all proportion by Rita’s jealousy.’ She didn’t say any more, conscious of the fact that although she could explain away how she had come to be in Jake’s bedroom clad in his shirt, she had no valid reason for being at his house, alone with him, or at least not one she could offer Kevin, and she had no wish to lie to him.
‘Have you made any plans for Christmas?’ she asked him, changing the subject.
‘I’m on duty at the hospital. It gives the married medics a chance to spend some time with their families,’ he explained, adding with a grin, ‘Besides, I get to kiss all the pretty nurses. What about you?’
‘Nothing really. I’ve been invited to several parties. Meg is going up to the farm and she asked me to join them, but I feel I don’t really want to intrude, not at this stage, so I’m inviting Sarah round to have dinner with me. She’s on her own as well.’
‘Umm. She came into the surgery the other day, or rather Mrs Simmonds from the Post Office brought her in. She’d gone to collect her pension and while she was there Clara Simmonds noticed that she’d got a very nasty bruise on her arm. She banged into something—very hard, by the looks of it. She’s losing weight as well. ‘I’m a bit worried about her.’
‘She misses her family,’ Kate told him, ‘she gets very lonely.’
‘Er…well, she’ll appreciate spending Christmas Day with you. Are you going to Alan and Mary’s on Christmas Eve?’
The Crabtrees’ Christmas Eve parties were something of an institution, starting about nine with supper and sherry, going on to embrace Midnight Mass, with a return to their warm, comfortable house for mince pies and coffee before the evening broke up.
‘Yes, I’m looking forward to it, Are you?’
‘I’m hoping to. I’m not due to start at the hospital until nine on Christmas Day, but you never know. Look, we’re nearly there,’ he told her as they negotiated a hill and the vast sprawl of the power station lay below them. One of the most modern of its kind, normally it excited a fearful feeling of dread in the pit of Kate’s stomach, but today her dislike of the buildings and what they represented was overriden by her unwillingness to face Jake.
Because of the danger of demonstrations and the safety hazards they had to stop at the gates, where Kevin showed his pass.
‘That’s something that Jake’s already tightened up on,’ Kevin commented, ‘and not before time. During the school holidays, it seems to draw the kids like a magnet and they’re forever trying to break in. Jake’s suggested taking parties of them round during term time, which sounds a good idea; not only does it satisfy their curiosity, it also helps to give them an understanding of how nuclear power works.’ He saw her face and said gently, ‘Kate, I know how you feel, but let’s face it, nuclear power is here to stay, and we are only talking about a power station here, love, not a missile site, although rumour has it that Jake has worked on missile sites in the past…’
‘It’s still dangerous, Kevin,’ Kate protested. ‘Look at the danger of nuclear waste; the mere fact that it can’t be destroyed is surely evidence enough of the sort of thing we’re tampering with, like children tampering with fire. We think we’ve got it under control, but really…’ She broke off as Kevin turned into the car park and brought the car to a halt. ‘Out you get,’ he instructed, adding teasingly, ‘Got your notepad and pencil?’
Jake had taken over the suite of offices used by the previous director, but whereas before they had always seemed cluttered and casual, now they were almost austere. A smiling receptionist had announced their arrival and they had been shown immediately into Jake’s presence. He had been seated behind a plain rosewood desk, unfamiliar in the formality of a dark pinstriped suit, and a toning tie.
‘We’ll talk in the conference room,’ he told them, walking round his desk to join them and indicating another door.
The conference room was a new departure; a part of the office suite Kate vaguely remembered but which had now been transformed with magnolia walls, and a tan tweed carpet, to offset the long oval table with its attendant chairs. Attractive modern prints enlivened the wall, and a discreet cocktail cabinet ran the length of one wall. A little to her surprise Jake didn’t go to the head of the table but seated himself in the middle of one length. ‘It’s more comfortable like this,’ he murmured when he saw her surprise. ‘I suggest you sit opposite me if you’re going to take notes, you’ll find it easier to hear that way.’
Responding with a curt smile, Kate started to sit down, colour staining her cheeks as she realised that they were being watched by several of the other members of the committee. The gossip had obviously spread farther afield than Woolerton, but then Rita had many acquaintances. She supposed it was something she ought to have expected, but it was humiliating to be studied so curiously when Jake made the introductions, fine irony in his voice as he used the maiden name to which she had reverted. No doubt every single one of these men bar Jake and Kevin was wondering about their supposed relationship, and the bold manner in which Jake’s eyes lingered on her body left Kate in no doubt that he was equally aware of their speculation, but that, unlike her, he did not find anything embarrassing in it.
‘I see the suit didn’t suffer any permanent damage,’ he drawled, finally lifting his eyes from her breasts. Kate could almost feel the swift resurgence of male interest and appraisal, and the glance she gave him was evocatively indignant, although patently of little effect, because he announced to the room at last, ‘Kate had the misfortune to spill a glass of red wine all over herself the last time she dined with me. Fortunately I remembered that salt is an excellent remedy against wine stains.’
‘I’ll have to remember that,’ one of the younger members of the Committee murmured, grinning thoughtfully, and under the gentle wave of laughter, Kate forced herself to hold Jake’s lazy glance. He had just publicly branded her as his, and had the audacity to look so smoothly pleased with himself that her fingers itched to smack the mockery from his smile. It was left to Kevin to make some remark about getting the meeting started, and although Kate dutifully took notes, it was over half an hour before her smarting thoughts were really on what was being said; part of her still seething with resentment at the way Jake had tried to publicise their relationship.
Eventually though she began to pay more attention. Jake was freely admitting that safety precautions were not as tight as they might be. ‘The next time we meet I want to arrange a tour of the station, so that we can all see what progress has been made.’
‘What good is that,’ Kate interrupted heatedly, ‘when we aren’t being permitted to see what the situation is now?’ She was conscious of being the cynosure of all eyes, and thought she detected surprise in more than one pair of male eyes—probably wondering if her comment was an extension of a lovers’ quarrel, she seethed bitte
rly, as she waited for Jake to reply.
‘I do take your point,’ he agreed a little to her surprise, his voice bland and smooth, ‘but I don’t feel I can risk the safety of my staff and outside personnel on a tour at this stage. You will just have to accept that I have toured the station myself, and made firm representations to the departments concerned, telling them that I intend to monitor their reactions.’
‘Yes, a couple of Heads of departments have been grumbling about some of your recommendations,’ one man interrupted. ‘They’re saying that it will affect productivity, and the men will grumble about losing bonuses.’
‘Then perhaps they’d better ask the men what’s more important to them; a little extra in their pay-packets, or their health and that of their families. Productivity will be up again once these safety measures have been brought into operation.’
‘The drills you’ve been making them all do are certainly beginning to take effect,’ another man announced. ‘We’ve cut minutes off the routine and the men are beginning to make safety suggestions which we can really use.’
‘That’s good,’ Jake said crisply, ‘and it shows that they’re beginning to become more safety-conscious.’
‘You know that there’s been a bit of an anti-nuclear campaign conducted by the local Press?’ someone else asked. ‘Nothing too heated at the moment, but potentially it could be damaging—a bit of a backlash from all this anti-nuclear fever generated from Greenham Common.’