Thinking about Susan brought on a whole new set of emotions. He had tried calling her several times since she’d left him earlier, but she hadn’t answered her phone. As much as he had wanted to drive to Sam’s and beg her to talk with him, in the end he’d decided it would make more sense to talk with Lissa first so that he’d have more to share with Susan. He rested his elbows on the table, dropped his head onto his fisted hands, and closed his eyes as he thought about how radically different the evening was from what he’d planned.
When he looked up again, Lissa was staring at him. She still looked nervous and almost sickly but, if Riley wasn’t mistaken, there was a small spark in her eyes that hadn’t been there before. Not knowing what to make of it, he asked another question even though he was afraid to hear the answer.
“Where have you been living? And what are your plans?”
“We haven’t been real settled lately. We stayed with my sister for a while, but she’s got her hands full with her own family and she made it clear she didn’t want us around any longer. As far as my plans, I guess that depends partly on you,” she said, tossing the ball back in his court.
“I want to know my son, Lissa. One way or another, I want to make that happen.” Riley hesitated. Did he want her to stay in Misty Lake? What would that mean for his relationship with Susan? “I guess there are some things we’re going to have to work out. I hope you can stay around until we can make those decisions.”
“I, ah, don’t know how long I can hang out with Courtney so I might have to look for somewhere to stay…it would have to be pretty cheap, I don’t have much money right now, so if you know of some place…” Lissa tensed and held her breath as she waited for Riley’s response.
“Oh, well, I don’t know, I could ask around, I guess.”
“Okay, and I’ll try to get an idea of what Courtney is thinking. Like I said, though, there are expenses and I’m not sure how long I can stick around.”
She wanted money. How had he not realized that sooner? “Listen, Lissa, if you need some money to get you through for a while, I can try to help.”
“I guess I wouldn’t say no, kids are pretty expensive…”
“I’ll help out with Ryan.” It came out angrier than he had intended, but he was starting to feel like she was playing him. Was money the only reason she came back to Misty Lake? “I’ll help,” he repeated, forcing his voice to stay calm. He reached in his pocket and pulled out his checkbook. Scribbling a check for her, he slapped it on the table.
Lissa watched as he wrote the check. She reached for it and shoved it in her purse, but not before stealing a glance at the amount.
“You can take it to First National, they’ll cash it for you. When can I see Ryan again? I’d like a chance to spend some time with him.”
“Tomorrow,” she said a little too eagerly. “I have some things I should take care of, maybe you could spend a couple of hours with him tomorrow afternoon?”
Alone? he wanted to ask but settled for a long, hard look at Lissa. Granted, he was the boy’s father, but Lissa barely knew him. He had to believe most mothers would be more protective. He could tell Lissa was growing restless, she had started to shift in her seat and play with the straw in her soda.
“Sure, tomorrow afternoon would be great. Do you want me to pick him up?”
“No, how about I meet you at the park in town. He saw it earlier today and he’s been asking me to take him there. It will keep him busy and you won’t have to bother with him too much.”
“He won’t be a bother,” Riley said as his forehead creased and he studied Lissa.
“Well, I didn’t mean a bother, really, I just meant that there will be plenty for him to do. You can see how he loves to climb and what a little daredevil he is when it comes to swings. He’ll tell you to push him higher and higher until you’re sure the swing is going to flip right over the bar.”
“What time?”
“One o’clock?”
“Sure. Great. I’ll see you then.” Riley dropped some bills on the table and left as quickly as he could. Something didn’t seem right, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on it. Maybe she was just nervous, it would make sense. Right now, though, he knew he needed to head to his parents’ house. It was a conversation he wasn’t looking forward to.
As Lissa watched him leave, she relaxed. A little. It had gone reasonably well, she thought. She snuck another peek at the check in her purse and breathed a sigh of relief as she started calculating. It would get her through for a while. She couldn’t put off new shoes for Ryan much longer, his toes were almost poking through the ones he’d been wearing since they’d left California. She would probably need to pick up a few shirts and pairs of pants, as well. The boy seemed to grow overnight. That shouldn’t use up too much of the check. She’d have to help out with groceries if they were going to stay at Courtney’s. But there’d be enough left over, she’d make sure of it. And it meant the cash she had in her purse right now was hers to do with as she chose.
She got in her car and followed the same directions she’d followed earlier that day. This time when she parked and made her way across the yard, she did so with more confidence. She knocked on the door, answered when he demanded to know who was there, and when the door finally opened, squared her shoulders and spoke clearly.
“You mentioned you might have something else I’d be interested in?”
He snorted in reply. “They always come back,” he laughed as he unlocked a cabinet and reached inside.
It took only the briefest glance at her son as he walked into her kitchen to know that something was wrong. Dispensing with the silly greeting she still used when it was just the two of them, Anna instead slipped straight into mother hen mode.
“What’s the matter, Riley?” She didn’t want to think about the possibility of there being problems between her son and the woman she knew in her heart was the right person for him, but the look on his face told her that was most likely the case.
“Hi, Mom.” He gave her a hug and, Anna noticed, held on a little longer than normal.
Anna hugged back while her heart ached. He didn’t behave like this unless something was really bothering him. As much as she wanted to ask again, demand even, she knew she needed to wait until he was ready to talk.
“Is Dad home?”
“Yes, he’s out in the garage playing around with the lawn mower. He’s convinced it’s going to be dry enough and warm enough to mow before long.” Anna shook her head. “You know your dad.”
“Yeah.” Riley attempted a smile but it didn’t reach his eyes. “I think I’ll go see if he can take a break.”
When Riley headed to the garage, Anna put the kettle on the stove. Before long, Sean followed Riley into the kitchen, wiping his hands on a rag and, Anna thought, blessedly oblivious to the fact that upsetting news of some sort was headed their way.
“Maybe you guys can sit down for a minute, I need to talk to you,” Riley said.
“How about a cup of tea first?” Anna asked. Keeping her hands busy would help. Her mind seemed to want to focus on something other than the problem staring her in the face, and images of the countless times over the years that she had brewed a pot of tea, sat one member of her family or another down at this very kitchen table, and listened, counseled, and sometimes cried, flashed through her memory like some wild movie on fast forward.
Anna settled Riley and Sean at the table, set tea in front of them, and added a plate of cookies. She had just baked peanut butter cookies, Riley’s favorite, and when he didn’t immediately reach for one, her concern deepened.
“I got some news earlier today. It came as quite a shock to me and I’m still trying to figure out how to deal with it, but I wanted to tell you before you heard it from someone else.”
Anna paled. “Are you sick, Riley?” Her voice was barely more than a whisper.
“No. Geez, Mom, I’m sorry, it’s nothing like that. I’m fine, healthy as a horse.”
The vice around Anna’s heart loosened somewhat. She knew her son better than anyone. He was telling her the truth, but, as she watched him fidget, she knew that there was difficult news to come.
“A girl I knew some years ago came back to town today. She showed up out at the inn this afternoon.” Riley reached for a napkin and twisted it into a knot. “She had a boy with her. She told me he’s my son.”
One of Anna’s hands flew to her mouth as the other reached for Sean’s. Squeezing his hand, she looked at her son through dazed eyes while trying to process what he was telling them. It was silent for a long time.
Sean was the first to speak. He leaned back a little in his chair and fixed his eyes on his son’s. “Who is this girl?”
“Her name is Melissa Cosgrove. I don’t think you ever met her. She spent a summer here about six—I guess almost seven—years ago. She worked at the resort, hung around town when she had time off.”
“And you never knew about the child until today?”
“No, Dad, I had no idea. Lissa showed up out of the blue. I hadn’t even heard from her since she left at the end of that summer.”
“Where has she been? Why didn’t she let you know?”
“I don’t know too much. I’m just getting back from meeting with her. We talked a little, but I feel like I don’t know much more than I did before. She told me she lived with her sister for a while, but also said she and Ryan have been on their own for some time. The details are kind of fuzzy. I’m not really sure where she’s been for all these years and why she decided to tell me now, except she said Ryan had started to ask questions.”
“His name is Ryan?” Anna managed. She felt a tear escape and drip to her cheek.
“Aw, Mom, don’t cry. Please.”
“I’m sorry, Riley, this is just a lot to take in. You have a son? We have another grandson? He’s almost six years old and we’ve never laid eyes on him?” Her voice shook with emotion and she dabbed at her eyes with a napkin.
“What happens now? Is she here to stay?” Sean boomed.
Anna understood, and almost appreciated, Sean’s barely contained anger. Shoot questions at Riley, try to piece together the answers. His methodical approach to problem solving had served him well in his years as Misty Lake’s sheriff, as well as his years as a parent. Now, having something concrete to focus on would mean less time to think about all they had missed, about all that could have been.
“I’m going to spend some time with him tomorrow afternoon. Lissa is going to stay around for a while…I don’t know how long. We have some things to work out.”
“I’ll say you do,” Sean snapped.
Anna spotted the hurt in Riley’s eyes and knew Sean did, too. His tone softened.
“Listen Riley, the situation may not be ideal, but it’s nothing that can’t be figured out. What are you thinking right now? What do you want?”
“I just don’t know, Dad. I haven’t had much time to really think about it.”
“I’d like to think we raised you to do the right thing. This girl may have not handled things in the best way—you had a right to know about the child from the start—but since you know now, you have a responsibility and we expect you to take that responsibility seriously.”
“I know that. I intend on doing what I can…trying to be a part of his life, I guess.”
“You guess? I think you’d better do a little more than guess.” Again Sean’s voice rose and again he tamped it back. On a sigh, Sean started again. “Riley, if this child is yours—” He stopped suddenly and pursed his lips. “Are you certain he’s your child?”
Riley seemed to grow even more uncomfortable. “Lissa said he’s mine. I asked the same question and she seemed genuinely hurt and started to cry. I didn’t want to push and upset her more than she already was.” Riley looked down at the table. “It’s not impossible that he’s mine,” he mumbled.
“Well, not impossible and for certain are two very different things. Don’t you think you should insist on some proof?”
“Yes, and I will. But I just keep wondering why she would lie about it. Why say I’m his father if I’m not?”
Sean shook his head. “That I can’t know. I just think it would be wise to be sure before you get too deeply involved.”
It was Anna’s turn to speak up. “You’re going to see him tomorrow? Do you think we could meet him?” She was almost desperate.
“Maybe the next time, Mom. I think I need to get to know him first. I don’t know if he’s shy around new people…I don’t want him upset or scared right from the start.”
“I suppose you’re right. But you’ve seen him already…what does he look like?” She needed something.
Riley nodded, as if understanding the need. “He’s got brown hair that’s a little wavy and dark blue eyes.” Riley focused on a spot in the distance and his forehead creased as he concentrated. “He’s got a few freckles on his nose, he runs like he could keep going all day, and when he smiles it seems to fill his whole face. He seemed very polite, I heard please and thank you, and he loved Gusto…”
At this he stopped and Anna figured she knew why. His voice, his posture, his expression, all told Anna that, whether he realized it or not, Riley already thought of the boy as his son. But aside from the overwhelming shock and the confusion, there was more going on.
“How is Susan taking the news?”
Riley sunk lower in his chair, his head falling back and his shoulders sagging. “Not so well. She was there when Lissa showed up. I tried to talk to her but…I don’t know, I guess I didn’t do a very good job of it. She left, I had to go meet Lissa. I’ve tried calling her but she’s not answering.”
“It’s a shock for her, too, Riley. I know you have a lot on your mind, but if you care about Susan the way I think you do, you’re going to have to make a special effort to include her in some of the decision making. Give her a little time, but not too much.”
“Today’s her birthday. I had made plans, a surprise, and now…” He raised his hands and let them fall.
“I’m sorry, that’s lousy timing.” As she’d done when her children had been young, Anna longed to take away the pain, wished it could be given to her, instead.
“Yeah. So what am I supposed to do now? I’m sure by tomorrow half the town is going to know my business.”
“We can’t tell you what to do, Riley, you’re going to have to figure that out for yourself. Just put that boy’s best interests first,” Sean answered. “As far as the people in town, you know how things work. Sure, there will be talk, but there will also be plenty of support from those who matter. As for the rest, let them talk. Words can’t hurt you. You’d do well to remember that.”
“Thanks, Dad, I will.”
27
Riley figured he’d slept about an hour total. Every time he’d closed his eyes, images of the boy appeared. He saw him as a toddler learning to walk, at the park in one of those baby swings that held kids in place, swinging a big plastic bat at a wiffle ball. When he did drift off, the images turned dark. The boy was falling from the top of a slide and there was no one there to catch him. He waded out into the water and stumbled, his head bobbing up and down in the waves and him screaming for Daddy, but no one came. His chubby fingers reached for a cherry. He turned it over in his hands for a moment before stuffing it in his mouth. He started to choke; his face turned red and his eyes grew huge, pleading for help. No one noticed.
At three o’clock, Riley had finally given up and brewed a pot of coffee. He’d sat staring out at the darkness for hours but not finding any answers.
Now, as he sat at a picnic table and scanned the area for Lissa and Ryan, he was jumpy and tense, the result of not nearly enough sleep and far too much caffeine. He spotted them walking from the parking lot and had to smile as he watched Ryan pulling on his mom’s hand, trying to get her to hurry, while never taking his eyes off the playground. Riley walked to meet them.
“Hi, Ryan.”
The bo
y looked up at him and recognition slowly dawned. “Oh, hi. Did you bring your dog?”
“No, the dog isn’t here today, sorry about that.”
“Oh well, that’s okay.” Turning his attention to Lissa, he asked, “Can I go play?”
“Sure,” she answered, and he darted off.
“Thanks for bringing him today. I was a little worried you might change your mind.”
“Hmmm? Why? I mean, it will be okay. He shouldn’t be too much trouble.”
“I’m not worried about him being any trouble, Lissa.”
She seemed calmer than she had the day before…almost too calm. Her movements were slow and her eyes didn’t completely focus when she turned to look at him. “Are you feeling all right?”
“Oh, sure. Just a little tired. Didn’t get much sleep on the pullout at Courtney’s.” She attempted a crooked smile.
“I didn’t get much sleep, either,” Riley muttered. “We need to talk some more. I have more questions and there are a hundred different things we are going to have to figure out.”
“Sure, sure, we’ll talk. But later. Right now I need to go.” She turned to walk away, but Riley reached out and grabbed her arm.
“Lissa, what about right now? How long will you be gone? Where do you want to pick up Ryan? Has he had any lunch?”
“Oh. I guess I’ll pick him up here in a few hours. And no, I don’t think he’s had any lunch.”
“You don’t think?” When she gave him a confused look he added, “Never mind. I’ll let him play for a while then take him to get some lunch. Here’s my cell number in case you want to reach me.” He handed her one of his business cards which she absentmindedly shoved in her pocket.
“I’m sure he’ll be fine. He’s a good kid. Have fun.” With a little wave at Riley and without a word to her son, she was off.
Riley watched her for a moment and wondered again if she was ill, but he quickly turned his attention to Ryan who was racing around the playground in a game of tag with the half dozen friends he seemed to have already made. Since he didn’t know what Lissa had told him, Riley caught up with Ryan.
The Inn at Misty Lake: Book Two in the Misty Lake Series Page 22