“You took thirty minutes to score a perfect mark on a test that typically takes hours to complete. If you didn’t go to school and those bastards that took you didn’t let you read or teach you anything, then how do you have knowledge of calculus, Cassandra?” Gerome’s eyes were penetratingly intense. “Are you not being honest with me about what happened at that … place? You can tell me anything, and I won’t be disappointed in you.”
To my ears that sounded exactly like what he would be, disappointed.
“Gerome, why does it matter if I went to school? So I’m a liar now?”
I stood in anger at the word liar, and he took a step toward me as if to calm me. The kettle on the stove chose to give a high whistle and the air pressure in the room changed as the front door came open.
“Hello, the house?” came from the entryway and then the sound of the door shutting with the rustle of a coat hung on a hook.
Maggie came around the short dividing wall to see Gerome and me standing tensely staring at her while the kettle continued to whistle on the stove top.
“So, I see coming home for lunch was a good decision?”
Chapter Four: F.Y.I
Maggie went between us to grab the kettle, put it on a cold burner, and set up another mug with a tea bag for herself. Watching Maggie pour the hot water took some of the anger away. I felt stupid standing there across from Gerome, so I sat in my chair again.
My uncle must have felt the same way since he leaned back against the counter to gracefully accept the mug Maggie handed him. My aunt came over to the table, placed my tea in front of me, set hers down as well and continued to bustle around the small area putting together lunch. It looked like sandwiches.
No one spoke but it didn’t feel tense, it felt like a comfortable silence. When Maggie had placed the three sandwiches on the table, she pulled out her chair to sit and gave Gerome a look that said, ‘Sit down, you idiot.’ He sheepishly came over to his seat.
“So what had you two standing like you were when I came in? Were you making a hash of things, Gerome?”
My uncle had just taken a bite of his sandwich so he could only look at Maggie indignantly and then to me as if to say, ‘You answer her.’
“Apparently it isn’t normal for a person to score perfectly on that test I took,” I grumped.
Gerome finished chewing and added, “I wasn’t trying to accuse you of being a liar, Cassandra. It’s just that there’s so much we don’t know about your time there.”
I huffed. “You’re one to talk. I haven’t yet gotten an explanation from you about much of anything! You haven’t told me where we are, how you rescued me or even found me! There aren’t any pictures you’ve shown me or anything else that proves you’re even who you say you are!”
I said that last knowing it was a lie to hurt him. He felt familiar to my heart in a way I couldn’t explain, but I was so tired of everyone else running the show on me. It felt good to lash out.
Maggie chose to say, “You’re in the United States on land owned by our people in a compound built for our protection in Texas. No one told you the location because, if compromised, you could pass it on to the people who held you prisoner.”
My uncle started to speak, and my aunt gruffly cut him off. “Hush, it’s my turn, Gerome. You’ve abided by the Council’s ruling for too long. I won’t lose her so soon after we found her just because it’s against the rules.”
My uncle slumped in his chair, deflated. Maggie reached out and patted his hand while she took a bite of her sandwich.
After chewing with relish and rinsing it down with a sip of tea, Maggie continued. “The position on our people’s Council is necessary for Gerome. He’s trying to bring about a change from within. Our people should be more on the offensive instead of mostly defensive. Gerome risked his position without a thought to find and rescue you when you appeared in the Web. I’ve never been so proud.” Maggie beamed at him, and his cheeks turned a brilliant shade of pink.
“That’s all well and good, Maggie, but how did Gerome find me? What was that flash of light? How did you talk to me in my mind? Did I imagine it all?”
I hadn’t touched any of my lunch. Maggie nodded to my plate, eyebrows high. With a sigh, I took a bite of the surprisingly good monstrosity. When I finished chewing, I dutifully reached for my tea and took a sip. True to expectation, I’d felt the gritty grind of dirt as I’d eaten.
“You’ve also been withheld training which I plan to put a stop to today. I can train you myself in the beginning, as most parents do in the first stages of accessing the Web.”
My uncle had a wary expression on his face. “Now, Maggie, I’m not sure how wise this is. It’s not a decision you can unmake.”
Maggie turned to me as if Gerome hadn’t spoken. “My husband still has hope for our people to change and I don’t. I say we move on and be done with it because it’s the right thing to do. I think you’ve been accessing the Web already without training. It would explain how you know things without effort, but I think you might be doing it subconsciously, and that’s a worry.”
“Why is it bad, Maggie, and how could I be doing it without knowing?”
My uncle chose to answer. “The Web is full of minds. Some alive. Some aren’t. And some aren’t human.”
I raised my eyebrows at that, but he continued. “Not all of the minds in the Web are good. Not all Weavers have the same purpose. I made a connection and a friend who’s from another galaxy. They happen to be more scientifically advanced than Earth is and have developed some, um, techniques we haven’t. One such capability is to follow a link in the Web to another person and pull not only their mind to you but their body as well. My friend was kind enough to help me after I found you. He brought you out of that hellhole.”
He extended his hand out as if to pat me on the forearm but I reached for my tea. Inside I still felt a petty anger, and it was puzzling me.
Maggie noticed the byplay and tut-tutted Gerome to finish his food then turned to me to say, “If ‘Laser Eyes’ as you called him had managed to form even the beginning of a link then the process of your rescue would’ve shredded it. It’s perhaps why you were out like a light when Gerome brought you to the compound. We were both worried sick, but then you woke up, and we’ve been getting to know one another over these past weeks. I think the time to coddle you is over.
“You need answers. Gerome’s mind swap with his friend was unorthodox. Usually, the only Weavers, who experiment with the process, are the younger set, and they’ve got a nickname for it. It’s called ‘fleshing.’ If anybody were to ask you to do it, the answer is no. I doubt it’ll come up. As you can imagine, that maneuver should only be done with someone you trust completely. While all Weavers have the ability to exchange minds, it isn’t good for the body or the soul to be very long from its proper host. Not to mention how draining it is. We can’t share with the Council why we know you're uncompromised. They must be convinced another way or not at all. Gerome could lose his position on the Council.”
“Who is the Council afraid of? Who was ‘Laser Eyes’ and why did he hold me all those years then try to force an attachment?”
Maggie and Gerome shared a look that spoke volumes. They were both in their late thirties with no children. Being married so many years, they had developed a language of subtle body movements and significant glances. I wondered if I’d ever be that close to someone.
My parents had had that. Yes, they were fighting the day they died, but even that they did with a passion I longed to feel. Lately, the only emotions I was familiar with were mostly unpleasant.
Maggie and Gerome concentrated on the food in front of them. I took the hint, eating as quickly as possible. Some frustrating hustle and bustle occurred with the cleanup. I pitched in to speed it along. My jailers had cleaned up after me. I guess they’d spoiled me in a way. That thought made me laugh a little and Gerome shot me a puzzled frown.
Maggie was by the sink with her back to us rinsing the
mugs and putting them in the wire drying rack on the counter. Heat and blood rushed to my cheeks. I looked away from Gerome and grabbed napkins from the table to toss them in the trash. Being around people and having to explain yourself all the time was wearing. It had been just me, myself, and I for so many years I was thrown by Gerome's reaction to my internal dialog and entertainment.
We moved to the living room to get more comfortable. I intentionally sat on Gerome's favorite beat up loveseat to see what he would do. I was disappointed by his lack of reaction since he just moved to the couch opposite, stretched out his long body in a reclining position and closed his eyes.
Maggie walked behind Gerome, smoothing his hair down. She sat on the floor between the couch and a solid looking dark wood coffee table with medical magazines haphazardly strewn about its top. Maggie tilted her head to nudge Gerome’s arm. He opened his eyes, turned on his side and began playing with her hair.
I was suddenly jealous. The feeling was unfamiliar, and I didn’t like what it said about me. Was that the root of my anger toward Gerome? Was I mad because he was happy and I most certainly wasn’t? If that was the reason, then why wasn’t I mad at Maggie as well? I made up my mind to stop being petty. If Gerome had risked his life with Maggie to rescue me when he knew I was alive, then I had to stop secretly hating him. I just didn’t know how to do it.
Maggie began to speak, with her eyes closed, in a relaxed almost sleepy voice. “I should probably break being a Weaver down into bits for you. Three parts are woven together like a braid to form those of our kind, hence the whole ‘Weaver’ designation. You have your mind, body, and soul. The Trinity. Without one, the other two don’t operate the way they should; each is a bridge to the other. Our souls form attachments and carry emotion. The soul is the highway between the mind and the body. The body contains the physical mind and has influence over the other two parts.
“For example, if you fall in love, get married and have children then you have added attachments to the soul and thoughts to the mind. The mind is what accesses the Web, but it cannot unless the soul and body are in balance.”
Maggie sat up reluctantly and grabbed a hunk of hair from the shorter section of her head. She separated it into three unequal parts.
“If you picture a braid in your mind, what happens when the three strands are uneven? The ends poke out into nowhere, and it’s crooked, right?”
She held up an ugly mess of braid as an example.
I nodded.
“Your uncle couldn’t see you in the Web until your three parts were ready. Some children ghost their parents by attaching a little of their essence with theirs to learn. This happens without thought by the child because, for us, it’s natural to want to reach beyond the physical, especially with family. They cannot, however, venture out on their own into the Web or be seen by others until they reach their physical maturity. If a person has a genetic similarity to another, then their physical bodies have an affinity that translates over into the Web. It’s easier to find family than anyone else. Emotional attachments within the soul work as well. Unless the physical body anchors them, they aren't always as strong.
“Gerome and I are married and have been physically, mentally, and emotionally attached for fifteen years. Our bond to one another is strong. In the Web, where there is one, there is the other.”
She smiled at Gerome, who had his eyes closed again and appeared to be dozing. Her expression became serious.
“You had virtually no training as a child if any at all. If you add in all your years of solitary confinement, I think your braid is probably extremely uneven. Your mind may have compensated for your survival and overextended itself by establishing a link to the Web subconsciously. If so, this would be the first instance I have ever encountered where someone ghosted the Web by themselves. This would explain your knowledge of things in the world without being exposed to them physically. I can’t say for certain until you and I try to access the Web together.”
Maggie’s gaze went sharp. “When I link I want to do it with your permission. I’d be acting as a surrogate mother, an irreversible bond. It goes both ways and makes each person stronger but vulnerable to the other.”
The silence drew out, and I realized she expected a response. If I had an attachment to her, it might be nice to feel like I belonged to someone and maybe those feelings of jealousy I had for Gerome would go away. On the flipside, I was used to being solitary and might start to rebel against someone always being there.
“How much access would this give you to me, Maggie? Would you know my every thought? Because you are linked so closely to Gerome, would he have access to my mind as well?”
The idea of losing the privacy of my one and only refuge was terrifying in the extreme. I could feel myself already beginning to balk at the mere idea of it.
Maggie paused for thought, and I liked the fact that she didn’t rush to reply.
“At first, when we link our souls, our minds may overlap. At that point, yes, there could be some accidental intrusion. You have to know, usually, this learning process starts in childhood and children don’t have a sense of self or boundaries the way an adult does. The parent steps in to be their boundary and the child learns from the experience what is and what is not proper in a bond.
“I won’t know your every thought, and you won’t know mine, but we’ll share some things with each other, possibly things we didn’t want to before we get our bearings. Gerome’s link to me is a part of who I am, so you should be able to recognize it, but it won’t give him access to your mind unless you reach out to form a permanent bond with him as well. Right now you have the unbolstered genetic affinity for one another he used to find you and pull you through the Web. All of this is new territory for me because I’ve never met anyone quite like you and your situation.”
I frowned. “So basically, you’re telling me you’re guessing?”
Maggie chuckled and nodded.
I leaned to the side in the love seat and threw my legs over the arm. My makeshift family waited, and I could hear the sound of Gerome shifting to get more comfortable on the couch.
I had to make a decision then. If I turned this down, I might never know what it was to be in a family the way I should have been. If I went ahead, there would be no turning back. There were no guarantees in life, so Maggie telling me her information was more theory than fact wasn’t disturbing. My internal voice urged me to try.
Shakily I inhaled before murmuring, “Alright.”
Maggie motioned me down to the floor, and I noticed her hand gesture was a little wobbly. She was trying to be calm for me as usual. The realization hit me this might be dangerous for both of us in many ways.
There was no going back, and if I was damaged, then what would it do to Maggie? I glanced at Gerome as this crossed my mind and noticed the intense worry he couldn’t hide in his eyes. Perhaps this was one of the ways I was dangerous?
Something else occurred to me, and I directed my question to Gerome. “You said earlier that some minds in the Web weren’t living. Does that mean Mother and Father--?” I trailed off, enraptured with hope, fear and barely contained excitement.
As Gerome processed my question, I could see more than one emotion flit briefly in his eyes before worry came back to the forefront.
“They are there technically, but it’s only memories of them, not them. You must not try to make a permanent connection. Promise me, Cassandra, or I’m calling a halt to this right now.”
His grim tone washed away whatever burgeoning hope I’d been feeling and replaced it with anger instead, mainly at him.
Maggie stepped in. “Gerome you’re scaring her! You’re scaring me, damn it! It’s not like she had a childhood with any guidance. Quit being an asshat because you’re scared to lose us both.”
Her name calling didn’t make Gerome angry. It seemed to take all the oomph out of him. I saw him visibly deflate.
“Look, I’m sorry. Maggie’s right. This whole thing is te
rrifying to me. I don’t know how to help you. I wasn’t a very good brother to Rebecca. I was selfish and pigheaded, so I lost her to your father and the world. I just…I’m sorry.”
He ended the sentence with his face in his hands, and the ends of his fingers were bunching up the hair Maggie had smoothed down earlier.
I made a leap in understanding I didn’t think I could. My uncle was just as messed up as me. So far, the only successful relationship I’d observed was his with Maggie, and she cut him a lot of slack. Maybe my feelings about not relating to people very well had more to do with genetics than my aborted childhood. Nature over nurture, so to speak.
“Gerome, I’m not upset. It feels good to have someone who cares about me. I have that with you and Maggie, but if you could stop yelling at me to show you care that’d be great.”
It was totally silent, and then Maggie laughed deep in her diaphragm, and it was catching. Before I knew it, we all were laughing so hard each of us had tears in our eyes.
After our moment of mirth ended, I got my breath. “Why is it dangerous to form an attachment to a person who isn’t living?”
They wiped their eyes with their sleeves, and Maggie gave Gerome a look like ‘go ahead’ and he said, “The Trinity is necessary for proper attachment. You need a mind, body, and soul. If you were to try and attach yourself to the memory of your parents, it would draw on the energy of your soul and body eventually killing you. The memories of our loved ones are just echoes of their minds that can be learned from but not lived with. When the body dies, the soul separates and goes somewhere else. We don’t know where. That’s something we have in common with regular humanity—no one knows what happens when we die. Even my more advanced ‘friend’ doesn’t know the answer.”
Chimera (The Weaver Series Book 1) Page 5