I nodded, afraid to interrupt his sharing of information. I guess it was a rhetorical question because he never glanced my way but continued to stare off into the distance.
“Not all Weavers come from established family lines. Some are born with the regular human population. We search them out in asylums and hospitals, even through social work. Over the years, most of the clans have sought out new blood less and less because of the danger to those searching for spontaneous Weavers in the general population.”
He exhaled deeply and continued. “What I fear is that we’re killing ourselves by seclusion. We, as a people, were never meant to forgo marriage and life with regular humans or Outsiders as we call them. The force and purpose of life are to evolve. We’ll never do that on the present course. There are also those Weavers that consider regular humans to be less and any Weaver found in the general population to be contaminated. Add the complication of Weavers being hunted by the organization that held you captive and you get an instinctual fear reaction to withdraw and protect what’s yours. We’ve hidden throughout the years for fear of retaliation.
“Look what happened during the Holocaust, Inquisition, and any other time the regular human population let their fear rule. It’s an understandable reason to want to remain hidden, but I want the choice to be ours when we ‘come out’, so to speak. I don’t view Outsiders as less. How could I when you look at the Albert Einsteins and Stephen Hawkings of the world?”
The wind had picked up again, and the smell of ozone was getting stronger. At best, I figured our time was limited. Gerome was already squinting at the sky.
“So, Harris is connected to someone in the Council, isn’t he? That’s why you told me to stay away from him, besides the fact that he’s an asshat.”
I smiled broadly wondering if he would correct my foul language.
“Maggie’s a bad influence on you. Maybe some time with Malcolm is just what you need.”
I could tell he was concerned, so I stopped acting playful.
“This is serious business, Cass. I meant what I said about Harris. He may be a mean weak fool, but he’s connected. Harris has never been made to feel the rules were for him. There’s no line he won’t cross, and now you’re on his hit list. Stay. Clear. Understood?”
“Yes, I understand.” I wiped all amusement off my face because Gerome was turning away to head toward the infirmary and I still had one more question. “Gerome?”
He turned at the sound of his name.
“Who held me captive? Who is killing Weavers?”
“Do you remember what I mentioned about fear making people do horrible things?”
I nodded and drifted closer. The building still hid us, but I don’t think Gerome wanted anybody passing by to eavesdrop.
“Many, many years ago when Weavers were still relatively new and existed openly with other humans, a whole town was wiped out. Every man, woman, and child but one died; that one child was an evolutionary leap. The child could repair mind-trapped Weavers.
“No one else has ever been born with this ability as far as anyone’s ancestors memories can recall. The flipside to this gift is the child could also hop to another Weaver’s body and push their soul aside, eventually becoming what we call a Soul Eater.
“This person has hopped bodies to live an obscenely long life—for centuries in fact. Have you ever heard the expression ‘The eyes are the window to the soul’? I think the person who tortured you the last day before I rescued you—the one you called ‘Laser Eyes’—was our Soul Eater. I believe the purpose of keeping you alive was to use your body as a host.”
I opened my mouth to ask another question, and Gerome made a shushing motion.
“I think you’ve had enough information for today. Let’s head to the infirmary. Something tells me it’s a bad idea to leave you alone right now. You should know curiosity sometimes truly does kill the cat.”
He was trying to lighten the mood, but I had a lot to think about. We emerged from behind the screen of the building and out onto the dirt road. It did smell like rain on the wind, and I picked up my pace to race the impending shower. The last thing I wanted was to be cold and wet. Gerome only had to lengthen his stride to keep up.
Most everyone else had gone indoors, and any other people out were in a hurry and keeping mostly to themselves. Now and again Gerome would get a head nod in passing or a small wave. He made sure to acknowledge every gesture sent his way and sometimes he even put his hand on my shoulder as a person passed.
I could see the white infirmary roof fast approaching and I wanted to make sure Gerome knew my curiosity wasn’t satisfied.
“Before you dump me on Maggie you should know I won’t stop asking you questions, especially when it involves my parents.”
“You remind me a lot of Rebecca. She was stubborn too, and annoying.”
I snorted as we drew even with the doors and faced one another.
“I am glad I found you,” Gerome added. “It was worth the risk to have you here. Don’t worry too much for once, Cassandra. Let Maggie and I share your burden. That’s what family does for one another. They help to lighten the load, make the going easier.”
And just like that, he turned and strode away. I watched for a bit and then my mind started to wander. What if Gerome's secret friend hadn't gotten me free? I could have been me no longer while some other person occupied my body. A cold shiver went down my spine. I had no desire to live if it was that or nothing.
I was standing there in front of the door with my hand still on the knob, staring off into space and no doubt looking quite the loon when James spoke up.
“Are you gonna block the door all day or can I go in?”
I jumped at the sound of his voice and then got embarrassed for starting so easily. “I-I’m sorry, I was thinking about something. I didn’t mean to be in the way.”
James reached around me and put his hand over mine on the doorknob, his fingers completely enclosing mine. When he squeezed to turn the cold metal, it felt like all the breath whooshed out of my lungs. When he withdrew his hand to push the door open and stepped up close to me, I didn’t want him to move away.
Nicky was at the front counter measuring some liquid from a big bottle into a little one with a funnel. “Hi, James! Kara’s been fine since you left if you want to swing back and see her. There aren’t any other patients with Maggie either, Cassandra.”
The sound of her voice broke the strange spell. Time started again. We both tried to go through at the same time. Since I was smaller than James, I turned sideways to avoid the collision and zipped in front of him.
James caught up and grinned as he pulled up the counter flap. “I think I’ll handle this part seeing as how your track record isn’t great.”
“Thanks a lot. How’s your face? I hope it still hurts.” Oh my God where did that come from! He was going to end up hating me! I’m an idiot. What was it about this boy that was making me act so strangely? My inner voice was finding this hilariously entertaining.
To my surprise, he laughed. “I’m glad you’re awake now instead of standing around like a zombie, thinking.”
James made a face at me that seemed silly and certainly didn’t improve his looks, but I suddenly started to laugh. I couldn’t stop.
Before I knew it, I was gasping for breath but not in a happy way. It felt like all the events of the day were about to come crashing down on me, and I wanted to cry.
I turned away as fast as I could. James threw Nicky a look like, ‘I don’t know, do you?’ I escaped as quickly as I could through the swinging doors.
Maggie was standing by Kara’s bed taking her pulse, but when she saw my face, she dropped her arm to the bed and rushed toward me.
I couldn’t seem to get enough air in my lungs, and I was trying so hard. As soon as Maggie wrapped her arms around me I began to sob, loud, ugly sobs I didn’t even recognize as my own. I didn’t care that James was around to see it anymore. I just wanted Maggie to hold me forev
er.
Maggie’s soft voice whispered in my ear.
“It’s okay, honey, you let it all out, I’m here.”
I could feel her herding me over to a cot, and I let her like I was helpless to do anything for myself. As we sat on the mattress, Maggie pulled me so close I might as well have been on her lap and began to rub my back gently. I cried so long and loud I lost track of time.
A snippet of memory flitted across my mind from my childhood. Once, when I was small, I’d had a nightmare and ran from my room to my parents’ bed. Mother pulled me under the covers then held me just like Maggie was right now. I could almost smell the laundry soap from the sheets and feel her sleep-warm body snug against my back. The memory was more of a reliving than a recollection. My breath started to come easier, and my tears stopped.
I’d made an absolute puddle of body fluids on Maggie’s shirt. When I pulled back to move away from the wet spot she asked, “Feeling a little better, dear?”
I was too embarrassed to look up, but I nodded.
“Let’s get each other cleaned up and then we can talk in my office, honey.”
She stood and lifted me at the same time. When she was sure I was steady on my feet, she wrapped her arm around me, and we shuffled down the row of beds. I realized she was shielding me from James’ view, and my heart swelled with a feeling of profound gratitude. Maggie made some motion toward him as if to say ‘sit down’ and then we were past and headed to the bathroom area down a short hall to the right of her office.
Once the door closed, she grabbed a cloth from a cabinet under the sink and wiped my face clean of tears. Turning on the tap; she let it run for a minute while she soaked the face cloth and wrung it out.
“Put this on your eyes, it’ll help with the puffiness.”
I took the cold cloth. It felt so good I exhaled with an ‘ah’ sound. Eyes covered, I heard Maggie moving around opening the cabinet door again, and then the rustle of cloth on skin. When I lowered the face cloth from my abused eyes, Maggie had on another t-shirt and was tossing the wet one into a hamper by the sink.
I caught sight of myself in the mirror. Wow, I cried ugly. My eyes were red and swollen, and my nose and cheeks were raw. I turned the tap and rinsed the cloth out then tossed it in the hamper with Maggie’s ruined shirt.
“So, you haven’t even asked me what that was all about…” My voice sounded raspy and unused.
Maggie put her hand on my left shoulder. “That was about you being human, dear, and I’m glad you trust me enough to let me see it.”
She wrapped an arm around me to steer us out, but I pulled away. “Um, I need to pee.”
Maggie just patted my upper arm. “Of course, I’ll be in my office after I reassure your James you’re alright.”
My head snapped up suddenly alert. She laughed. “I see that’s news to you? Well, we’re not telling Gerome because he’ll have kittens. After all, you’re only thirteen.”
With a chuckle, she left the bathroom and sure enough when the door swung open, I got a glimpse of James standing at the end of Kara’s bed watching the bathroom alertly.
I took a deep, shaky breath and realized I felt superb if a little worn out. In fact, I felt the best I’d felt in longer than I could remember. Was I losing my mind, though? What had possessed me to act so strangely? I never cried anymore, not since they’d punished it out of me.
I moved slowly to the stall. I hadn’t been all day long and the tea Maggie made me drink at lunch was trying to escape before I could get my pants completely off. I sat down so hard on the seat it slid sideways, and I almost hit my head on the wall. That was the last thing I needed, to pee my pants and knock myself out on the toilet with James waiting outside.
A laugh bubbled out and this time, it felt normal, with no compulsion to cry hysterically. My inner voice said; see that’s not so bad, you’re not crazy.
When I left the bathroom, I felt almost normal until I saw James. He hadn’t moved from the spot at the end of his sister’s bed, and he looked anxious. As he made eye contact with me, we both walked toward one another.
Neither one of us seemed ready to break the silence, so I moved to the side of Kara’s bed to inspect the bandage I’d applied to her cheek. I noticed how her eyes were closed peacefully in sleep, not staring off into space as they were the first time I had seen her. The instinct to reach out and soothe her was a compulsion I couldn’t deny. I traced the backs of my fingers against her forehead humming a lullaby under my breath I recalled my mother singing.
Kara’s eyelids fluttered like she might be dreaming and she murmured something I couldn’t make out. James pushed me aside roughly and leaned his ear down close to her mouth.
“What baby?” he whispered. “Can you hear me? I’m here; I won’t give up.”
Crouching that way had to have been uncomfortable, but a full five minutes must’ve passed before he straightened and rushed to Maggie’s office, going in without knocking. I heard their voices, muted through the wall, and then James hurried out, Maggie in tow.
“I think she mumbled something, but I couldn’t make it out,” he said. “Cassandra was closer, and then her eyes were moving beneath her eyelids like a regular REM pattern. Do you think she could be finally reconnecting?”
Maggie looked astonished and hurried over to the side of the bed that James and I weren’t crowding to pick up Kara’s pale, thin wrist and check her pulse. She mumbled something to herself and pulled a penlight out of her pocket to lift each eyelid then flash the tiny light in each eye briefly. On the table, next to the bed sat a stethoscope. Maggie snatched it up, inserted into her ears, and put to Kara’s chest for several moments before discarding it on the table again.
Maggie spoke to James with a warily hopeful expression, “She’s showing more normal vitals. Do you want to look in the Web? I don’t want to get your hopes up, but I think you should try.”
James sat beside his sister immediately and closed his eyes. Maggie sat on the next bed over to close her eyes as well. I would guess she was acting as a monitor the same way Gerome had when she and I formed our attachment. The urge to close my eyes and try to connect to the Web again was almost overwhelming. I wasn’t sure of the protocol, and I didn’t want to intrude on what they were trying to do for Kara.
What if I caused her to be lost again by butting my way in where I shouldn’t be? I stood there feeling helpless, restless, and fidgety as the whole room took on a hushed quality. A good amount of time passed, I’m not sure if it was fifteen minutes or an hour, but eventually Maggie opened her eyes and tears began to fall as she rose with reluctance from the next bed. She reached across Kara’s still form to touch James.
“James, you have to stop. She isn’t there.”
James looked like he might not respond then he opened his eyes, shrugged his shoulder to knock Maggie’s hand off and said, “I can’t give up. I promised her I wouldn’t give up.”
Maggie motioned me toward her office. I hesitated, trying to make sure James would be okay without disobeying Maggie overtly.
James rose from the bed in one sharp move and zeroed in on me. “What did she say? You were closer. You had to have heard her!”
I jerked in Maggie’s direction. James was almost frantic.
“Don’t look at her, I asked you the question!”
When he saw my stricken expression, he grabbed the privacy curtain frame then threw it across the room and slumped dejectedly.
This time, Maggie motioned with her index finger in a compelling way toward her office. I didn’t linger but ran like a coward in the indicated direction.
Chapter Six: Infinity
I waited tensely in Maggie’s office, straining to hear any sounds from the open bed area at first, but I could only make out murmurs. While I waited, I saw my unfinished water bottle still sitting where I’d left it. I bent to grab it then changed my mind and let myself collapse in exhaustion on the worn soft furniture. Today had been a full day.
So many qu
estions had answers since my run-in with Gerome at the park. I should’ve been more satisfied. It just made me think of more things to ask, and while exhausted, I still felt restless. I planted my feet flat on the floor. It had gone quiet outside. Just when I was about to get up and go back out to check on Maggie, she came through her door. She was worn out. Her step had lost much of its bounce and her eyes drooped.
“He’s okay, just morose. His hopes were dashed again, sweetie. I don’t think he meant anything when he yelled at you. He’ll probably feel terrible about it later.”
Maggie went to her desk and slumped in her chair. I got the feeling I was in her spot on the couch.
“She did murmur something, Maggie. I couldn’t hear what it was. He didn’t make it up.”
Maggie rolled her head to stare up at the dried herbs hanging from the ceiling beams. I wasn’t sure she would speak, and then she answered.
“There are so many things we don’t know about being Weavers, even after all these years of living and sharing memories of our ancestors. I would have to say situations like Kara’s are the most heartbreaking and infuriating. She may very well have tried to break free or come out of it briefly. I just don’t know, Cassandra. I only know when he went to look, she wasn’t there.”
“Are you okay, Maggie?”
Rainfall hit the window behind her making soothing sounds against the glass. Storm clouds covered the sun, hurrying along the evening dimness to come. I didn’t know the time, but my stomach growled, so it was probably close to when we usually ate supper. Maggie’s closed eyes looked peaceful. I didn’t take her failure to respond to my question to heart.
I concentrated on my breathing and centered myself as I’d done dozens of times in the past and began to dream. This time, when I opened my mind’s eye, it was to a breathtaking landscape.
Maggie’s orange cord of flames was nearby with the bright multi-colored LED presence I thought had to be my uncle. Something off in the distance caught my interest. As soon as I focused, it zoomed toward me or vice versa. The effect was the same either way. Trying not to panic, I looked back at the tiny specks of light in the distance that were hopefully my aunt and uncle. My inner voice was calm and assured me I’d figure it out.
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